Babysitting

We all remember having a babysitter at some point in our childhoods. Usually a babysitter was a trusted family friend, or a familiar and responsible neighbourhood teen.

Babysitting can be undertaken by anybody, qualified or not. There is no legal lower age limit for babysitting, however the NSPCC recommend that any babysitter should be over the age of 16.

Babysitting is somewhat of a hybrid job, somewhere between nannying and childminding. The babysitting usually occurs in the child’s home, but babysitters aren’t generally required for the same long hours as a nanny would be. Babysitting usually entails just a few hours at a time, often in the evening when the children are already in bed.

Babysitting is usually thought of as an odd job for a teenager or older sibling, but it can be a great way to make extra money on top of your normal job. Many childminders and nursery nurses offer babysitting services for evenings and weekends. Babysitting is a good way to top up your earnings, as the money is normally rather good.

So, what do you need to do in order to make good money as a babysitter?

Babysitting Courses

There are many courses available nowadays that will give you the basic skills you need to be a good babysitter. These courses usually teach basic first aid, child development, early childhood education and the importance of play. Of course, these things can be learnt elsewhere – and many babysitters don’t have any formal qualifications – but it is reassuring to parents if you can show them proof of your skills.

First Aid

It is very wise for anybody to have up-to-date, basic first aid knowledge – especially those of us who spend any amount of time looking after children. However, to ensure that the children in your care are as safe as possible – and to give you the edge over other babysitters – it is advisable to undertake an in-depth first aid course, with a focus on first aid for babies and young children (assuming that’s the age group you’ll be working with).

Own Transport

This isn’t essential for all babysitting jobs, but it may come in very useful. You can’t always rely on the parents to drop you home when you are finished, and you may finish too late in the evening for public transport (depending on where you live, of course). Make sure you always have spare change for a taxi, should you need one.

Set Rates

When applying for babysitting jobs, you should be able to give the family a quote for your services. It is perfectly acceptable to charge more for evening, weekend and bank holiday babysitting, as they are considered to be unsociable hours. It is also worth considering working ‘special’ nights such as New Years Eve, when babysitters are traditionally paid a lot more than usual.

A Contract

If you regular babysit for a family and it is more of a job as they expect you to cook a meal, do homework or bath and put the children to be it may be wise to have a contract in place.

Also, don’t forget that you may need to complete a tax return if you are babysitting regularly and earning a certain amount of money. You should seek further advice from HMRC if you are unsure.

Private Tutor 101

What is a private tutor?

A private tutor is a highly knowledgeable, usually somewhat qualified individual who teaches students privately to help them develop their knowledge of certain subjects. Tutoring can be a fulfilling and very lucrative part-time job – or even full time, if you gain enough students.

Who would hire a private tutor?

Private tutors teach tutees of all age groups, from very young children to mature adults. There are a huge number of reasons why someone might hire a private tutor – private tutoring is popular with many different people. They may be:

A teenager wanting to improve on a certain subject that they are struggling with for their GCSE’s
Parents of a home educated child, who feel that their own knowledge or teaching skills in some subjects is lacking
A mature student (or indeed any student) who feels the need to ‘bulk up’ their learning outside of school hours
Anybody who feels they need a more tailored approach to education than a school environment can offer

How much will a private tutor cost?

Depending on the subject and level of education, you can expect to pay somewhere between £20-£35 per hour for private tutoring. However, many trainee teachers will offer their services as a private tutor for much less than this as a way to hone their teaching skills further. If the private tutor will have to travel, it is generally expected that the tutee will pay their travel expenses.

I want to become a private tutor. What qualifications do I need?

You will need to have an excellent level of knowledge in the subject you wish to teach, plus the ability to tailor your teaching techniques to your student. Excellent interpersonal skills are of a very high priority. It is not necessary to have a teaching qualification, however your level of formal qualification will dictate how much you can charge. PGCE graduates will be able to charge more than those who haven’t qualified yet, just as experienced teachers will be able to charge more than NQT’s (Newly Qualified Teachers)

How can I find work as a private tutor?

