au pairs – Page 16 – Nannyjob blog

‘What If Money Didn’t Matter?’

Yesterday here at Nannyjob towers, we came across something utterly fantastic – this video, that was flagged up through the powers of social media (our Facebook page!).

To say that this really got us thinking would be a huge understatement. The narrator, the late Alan Watts, takes us through the video, asking the listener to consider something that they may possibly have never really considered before – what they would REALLY want to do with their life, if money didn’t matter.

So, as I’m sure you can imagine, when the Nannyjob team comes across something as thought provoking as this, it leads to a big discussion about how these principals apply to children. We all pretty much agreed that encouraging a child to follow their heart and gravitate towards what they love doing, rather than what might be a ‘sensible’ option, was incredibly important for their long term happiness.

There are still many parents out there who push their child into doing what they themselves think is most beneficial to get them a ‘good’ career. A recent example is a parent I came across at a local private school, who is a surgeon (as is her husband). Clearly a very clever couple in so many ways you might think, although I was utterly flabbergasted at their response to their 10 year old’s new found love of archaeology: “We’ve told him that it’s ok to like it now, but not to get too interested in it, as it wouldn’t be a good career choice”.

Oh. My. Goodness. Me! This child is TEN for God’s sake! And he REALLY ENJOYS archaeology! Apart from this, if they’re concerned about future financial successes for their LITTLE boy, surely some of the world’s leading archaeologists are onto a really high earner? Needless to say, Nannyjob was very confused (and a little sad) about this.

It appears that for many parents, this is the chosen approach. Very often the children are denied what they love doing, and are steered in the direction of something they aren’t remotely interested in, or naturally good at. The parents are then surprised when their child grows up and rebels, or even worse, spends their entire career totally miserable. Of course, this is not always the case, as many children in this position actually start believing that this approach is the best, and that denying themselves of a degree and potentially a job in archaeology, art, dance, or whatever they actually enjoy but were told wasn’t ‘sensible’ is more beneficial to them. But I bet my last nannying pound that they turn around one day, even if it is in retirement, and say ‘what if I’d done what I really wanted….’.

So our advice is to most definitely follow the late, great Mr Watts’ advice after you watch this video, and to do what you REALLY want to do, and encourage your children the same. They will thank you for it, we promise….

To watch the video Click here!

The Dummy Debate: Pro’s And Cons

The issue is far from black and white. You’ll hear parents raving about dummies or reviling them. We look at expert Wendy C. Fries’ arguments over the pros and cons of dummies.

The pros: A few reasons to use a dummy

There are many good reasons to use dummies – just ask any parent who’s managed to get a moment of peace with the judicious use of one. But a bit of peace isn’t the only plus. Others include:

Possible protection against sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). The Department of Health advises that giving your baby a dummy at the start of any sleep period may reduce the risk of SIDS. Use the dummy when putting baby down to sleep – don’t put it back in baby’s mouth once he’s already asleep.

Helping babies pacify themselves. Infants need ways to help soothe themselves and a dummy can be a source of comfort for a crying or colicky baby.

It satisfies the suck reflex. Some babies have a need to suck that exceeds the time they get on the bottle or breast. For these infants, a dummy can meet this very real need.

Easier weaning. When you’re ready for a child to stop, it’s much easier to wean them from a dummy than off their thumb.

Cons: Reasons to avoid a dummy

While some parents hope to avoid dummies altogether, many experts don’t think that’s necessary. Yet there are a few issues to watch for when using a dummy:

Research has suggested that there may be a link between use of a dummy and recurrent ear infections in young children. Researchers aren’t sure why this happens, but suspect it may be due to a change in pressure between the middle ear and upper throat. The Department of Health advises that parents who give their child a dummy should not be overly concerned by these research findings. It was not clear, it notes, whether parents participating in the research had a tendency to use dummies to soothe young children who were prone to recurrent ear infections.

