Author: admin

Christmas presents for childcarers

Want to show your childcarer(s) how much you appreciate them but stuck for ideas? About to nip to Tesco to stock up on tins of Roses or bottles of vino? Hold on just a second and read our handy guide to buying something special for those other special people in your child’s life.

The task of buying for nursery staff can be daunting. Most parents opt for a a special something for their child’s keyworker and a joint gift for the staff in the room – a hamper with teas, herbal teas and coffees or some nice handwash and hand cream. They’re probably overflowing with chocolates and wine so think outside the box a little. Individual pamper hampers are a nice personal gift if you don’t have too many people to buy for or  individual cards with a voucher or gift card for an appropriate store will be appreciated too.

‘I didn’t know what to get the staff at nursery so I bought a plant for the staffroom and decorated it with cards and an ornament for each of them to take home’.

 

You’ll probably know a childminder or nanny better and be able to find something to their taste – a good book, tickets to a show or a gadget you know they’ll love. Unless you know that they love a particular type of chocolate or are partial to a nice G&T of an evening, try to avoid chocolate or alcohol based gifts. Equally a photo of your children, while very sweet, is unlikely to make them light up. They love them very much but chances are they have plenty of photos already. Cash always goes down well but it can feel awkward trying to decide an amount if it’s their only present- 1 week’s salary is a good guide for a nanny.

‘I gave my nanny a KitchenAid , which was less than a week’s salary but far more appreciated, and  a lift home so she didn’t need to take it on the tube!’

 

It can be more difficult giving cash to childminders, and if you’re strapped for cash a week is a lot of money, but if you do then make it clear it’s for them to spend on themselves. Sometimes the best gifts combine the practical with the personal – a case for an iPad or a smart hat and gloves set if you notice theirs are looking a big tatty. A token gift that you’ve put a lot of thought into is worth far more than an envelope stuffed with banknotes.

‘Our childminder is a big tea drinker but I know she restricts her cuppas to when my active 2 year old can’t charge into her and knock them over. I got her a spill proof insulated mug which came in handy when he dropped his nap.’

 

For a casual babysitter an extra bit of cash is probably most appreciated, tucked inside a nice card. If you prefer to give a present rather than slip an extra tenner their way then think about their interests or what they’ll find useful- if they’re a student then funky notebooks or pens for use in lectures may brighten up their day.

‘My babysitter is a retired lady who lives a few doors down and has a beautiful garden. We got her a new pair of gardening gloves and some handcream so she can keep up the good work.’

 

If a carer has their own children with them at work you might want to buy a token gift for them as well. This doesn’t need to be expensive but will be very well received by the children and the thought and effort will be appreciated by your carer too.

Whether you give a significant gift or not,  put the effort into making a card with your children – the glitterier and messier the better – and send a card from yourself as well with a note saying how much you appreciate them! That’s a gift that keeps on giving.

The nanny diary: Day 5

This post brings us to the end of our series following a nanny and a mother through the first week of a new job. If you missed the first posts you can find them here: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4. And if you’re interested in writing a guest post or a nanny diary of your own then get in touch!

Nanny:

I felt really nervous all day with the chat looming in the evening.

I had questions of my own:

Do you still want me as your nanny?

Is there anything I did this week you would prefer I did differently? Is there anything I didn’t do?

I’m glad to say they still want me! And no major changes to be made! Which is a huge weight off my mind because nannying is such a personal job that when it doesn’t work out you feel like someone has broken up with you. Three more weeks of the probationary period to go still but a good start. It turns out it wasn’t anything bad at all, she just wanted time to think about real solutions to the stuff I’d raised throughout the week and I get the feeling that’s more her style than giving a quick yes or no answer, which I’m glad I discovered now before I need to ask something really important. Plus we’re probably getting a double pushchair and I’ve got a budget and free reign to choose two to show MB which I think is a really good sign, because if they didn’t want me to stay they wouldn’t be prepared to spend money on something they don’t really want, right?