You can advertise your services anywhere you wish – local papers, shop windows and billboards are popular choices. However, arguably the best way to advertise is through specialist agencies. These of course will charge a fee but many feel that it is a small price to pay to ensure your ad reaches those who want to see it. Many private tutors find work solely through word-of-mouth recommendations, so do a good job and you may find your tutees spread the word!

Is there anything else I need to know?

As a private tutor you will be self-employed, so you will need to deal with your own income tax and National Insurance contributions. Also, it would be very beneficial for you to obtain an enhanced CRB (Criminal Records Bureau) check. At the present time it is not possible for individuals to obtain these, so signing up with an agency for private tutors would be a good idea.

A Career As A Nanny, Is It For You?

What is a nanny?

A nanny is a professional childcare provider. A nanny works in a similar way to a childminder, with the difference that she will work in the client’s home rather than in her own home.

What does a nanny do?

Many people are under the assumption that being a nanny is easy. They think that it’s simply a case of playing with somebody else’s children all day. Well, there is playing involved, but there’s a lot more to it than that.

A nanny will usually work long hours, and will spend the majority of her time ferrying children around to various activities, doing the school run, preparing meals and tidying up after the children. As a nanny, you will earn a reasonably good wage but you will not usually get very much time off.

Being a nanny is hard graft. You will need to have excellent interpersonal skills and a high level of patience. As well as looking after the children, you will likely be responsible for some housekeeping too – the level of which should be negotiated when drawing up your contract.

However, the rewards are not just monetary. Being a nanny can be an incredibly enjoyable and rewarding job for somebody who loves taking care of children. It is a very important job – the children you care for will remember you for the rest of their lives. You will be the person who is mostly responsible for their day-to-day care, therefore the bond you will forge with them will be strong.

Why a nanny?

All kinds of families hire nannies, but the majority of families that do are busy, full-time working parents. They choose nannies because they are the most convenient solution to their childcare needs. They often start work early and finish late, so they need a childcare provider who will either be on-site (most nannies are live-in nannies) or who will come to the house to work. They haven’t got the time to be dropping off and picking up their children from nursery or from a childminders home.

Additionally, many parents prefer to use a nanny because it can be beneficial emotionally for the children. It is vitally important that children are able to form strong attachments with their carers in their early years. A nanny often becomes like a much-loved relative, or even a third parent. This kind of bond is very important and this may well be the parents’ motivation for choosing a nanny.

What qualifications do I need to be a nanny?

Although you do not technically need any qualifications to be a nanny, employers will be looking for proof of your skills. The N.N.E.B Diploma is widely recognised and, up until recently, was considered to be the only nanny qualification that was necessary. Now, there are many courses you can attend to gain skills, but an N.N.E.B Diploma is what employers will be looking for.

However, many experienced and brilliant nannies will have no formal qualifications. They will have excellent references, though, and many years of experience under their belts.

You will also need to provide an enhanced disclosure to be able to work as a nanny in the UK, and at least a basic first aid certificate.

Please note – for the purpose of this article I have referred to nannies as female. However, there are male nannies out there, but they are not as common as female nannies.

Childcare: Which Provider is Right for You?

Childcare is something that nearly all parents will have to consider at some stage. Nowadays, most parents need to work at least part-time, or they may choose to work. Even those that are full time stay-at-home parents will probably need to utilise the services of a childcare provider at some point during their children’s lives.

There are lots of options available to choose from when it comes to childcare. In this article, we will go over the commonly available childcare providers in the hope that we will make a sometimes-difficult (and often emotional) decision a little easier.

Childminders

Childminders are self-employed childcare professionals who look after children in their own homes, from very young babies to pre-teens. They are usually able to provide flexible hours, and are sometimes able to pick up and drop off children, which can make life a little easier for a busy working parent. Childminder rates across the country vary, but the average is £3.84 per child per hour. The benefits of using a childminder are many, especially for the child who will usually find it easier to settle in than they would at a nursery.