If a dummy is introduced too early, there’s the risk of nipple confusion for a baby who’s just learning to suckle. When a baby is being breastfed, it’s best not to give a dummy until breastfeeding is well established, usually at about one month old.

Parents can mistakenly offer a dummy when the baby really needs nutrition-based sucking, such as a breast or bottle.

Babies who are overzealous suckers, or who use a dummy for long periods, may have problems as their teeth grow and develop. Overuse of a dummy can also hinder speech development, which is why it’s recommended that you try to limit the times your baby uses a dummy, and to wean your baby off the dummy completely by the age of one.

Wendy C. Fries is senior editor with WebMD

Source: www.webmd.boots.com

Cold and Flu relief – What Did Those Old Wives Do?!

Brrrrrr. It’s cold here at Nannyjob. So cold that we’re cranking up the heating to full, fishing out our thickest thermals and drawing the curtains before the 6 o’clock news (have you sussed yet that we’re possibly Summer peeps?!). It’s not all bad though, the Coca Cola train and John Lewis ads have started sweeping that annual feeling of nostalgia into our living rooms, and we’re enjoying cosying up together talking about what Santa might bring.. BUT, just one very wintery problem to sort out first –

COLDS GALORE! As usual in Winter, we have little ones here with sniffles and colds, so as well as the saviour of all things that is Calpol coming to the rescue, this year we have decided to give some of the old wives tales of cold and flu relief a go on our little ones to find out which really work, and which are plain, well, silly.. and as always, we’re sharing our best bits of advice with our lovely readers!

– Chicken Soup.

Something of an icon of cold relievers, this one brings back memories of my childhood, where any sick days from school always meant a large bowl of the good stuff whilst watching lunchtime Neighbours and Going For Gold. I seem to recall it always working (rose tinted childhood specs?!). Apparently heat is the key, so any soup will work to a degree, as it promotes airway secretions and has a calming action on inflamed throats. But chicken soup’s combination of fats, spices, and water seems to work best when it comes to breaking up mucus.

Nannyjob effectiveness rating – 7/10

– Hot Toddy (minus alcohol!).

Now, again, my childhood memories of cold relief seem to include a cheeky teeny tiny drop of brandy in a hot toddy at bedtime. Not only did I feel very grown up, but I slept and felt rested (it was the 80’s and my family are Irish!). Of course, we DO NOT advise alcohol in this one for kids, but it can be done without. Mix 1 tsp of honey with a good squeeze of lemon juice, and hot water in a mug. The honey soothes, and the hot fluid has a demulcent and soothing action, with slightly bitter flavours such as lemon it is particularly beneficial.

Nannyjob effectiveness rating – 8/10

– Vitamin C.

Your child should have a good all-year-round supply of this good stuff to help ward off nastiness. According to a large review of clinical research at Helsinki University, regular doses of vitamin C may cut an adult’s cold duration in half and a child’s by a day. Now, in our experience vitamin C is a better deterrent for colds than a cure once one has begun, but it’s never a bad thing to add an extra dose when little one has a cold. As well as giving them lots of fruit and veg, our favourite vitamin C supplement for kids is from Haliborange (www.seven-seas.com/Haliborange).

Nannyjob effectiveness rating – 9/10

– Garlic.

The Nannyjob jury is out on this one. Yes, it may be beneficial, but how many children do you know who would happily drink a mixture of warm milk and crushed garlic without feeling sick? Our advice – add a little bit extra into your evening meals so little one gets an edible dose. Allicin, an active compound in garlic, is known to act as a decongestant, and garlic is known to have high antioxidant properties, so it’s worth getting your Italian cookbooks out whilst you have a cold-ridden child!

Nannyjob effective as rating – 6/10.

– Fresh air.

Again, we know this is a great boost to the system in many ways, but we’re a little dubious about sending our little ones out into the garden to play when they’re poorly. If you’re going to try this one, make sure they’re really well wrapped up and don’t stay out more than 10 minutes when poorly. According to Thomas Weidner of Ball State University, light exercise in fresh air can ease a runny nose, sore throat, or sneezing.

