Childbirth: 5 Benefits Of Being A ‘Stay At Home’ Mum

Hands up if you spent a toe-curling hour of each Wednesday night over the last few months glued to the TV set, watching from behind a pillow as the ever popular ‘One Born Every Minute‘ quite literally delivered step-by-step, real-life, and often very graphic footage of hospital births into your front room … ?!? And hands up if watching it has made you ask yourself whether or not your next (or your first) child would be born on a maternity ward, or actually born in the comfort of that very aforementioned front room?!

There is still a huge proportion of women who opt for home births instead of hospital births, for a number of different reasons.

Throughout human history, women have always given birth in a familiar place, especially in the days when giving birth in a hospital, with it’s incredibly high infection rates, was more dangerous than at home. Not until almost 1940 did hospital-birth mortality rates in the Western world drop below those of home deliveries.

Even now, babies are still born at home in most places around the world. Although the move from birth at home to the hospital started in the 18th century, giving birth at home was the most common way in most countries until around 1950.

5 Benefits of modern day home birth:

One on one midwifery care. You get to know your midwife and know that she will be the person delivering baby, instead of whoever is on a hospital maternity ward on the day of your labour.
Start as you mean to go on. Other family members can be present, and the environment that you have set up for your new arrival is the one that he will immediately sense as he enters the world.
Less anxiety for you. You’re at home, in familiar surroundings, without hearing the cries of other labouring women or feeling any ‘white coat syndrome’. To some women this in itself can make all the difference to their decision.
Less pain for you. Of course, you may be laughing out loud at this sweeping generalisation of probably one of the most painful experiences a woman ever goes through, but it is proven that being in familiar surroundings gives women more control over how to deal with labour pains. There is then less chance of them producing the adrenaline hormone, which interrupts labour hormones and actually causes labour to be slower and more painful.
Lower rate of postnatal infections for both you and baby. It’s now considered an urban myth that you are safer giving birth in a hospital than at home. Low risk mums with straightforward pregnancies are deemed to be as safe at home as in hospital.

Needless to say, there are situations where expectant mums do not have the choice and need to give birth in a hospital environment, be it that she needs a cesarean, has had a higher risk pregnancy in some way, or due to not having suitable facilities or space at home.

For more information on birth or to find out if home or hospital is right for you, visit www.nct.org.uk, where you can find a wealth of information and help.

Separation Anxiety: When Does It Become A Problem?

The thought of hiring a nanny for the first time can be a daunting one for any parent. Mixed with the added concern about whether or not your child will take well to the nanny (and vice-versa!), the last thing you might consider is whether or not your little one is actually ok with you leaving for work each day – a situation that is probably totally new to them.

You and your child may both experience an element of separation anxiety as and when you return to work, which if course is entirely natural. If, however, you are worried about the level of anxiety your child is experiencing, or if this continues for longer than you think is natural for your child, it may be time to look further into how you and your nanny can help ease the situation.

What is child separation anxiety?

This is a normal part of child development, and can occur from as young as 8months. As the child gets older, it should fade away. Sometimes, however, a child’s fear about separation seems resurface from nowhere after time, or to build up more as time passes. If anxieties are prominent enough to get in the way of school or other activities, this can be a sign that a child has a separation anxiety disorder, and you may want to call on the help of a professional. There are also lots of things that as a parent or a nanny you can do to help.

Some common symptoms of separation anxiety becoming a disorder:

Complaints from the child of feeling physically ill, such as tummy ache or head ache upon separation or just before.
An irrational fear that something terrible may happen to a loved one whilst separated from them.
Nightmares about separation from loved ones.
Fear of going to school or nursery, or a straight refusal of doing so.
Reluctance to go to sleep, for fear of being alone.

Why might my child have a separation anxiety disorder?

Getting to the bottom of the reasons behind a child’s separation anxiety disorder makes you much more likely to help them. The following are common reasons that your child may be experiencing this:

Your anxieties. Parent’s own insecurities and anxieties about separation from the child are felt by your child more than you may think, and it is possible that the child is feeding from them, and learning part of this behaviour from you. Don’t panic if this rings true with you – as soon as you act in a more relaxed way around your child, they should begin to respond.
A change in normal routine – this is likely to be the case if you have recently introduced a nanny and are going back to work.
Any recent stressful situations – this might include moving house, a new sibling being born, falling out with a best friend, or the loss of a beloved pet.