Nurseries

Nurseries provide childcare to many children at once. They generally accept children from a few weeks old, until the age of four. The children are usually cared for in large groups, with the babies being kept separately from the older ones. Many parents prefer to have a childminder or nanny to provide childcare for their little ones because the busy environment of a nursery can be too much for a baby or toddler. However, some children thrive on the stimulating and structured environment of a nursery – it all depends on the child’s individual temperament. Nursery fees vary, but for a child under two it can cost £177 per week for a full-time place – even more in inner London.

Nannies

Nannies provide childcare in the child’s home, and usually live on-site. You would be the nanny’s employer, and therefore would be responsible for paying her tax and NI contributions. Nannies are a popular childcare choice with parents who both work long hours. They are generally the most expensive childcare provider, with their take-home wages ranging from £280-£380 per week. Many parents see this as a small price to pay to have their childcare provider on site, available for unsociable hours if she is needed (although her hours will need to be agreed upon in advance and contracted). There is also an emotional benefit to the children, who will be looked after by the same person each day in a familiar environment.

Au Pairs

Au pairs are usually the cheapest childcare option, as they don’t generally charge a real wage. They will live in your home, so you will be required to feed them and house them, as well as paying them pocket money of a minimum of £65 per week if they are working 25 hours. Au pairs come from other European countries, and come to the UK on au pair schemes to improve their English whilst doing some babysitting to earn money. They will also usually do some housekeeping. Au pairs should be treated as part of the family rather than an employee, and they shouldn’t be required to work the same long hours of a nanny because they need time to study.

Jobs in Childcare

Childcare refers to supervising or caring for children under the age of eight years. It is also called early childhood education or early years education due to an increased awareness of the impact of early experiences of a child on his or her psychological development. With governments spending more on creating early childhood workforce to improve the quality of support young children receive; a lot of jobs in childcare are opening up.

Jobs in childcare are diverse and offer different roles and working environments. On a broader level, jobs in childcare can be divided into two categories – home-based care such as nannies and family care and centre-based care such as day-care and preschool.

Different levels of qualifications are needed to work at various stages of career in early years and there is a range of training and education available to help you qualify and pursue part-time or full-time jobs in childcare.

The Children’s Workforce Development Council regulates the statutory framework and qualifications norms required for various jobs in childcare in United Kingdom. Training starts from Foundation Level (also called Level 1) to Foundation Degree (Level 5). Level 6 is the gold standard for people working with children and is called EYPS or Early Years Professional Status.

Working with children can be a rewarding one but almost all jobs in childcare demand high energy levels. While it is fun playing with young children, you need to take your job seriously. You must always keep in mind that their parents have entrusted them to you and you are responsible for their safety and well-being.

Work as a Nanny

Becoming a nanny can be a satisfying career and it lets you contribute to a child’s learning and development. The responsibilities of a nanny may vary from one household to another depending on how you negotiate with the child’s parents but the basics remain the same. Normally you are expected to provide care for the child, mentally stimulate them by playing and reinforce appropriate discipline. You may also be required to cloth them, prepare meals and do the laundry.

Although nannies are largely female, male nannies or mannies are also not uncommon. These jobs can be part-time or full-time or on a live-in or live-out basis. Many parents and nanny placement agencies prefer you to have a professional childcare qualification such as Level 3 Diploma for jobs in childcare as defined by Children’s Workforce Development Council.

Work as a Childminder

The roles and responsibilities a childminder are similar to a nanny except that they work in their homes instead of the child’s home. They must have a professional qualification recognised by the local authority and must hold a paediatric first-aid certificate. They must register themselves with OFSTED or the Office for Standards in Education, Children’s Services and Skills. A childminder can only take care of a maximum of six children.

Work in Playgroups or Pre-schools

Pre-schools provide early education to children aged two to five years. They primarily focus on building social and educational skills in children through play and play-based activities. Pre-school education improves the confidence in the young children and helps them adapt faster to a school environment. This segment offers the most number of jobs in childcare.