Nannyjob effectiveness rating – 6/10.

Do you have any other old wives tales that work? Make sure you share your gems of knowledge with us if so! Now, back to what Santa might bring…. 😉

Feel free to comment on this blog, or let us know your own ideas for cold and flu relief on our Facebook page.

Career Re-Entry for the At-Home Parent

So, the difficult decision of ‘staying at home for the first few years’ was made whilst pregnant… the satisfaction of being there for first teeth, first steps, first day at school was achieved over those years… You’re getting a fantastic nanny lined up through Nannyjob for when you have time to go back into work… Everything seems to have fallen perfectly….

And now it’s time to get back into the big wide world of work…. Simple, hey?! Well, not always, actually. As well as the economy altering drastically, many companies now require far more innovative techniques, international networks, cost-saving approaches and collaborations – all leading to suggest that those few years at home, although great for you and your child in so many ways, may actually lead at best a real struggle to find the kind of position that you felt over qualified for before you left work to be a mummy. Or at worst to career suicide.

Continue reading “Career Re-Entry for the At-Home Parent”

Positive Parenting Techniques

We all know that if you have one or more children in your care for any length of time, feeling like being consistently positive about their behaviour (instead of tearing your hair out and yelling like a banshee) can be a real mean feat.

The experts tell us that ‘positive parenting’ – i.e. encouraging positive traits a child might have when you might normally want to pull them up on a misbehaviour, is actually the best way to train them into behaving. Becoming angry is generally not an effective way of disciplining a child. But how easy is this in reality? When you’re at the end of a long day and your patience is being tested by a naughty little one, could you really just be positive?

Continue reading “Positive Parenting Techniques”

Online Safety For Kids: What Parents And Nannies Need To Know

Keeping up with and supervising children’s online activity can be challenging, especially when they have their own computers, smartphones and tablets. www.getsafeonline.org helps us give you a guide below to understand the risks.

The Risks

Inappropriate contact: from people who may wish to abuse, exploit or bully them.
Inappropriate conduct: because of their own and others’ online behaviour, such as the personal information they make public. They may also become either targets or perpetrators of cyberbullying.
Inappropriate content: being able to access sexually explicit, racist, violent, extremist or other harmful material.
Commercialism: directing aggressive advertising and marketing material at children.
Children gaining access to your own personal information stored on your computer.
Children enabling viruses and spyware by careless or misinformed use of your computer.

Keeping Children Safe Online

There are a number of online age-appropriate educational resources available to parents/guardians and teachers, and children themselves, covering every aspect of online safety for children.

You should also take the following measures. Remember that these factors will change as children grow up and should be reconsidered regularly.

Set ground rules about use of the internet, email and texts. They should learn to take responsibility for their own actions and develop their own judgement.
Make children aware that online contacts may not be who they say they are.
Children must keep personal details private.
Ensure that they use a family email address when filling in online forms.
They must never meet unsupervised with anyone they have contacted via the internet.
Get children to report concerns about conversations, messages and behaviours to you or another known and trusted adult. Encourage them to share their internet experience with you and make it a shared family experience.
Get children to report bullying online, by text or phone immediately to you.
Use the parental control settings on your browser, search engine and internet security package.
Alternatively, consider buying specialist parental control software.
Block pop-ups and spam emails.
Consider enabling online access from only a family computer located in a shared room.
Always sit with younger children when they are online.
Consider choosing a child-friendly home page in your browser settings.
Learn the language of chatrooms and log on yourself so you know how it works.
Consider setting up a family e-mail account which can be used specifically to register for websites, competitions etc.
Tell your children not to illegally copy copyrighted content such as music, films or software.
Ensure that your children do not have access to your logon account so that they cannot access, alter or delete your files.
Take care to limit children’s access to credit card and bank information. Similarly, ensure they cannot gain access to an online shop or other website where your details are stored.
Set limits on when they can use the computer, and for how long.
Remember that a lot of the above advice also applies to your children’s use of mobile phones, tablets and games consoles.