Dealing with child separation anxiety disorder – Tips for parents:

Let your child get to know a new caregiver first. If you need to leave your child with a new nanny who they do not know, give them a chance to get to know each other while you’re still around, so they feel safe.
Create a positive spin. Reassuring your child that mummy and daddy are going away for a little while, but will always be home in a matter of hours, helps to give them something positive to focus on when you leave.
Talk it through. Getting down to your child’s physical level, listening to what they say and explaining that you understand how they are feeling can really help. Just as much as adults, children pick up on when someone is trying to understand them, and are likely to feel comforted by this.
Leave without fuss. Instead of reacting to your child’s anxiety by making a fanfare when you leave the house, kiss them goodbye, tell them that you will be back within a matter of hours and go.
Set boundaries. Make sure your child knows that although you understand how they are feeling and are trying to help, there are also rules that need to be followed.
Give praise. Make sure that any accomplishments, even seemingly small ones like eating all of their dinner, is praised, to help the child feel good about themselves as often as possible.

Dealing with child separation anxiety disorder – Tips for nannies:

Consistency. If you feel that a child you are looking after may have a separation anxiety disorder, try to ease them in to being in your care by continuing as much as possible with any routines they had before. The child is far less likely to feel that things are totally different without mummy or daddy there.
Listen. It’s vital to build a sense of trust up with the child, and making them feel that you want to listen to how they feel and understand them will help them to open up and feel at ease with you.
No distractions. If a child is distressed after a parent has left for the day, explain calmly that you are there to talk to them about their feelings, and give them time to come round, instead of distracting them with something else. The child is more likely to trust you and feel in control of the situation.
Give praise. Just like with parents, children will benefit by feeling a sense of achievement and being praised for any accomplishments.
Stay in control, calm and firm. Make sure the child is aware that you are the boss for the time their parents are away. The separation from their main authority figure is enough for a child with severe separation anxiety, without them feeling as though there is no authority there for them at all.

If you feel that a child is suffering from a case of separation anxiety disorder, and the above tips are not enough to help, it’s best to refer to a GP who can offer further advice.

Summer 2012 Fun Activities With The Kids!

With the days finally drawing out, and the smell of Summer hanging optimistically in the air, comes a wonderful time to think about doing things outdoors with the little ones. However – many of us feel a sensation of mild panic – how will we fill the long Summer days, and make the most of the weeks on end where there is no school or nursery to take over?

Children love being outside when the weather is fine, they can talk louder, jump higher, run faster and get dirtier. So what better excuse to lock away the games consoles and DVDs, and get some good old fashioned colour in their cheeks?! For the good of childminders, nannies and parents alike, here are our top ideas to keep children of mixed age groups occupied in the great outdoors (good old Blighty weather-dependant of course!):

Nature Drawing

If you have some woodland locally, or would prefer to just explore the garden, this is a great opportunity to wander around with sketchpads and take advantage of getting children to draw what they see. Whether it is sketching flowers, worms, trees or simply scribbling with some colour pencils for smaller tots, this is a lovely way of getting their creative juices flowing. This is also a great way to teach children the names of trees and flowers at the same time, and gives them something to stick on the wall once they get back inside.

Host your own back garden Olympics!

What better an activity for this Summer, whilst the professionals are battling it out in London, why not get into the spirit in your own way by setting up an Olympics style tournament for the children? The back garden, or local park are perfect locations, and kids will love choosing what ‘events’ they would like to compete in, be it running races, jumping into a sandpit, throwing bean bags as far as possible or whatever ideas they have! From making signs, leader boards and marking out tracks, there are many hours of fun to be had and you are sure to have stress-free bed-times after all the exercise!

Teddy bears picnic

No matter how many children you are responsible for, a teddy bears picnic is a great way for them to feel that their friends are included – whether they are fellow play mates, or a host of teddy bear friends! Set up beside a big tree for shade, cover picnic tables with gingham table cloths, and have large picnic blankets for the kids and their special friends to sit on. Make sure you send each special teddy his own invitation, and make place name cards for each one. Make some simple teddy ears for each child, by attaching ovals of brown felt to basic headbands, and paint the end of each little nose with black face paint, to make them really feel like one of their fluffy friends. Oh, and don’t forget to sing ‘If you go down to the woods today….’