Playgroups generally operate for about two to three hours during school term time. Playleaders or the people who take care of children in preschools are required to have at least a Level 3 qualification as defined for jobs in childcare by Children’s Workforce Development Council.

Work in Nurseries

Nurseries may operate as voluntary or community organisations or private business or as a part of a school. They vary greatly in size, handling about 15 children to around 100 children. There is greater emphasis on educational play and child development than childcare alone.

Normally you can join a nursery as a trainee nursery assistant without a childcare qualification but to progress further in the career you need a minimum Level 3 qualification. With adequate experience and proper qualifications, you can move up to become a qualified nursery assistant, supervisor and finally a manager of the nursery.

The Manny Poppins Phenomenon

Childcare is no more a career for the girls. Male nannies or mannies, as they are known, are increasingly invading what can almost exclusively be considered as a female turf. Working mothers are increasingly open to the idea of hiring mannies rather than nannies.

According to a survey, eight of ten parents replied that hiring a manny is more acceptable today than it was ten years ago. 94 percent of respondents said they would surely consider hiring a manny to take care of their children. And about 20 percent said someone they knew actually had a manny.

According to an October 2009 survey by Children’s Workforce Development Council, mannies form a miniscule 1 percent of over 30,000 registered nannies working in England. Though this number is small, what is worth noting is that more males are looking at childcare as a long term career option and have a strong commitment towards working with children.

Another trend in nanny business is mushrooming of agencies specialising in male nannies. Though there is a societal prejudice over males entering childminding business, the manny population is on a steady rise.

Some celebrities like Britney Spears, Jemima Khan and Gwyneth Paltrow are among those who hired the services of a manny and certainly had the media talk about it but there is also a general surge in the public interest about manny services. So why is there a sudden interest in manny poppins phenomenon?

Matthew Black, who has been in manny business for eight years, said that the threat of an attractive female spending so much time in the house is an issue to working mothers. Male nannies, on the other hand, do not offer any titillation to fathers and do not stoke the natural female insecurity, jealousy and suspicion in anxious mothers.

Mothers are also happy that their boys are at more ease with a manny than a nanny. Mannies do not mind to go out, get a little dirty and play with the kids a lot more than nannies who just tolerate the boys. Young boys relate to their female nannies as an extension of their mom rather than simply a girl. But with a manny, it’s different. He is like their elder brother and the kids tend to be completely at ease with him.

“The attitudes are really changing. Earlier when someone hears the words male nanny, the first thing that would probably come to their mind is paedophilia. Such popular anxiety is lessening and now people view a manny with more respect and admiration. The bottom line is, man or woman, anyone can do anything to your kid. To think that only men can be sexual predators and female nannies are safe can give you a false sense of security but this is not true,” Black said.

He has a point. The idea that male nannies might be a sexual threat to children is overblown. A 1988 study by Crimes Against Children Research Centre at New Hampshire found that women are more likely to abuse children at daycares than males. Another 1995 academic research paper found that 23 percent of female sexual abusers were babysitters and 8 percent were teachers, only 8 percent of the male sexual abusers were babysitters and none were teachers. A 1997 BBC report found that 86 percent of sexual- abuse victims were not believed when they complained that their abusers were actually women.

Male nannies realise that they are entering what is traditionally a female bastion and hence put a lot more effort than nannies in doing their job. They usually have more education and experience and hence a more verifiable history than nannies. The natural hesitation over male nannies also drives agencies to conduct a more thorough background check and ensures only the most qualified come out on the top.

Homework: For and Against

A couple of weeks ago during an interview on BBC Radio 5 Live with his wife Ruth Lansford, the broadcaster Eamonn Holmes said that he absolutely “hated” homework. Ruth didn’t offer her opinion, but you sensed she didn’t think homework was such a bad thing. The radio presenter laughed along with Eamonn’s rant and pointed out to him that supplementary work at home was thought to be a good thing for children, but his words fell on deaf ears. Eamonn argued that homework put even more pressure on parents. They arrived home from a busy day only to have to sit down and help their kids with homework that more often than not, they were unable to do themselves. Here, his wife Ruth agreed, she was useless at maths and Eamonn couldn’t get his head around geography! Homework, said Eamonn, “should be banned”.

