agencies – Page 4 – Nannyjob blog

Future Olympians!

Well, what an incredible buzz the Olympic Games brought with it! They claimed 22 golds, 21 silvers and 22 bronze medals in Japan. With towns and cities across Great Britain welcoming back their hero’s, it’s no wonder that many of us heard a daily announcement from our little ones “I want to do that!”.

So, if you have a child who would like to be the next Laura Kenny, Sky Brown or Tom Daly how do you get started to help them on their way to being the next big thing?

PMA!

Ok, it may sound cliche, but how do you expect a child to believe in itself if you don’t plant seeds of positivity? If they announce they want to learn a sport or event that they’ve seen on the Olympics, then there should be very little reason why they can’t. Make them feel like they can do anything they want, with the right attitude and commitment.

Don’t be a pushy parent

There is nothing worse for a child than feeling pressurised to do something they don’t really want to. Remember that this is their dream, not yours! There is no quicker way to put a child off something than to push them into it if they aren’t interested. Also, if they are not physically or emotionally ready to compete, then starting them too early can end up being frustrating for everyone, and can turn kids off from sports for good.

Local clubs

Ask around or search online for your local clubs that specialise in the area the child is interested in. You’re sure to find something in most towns and cities, and even if you have to travel a little way, it may all be worth it in the end.

Create balance

Ok, so we’ve all heard how many hours a day the best swimmers spend in the pool to become the best, and just how totally dedicated the lives of world class athletes are. When starting out though, children need to see the fun in the event, and not feel that it is simply a trial of endurance, or all consuming. They are not likely to become great at something that they don’t see as being fun and enjoyable, especially in the beginning, so make sure you help create balance, and not expect them to start dedicating their lives to their chosen sport or activity.

Nannyjob wishes you and your little one lots of fun and the best of luck in the shaping of the future Team GB! Keep us informed about how you get on at Facebook.

Rainy Day Play!

Rain rain go away, come again another day! Let’s go play in the rain!

Rain rain go away, come again another day! It seems like we’ve been saying this far too many times already this Summer. In the last few days the sun has decided to make an appearance, but just in case the rain clouds return and your plans for picnics and sunshine walks go out of the window – there are many fun things to do to keeps little ones occupied whilst it’s pouring down (and there won’t need to be a games console in sight, you’ll be pleased to know!).

We automatically think that we have to stay indoors when it’s raining, but if you nanny for toddlers or children, splashing around in puddles and mud can be lots of fun! Make sure everyone is well wrapped up in raincoats and wellies, and go out and create a splash in the woods or park, allowing the kids to get as wet and muddy as they like (if you’re brave!). The chances are the children will be so used to staying in while it’s rainy that this will be a welcome alternative and loads of fun!

So, if you’re not quite as game as that, do not fear – as always we’re here for you with our top tips and activities:

Show time! Get your little ones to put on a show. Make one end of the room the stage area, and teach them a little dance, or help them to come up with an idea for a short play (depending on age!). Once they’ve rehearsed and know what they’re doing, help them to make some nice colourful tickets, and they can ‘sell’ them to mummy and daddy later on.
Den making – we’ve never met a child yet who doesn’t love building a good old den. Probably something you did as a child (we love the old school activities!), use your imagination and get some old sheets, a duvet, or the big cardboard box that the new telly came in, and make a special den with the kids. Once it’s made, have a secret code word to get in, and put teddies and toys in there – a wonderful way of creating a new little pad for the day!
Scrap booking – with the permission of parents, encourage the children to start a personal scrapbook. It’s a great activity which will fill a rainy day, as you dig out old photos, postcards, drawings, and items that reflect who the child is and who they want to be. If they’re old enough, get the children to write next to each item they place in the scrapbook, and they can update it over time, pulling it out on more rainy days to come!
Indoor Olympics – what better a year than now to do this?! Get into the Olympic spirit and create your own games indoors. Get the kids to choose a country they’d like to represent, and to wear a comfy outfit as their uniform. For the actual activities, make sure you’re not doing anything too risky (you don’t want a smashed ornament on your hands!). Things like a slither race on the rug, or a knee race (each child going as quick as they can on their knees!) are perfect. Set up a leader board, and help the children to fill it in as they go.
Indoor beach party! Well, if we can’t have a Summer outside, why not have one inside?! Set up a tropical themed ‘beach’ party in the living room. Get the children to choose and put on their most summer-ish clothes, sunglasses, and flip flops, and make some palm tree, beach and fish paintings to decorate the walls. Find some music that fits the theme, and get the kids to help you make them some fruity ‘cocktails’ with umbrellas and straws. You’ll all forget about the rain outside before you know it!