Overall today was better than yesterday. No tantrums at least and I was super-efficient at getting all the jobs done.  I’m speeding up on the school run and probably getting fitter as a result and learning just how much leeway there is in the routine. It’s amazing how fast things become second nature, although I still need to check the schedule every morning before we start to make sure both boys have what they need for the morning even if I’ve put it ready the evening before.

I checked the calendar for the next month as well to give myself a heads up on anything important and it’s charge number 3’s birthday in two weeks, which brings a whole new load of challenges, not least how her siblings are going to be able to make her a card without her finding out! I’m really enjoying having such a busy job again. It’s a totally different kind of challenge.

Mother:

It’s Friday! And I don’t have piles of laundry! And the bedrooms are clean and tidy! I’m never letting this woman leave. That’s all!

The nanny diary: Day 4

It’s day 4 and things are starting to get a bit tougher as we follow a nanny and a mother through the first week in a new job, but who is feeling the strain? If you’re joining us part way through catch up on day 1, day 2 and day 3 first!

 

Nanny:

So today was the first tantrums from almost everybody. Eldest didn’t want to go to school because they have swimming and he didn’t want to go, which nearly made us late. I couldn’t find the church hall for toddler group, not that it seemed very appropriate for a 6 month old but MB obviously wants me to keep the routine going at least for the time being. People weren’t terribly friendly either when I tried to introduce myself although I met a lovely childminder who told me about a group that lots of nannies go to so I’ll try and bring that up with MB. I never know how soon to suggest introducing new things. On the one hand I think it shows I’m being proactive but on the other hand I don’t want to feel like I’m criticising the way things are at the moment and I know that wanting to go to this group is totally for me at the moment, even though I’ll hopefully meet nannies with charges a similar age to the older ones as well.

Charge number three was having so much fun at nursery she wanted to stay and not come home with me. Youngest didn’t want to go down for a nap so I didn’t get everything I wanted to done in the afternoon. I hope the older girl keeps her nap for a good long time or I’ll be really behind on laundry and cooking. 4 charges feels a lot more work than 3!

Only charge number two didn’t have a full on meltdown but he did get grumpy that we might be late for school and tried to kick his brother. I’m beginning to think I had it easy the first couple of days and now everyone is showing their true colours. I got a bit strict because I want to nip any bad behaviour in the bud so I hope they don’t give me a bad report this evening. It’s really important that some things get done on time and they need to learn that applies to time with me as well. I just didn’t think they’d be testing so soon. It’s also really difficult when you don’t know their personalities well enough to spot when they’re tired or getting annoyed with each other and you can’t step in early enough to prevent ructions. I forgot that part of settling into a job…

I have achy legs again and my upper back is starting to resent the buggy board. 4 school runs today because the eldest had an afterschool activity at school. I might see if we can find something to do that isn’t go home, take shoes off, have a snack and put shoes on again. There must be a park nearby, or possibly going to the library. When the weather turns bad going back out again in the dark and cold is just going to be awful.

Didn’t reply to MB’s text because she sent it just as the girls were waking from their nap and it was all go for bottle, school, back, school, back and I genuinely forgot. She didn’t mention it when she got home so I hope she’s not really annoyed and saving it up to fire me with tomorrow. I hope I didn’t come across as too tensed up either, because to be honest today really wasn’t an ideal day and there are a lot of thing I would like to do better.

Mother:

Today started with an odd question about the boys clothes. I hadn’t realised they had so much stuff the same size but they do definitely have different clothes. It’s bad enough people thinking they’re twins already without them sharing clothes. I obviously don’t deal with unexpected questions in the morning well but by the time I got home she’d taken the initiative and got the boys to help her.

A lot busier so I didn’t have the temptation to call as much but I did fire off a quick text before I managed to stop myself and got no reply which worried me a bit. I could see how hectic the afternoon had been when I got back though so I forgave her. It would be a bit of a pot, kettle, black situation because my husband is forever telling me off for not answering my phone or responding to messages or emails. It’s quite reassuring to see that everything is getting done and that means I should be able to focus 100% on work when I’m there and not worry. It’s a big jump to having a nanny not just the stuff you have to do to become an employer but also the emotions that go with it. I never felt that I would be replaced by a nursery or our childminder but having someone do exactly what I do every day is a bit disconcerting.