The benefits
So where do you stand on the homework debate? It is said that supplementing school work reinforces what has been learnt during the school day. And how well children perform at homework does, to a large extent, depend on parental support. In households where parents are disinterested in homework or school in general, children are less likely to complete the tasks expected of them or to score very highly. Parental backing is crucial then if the lessons taught at school are to be drilled home at home.

Parents have pressure enough
These days, with more and more parents working, it does become difficult to set aside time for homework. It can feel like an additional chore, to echo Mr Holmes’ remarks. Anne-Marie, mother to Zara, 9 and Rory, 7, says that “It takes me all I can do to get a meal on the table when I get in from work, never mind finding the time to get homework done”. Often children have to be cajoled into doing the work having already spent the day at school. She adds: “We find it another stress: arguing with the kids that it has to be done and arguing with each other [her partner] about whose turn it is to do it”. Her sentiments will resonate with parents in a similar situation. Although you encourage your child to do well at school, homework becomes more work for you at home.

Time out
Others argue that children spend enough time at school; after school is for playing sports or participating in other activities or simply just hanging out with their friends. One parent we spoke to felt that children at least ought to be given a break from homework at weekends. Of course, older children with exams on the horizon will need to do homework to supplement school projects and for revision purposes. But perhaps children of primary school age should be allowed free time once school is out.

For and Against
From a purely academic point of view, it is said that giving primary school children homework can help develop good study habits and foster positive attitudes to schoolwork. It may also improve their academic achievement. The difference in test scores and grades between students who do more homework and those who do less increases as students move up in years. However, as one of the parents we surveyed said “They [children] will know all about the world of work in adulthood. Homework just prolongs the school day”. In conclusion then, if school days are to be the happiest of their lives maybe it’s not wise to pile on the homework!

Pink Princesses and Mucky Boys

Which one are you?
Perhaps you’re one of those parents (is it mostly mums?) who encourage their little girl to dress up as a princess or a fairy; nowadays it’s not unusual to see girls wearing these kinds of costumes, particularly at Birthday parties and other celebrations. Or perhaps you’re a parent who has decided to take a stand of sorts. You’re determined to see to it that your little girl isn’t given a princess dress and you encourage her to muck about and play with trucks as well as dolls; you say you don’t want her becoming too much of a “girlie” girl. This approach to bringing up girls might not influence their behaviour as much as you think. Recent research indicates that traditional stereotypes of what it is to be a girl or a boy are deeply ingrained in our culture.

This article takes a closer look at this study, undertaken in Ireland, and concludes by suggesting how parents and childcarers can help children pursue interests they enjoy regardless of whether they are considered “girls” or “boys” activities. First, let’s look at the lengths a Canadian couple has gone to in order to ensure that their new baby is “free” to behave as s/he wishes, unconstrained by society’s expectations of how s/he ought to be.

A “gender-free” baby
In May this year, a couple from Canada decided not to reveal their newborn’s gender to anyone, including the grandparents. They said they wished for their child, Storm, to choose who and what s/he wanted to be. Their decision, they said, was “a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm’s lifetime (a more progressive place?).” A step too far? Many of us probably think so. However, while it does seem far-fetched that a baby could be influenced by gender stereotypes, a recent Irish study indicates that girls and boys have well-established ideas about what is suitable behaviour for their sex and that this starts well before the age of nine “probably in the cradle”.

Gender identity
Traditional stereotypes of boys playing football and girls wearing princess dresses are as pervasive as ever, according to research into Ireland’s nine-year old population. In general, the boys who were interviewed explained how other boys “played football and rugby” while girls “did ballet”. Only boys said they wanted to be chefs and footballers, and only girls wanted to be hairdressers and nurses. Even though the research was carried out in Ireland, we can assume that children in the UK have similar attitudes, given that our cultures are so alike.