If you have any other good ideas for indoor activities, don’t forget to share them with us on our Facebook page!

Extra-curricular Activities – How Much Is Too Much?

There now seems to be an after school or weekend club for anything you can think of, from foreign languages for kids as young as 3 years old, to learning how to fathom out the latest dance routines or synchronised swimming moves seen on TV talent shows. Gone are the days when kids would be happy just attending Cubs or Brownies one night a week, and maybe an hour of football or dancing on a Saturday. Parents and nannies are now literally shuttling from group to club almost every evening. With a world full of new concepts, and more and more parents quietly competing for their child to be the best at everything, it brings about the question – just how much extra learning and activity is good for a child, and how can we make sure they don’t get overwhelmed?

Of course, if your child seems to be happy with their activities, and is keeping up with their homework, then there may not be any need to think that they are being over-extended. The learning curves which come from such activities can be really valuable, and kids attending these groups are far less likely to spend hours on computer games or in front of the TV. Extra curricular activities can promote:

initiative
team work
self esteem and confidence
a sense of belonging
fair play with others
a boost in academic achievement

Of course, striking the right balance is key, and making sure that your kids are enjoying themselves, also having enough ‘down time’ where they can just chill out at home, and are eating and sleeping properly, and that the groups they attend are through their choice and not yours, are all really important.

Tips to make sure your child doesn’t get overwhelmed by extra curricular activity:

Clear boundaries – when the new term comes, set boundaries on the amount of activities that your child is allowed to participate in, and stick to them!
Family matters – realise the importance of family time, and never let this take a backseat to extra curricular activities. You want your child to have great, memorable family experiences, even if it means missing their club once in a while.
School comes first – ensure that your child understands that school takes priority over activities – even most of the best athletes and musicians had to take their GCSEs! Unless your child is training to be a professional, and as such is being educated outside of school, never let them miss school to do their activities.
Homework – make sure you factor in set times for your child to do homework, or encourage them to plan and manage their own time to do this.
Communicate – is your child really happy with all of the groups he or she attends? You never know, he could be attending one or more of them because he thinks you want him to. It’s key that these groups are enjoyed – otherwise what is the point?
It’s for them, not you! Did you want to be a professional ballerina or actor as a child, and never felt you had the chance?! Don’t let this be a reason for you to push your child into a certain activity. Remember that not all kids are cut out for all activities, so make sure your child is doing something because they actually want to, and if they tell you they don’t like it, listen to them!

So if you stick to the above, you never know – you might have the next David Beckham or Jessica Ennis on your hands, without the petrol bills of carting him or her to every single group under the sun in the mean time!

Do you agree that our kids may be in danger of activity overload? Or is the opposite true?! Tell us your thoughts by leaving a comment on the blog or on our Facebook page….

Is breastfeeding best for you?

It’s an age-old debate, and one that has caused many a stir amongst new mums regarding what they feel is best for baby. With so many Women being the main breadwinners now or needing to return to work more quickly for financial reasons is breast really the best way for everyone?

Gone are the days when it was a given that all new mums would breast feed, with few alternatives being promoted at all. Babies were simply expected to ‘latch on’ with no problems (or none which were discussed openly by midwives or our own mums!). In reality, most of us know that this does not always run as swimmingly as the way we plan it whilst pregnant. In fact, it can sometimes be a source of great pain both physically and emotionally to many mums who innocently expect a stress-free start to baby’s feeding.