The nanny diary: day 3

 

This week we’re following a nanny and mother as they settle in to a new job. Day 1 and Day 2 went well, so how does it go flying solo?

Nanny:

MB left at 7.45 this morning so I had to do everything all by myself. I don’t think anyone went out with visible toothpaste or without something important. School run success.

I sorted some laundry while baby napped this morning and I realised I don’t know which clothes are which for the older boys. We’re going to have find some way of marking them until I learn. Or maybe they just share because they’re the same size? I haven’t dressed them in the morning so that’s something I need to find out but typically I forgot to ask this evening.

I also realised I didn’t ask MB how she felt about messy sensory play. I had sort of planned to do some this morning once youngest charge woke up but everything seems so clean that maybe she doesn’t allow it at home, so we read some stories and rolled a ball around instead.

The afternoon was pretty uneventful and for once there is nothing afterschool, so we played games together in teams – eldest and youngest against the middle two and me by myself. Then the older two played with Lego while I did dinner. I felt a bit bad that MB came in with Lego all over the floor as one of the things she seemed quite keen on was having everything tidied away, but she was home a bit early and I was going to make them clear up.

We went through my list of questions except the clothes, some easy to answer, some not so easy. She’s asked for a chat on Friday which makes me a bit nervous.

Mother

First day back and even though I’m not back fully until Monday I’ve kept 3 KIT days to the end to sort everything out. This means I’m not busy and I have to resist the temptation to call and see how everything is going. I keep bringing up the number and then not pressing call.

Now resisting the temptation to go home early and do a surprise pick up from school. I don’t want to barge in on the first real day. I’m not too sure how to ask how it went either. Part of me wants a really detailed handover detailing how the day went minute by minute and part of me says I have to trust that it was all okay and she’ll tell me if it wasn’t.

So at the end of the day it seems the timings were fine, but there are a whole load of things we never talked about. I’ve suggested we block aside time for a proper chat on Friday for the things I need to think over, like whether we really want to get a double pushchair. I’ve managed without one so far but I suppose we could get a double stroller affair and I take her point that she’s 4 inches shorter than me so the pushchair plus buggy board combo isn’t working and we need to find something that does.

The nanny diary: Day 2

 

If you want to catch up on the happenings of Day 1 of our real life nanny diary which follows a nanny and a mother in the first week of a job just click here

 

 

Nanny:

My legs were killing me this morning and we had even more walking today because there’s a baby class in the centre of town. The upside is I got promised Starbucks and told to make it a weekly thing because there isn’t time to go home in between the school run and class and nowhere to hang out in the middle. Yay!

We went to music class together and then MB left to meet a friend for lunch so I had to walk to nursery, only just making it in time for pick up, and number 3 came along quite happily which was a really good sign. I was a bit worried she would kick off that it was me picking her up but it was fine and she was super well behaved on the way home. I guess because MB doesn’t drive they’re all used to walking and have good road safety sense, or at least as good as a 2 year old can have. She walked part of the time and asked to go on the buggy board when she was tired which I found a bit difficult to push. I might ask MB about getting a cheap double buggy because I think my arms are too short!

I think one job for Monday afternoon is going to be preparing something for Tuesday lunch because time is really tight and we were a bit late today which pushed nap time back and the school run was a rush yesterday. Thankfully they didn’t sleep as long today and when I asked MB she said they often had a long nap Monday afternoon which I’m glad I found out now! I managed a load of laundry and transferred it to the dryer, and prepped dinner and even had a sit down to rest my aching legs before this evening’s charging around. Tuesday is normally going to be an early finish because as long as MB is back I can take the boys to Beavers and go home but today MB just wants me to check back in.

We had a good chat about playdates on the way home. When I asked about them at interview she said she was really happy that it will be possible and she wants me to feel free to arrange things for the children or have people over and then she refused to let the eldest go between school and Beavers tonight but I’m glad we had time together for her to explain where she’s coming from, and it makes sense. Plus it makes my life easier if I can just leave when MB comes home without having to do an activity run!

I really need a hot bath but we don’t have a bathtub so a long, hot shower in going to have to do and an early night. I think I’ll be able to cancel my gym membership at this rate.

