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Nanny envy

“I’m worried she likes her nanny better than me…”

“They behave so perfectly for their nanny and are monsters when I’m around!”

“My nanny sees my friends more often than I do.”

If you’ve ever felt this then you’re not alone. You’re suffering from nanny envy and it’s actually surprisingly normal, even natural, to feel this way. Nor is it confined to having a nanny – you may well feel the same way about your child’s attachment to a childminder or nursery nurse. So why does no-one ever talk about it?

Part of the problem is admitting that you’re envious of your nanny means admitting that you’d rather be at home with your children, and that might be seen as regretting your decision to work. It isn’t a binary situation, though, and the decision to work depends on many factors ranging from financial necessity to keeping your sanity intact. Your feelings may also change from one day to the next and higher levels of nanny envy just after your return to work or just after the weekend are normal too. How you feel towards the relationship your nanny has with your child probably also varies according to how you feel about your job. When you have a bad day or you don’t go into work staying at home seems the more attractive option and jealousy towards to person who gets to do that can creep in.

A bit of jealousy definitely isn’t a reason to reconsider your childcare choice. There are huge benefits to having a nanny, and one of those is in fact the strong bond that your child will form with her carer. If your child wants her nanny when nanny isn’t around try to see it as a positive sign of attachment. Your nanny will probably tell you that your child periodically requests you when you’re at work too. Children are well known for wanting what they don’t have after all.

It’s also well known among nannies and experienced employers that children will behave very differently for different people so if your little princeling eat his greens and naps in his cot for his nanny but refuses to eat anything except pasta and requires cuddles lying across you when you’re around you aren’t doing anything wrong. Part of it is down to experience on the nanny’s part and part of it is your child feeling safe and secure enough to test the boundaries and express his affection, in some cases by literally smothering you.

So how canyou combat these feelings?

Try to disentangle your feelings towards your work life and your feelings about your nanny. If you resent going to work rather than leaving your children, which are very different things, maybe it’s time to reassess your job.

If you feel your nanny is handling your child’s behaviour better than you ask them for some hints and tips. Most nannies are very happy to work with parents to create new strategies for dealing with behaviour as it makes their job easier too in the long run.

Make an effort to see your friends or parents from school socially on a regular basis so you don’t feel like your nanny has replaced you. Also encourage your nanny to create their own social circle if they don’t already have one. It can be nice for your child to keep in touch with other children from your NCT group or equivalent but there’s no reason that it has to be your nanny who goes to the meet-ups. If the other parents typically meet during the week suggest that you organise something at the weekend, and nothing is stopping you from going out for a meal or a drink without the children in the evening.

Be open with your nanny about it. They may be inadvertantly making the situation worse so tell them how you feel to avoid them treading on your toes. A good nanny will be sensitive to your feelings and mindful of the fact that you are the parent and nothing can replace that.

How Can Nannies Help Breastfeeding Mothers

If you’re nanny to a new-born baby or infant who’s still being breastfed, you can help make things much easier for mum, especially if she’s already started back at work and needs to continue breastfeeding.

To help both mum and baby, follow these simple tips:

Continue reading “How Can Nannies Help Breastfeeding Mothers”

Giving Our Children Time

There is pretty much a ‘How to Book’ about everything and for Parents, as well as nannies, this is most certainly true! From how to get a newborn to sleep through the night, to potty-training, to raising a well-rounded child. There is a plethora of information in books and on the internet.But some experts think that spending time playing with your child is the key to the rounded child. They suggest parents adopt a “five-a-day” approach with daily activities to help children reach their full potential.

There is pretty much a ‘How to Book’ about everything and for Parents, as well as nannies, this is most certainly true! From how to get a newborn to sleep through the night, to potty-training, to raising a well-rounded child. There is a plethora of information in books and on the internet.