Mums can also feel a fair amount of pressure from others to breastfeed, making this very personal choice a tricky one. Whether the breast or formula choice is made before or after baby arrives, it is certainly a decision that you need to feel happy with, in a time when emotions are heightened and doing ‘the right thing’ by baby is the only thing in mind. Here is our simple guide to the benefits and possible drawbacks of each:

Some benefits of breastfeeding:

Nutrition – Colostrum, which is the milk produced at the end of pregnancy and the early part of breastfeeding, is high in concentrated nutrition for newborns, and has a laxative effect on baby.
Protection in childhood – In addition to containing all the vitamins and nutrients your baby needs in the first six months of life, breast milk is packed with disease-fighting substances that protect your baby from illness.
Protection into adulthood – Breastfeeding’s protection against illness lasts beyond your baby’s breastfeeding stage. Antibodies in breast milk may give a baby’s immune system a boost, and can protect from childhood and adult illnesses, including diabetes, high cholesterol and high blood pressure.
Bonding – A strong physical and emotional bond can be formed between mother and baby.
No cost – Breastfeeding is free, and available whenever baby needs a feed.
Good for mum – The NHS states that there are health benefits to mum as well, including up to 500 calories being used per day, and the risk of breast and ovarian cancer being reduced.

What they don’t always tell you about breastfeeding:

Pain – Breastfeeding can be physically painful for mums, lead to sore or even bleeding nipples.
Attaching – Many new mums find that baby doesn’t attach or ‘latch on’ as naturally as they’d expect, which can lead to a feeling of rejection or failure for mum. Patience and persistence are key.
Thrush – this can occur and pass between you and baby’s mouth. If nipples become sore or pink after breastfeeding without problems, this may be a sign of thrush.
Tongue-tie – Some babies are born with ‘tongue-tie’ where the skin between the underneath of the tongue and the bottom of the mouth is tight, making it difficult for baby to attach. If you experience any of the above and want to continue breastfeeding, don’t panic as help is at hand from GPs, health advisors and midwives.

In contrast, here are some benefits of formula feeding:

Nutrients – Commercially prepared infant formulas are still full of nutrients, and can even contain some vitamins & nutrients that breastfed babies need to get from supplements.
Convenience – Formula feeding is convenient, and feeding can be shared between both parents enabling mums to do other things, and dads to feel the bond that comes with feeding their baby.
Back to normal – ‘Normal’ life can resume more quickly, including returning to work, and taking birth control or other medication.
Sleeping – Baby may sleep for longer in between feeds, giving you more chance to sleep for longer too.
Quantities – You know exactly how much milk baby has had when formula-feeding.

What they don’t always tell you about formula feeding:

Getting it right – It’s easy to make the mixture too strong, weak or hot.
Illness – the NHS states that formula fed babies are more likely to get diarrhoea, chest, ear or urine infections.
Expense – it is estimated to cost at least £700 per year to formula feed.
Sterilising – there is a lot of work involved in thoroughly sterilising all the equipment required to formula-feed.
Mixing it up – if you decide to combine bottle feeding with breastfeeding, you should not introduce bottle feeding during the first six weeks of life, because the difference between nipples can confuse the baby, cause feeding problems, and it can interfere with the establishment of breastfeeding.

If you’re still not sure whether breast or formula feeding is best for you, speak to your midwife or health visitor for information and support, or call the National Breastfeeding helpline on 0300 100 0212.

Keeping A Good Nanny

Parents … how many of your friends with nannies seem to have had an enviously easy ride, with seemingly no problems and happy children, in what looks to you like a Mary Poppins style montage?! So, if your situation doesn’t always seem to run as smoothly as your lucky mates, are you doing something to make your nannies want to leave? Or are you just not choosing the ones with staying power in the first place? If you have ever wondered this, it may be time to stop and think about whether or not there is more you can do to keep your nanny happy, or to simply keep your nanny! Once you think you’ve found the right person, you want to make sure she or he will stick around. Here are our top tips on keeping good nannies:

– Respect

It may sound like a simple employer/employee dynamic, but respecting the person who you choose to look after your most important assets makes obvious sense, but doesn’t always come easily to some parents. Make sure you discuss any issues you may have immediately with your nanny, and make her feel like you value her opinion on your children (after all she will be getting to know them very well). Remember that even though you are the parent, your nanny is the expert in child care, so admit if you think she is right and you aren’t about something!