Cycling

What’s that saying again – once you learn how to ride a bike you never forget?! Well, prove that you haven’t by hiring bikes with the kids and going on a designated route, or simply hitting the park for the morning. If you look after children who are too small to ride, bikes with baby seats are available to hire, and mean that everyone can be involved. www.cyclehireinfo.com offers great information and advice about hiring bikes all over the UK.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure you get out there and enjoy the good weather whilst its here! Why not let us know what you plan to get up to by posting your summer activities onto our Facebook page?

Tips for Hiring a Babysitter

Hiring a babysitter for the first time can be a daunting thing. Leaving your child in the care of another is always going to be difficult, especially in the evenings as bedtime can be a funny time of day for children.

Many parents utilise the services of a local babysitter, often the teenage daughter of a friend of the family, but not everybody can do this. If you don’t know anybody to babysit your children, you may think about using a babysitter agency or looking online using a service such as nannyjob.co.uk’s babysitting section, which is free for parents and childcarers.

Why search for a babysitter online?

Most parents are turning to online ads when searching for a babysitter because it’s cheap, or even free. You also get a wide choice of babysitters and are likely to find someone who lives very local to you. You can also interview many different candidates to find one who suits you, or even two or three regular sitters so you’re not relying on just one person?

What do you need to remember when looking online?

Anyone can advertise themselves as a babysitter online so you need to be careful about checking qualifications and references. You should always meet the babysitter before leaving your children with them and ask to see any childcare or first aid qualifications, a CRB or DBS check and take up references. Remember if you have any concerns you don’t have to hire them!

Why use a nanny or babysitter agency?

When you use a reputable babysitter agency, you can be reassured that the babysitters you’re put in touch with are responsible. Depending on the requirements of the agency you use, they may have extensive childcare experience and relevant qualifications. They may be currently practicing childminders, meaning that they will be Ofsted registered and CRB checked, nursery workers or nannies who have been placed by the agency.

Another great reason to use an agency to find a babysitter is that you are usually able to book months in advance, if needs be. Many agencies will also do their best to meet last-minute needs too (with just four or five hours notice), but booking in advance will give you the best chance of getting the babysitter you want.

How will my children cope with being left with a stranger?

The one disadvantage to using an agency is that it often isn’t practical to arrange a meeting beforehand for your children to get acquainted. However, this can usually be overcome by booking the babysitter to come an hour or so before you plan to go out, and by making your first excursion a short, local one. It will cost a little more but it is a worthwhile investment to know that your children are happy, and to ensure that you can enjoy your evening without worrying.

Babysitters who seek work through agencies often have lots of childcare experience, they will be very capable of putting you and your children at ease. If the children will be in bed before the babysitter arrives, it is advisable to tell them that somebody else will be looking after them should they wake in the night. Some parents choose to book the babysitter to come before bedtime, and have her help with the bedtime routine so that the children are settled well and aware of the babysitter’s presence. If you source your babysitter online you can ask them to come round another time when the children are awake because you only pay for the time you’re using.

Once you have found a local babysitter that you and your children get on with, you will usually be able to continue to book them in advance, although if you use an agency you will still need to go through the agency, so the ‘stranger issue’ will cease to be a problem.

Which is safer?

This is the biggest worry of any parent who is going to use a babysitter. The safety and well being of the children must always be the top priority.

If you find a babysitter yourself you have much more control over who you leave your children with and you can find more than one sitter who will get to know your children. The downside is you need to check their background carefully yourself and relying on one sitter who may have other clients means you aren’t guaranteed a sitter when you need one.

When you use an agency although you may not know the babysitter who arrives at your house, a reputable agency will assure you that they would have been background checked and vetted, with plenty of experience and references. Some babysitters on the agency’s books will likely be CRB checked also, giving you yet another level of reassurance.

Babysitting Jobs: What to Expect

If you are new to babysitting jobs, you may be nervous about what to expect when you turn up at the home of a new family. Even if you have had childcare experience before, you could be worried about bonding with the children, trying to carry out the parents’ wishes and keeping the children happy at the same time.

If you’re about to start venturing into the world of babysitting jobs, this article may be able to help you. Following are some of the challenges that babysitters face, and tips on how to deal with them.