Mother:

Today was, I think, a pretty good test day. I hung back a bit in the morning and even managed to put make up on before the school run. We had a quick chat about yesterday when getting coffee in between school and rhyme time and there didn’t seem anything majorly wrong. I managed grown up lunch out with a friend and met up at the school gate just in time to explain the rules on impromptu playdates. We had an activity this evening so it’s fine if it’s planned in advance and they have everything they need in the morning and they can go with a friend but otherwise only on free evenings. I’ve spent 6 months enforcing this rule after we went a bit playdate silly and I really don’t want it broken now.

The first benefit of having a nanny has become clear! Dinner is all prepared and just needs to be reheated and the shepherd’s pie was huge enough for all the family. I asked if it was okay if we ate some too and she seemed a bit embarrassed but said we could. I don’t know what she was embarrassed about because it was great.

The nanny diary: Day 1

This week we’re doing something a little different. A real life series of 5 posts detailing the first 5 days from a nanny and a mother’s perspective!

 

 

Nanny:

My alarm went of at 6.15am this morning and I practically sprinted out of bed into the shower. I needed to be at my new job for 7.30 and I really didn’t want to be late. It turns out that there is very little traffic so I ended up being 20 minutes early and parked my car around the corner and waited. I rang the doorbell 5 minutes early, which felt a little odd knowing that in a couple of hours I’d have keys and probably wouldn’t be ringing the bell every morning!

Everyone was having breakfast when I walked in and MB offered me some toast, but I ate breakfast before I left. It’s good to know I can have breakfast at work. 5 minutes more sleep! Then it was all systems go brushing teeth, putting on coats and shoes and getting out the door to go to school. There are 4 children, 2 at school, 1 doing half days at nursery and 1 at home full time, so there’s a lot to get ready and we’re going to be walking everywhere. Thankfully I have 2 days with MB at home to get all the local routes and shortcuts in my head. MB explains the rules and I’m glad we seem on the same page.

After an hour out and about we’re at home and baby is napping in the pram so we have a cuppa and run through a typical week, MB shows me how all the appliances work and shares her routine for getting the housework that I’ll be taking on done although she says I don’t have to stick to it, and once baby woke up she made a start preparing lunch while I fed baby and played a little game of peekaboo. Soon it was time to head out to nursery and fetch charge number 3. We all ate lunch together and I managed to get spaghetti sauce down my top. Ooops.

This afternoon was my first time alone with the younger two, which they spend napping, and I decided to make a treasure basket as they don’t seem to have one. They woke up just before needed to go to the school run so it was a bit of a rush to prepare a bottle and get ready and leave. I’m not used to leaving this much time for walking so I’m going to have to make a note to watch that especially this week.

After-school was a blur of taking number 1 to a violin lesson, taking number 2 to karate (is there anything cuter than a bunch of 5 year olds doing karate?), picking up number 1, picking up number 2, eating tea, doing homework/reading and getting everyone ready for bed. I feel exhausted and I have no idea how MB has been doing this on her own. Most nights she says she’ll be home by 5 so we’ll sort out the last hour and a half between us but if she has a late meeting I can see myself running in circles.

 

Mother:

Last night I was writing down everything I need to talk about and I didn’t realise how much I do until I was trying to consciously explain while doing it. I’m sure there are things I’ve forgotten to talk about today. I’ve also realised I’m not looking forward to the end of maternity leave and I’m feeling a bit funny about having a nanny because we’ve always used nursery or a childminder but fingers crossed it will make life that much easier.

First day seems to have gone okay. I’m desperately trying not to step in and let her find her own way of doing things. I’m also trying to feel my way through the etiquette of having a nanny. Should she be eating breakfast with the children in the morning? Will she eat dinner with them in the evening? Do I need to justify every parenting move I’ve made or is it all common sense?

I’m reassured that she took the pace of the day in her stride – it’s all go to get to nursery at 8.30, school at 8.45, nursery at 11.30, lunch and naps, school at 3.30 and anything after-school so having someone who can keep to time and get where they need is so important. Tomorrow is the day for letting go!