Further Help and Reporting

If you suspect a paedophile may be grooming or trying to befriend your child – or your child is being stalked or harassed – contact the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (CEOP) or your local Police.

Source: getsafeonline.org

Maybe Baby….? Reasons You Might Not Know You’re Pregnant (Until You’re In Labour!)

A 21 year old British female soldier gave birth while serving on the front line in Afghanistan while not realising she was pregnant – even despite an 8km run as part of her training! Although born almost 5 weeks early, mum and baby are both in a stable condition and are due to be flying home in the next few days.

Yes, if you’ve ever given birth, this is REALLY hard to imagine! Most of us put on at least a couple of stone, and by the end of pregnancy feel very much as though it is dominating our entire being, so it is difficult to imagine how anybody could get to the later stages of pregnancy and not realise it. Surely she felt SOMETHING, right?! Well, in some cases women do not show a bump and continue to have periods for the duration of the pregnancy.

Research conducted in Germany in 2002 found that 25 out of 475 mothers did not realise they were pregnant until they went into labour.

‘How can this be?’ we hear you ask…. As ever, the Oracle that is Nannyjob comes to the rescue with the most common reasons this might happen:

Body weight

The extra pounds associated with pregnancy may not be as noticeable for women who are already overweight. Excess body fat, especially around the stomach area, can help hide the presence of a baby – even from its mother. It’s also important to note that not all pregnant women carry their unborn babies similarly, which influences how large and round a woman’s belly may appear. If baby is growing tucked high under the ribs, or settles in a breach position, it can be much harder to detect pregnancy.

Few side effects

Most pregnancies induce morning sickness, tender breasts, headaches, food cravings, back pain, soreness and weight gain. Since the hormones related to pregnancy affect different women in different ways, it’s not surprising that some experience different pains and sensations, and rarely some experience barely any at all.

Irregular menstrual cycles

Occasionally, pregnant women continue to experience period-like bleeding, which deceives them into thinking they’re not pregnant.

Stress

Stress can negatively affect a woman’s attitude toward pregnancy. Immense pressure and distress can push even the healthiest of women to deny the reality of pregnancy. Stress can affect the regularity of a woman’s menstrual cycle, so a woman who misses a period because she’s pregnant may falsely attribute her irregularity to stress

An inactive baby

Whether the baby rests in such a way that makes its movements hard to detect or it’s simply less active than others babies, movement in the womb — or lack thereof — can shape a woman’s perception of her pregnancy.

Mistaking pregnancy symptoms with another health issue

In some circumstances, a woman might not know she’s pregnant because she believes her pregnancy symptoms are caused by some other health problem. Women with a history of ovarian complications such as tumours or cysts may attribute discomfort or pain to their previous condition.

Source: Discovery Fit & Health

Here at Nannyjob we wish the British soldier and her new baby all the very best, and a safe journey back to their family in the UK.

Paternity Leave – Do Dads Get A Fair Deal?

When it comes to statutory paternity leave, how happy are we as parents? The lines in which specific gender roles once fitted have become less and less defined over time when it comes to work and child rearing, so what was once seen as a bonus amount of time for daddy to spend with his new baby, can now be seen as unfairly short.

The first few weeks of a baby’s life bring about some of the most precious moments we will ever spend with them, as well as probably one of the biggest culture shocks! Most parents would agree that having both of them around at this time to support one another – as well as baby, is hugely important. So with paternity leave at a standard of 2 weeks against the 52 weeks that mums get for maternity leave, do dads get a tough deal from the government?

Research in 2010 showed that new fathers with long enough service at a company were entitled to £124.88 a week for two weeks paternity leave, or 90% of their average weekly wage if that was lower. Assuming a 40 hour working week, this figure came in far below the minimum wage!