– Keep the green-eyed monster at bay!

It is only natural that you may feel some pangs of jealousy that your nanny is spending time with your children and seeing them do things whilst you’re at work. Good nannies are well aware of this and will do their best not to make you feel like you’re missing out. If you start to feel jealous that your child is enjoying his or her time with nanny, or even preferring spending time with them, remember that this is just a sign that your nanny is doing a very good job. Wouldn’t you rather have a happy child, even if it does mean swallowing that green-eyed monster feeling for the time being?!

– Trust

Much like respecting your nanny, she will do a better job and feel more comfortable if you trust her. Of course, this may take a little bit of time to build up naturally, but the sooner you can make her feel as though she is in charge and running her position, the sooner she will come into her own, resulting in your child feeling more at ease and happy with the nanny and the situation. On the flip side, if you really do think there is a trust issue then speak to her straight away to keep things as open, and honest, as possible.

– Keep it real!

Like any job, make sure you have a realistic job description for your nanny right from the off, so that you both know- and are happy with – what is realistic. It’s true that no two days are generally the same in child care, but this doesn’t give you an excuse to expect her to work longer hours than agreed in the beginning, or to do household jobs that were not clear at the start. This is one of the quickest ways of de-motivating any employee, so if there is anything that you think you’d like to add to your nanny’s duties, make sure you ask her thoughts first.

– Realistic pay rises

Again, just like any other position, a good nanny should expect to be rewarded appropriately financially, and you should consider annual pay rises as a part of this. The standard annual rise is around 5-10%, but if you are unsure, ask other families in your area what they offer. Of course, pay is just one part of the reward that a good nanny gets from her job, but it is likely she will know other nannies and if she isn’t getting a similar financial reward to her peers, a good nanny can move on very easily.

The most important thing for you as a parent is to make sure your children have a happy and consistent care routine, and for this, holding on to a good nanny is key.

Have we missed anything? Leave a comment with your thoughts, or stop by our Facebook page to tell us what you think!

Ommmm…. The Key Benefits of Yoga For Children

A bit of time to zen out, a great way to loosen off muscles, the best way to keep supple, or a full on cardio workout – whatever ways we already think yoga is good for us as adults – whether you partake or not – we know there are generally lots of benefits.

So, why should this be different for the little people in our lives? It isn’t. As joints and muscles are still growing, yoga can bring benefits that other exercise can’t for our little ones. Here are the reasons it’s a good idea to start them early with this ancient eastern art:

Enhancing concentration: When your child gets used to the postures of yoga, they automatically improve their concentration skills. Ancient sages used yoga as a form of meditation, and their powers of concentration are legendary. Your child learns how to sit still in one place and focus on what’s important as opposed to letting their mind wander and be distracted easily. This helps them in their lessons and at school, boosts their attention span and improves their grades.

Increasing flexibility and balance: Yoga helps improve flexibility and balance and tones their muscles too. It makes them stronger and less likely to suffer sprains and fractures through accidental falls.

Improving general well-being: Kids who practice yoga regularly feel good about themselves and are healthier and happier than those who don’t. They feel both mentally and physically rejuvenated after a yoga session and this improves their mental and physical health.

Boosting confidence: When your child is able to display great agility and flexibility, it does wonders for their confidence. Their improved performance at school also helps boost their popularity and their self assurance. They become more poised and start to believe in their abilities. This feeling provides them with the adrenaline they need to achieve success in all their endeavours.

Relaxing their minds: Even kids are subject to a great deal of stress these days because of their workload at school and the high expectations that many parents have. They are pushed to be achievers at every single point of their lives, and when they fail, they take it to heart and become depressed. Yoga helps them relax and de-stress when they feel upset or depressed. It soothes their frayed minds and helps them get back to a normal mental state.