The “five-a-day concept”

But some experts think that spending time playing with your child is the key to the rounded child. They suggest parents adopt a “five-a-day” approach with daily activities to help children reach their full potential. The five steps are as follows:
• Read to your child for 15 minutes
• Play with your child on the floor for 10 minutes
• Talk with your child for 20 minutes with the television switched off
• Adopt positive attitudes towards your child and praise them frequently
• Give your child a nutritious diet to aid development

How realistic is it?
Most parents will immediately add up the time involved: a whole forty-five minutes. In addition, there is the time it takes each day to provide nutritious meals. Particularly in households where both parents are working, couples will struggle to put aside this amount of time to play with their children after getting home. It is the dilemma facing every working parent: how to devote enough time to their children, while juggling career demands with household chores.

Doing It All Proves Impossible
In 2020 79% of mothers worked full time compared to 10 years previously when only 29 per cent did, a massive increase. And studies undertaken in America found that “supermoms” who try to “do it all”, are at greater risk of depression. Although employment is ultimately beneficial for women’s health, be it part-time or full-time, and mothers do not harm their young children by going out to work, women who try to excel both at work and at home, put themselves under too much pressure.

The Importance of Good Childcare
Is it reasonable then to expect parents to adhere to the five steps outlined above? A child’s parents may not be able to fit in all five activities, but the childcare can be of help. A good nanny will certainly be mindful of spending time playing with children and the importance of creative play in the early years. She should be able to tick the boxes of the playtime activities listed. Not all nannies will be required to provide meals for the children they care for but those that do will probably be instructed by the parents as to what their child is to eat. The fifth criterion, ensuring your child’s meals are health-giving, is therefore the parents’ responsibility. Good childcare then can help parents achieve their child’s “five-a-day”.

A Delicate Balancing Act
Most parents worry at one time or another that they are not doing enough by their children. The reality is, whether you are a parent in the home or working, most of us try our best to provide for our child and to give them as many opportunities for growth as possible. Both the “five-a-day” concept and the “fifteen minutes” approach can help guide us at least. And that goes for child carers too. Parents cannot always do it all, but they can ask that their childcare professional, their nanny for instance, ensures that their child is adequately attended to during the day and that there is plenty of one-to-one interaction. As parents, we cannot always do it all but at least we can try.

Fun Activity Ideas for Children to Do on Mother’s Day!

“A mother is like a flower, each one beautiful and unique.”

With Mother’s Day coming up on Sunday 19th March, we’ve put together some fun activity ideas for children of all ages to create something special.

Continue reading “Fun Activity Ideas for Children to Do on Mother’s Day!”

World Book Day 2023

Engagement with books can start very early, especially if there are pictures. Babies can be encouraged to hold board or cloth books, experiment with turning the page, focus on pictures and listen to simple stories. Toddlers are often able to recite parts of the narrative, turn the page at appropriate moments and point to the pictures. When their language skills are more developed you can talk about the pictures and what they show about the characters and what they’re feeling.

To celebrate World Book Day this post is all about books and imagination.

How can I make story time fun and encourage children to engage with books?

A story sack associated with a book gets children to anticipate what happens next by providing visual cues. For familiar stories this jogs the memory and for new books it encourages them to let their imagination fill in the blanks before you read on.

Many children enjoy the process of learning to read, engaging with letter recognition and decoding, although it can also be frustrating. Keeping children focused on the story and what the words are communicating rather than the shape of the words themselves means reading doesn’t become a chore, but a way of accessing meaning.

Communication and reading together is important long after a child can read unaided. Children learn enthusiasm for suspense, the pleasure of unexpected twists in the tale and how to respond emotionally to stories by talking about them with others. By reading together children can access books which are beyond their reading level but within their intellectual capacity and this extends their language skills.

We don’t have many books

Whether it’s cost or space holding you back, you don’t have to own books to enjoy them. Find out where your nearest library is here (if you live in England) and join up to borrow books for free. If you don’t have a library, see whether anyone in your circle of friends would be interested in book swaps. Toddler groups and activity centres often also have a collection of books so make a beeline for them and make time to sit for five minutes and enjoy a book together. School aged children may be able to borrow books from the school if you have a quiet word with the teacher.