How to keep your nanny – 10 ways

A while ago we posted a tongue in cheek post ‘How to lose your nanny in 10 days‘. Hopefully you’ve avoided making most of these mistakes and have a happy, settled relationship with your nanny. As the festive season looms (to be followed by that horrid January slump) we thought now might be a good time to look at ways you can keep your nanny happy.

  • Remember that one-off gestures are all well and good but the best way to keep your relationship (be it with your nanny or anyone else in fact) is constantly paying attention to the little things. Respecting your nanny will go a long way to ensuring their happiness and if you don’t have time to click on the link RESPECT stands for Rights, Earnings, Space, Professionalism, Expenses, Choices and Time. It’s worth just repeating that last one – your nanny’s finish time is the time they should be walking out the door, not the time you walk in. If you find yourself being persistently late then consider extending your nanny’s hours and paying for that time.
  • Make allowances, because your nanny is a person too, for the occasional late start (whether it’s a public transport mishap or a sleepy alarm clock) or off day. Allowing them to go early on occasion will make them a lot more tolerant of your occasional lateness (be it public transport or a meeting that overruns).  An unscheduled early finish rates pretty highly among the various perks nannies get, by the way! In the same vein appreciate the restrictions your nanny has on their time and let them run personal errands during work hours occasionally.
  • Get them a takeaway when they babysit, and if you have a netflix account or similar encourage them to use it. Or if they prefer to cook for themselves leave a bit of extra cash so they can pick up some special ingredients and have a nice meal.
  • Don’t skimp on sick pay if you can afford it. The odd bug happens to everyone and it’s doubly unfair for a nanny to have an unpaid sick day because they’re throwing up as a result of your little darlings’ generosity with their germs.
  • Let them use the stuff in your house. If you have a Kenwood Chef or a KitchenAid stand mixer and an enthusiastic baker for a nanny who’s planning to make her best friend’s birthday cake with a hand held beater from Tesco then let her use your kitchen one day. If their washing machine breaks down then instead of letting them trek to the launderette put your washing machine temporarily at their disposal. It might bump up your bills a bit but it’ll bump up goodwill even more.
  • Invite your nanny as a guest to significant events for the children like birthdays and christenings, unless you want them to work in which case pay them overtime. Chances are they won’t come but most nannies will appreciate that you think of them as part of the family.
  • Remember them on their birthday and at Christmas (or equivalent major religious festival that you or they celebrate). You don’t need to give an extravagant gift or a month’s salary as a bonus to show your appreciate them and all the work they do. Something small and personal with a voucher for their favourite store will probably go down well. Photographs of your children in expensive frames, while lovely to look at, aren’t a winner unless it’s a leaving gift.
  • Review their performance and their pay once a year. If you can’t afford a pay rise then try and show them you appreciate their work in another way, or give them some extra holiday as a reward for staying with the family. The very least you can do is point out what a great job they’ve done through the year and all the times you’ve noticed and appreciated them going the extra mile. 
  • Recommend them if they want extra babysitting and you know someone who wants a sitter. If your nanny doesn’t want to babysit then point your friend in the direction of our free babysitting section!
  • Finally…. Say thank you. Every day. Without fail.

Nannies and pregnancy

Over on our Facebook page  we’re always happy to post queries on behalf of nannies wanting other readers to share their experiences. Recently one nanny contacted us with the happy news that she was pregnant, wanting advice on how to tell her employers and what her rights were. As a nanny getting pregnant isn’t an uncommon situation but one which can be complicated for employer and nanny alike we’ve put together a handy at-a-glance post covering the main issues for a pregnant nanny.

When do I have to tell my employers?

The law says employees, which includes most nannies, must inform their employer about their pregnancy by the 15th week before their expected due date, which is 25 weeks pregnant. Your midwife will give you a form, known as a MATB1, to give to your employers around 20 weeks.

In reality many nannies choose to tell their boss earlier, often after the 12 week scan. Some choose to tell their employers almost as soon as they find out because they have a very close relationship. In this case you will need a letter from your doctor or midwife as proof of pregnancy.