And while the study’s authors acknowledge that biology plays a part in influencing girls and boys activities, with boys being physically stronger than girls, “biology does not explain a disposition to like pink and to be able to manage a Hoover [a vacuum cleaner]. It doesn’t explain why boys see school as more for girls and why all boys seem to feel obliged to be fanatical about football.”

Social and cultural influences
Influences such as fashion and television as well as attitudes of their parents/elders are no doubt responsible for children’s concepts of gender. The way in which women and men are portrayed by our consumer culture makes it difficult for parents – and by implication, their children – to avoid stereotyping. When babies are first born they are met by a parade of pink or a barrage of blue. And it continues thus. While we may consider ourselves liberated from antiquated notions of what a woman or a man “is” or “does”, traditional stereotypes still hold sway as the Irish study highlights.

Does it matter?
What are the implications for our children now and in the future? When one considers that figures for the UK as well as Ireland show that girls’ participation rates in sport falls well short of boys’ and that girls outperform boys in education then findings such as these give cause for some concern.

How can we help?
While it is not possible for us as parents and childcarers to change the one-dimensional versions of female and male proffered by our consumer culture, we can do our best not to impose limits on children as to what they can or cannot do. This involves giving your girls the option of playing with toys or participating in activities that are usually associated with boys and vice versa. As the co-director of the Irish study, Prof. Sheila Greene puts it, “When stereotypes are given full rein, children’s choices and their freedom to be the person they want to be can be curtailed.” We may not go so far as to hide the gender of our children, but we can help our children explore every aspect of themselves regardless of gender.

Mums At Work

Mums at Work

We hear a lot in the media these days about put upon working mums and the pressures they face, even in 2011, trying to combine a career with raising a family. Allison Pearson’s 2002 novel “I Don’t Know How She Does It” about a harassed working mother has now been made into a film starring Sarah Jessica Parker. A decade on, Pearson’s portrayal of a professional woman multi-tasking and tying to juggle family life with a career is still relevant. Let’s examine some of the issues facing working mothers in particular and see what needs to change.

“Having it all”

We’ve written before about the American study that deems “having it all” impossible. Its findings show that the so-called “supermoms” who try to be fantastic at work and at home put themselves under too much pressure and are more likely to succumb to depression. By comparison, those working mums who are more “realistic” and recognise that they cannot do it all fare much better.

In the opening scene of “I Don’t Know How She Does It” the protagonist, Kate Reddy, is in the kitchen furiously bashing shop-bought mince pies in an attempt to make them look homemade. It’s a very funny scene but it also pinpoints the societal pressure on women to work both the domestic and the professional. Hopefully, ten years on, most women have learned to accept that they can’t do it all. Outsourcing the household chores as much as is financially possible as well as educating one’s partner to see childcare as a shared responsibility goes some way towards helping ease the burden. Allowing a certain amount to slide is also an option! We can neither have it all nor do it all.

Staying put

In the trailer for “I Don’t Know How She Does It”, SJP’s character manically makes lists, rushing from the office to home while a neighbour tells her she and her kids “just fooled about in the park today”. When the pressures of juggling work with running a household and looking after the family seem overwhelming, it’s tempting to think that staying at home would be a doddle by comparison. But research shows again and again that work is good for women. Jamie Oliver, quoted in The Sunday Times Magazine at the weekend says that as he sees it, the women “that are most happy are the two- to three-dayers. I see both models of mum [those that work and those that stay at home] and definitely the ones that remain engaged, vivacious, humorous, have got the mechanism of work in their lives”. So according to Jamie, and others, there is a middle way.

Making it work

The fact is most women nowadays want to go out to work as well as have a family. Many have to in order to pay the bills. Excellent childcare is a must and NannyJob can help you in your quest to find the right nanny. If you wish to share a nanny and cut down on your childcare costs then that’s also an option.