If you find a really great book, keep it in mind for a birthday or Christmas present. It’s worth owning books you will read time and again, even if you have to sacrifice some space to do so. Also it’s not necessarily the number of books that matters as recent research shows reading the same books over and over may in fact be beneficial for toddlers to expand their vocabulary. Even if the same word appears in many different books it may not be picked up as toddlers focus on other details. Familiarity with the story means it’s likely they can pay attention to the vocabulary and absorb it.

What can I do with books that isn’t just reading?

If you feel you lack imagination to move beyond what is written on the page, you aren’t alone. Start by using visual supports, such as puppets, to act out parts of the story or encourage children to incorporate actions such as wading through the grass or splashing in the river in ‘We’re Going On A Bear Hunt’. You can then use the start of the story when playing with the puppets and ask children to continue with their own version or pick up on the actions to create your own hunting story. When playing with toys, suggest that you act out the story together, for example a tea set can easily be used as props to act The Tiger Who Came To Tea.

Stories can be incorporated into art and craft activities too. Children’s own artwork can be used to inspire a story, or books can provide inspiration. Why not use fingerpaint to make a Hungry Caterpillar eating his way through the week? Or if you’re feeling ambitious try it in 3D with papier mâché! How about making a woodland scene using natural materials complete with a Gruffalo or making the animals in their crates from Dear Zoo?

Let your imagination run wild!

Pancake time!

Today is Shrove Tuesday or Mardi Gras, also known as pancake day! It’s the day before the start of Lent, the build up to Easter. Lent was traditionally a time of fasting so all the fat in the house needed to be used up. That’s what gave it the name Mardi (Tuesday) Gras (Fat). It’s also why we make pancakes because the recipe uses up fatty foods like eggs and milk, and sugar too because fasting meant giving up sweet things.

How to make pancakes:

4oz (110g) Flour
2 Eggs
10floz (275ml) Milk

Sift the flour into a large mixing bowl and break the eggs into another bowl or a jug then beat them

Mix the flour and eggs to a smooth paste using a fork of whisk, then slowly add the milk bit by bit whisking constantly. You want to avoid lumps so you need to whisk hard.

Heat a frying pan on a high heat (you want it good and hot) and add a little oil or butter. Use some kitchen paper towel to make sure all the pan is covered in a thin layer of fat and ladle in some batter. Tilt the pan to get the liquid batter to spread evenly and allow it to cook for a minute or so. When you shake the pan slightly a cooked pancake will be loose underneath. Flip it with a spatula or, if you’re brave, toss it to allow the other side to cook.

You can have sweet or savory fillings for your pancakes – here are some ideas:

Smoked salmon
Ham and cheese
Mushrooms
Sugar and lemon juice
Chocolate sauce
Jam
Caramel sauce and chocolate sauce (this is known as a carachoc in France, pronounced ca-ra-shock)
Fresh fruit
Ice cream

Enjoy!

101 fun ideas for half term

If you’re running out of inspiration then have a look at our 101 ideas!