Source: www.youngyogamasters.com

Although not yet seen as a mainstream activity for children in many cities, you should be able to find children’s yoga classes near or in your area via a quick Internet search. If you struggle, it may be worth contacting your school or nursery, and asking them to start arranging classes with a local qualified children’s yoga instructor.

Are you or your kids into Yoga or similar activities? Share it with us on our Facebook page!

How Nannies Can Help Children Cope With Parents’ Divorce

If you nanny for a family who is breaking up and going through a divorce or separation, it can be a real task to help get the kids through things, as well as to carry on your general nanny duties throughout this unstable time for all involved.

Children of any age can be deeply affected by their parents divorcing, even if they appear to be coping well on the outside, and it is a known fact that the bond with a caregiver may be the most stable relationship for the child during a divorce. In this situation, the nanny is seen as a caring adult who can provide a different perspective on things and not be full of the emotion that the child’s parents would be at the time – this can be a real relief for the child.

So, here are some ways that as a nanny you can really help the parents, children, and yourself, in a divorce or separation situation:

Communication

You need to know what the parents want you to know, and more importantly what they want you to say to the child. Be as straightforward as possible, and ask the parents to sit down with you and help you to do your best by their child, by briefing you properly on things. It may be painful, but it’s necessary.

Set out your stand

If you see your position as long term and would like to carry on working for the family (and they still want / can afford to employ you), then make it clear that you understand this is a difficult time, but that you will need to know where and what hours you will be required to work from now on. Make it clear that for you to do your job, you need to be in the loop with any custody and visitation issues at the very least. Remember this is a business relationship when all is said and done, and they should still respect that.

Patience is a virtue

Whatever reaction the child has, make sure you are patient and let them go through it. The last thing the child needs is for the one stable adult influence to be pressuring them to be ‘mature’ or not get too upset. If they are allowed to go through the emotions they feel, they will eventually come through the other side, and trust you all the more.

Reassurance

Use reassuring language, and if the child has a tactile nature, then give lots of hugs. Answer any questions they may ask you as best you can, based on what the parents have told you. Reassure the child that they are NOT responsible for the divorce, and repeat this as much as possible. In all the chaos the parents may have forgotten the incredible importance of this.

Keep normal schedules and routines

Encourage parents to do the same at home. Try not to change any more things than necessary, so that the child can feel as secure and ‘normal’ as they possibly can.

Encourage parents

If you have a good relationship with the parents, try to encourage them to spend a bit more time with the child when your shift starts and ends. If, for example, a dad has moved out of the family home, when he is in your place of work with the child, leave them alone for a little while, so he can have some valuable moments when he might not have done.

Remember that above all, the most important thing is to be a stable, calm and consistently positive influence for the child at this trying time. This will help you grow as a nanny, increase the bond that you have with the family, and very importantly help the children in their time of need.

Do you agree with our thoughts on this extremely sensitive issue? Post a comment or let us know your thoughts on our Facebook page…

Changing Career And Becoming A Nanny

With the economy and the job market struggling, there has been an increase in the number of people rethinking just how they can carve out a career for themselves. There are many people who previously did totally different jobs with no link to child care who are now wanting to go about getting into the industry. Here we outline the best ways to get into nannying if you don’t know where to start and have no experience, but know it’s where you see your career heading.

Start with the end in mind

Like starting any career, ask yourself where you see yourself in 5 years time, or even in 20 years time! It’s always best to begin something with a clear goal, and stick to it. Write down what you want from this career change, and ultimately where you see it taking you, and keep referring to it as you go to keep on track mentally.

Qualifications and experience

The good news is that there are no legal qualifications that you have to hold to become a nanny. However, this can be a double edged sword in cases, as parents will want to be as sure as possible that you can cope with the job, if they can’t see it written on a formal black and white certificate.