It’s a very confusing message to the modern dad… one who is made to believe that ‘co-parenting’ and working spouses each taking equal roles in child care are the done thing. Indeed just 29% of people now believing that parenting is solely a mothers job. Yet fathers are given little or no choice over how much time they can spend away from work and with his child at the beginning of this ‘equal’ new role he and his spouse have taken.

Damion Queva, owner of top dad’s magazine FQ, can see an argument from both fathers and an employers view points:

“There are a lot of very good businesses which already allow paternity leave beyond the statutory minimum. They recognise that a happy employee with a good work life balance will be a loyal employee… At the same time, I think it is reasonable for workers to give plenty of notice, clear their desks before they go off, maybe come in a bit earlier and leave a bit later before their leave starts.

“Times have changed, and so have our priorities, but that applies to employers as well as their employees.”

Are you a Dad who wishes for more paternity leave? Are you a parent who has come up with an innovative way round this problem that you’re willing to share?! Either way, post a comment to the blog or our Facebook page with your thoughts…

Separation Anxiety: When Does It Become A Problem?

The thought of hiring a nanny for the first time can be a daunting one for any parent. Mixed with the added concern about whether or not your child will take well to the nanny (and vice-versa!), the last thing you might consider is whether or not your little one is actually ok with you leaving for work each day – a situation that is probably totally new to them.

You and your child may both experience an element of separation anxiety as and when you return to work, which if course is entirely natural. If, however, you are worried about the level of anxiety your child is experiencing, or if this continues for longer than you think is natural for your child, it may be time to look further into how you and your nanny can help ease the situation.

What is child separation anxiety?

This is a normal part of child development, and can occur from as young as 8months. As the child gets older, it should fade away. Sometimes, however, a child’s fear about separation seems resurface from nowhere after time, or to build up more as time passes. If anxieties are prominent enough to get in the way of school or other activities, this can be a sign that a child has a separation anxiety disorder, and you may want to call on the help of a professional. There are also lots of things that as a parent or a nanny you can do to help.

Some common symptoms of separation anxiety becoming a disorder:

Complaints from the child of feeling physically ill, such as tummy ache or head ache upon separation or just before.
An irrational fear that something terrible may happen to a loved one whilst separated from them.
Nightmares about separation from loved ones.
Fear of going to school or nursery, or a straight refusal of doing so.
Reluctance to go to sleep, for fear of being alone.

Why might my child have a separation anxiety disorder?

Getting to the bottom of the reasons behind a child’s separation anxiety disorder makes you much more likely to help them. The following are common reasons that your child may be experiencing this:

Your anxieties. Parent’s own insecurities and anxieties about separation from the child are felt by your child more than you may think, and it is possible that the child is feeding from them, and learning part of this behaviour from you. Don’t panic if this rings true with you – as soon as you act in a more relaxed way around your child, they should begin to respond.
A change in normal routine – this is likely to be the case if you have recently introduced a nanny and are going back to work.
Any recent stressful situations – this might include moving house, a new sibling being born, falling out with a best friend, or the loss of a beloved pet.

Dealing with child separation anxiety disorder – Tips for parents:

Let your child get to know a new caregiver first. If you need to leave your child with a new nanny who they do not know, give them a chance to get to know each other while you’re still around, so they feel safe.
Create a positive spin. Reassuring your child that mummy and daddy are going away for a little while, but will always be home in a matter of hours, helps to give them something positive to focus on when you leave.
Talk it through. Getting down to your child’s physical level, listening to what they say and explaining that you understand how they are feeling can really help. Just as much as adults, children pick up on when someone is trying to understand them, and are likely to feel comforted by this.
Leave without fuss. Instead of reacting to your child’s anxiety by making a fanfare when you leave the house, kiss them goodbye, tell them that you will be back within a matter of hours and go.
Set boundaries. Make sure your child knows that although you understand how they are feeling and are trying to help, there are also rules that need to be followed.
Give praise. Make sure that any accomplishments, even seemingly small ones like eating all of their dinner, is praised, to help the child feel good about themselves as often as possible.