Unhappy Children
It’s very possible that the children in your care may become upset when the parents leave, or they may begin to miss them later on. The best way to deal with this is to allow them to express their feelings and empathise with them – telling them that you understand their upset, and that you promise to keep them safe, will go a long way. Resist the urge to distract them out of their upset. Offer activities to do, by all means, but trying to ‘cheer them up’ constantly will only make them feel as though their feelings don’t matter.

Unruly Children
Some children deal with their difficult feelings by behaving in an unruly manner. They might refuse to eat the food their parents have left, insist that their mum said they could stay up late, or refuse point blank to go to bed. Some babysitters can feel that the children are ‘ganging up’ on them, and testing their authority. This may well be the case.

The most important thing to do is to stay calm and light-hearted. If the children see that they are rattling you, their behaviour may well continue. Make sure you are absolutely clear on the rules before the parents leave – for example, what time the children should be in bed, or how much TV they are allowed to watch – so that if they try to tell you otherwise, you won’t be swayed. The parents will much prefer you ask them the same thing three times before they leave than to deal with a call from you at 9pm, asking you to clarify bedtime. Write down the information so you have it to hand.

Emergency Situations
Thankfully, emergency situations are not common situations to have to deal with at babysitting jobs, but you should still be prepared:
Have a list of emergency contact numbers available – the parents mobile numbers, the numbers of the children’s grandparents, and one other contact number of someone close to the children, just in case
Be sure to have enough spare change on you to pay for a taxi should you need to use one in an emergency
Take your mobile phone with you, and make sure you have credit (and a fully charged battery)
Be prepared to use first aid. Attend a paediatric first aid course prior to your first babysitting job if you can – if not, seek first aid tutorial videos from a reputable source online on common problems such as choking and resuscitation, and take a real first aid course as soon as possible.

Babysitting

We all remember having a babysitter at some point in our childhoods. Usually a babysitter was a trusted family friend, or a familiar and responsible neighbourhood teen.

Babysitting can be undertaken by anybody, qualified or not. There is no legal lower age limit for babysitting, however the NSPCC recommend that any babysitter should be over the age of 16.

Babysitting is somewhat of a hybrid job, somewhere between nannying and childminding. The babysitting usually occurs in the child’s home, but babysitters aren’t generally required for the same long hours as a nanny would be. Babysitting usually entails just a few hours at a time, often in the evening when the children are already in bed.

Babysitting is usually thought of as an odd job for a teenager or older sibling, but it can be a great way to make extra money on top of your normal job. Many childminders and nursery nurses offer babysitting services for evenings and weekends. Babysitting is a good way to top up your earnings, as the money is normally rather good.

So, what do you need to do in order to make good money as a babysitter?

Babysitting Courses

There are many courses available nowadays that will give you the basic skills you need to be a good babysitter. These courses usually teach basic first aid, child development, early childhood education and the importance of play. Of course, these things can be learnt elsewhere – and many babysitters don’t have any formal qualifications – but it is reassuring to parents if you can show them proof of your skills.

First Aid

It is very wise for anybody to have up-to-date, basic first aid knowledge – especially those of us who spend any amount of time looking after children. However, to ensure that the children in your care are as safe as possible – and to give you the edge over other babysitters – it is advisable to undertake an in-depth first aid course, with a focus on first aid for babies and young children (assuming that’s the age group you’ll be working with).

Own Transport

This isn’t essential for all babysitting jobs, but it may come in very useful. You can’t always rely on the parents to drop you home when you are finished, and you may finish too late in the evening for public transport (depending on where you live, of course). Make sure you always have spare change for a taxi, should you need one.

Set Rates

When applying for babysitting jobs, you should be able to give the family a quote for your services. It is perfectly acceptable to charge more for evening, weekend and bank holiday babysitting, as they are considered to be unsociable hours. It is also worth considering working ‘special’ nights such as New Years Eve, when babysitters are traditionally paid a lot more than usual.

A Contract

If you regular babysit for a family and it is more of a job as they expect you to cook a meal, do homework or bath and put the children to be it may be wise to have a contract in place.

Also, don’t forget that you may need to complete a tax return if you are babysitting regularly and earning a certain amount of money. You should seek further advice from HMRC if you are unsure.