There are courses you can do to show that you are capable, including CACHE (the officially recognised Awarding Body for Early Years, Care and Education, and Play-work). Another way to prove you’re serious is to join the voluntary section of the General Childcare Register, which is administered by Ofsted, and covers things like Paediatric First Aid training (something that potential employers will want you to have).

As with anything else, the more experience you have, generally the more able you will be, so gain as much experience with children outside your family as possible, whether this is helping out at local playgroups, or babysitting for friends. This is a great way to use case studies as examples when being interviewed for a nannying job, and will put faith into parents that you can handle situations with children alone.

Learning

Be aware that potential employers will expect you to help with their child’s key stages of development. You’ll be expected to plan and organise fun activities to help development and learning, so it is worth looking into registering on courses that would help you with this. There are many courses out there, and it helps that you can use distance learning. A great place to start is to have a look at our list at http://www.nannyjob.co.uk/information/general/qualifications.aspx, and check out the list on www.childcarecollege.co.uk.

References

If you have no experience in the industry, it is still worth getting character references from previous employers, even if from a totally different sector. Potential employers will want to know about how trustworthy you are, what your timekeeping is like, and what kind of motivation levels you have, no matter what you did previously.

Know what you will and won’t do

Does the idea of walking the family dog fill you with dread? Are you happy to be asked to do the household ironing? Before you advertise your services as a nanny, prepare yourself to be asked to do things that are not strictly childcare based. Most nannies do nursery duties, which is anything related to the child within reason, so washing and ironing, and tidying the bedroom and playroom, as well as cooking meals would all most likely be expected of you. If there is anything that you really wouldn’t want to do then make it clear from the start.

The Nannyjob website should be a great source of information to help you get to grips with learning and beginning your new career, and ultimately to get a fantastic position! Good luck from the Nannyjob team.

Food For Thought: How To Encourage Healthy Eating

As a nanny one of your most important duties is to make sure the children in your care eat properly. This may sound simple enough, and parents may take it for granted that you will make sure their child eats well, but what happens if you find yourself face to face with the fussiest eater you’ve ever met – in the form of the small child in your care?!

It can be a real worry if a little one will only ever eat when or what they want to. It could be that parents do not experience this with their child, and the child may be trying to exercise an element of control over their environment when in your care. Having personally nannied for a 5 year old who only ever wanted jam sandwiches, I know from experience how frustrating it can be – but fear not, this did change over time, as he started to put more trust into the slightly more unfamiliar things in all areas of his life.

As always we are here to share our top tips if you find yourself in this kind of situation:

Don’t make it a big deal! Inwardly, you might be screaming, but try not to let the child see that this bothers you so much. Depending on the reason for the fussiness, the child may feel like they have ‘won’ if they see it bothering you, or in other cases they may start thinking there is something wrong with them – neither situation is good, so keep cool and very slowly over time start encouraging them to eat more / other things. The calmer you are about it, the more likely they are to be calm and compliant too.

Get them involved. It’s a known fact that a child is twice as likely to eat a meal that they have helped to prepare. As well as being educational and fun, getting a child to safely help out with food preparation will help improve their relationship with food. Start with taking them grocery shopping, so they can see the whole process from the start, and start to see it as fun.

Appropriate portions. We all know what it’s like when presented with a large and over facing meal. The immediate reaction is to feel a negative connotation with the meal and feel as though you can’t eat it before you even start. Well, this is the same for our smaller friends! You may think you’re doing them a favour by trying to get them to ‘eat it all otherwise no pudding’, but this is often the wrong way to go about things. Limit portion size, so that the child is not over faced, and they will feel proud of themselves for finishing a (much easier to manage) meal.

Timing. Make sure you only go about introducing new foods at appropriate times. A good example of this is if a child is hungry and / or rested or in a good mood. They are far more likely to try something new in this case. Also, make sure you only ever introduce one new thing at a time, again so as not to over face the child.

Mix it up. If you really want to introduce a certain food group that you know won’t be accepted too well by a fussy child, try introducing it at the same time as serving a favourite food. This will make the child more likely to try the other food on his plate as well as his favourite. If he ignores the new food, don’t fuss, just quietly try again next time.