Inside
1. Read stories
2. Make a den under a table
3. Give dolls a bath
4. Wash the dolls clothes
5. Have a teddy tea party
6. Have a tickle fight
7. Play dressing up
8. Dance to the radio
9. Have a film screening
10. Transform a cardboard box
Outside
1. Run races
2. Have a sack race
3. Skip
4. Draw on the drive/patio with chalk
5. Have a water fight, even if it’s raining
6. Play football
7. Go for a scoot or bike ride
8. Eat a picnic
9. Make a daisy chain
10. Jump in puddles
Days out
1. Go on a train to a different town
2. Take a bus to a different park
3. Go to the zoo
4. Take a long walk in the country
5. Visit a ruined castle
6. Go to a museum
7. Visit a farm park
8. Go to soft play
9. Have fun at the seaside
10. Go to a planetarium
In the kitchen
1. Make bread
2. Bake and decorate a cake
3. Build a gingerbread structure
4. Master meringues (egg white + sugar = magic)
5. Make your own butter in a jam jar by shaking whole milk
6. Make jam
7. Ice biscuits
8. Create fruity cocktails
9. Freeze (and eat) your own ice lollies
10. Invent a herb or spice mix or a marinade
Constructing and modelling
1. Make a skyscraper from toothpicks or cocktail sticks and marshmallows
2. Create a Lego or Duplo town
3. Get the railway track out and take over the floor
4. Junk model
5. Create and paint figurines or jewellery from Plaster of Paris
6. Make a marble run
7. Build an outside den
8. Make and sail paper boats
9. Have a competition to build to the tallest tower from a newspaper and roll of sellotape
10. Challenge yourselves with a 3D jigsaw
Messy play
1. Cook rainbow spaghetti
2. Make playdough
3. Play with gloop (cornflour and water)
4. Mix mud pies
5. Blow bubbles
6. Play with jelly
7. Fill a box with shredded paper
8. Make potions, from anything!
9. Play with diggers in a tray of compost
10. Make glittery cloud dough
Painting and drawing
1. Fill eggshells with paint and throw them
2. Paints with forks, spoons and other kitchen utensils
3. Cut fruit and vegetables to make prints
4. Roll cars through paint on paper
5. Be inventive with hand and foot prints
6. Make your own natural paint from spices
7. Make self-portraits
8. Make a cartoon in a flip notebook
9. Play Pictionary
10. Draw blindfolded

Science
1. Put an egg into vinegar and watch the eggshell dissolve
2. Now see what happens when you put an egg into Coca-Cola
3. Experiment with chromatography
4. Grow cress-heads
5. Inflate a balloon by mixing bicarbonate of soda and vinegar in a bottle
6. Go on a nature hunt and identify the plants and bugs you see
7. ‘Rescue’ playmobile figures from a block of ice
8. Grow salt crystals
9. Make a rainbow on a sunny day
10. Experiment with shadows
Crafts
1. Sew a dress for a doll or a quilt for a teddy
2. Weave a table mat on a home made loom
3. Make candles
4. Create a bowl from papier maché
5. Make pom-poms
6. Mix up some bath bombs
7. Learn to knit
8. Make a drop spindle
9. Decorate sock puppets
10. Make a necklace or bracelet by threading beads on ribbon
Around town
1. Have a grown up ‘coffee’ in a café
2. Visit the library
3. Draw a sketch map of the town
4. Go on a treasure hunt
5. Learn about architecture
6. Research your area’s history
7. Learn to read an OS map
8. Take a different route every day
9. Search the town archives or the internet for old photographs and drawings of the town and talk about how it has changed
10. Take photographs and make a guidebook showing all your favourite places

Top Tips to Encourage Physical Activity in Children

Encouraging your child to be more physically active isn’t as hard as it might at first seem. First of all, children are generally full of energy, much more it seems than adults and so all you need to do is guide them into using that energy.

Physical activity is extremely important for children. It helps to build muscles, coordination, and concentration whilst also helping to maintain mental and emotional health.

It’s never too young to begin fostering a love of exercise and activity in children as it can become a habit that helps them to stay healthy and active throughout their entire life.

According to the NHS, young children (under the age of three) need around 3 hours of physical activity each day, with children older needing at least 1 hour per day.