Dealing with child separation anxiety disorder – Tips for nannies:

Consistency. If you feel that a child you are looking after may have a separation anxiety disorder, try to ease them in to being in your care by continuing as much as possible with any routines they had before. The child is far less likely to feel that things are totally different without mummy or daddy there.
Listen. It’s vital to build a sense of trust up with the child, and making them feel that you want to listen to how they feel and understand them will help them to open up and feel at ease with you.
No distractions. If a child is distressed after a parent has left for the day, explain calmly that you are there to talk to them about their feelings, and give them time to come round, instead of distracting them with something else. The child is more likely to trust you and feel in control of the situation.
Give praise. Just like with parents, children will benefit by feeling a sense of achievement and being praised for any accomplishments.
Stay in control, calm and firm. Make sure the child is aware that you are the boss for the time their parents are away. The separation from their main authority figure is enough for a child with severe separation anxiety, without them feeling as though there is no authority there for them at all.

If you feel that a child is suffering from a case of separation anxiety disorder, and the above tips are not enough to help, it’s best to refer to a GP who can offer further advice.

Summer 2012 Fun Activities With The Kids!

With the days finally drawing out, and the smell of Summer hanging optimistically in the air, comes a wonderful time to think about doing things outdoors with the little ones. However – many of us feel a sensation of mild panic – how will we fill the long Summer days, and make the most of the weeks on end where there is no school or nursery to take over?

Children love being outside when the weather is fine, they can talk louder, jump higher, run faster and get dirtier. So what better excuse to lock away the games consoles and DVDs, and get some good old fashioned colour in their cheeks?! For the good of childminders, nannies and parents alike, here are our top ideas to keep children of mixed age groups occupied in the great outdoors (good old Blighty weather-dependant of course!):

Nature Drawing

If you have some woodland locally, or would prefer to just explore the garden, this is a great opportunity to wander around with sketchpads and take advantage of getting children to draw what they see. Whether it is sketching flowers, worms, trees or simply scribbling with some colour pencils for smaller tots, this is a lovely way of getting their creative juices flowing. This is also a great way to teach children the names of trees and flowers at the same time, and gives them something to stick on the wall once they get back inside.

Host your own back garden Olympics!

What better an activity for this Summer, whilst the professionals are battling it out in London, why not get into the spirit in your own way by setting up an Olympics style tournament for the children? The back garden, or local park are perfect locations, and kids will love choosing what ‘events’ they would like to compete in, be it running races, jumping into a sandpit, throwing bean bags as far as possible or whatever ideas they have! From making signs, leader boards and marking out tracks, there are many hours of fun to be had and you are sure to have stress-free bed-times after all the exercise!

Teddy bears picnic

No matter how many children you are responsible for, a teddy bears picnic is a great way for them to feel that their friends are included – whether they are fellow play mates, or a host of teddy bear friends! Set up beside a big tree for shade, cover picnic tables with gingham table cloths, and have large picnic blankets for the kids and their special friends to sit on. Make sure you send each special teddy his own invitation, and make place name cards for each one. Make some simple teddy ears for each child, by attaching ovals of brown felt to basic headbands, and paint the end of each little nose with black face paint, to make them really feel like one of their fluffy friends. Oh, and don’t forget to sing ‘If you go down to the woods today….’

Cycling

What’s that saying again – once you learn how to ride a bike you never forget?! Well, prove that you haven’t by hiring bikes with the kids and going on a designated route, or simply hitting the park for the morning. If you look after children who are too small to ride, bikes with baby seats are available to hire, and mean that everyone can be involved. www.cyclehireinfo.com offers great information and advice about hiring bikes all over the UK.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure you get out there and enjoy the good weather whilst its here! Why not let us know what you plan to get up to by posting your summer activities onto our Facebook page?