Lead by example. It may help to actually sit and eat the same meal that you are trying to encourage, with the child. As we know, children like to imitate, and if you make sure that you, the child, and any siblings get into the routine of eating the same things, together at the table, then it often helps to encourage the fussy child to eat the same.

If you are finding that the issue seems to last for a really long period of time, it may be that there is a deeper rooted problem, and consulting a doctor or dietician is advised.

Oh brother! How To Handle Sibling Rivalry…

Sibling rivalry has existed as long as families. Think back to Biblical times and Joseph’s problems with his brothers, or of the horrible time Cinderella had with her stepsisters!

In some cases, right from the moment a younger child is born a sense of rivalry is evident, with one or more child feeling the need to fight for the attention of a parent or nanny; or be more successful at certain games or classes, whether they have been given any real need to or not. Other siblings develop this later on, when school, sport and activities become more a part of life, and of course, there are lucky families where there is no sign of any of this at all.

Of course, each child is born with a natural rite of passage to find their niche within the family dynamic. We usually expect this to happen fairly naturally, and even if we do everything we can to encourage individuality and peaceful relationships, this doesn’t always run as smoothly as we would like. We tend to think that children are blank canvases in many ways, but just like adults, they have personality traits unique to them and which can clash with those of others.

Spending most of their time with their siblings in the early years, it doesn’t take much to work out that this can be where these clashes start to occur. According to child psychologist Sylvia Rimm, sibling rivalry is particularly intense when children are very close in age and of the same gender, or where one child is intellectually gifted.

So how do we deal with siblings who see themselves as opponents in some way? And how do we make sure that sibling rivalry doesn’t develop into a horrible case of adult envy? Whether it starts in early childhood or later on, here are our top tips:

Avoid ‘labelling’ – it’s a difficult task praising one child whilst trying not to make another feel left out, but try not to use labels for each child, e.g ‘the sporty one’ or ‘the naughty one’. You can bet your life that the siblings of each of these will automatically feel like the total opposite, i.e. bad at sports and therefore inferior, or more well behaved and therefore superior. Labels simply add fuel to the fire of sibling rivalry.

Look at your own relationship – what example are you showing your children? Do they witness you and your partner rowing or criticising each other? If this is the case, you can’t expect your children not to do the same. They see this behaviour as normal, and are confused if you pull them up on it whilst doing the same thing and getting away with it. Don’t show your child how to be a hypocrite – try to put more positivity into your own relationship and you’ll see a change in theirs.

Encourage teamwork – by encouraging siblings to work together projects, you’ll increase the strength of the bond between them. Try to set them a little task every day together, which takes concentration and will hold their interest. If it’s time to put toys away, set the clock and get them both to race against it, instead of against each other. For sporty older kids set up a football game where they play together against other children on the street. Get ‘girlie’ sisters to create a beauty therapy centre at home where they both give you equal amounts of treatments together, meaning they get the best of your attention and help each other at the same time. The chances are they’ll get so engrossed in doing these tasks right that they’ll be on each others side for a while afterwards.

Show them the difference between fairness and equality – if a younger child is upset because the older one gets to stay up longer, explain that this is fair because of the age difference. They are still equal, and remind the younger one of fair privileges that they get for being younger, for example not having as much homework to do. If they can grasp this and be reminded of it, you’ll hopefully hear less of the old ‘it’s not fair!’ from now on!

Set aside “alone time” for each child. This is so important. Whether you’re a nanny or a parent, make sure you set at least a few minutes most days for one on one time. It’s amazing how much even 10 minutes of uninterrupted one-on-one time can mean to a child, and this can be a perfect time to encourage the child to talk to you about the things that they love about their brother or sister, whilst giving them the praise and attention that they need themselves.

These guidelines will hopefully help to make life easier for parents or nannies looking after siblings with difficulties. If you feel that there is more of a deep seated issue, it may be worth contacting a child psychologist who will be able to help further.

Do you agree with our ideas here? Either way, we welcome your comments on our blog and of course via our very active Facebook page …