And while it’s true that a good nanny will definitely lighten the working mum’s load, other things come into play too. A recent discussion on Radio 4’s “Women’s Hour” suggested that men were at the heart of any change in working practices amongst women. Having your partner share in household duties as well as getting them to share pick-ups and drop-offs will help. In the debate about rising childcare costs, we most often hear about women quitting their jobs because their take home pay after childcare means “it’s just not worth it”. Surely the childcare costs should be deducted from the parents’ joint income? Childcare needs to become the domain of men as well as women. And of course it’s not going to be perfect. Your partner may not do things exactly as you do; however, once again, being realistic is most important. With your partner’s cooperation, life is made somewhat easier for you.

Work life balance

Women need to remember too to slot in some “me time” in their busy lives. Merely getting out and going for a walk with a friend is good for your health and wellbeing. Prioritise this. The old adage “what’s good for mother is good for baby [or child]” is true.

So working women are under pressure – as are working men, we’ll leave that article for another day. What’s new you say? Accepting our limits and learning to compromise and assert ourselves will bring us some way towards harmony at home and at work.

Learning to Say “No”

Four years ago, UNICEF caused a stir with a report that ranked British children as the unhappiest in the industrialised world. Now it has compared the experience of children in the UK with that of their counterparts in Sweden and Spain – countries that came in the top five – in an attempt to discover why. Again, the UK is found wanting. The research suggests that parents lose out on spending time together as a family, due in part to long working hours, and often try to make amends by buying their children designer goods and toys.

“Brand bullying” pressurises parents
“Parents in the UK almost seemed to be locked into a system of consumption which they knew was pointless but they found hard to resist,” said Agnes Nairn, the report’s author.”While children would prefer time with their parents to heaps of consumer goods, parents seem to find themselves under tremendous pressure to purchase a surfeit of material goods for their children,” she added.

Family interaction and outdoor play
Interestingly, children told researchers that their happiness was dependent upon spending time with family and friends and having “plenty to do outdoors”. The report also criticized British parents for using television “as a babysitter” and for allowing children to play computer games for long periods, depriving them of fresh air.

Looking to Spain and Sweden
Of course, there are dangers in over-interpreting international quality-of-life tables, as there are with interpretations of league tables of all kinds. Countries and cultures differ, and what works in one place, may not work in another. And it is a fact that our economy is dependent upon us purchasing material goods. All the same, it is worth considering the study’s findings and what it says about our attitudes to bringing up children. The study found that in Spain and Sweden, family time is prioritised and people feel less pressure to own material goods. Their example might give food for thought to British families.

How to?
So how do we squeeze in time with our children and not give them as much “stuff”? Sure, the government and employers need to do their bit to help parents better balance work and family life through more flexible and generous parental leave and flexible working. But what can we do in an effort to stop our children becoming increasingly materialistic? We need to learn to say “no” more to demands for new gadgets and/or games. This will entail spending more time with our children, rather than giving a toy to keep tears or a tantrum at bay. Or explaining to them that they can’t always have everything they want even if it is the latest item/fashion accessory that “all” their friends have. Its harder work and more difficult for us to learn when most of us have the means to pay for it. We’re not saying it’s easy!

Learning how
Think about the benefits of your child not always getting what they want. Hearing “no” now and again teaches children to be motivated, appreciative, happy human beings. To many, MORE is always better. However, if this is true then there will never be enough – because someone will always have more than you do. Constantly giving in to your child’s demands robs them of the opportunity to develop motivation and drive in their own lives. Instead they grow up over-valuing things – but lack the drive to work for those things – yet feel entitled to them and even expect things should come easily.

There is a wealth of information available on this topic in parenting books and on the internet so we’re not going to expand on it here. It seems sometimes that parents are forever being blamed for not doing enough for their children, but rather than reacting negatively to the UNICEF study or simply ignoring it, it may be helpful for couples to consider whether they might spend a little more time with their children rather than giving them things. And spending time outdoors is good for adults as well as kids. So let them run around a bit in the fresh air and you get out too. Take it easy!