Choosing to tell your employers earlier means they can carry out a risk assesment on your job sooner, you invoke your right to paid time off for ante-natal care and you have protection from dismissal due to pregnancy related illness (which may be important if you suffer from hyperemesis gravida or SPD/pelvic pain).

What does a risk assessment for a pregnant nanny involve?

As a nanny’s job is so varied it’s impossible to give specifics here, but as an example an employer of a pregnant nanny may need to consider the impact of lifting a baby or toddler, the likelihood of contact with infectious diseases

Can I keep working during my pregnancy?

Yes, nannies can keep working as long as they want or are able to. Your employer has a duty of care towards you, which includes making reasonable adjustments to your job to allow for your pregnancy.

When can I go on maternity leave?

You can start your maternity leave any time after the 29th week of pregnancy. The live birth of your baby at any point in pregnancy will also trigger the start of maternity leave, as will a stillbirth after the 24th week of pregnancy or pregnancy related sickness after the 36th week of pregnancy.

Will I be paid on maternity leave?

As an employee nannies are entitled to 6 weeks at 90% of full pay, and 33 weeks at the current rate of Statutory Maternity Pay or 90% of their average weekly salary during the qualifying period, whichever is the lower figure providing they have worked for the family for 26 weeks before the 25th week of pregnancy. Nanny employers usually count as small employers for tax purposes and can reclaim 100% of the amount paid to the nanny plus a small percentage to cover the employer’s NICs.

If you don’t qualify for SMP you can claim Maternity Allowance. Your employer should notify you of this by giving you form SMP1.

Where you have two or more jobs you are entitled to receive SMP for each job where you qualify to receive SMP. In this case you’ll need to submit a copy of your MATB1 form to each employer.

How much maternity leave do I get?

Nannies are entitled to 26 weeks Ordinary Maternity Leave and 26 weeks Additional Maternity Leave, a total of 52 weeks. You can choose to take less, but must take at least 2 weeks after the birth. When you start your maternity leave you should inform your employer of your expected return date, and you can change this at any point with 8 weeks notice.

What happens to my holiday?

You continue to accrue holiday while on maternity leave, so if you take a year of maternity leave you can take that time at the end of your maternity leave.

Can I work during my maternity leave?

You cannot take on any new employment during your maternity leave and still receive SMP but you can do up to 10 Keeping In Touch days with your employer without losing your right to SMP.

Do my employers have to keep my job open for me?

You have the right to return to your job under the same terms and conditions after Ordinary Maternity Leave. If you take Additional Maternity Leave then your employer must offer you your old job or a similar job with the same (or better) terms and conditions.

Can I be made redundant because I am pregnant?

An employer cannot make their nanny redundant because they are pregnant. That would be discrimination. However a nanny’s maternity leave may cause employers to substantially change their childcare arrangements, resulting in redundancy (for example deciding to use a childminder or after-school club).

If your job has changed slightly, e.g. it has become a part time job, then you have the right to be offered this job ahead of anyone else.

Do I have the right to bring my child to work?

No, a nanny does not have the right to bring their child to work but this can be negotiated with employers.

What happens if I’m in a nanny share and want to return to work with my child?

In a nanny share a nanny cares for the children from two families at the same time. The nanny’s child would count as a third family and this would mean registering as a childminder under the Children’s Act 1989.

References

When employing a nanny it’s vitally important to take up references and most nannies request a written reference at the end of a position. Ex-nanny employers should expect to be contacted by parents even 10 years down the line, as for some nannies this might still be within the ‘most recent’ referees.

A written reference for a nanny should confirm the dates of employment and duties as a bare minimum. It’s also nice to include anything the nanny did particularly well and give concrete examples of how they performed their duties. Comments on reliability and timekeeping, ability to deal with emergencies and the nanny’s general attitude towards the children and the job provide a good starting point for anyone checking the reference verbally. Written references need to be neutral, sticking to very basic factual information, or positive. It’s not against the law to give a ‘bad’ reference (although we would recommend that anyone who feels they can’t give a broadly positive reference seeks individual legal advice) but a written reference is not the place to raise any disciplinary issues.