With very young children, simply using things like a baby walker, walking around and playing is good enough, but as children get older, it can feel more challenging, especially as they start to play video games that can lead to long periods of time without movement. That’s why we’ve put together these top tips to help get your children up and active:

Explore the outdoors – Whatever the weather, try to explore the outdoors a few times each week. This can be as simple as visiting the local park or playground, but don’t forget to take advantage of any other outdoor areas around you such as open fields, nature reserves and woodlands to help your child burn their energy. You don’t even have to worry about structured play, so long as it’s safe to do so, let your child roam and explore, they’ll soon wear themselves out whilst benefitting from fresh air and making their own choices.
Meet up with friends – Bringing other children into the mix is a great way to boost energy levels and activity. Arranging a group meetup at the playground, park, swimming baths or soft play centre is a great way of getting your child active and keeping it social. Children are usually more excited to play with others and won’t notice they’re even exercising. It’ll also give you time to socialise with other adults.
Bring it inside – Remember that exercise isn’t limited to outside. There’s plenty that you can do inside whether it’s a dance party, home yoga class, a game of twister or simply doing the housework. They all count as exercise, so get moving.
Join a class or group – How about a swimming class, gymnastics or dance club? Check your local schools, community centres and Facebook groups for classes near you that your child might enjoy. Not only will they stay active, they’ll learn new skills and make new friends.
Set an example – Children often copy what they see, so be a positive role model. Go for walks together, do yoga or an online fitness programme at home, go swimming. Simply being active yourself is often enough to encourage your child to follow suit.

How do you keep your children active? Share your tips and advice in the comments!

Locomotor skills

Over the last 30 years children have spent increased time indoors, and less outside. Time outside is important for physical development because it encourages gross motor skills. Children need wide open spaces and encouragement to run. Jumping and climbing can be learnt in soft play areas but there’s a world of difference between jumping onto a cushioned mat and jumping in the real world, or climbing padded steps or a net and climbing a tree.

So, what do we need to run, jump and climb? Well, these actions require pretty much the same skills, albeit used in separate ways. They need balance, and by doing them more children develop their own balance system. They need core strength, and strong leg muscles (and arms too for climbing). They require spatial awareness on a large scale, and hand/foot-eye coordination.

But these skills aren’t the only things needed to be able to run, jump and climb. They all require courage and perseverance too.

Encourage these all important skills by jumping down from low heights like a step or a tree stump, then moving on to hopping like a frog, a bunny or a kangaroo. Jumping on the flat from standing is trickier – jump over drain covers or into hoops laid on the ground. Once that skills has been mastered you’re ready to jump up onto things. Play hopscotch too, to develop stability and strength.

To encourage running play chase or run races. Children will usually run naturally to keep up with their peers, but if you have a reluctant runner try to meet other children in the park or another open space and help them join in.

Parks often also have frames, nets, or rope ladders to encourage climbing. Help little ones master climbing skills by going up the steps to the slide, pulling themselves up on a platform or hanging on to a scramble net.

How do you develop locomotor skills?

The experience trap

Can’t get a job without experience, can’t get experience without a job? It’s the catch-22 for the new nanny or maternity nurse. Good news is there are things that you can do to get you started and help you become a nanny.
1. Work for free

Okay so it’s not the highly paid job of your dreams but volunteering to help friends or neighbours, or even trying to get in touch with training companies who offer work experience schemes in childcare, will help you get that foot in the door. What’s most important is a reference and there’s always someone who will appreciate an extra pair of hands in return for a reference. This is particularly good for getting experience of newborns or twins and is a short term solution while you look for work.
2. Think outside the box, or country

Au pairing abroad is another way to get experience with children and get paid while doing so. Some families don’t even require any childcare qualifications or experience, but babysitting and voluntary work with children demonstrate your commitment to working with children and will give you a leg up to help you get a job. You can be an au pair for the summer or a full year, so it require a bit more commitment but gives you more experience in return. If you want to go on to be a nanny then look for families with children under 5 as most families will want experience in that age range.

3. Do a course

You can either do the course at college or as an apprentice working in a nursery. If you already have a level 3 qualification consider doing a nanny specific course. Or if you need to work and earn there are plenty of online courses that could help you secure the job you dream of. Check out some of the ones we have suggested here Training for Nannies – Nannyjob