An ex-employer is obliged to give an honest and fair reference. Essentially this means not holding back information where you can prove what you’re saying. If someone asks whether there were ever any issues raised with the nanny or whether any disciplinary action was taken a fair reference must respond truthfully. It’s intended to be fair to the employee and the future employer after all.

Disciplinary action is an easy question to answer, and a reason why it’s important to keep records of formal warnings. If there was no disciplinary action then no need to worry! Broader performance management is a finer line. It’s expected that at the beginning nannies will be given feedback, and unless the nanny didn’t respond to that it would be unfair to mention it in a future reference. A reference shouldn’t mention anything a nanny hasn’t been given an opportunity to correct, so if a nanny was consistently late but there was no conservation about lateness then a nanny could easily argue they weren’t able to act on this and improve their timekeeping.

Most previous employers will give an unreservedly glowing reference, focusing on the quality of the nanny’s relationship with the children, and that’s a really good sign of a great nanny because it shows a lasting positive impact. Their tone of voice and willingness to answer questions will say a lot about how genuine their feelings are, and that’s one reason why it’s important to follow up written or email references with a phone call. A final test for a reference is to ask whether in the same situation they would employ the nanny again. It goes without saying that you’d expect the answer there to be a ‘yes’.

Parent v Nanny

Today we’ve got a special guest blog from Tanya, talking about her transition from being a nanny to motherhood.

 

I qualified as a nursery nurse over 15 years ago. Since then I have worked with children of all ages from 3 months up to 12 years both in educational settings and as a Nanny.

In October 2009 I found out I was expecting our first child. At that time I had been with my current family for 4 years, caring for 2 children.

I felt pretty well equipped for once baby came home etc. but was fairly nervous about the actual delivery! Fear of the unknown I suppose.

I was lucky enough to be given ante-natal classes as a gift from my employers. My husband and I were keen to meet people at the same stage as we were and learn a bit more about the imminent delivery! The people we met at class gave us a great support network for once baby arrived. The classes also provided good information about the weeks ahead and of course the all important delivery!

Lily arrived a week early. An easy pregnancy ended with a slightly less easy delivery. Once she did arrive emotions were definitely altered forever.

The obvious main difference in being a parent is ultimately your decision is final, which sometimes feels very daunting.

In my role as a nanny I work with parents and discuss ideas to improve or manage various situations or scenarios. I’m not the type of nanny who expects the parents to do everything my way but work more as a team to get better results.

As a parent you are more aware of making decisions and how this will affect your lives. I think having a newborn and the tiredness and emotions that go along with this made it much harder to work through phases.

As a nanny I also had fairly fixed ideas of how I was going to ‘manage’ my new baby. Due to various reasons this didn’t happen and I did feel under extra pressure to do the ‘right’ thing. Ultimately the ‘right’ thing is that you feel comfortable in your daily decisions and that you and baby are happy and settled.

Outside pressure also affected me a lot. I was lucky to have lots of friends who work in childcare or who have their own children (or both!). Obviously everyone likes to help and support a friend and advice was always welcome. However they all had their own words of wisdom. At the time I felt I should take every point if view on board rather than do what was best for us as a family.

Having a ‘difficult’ baby isn’t easy and even my years of training didn’t prepare me for the constant demands of being a mummy. Of course I would never change being a mummy but there is definitely something to be said for clocking on and off as a nanny!

As Lily has got older she has become a very lively, funny and inquisitive girl. She likes to push boundaries and has a very strong sense of being her own person. Of course as a nanny working through the terrible twos and potty training is just part of the job. As a parent it’s non stop – no finishing at 6pm, having to be on top of a situation 100% of the time and multitasking household chores. You forget as a nanny you are there just for the children and that’s what you are paid to do so anything extra gets put to one side.

As a working mum, I still nanny part time with Lily coming along too. Time can seem limited but we try to do things together everyday and Lily gets to do a variety of activities. Consistency is key and we try hard to keep the rules the same regardless of if we are at home, at work, or just out and about. She’s not perfect but she’s 3 and spirited.

For me being a mum is a much harder job than being a nanny but I’m sure this isn’t the case for everyone!