Maybe Baby….? Reasons You Might Not Know You’re Pregnant (Until You’re In Labour!)

A 21 year old British female soldier gave birth while serving on the front line in Afghanistan while not realising she was pregnant – even despite an 8km run as part of her training! Although born almost 5 weeks early, mum and baby are both in a stable condition and are due to be flying home in the next few days.

Yes, if you’ve ever given birth, this is REALLY hard to imagine! Most of us put on at least a couple of stone, and by the end of pregnancy feel very much as though it is dominating our entire being, so it is difficult to imagine how anybody could get to the later stages of pregnancy and not realise it. Surely she felt SOMETHING, right?! Well, in some cases women do not show a bump and continue to have periods for the duration of the pregnancy.

Research conducted in Germany in 2002 found that 25 out of 475 mothers did not realise they were pregnant until they went into labour.

‘How can this be?’ we hear you ask…. As ever, the Oracle that is Nannyjob comes to the rescue with the most common reasons this might happen:

Body weight

The extra pounds associated with pregnancy may not be as noticeable for women who are already overweight. Excess body fat, especially around the stomach area, can help hide the presence of a baby – even from its mother. It’s also important to note that not all pregnant women carry their unborn babies similarly, which influences how large and round a woman’s belly may appear. If baby is growing tucked high under the ribs, or settles in a breach position, it can be much harder to detect pregnancy.

Few side effects

Most pregnancies induce morning sickness, tender breasts, headaches, food cravings, back pain, soreness and weight gain. Since the hormones related to pregnancy affect different women in different ways, it’s not surprising that some experience different pains and sensations, and rarely some experience barely any at all.

Irregular menstrual cycles

Occasionally, pregnant women continue to experience period-like bleeding, which deceives them into thinking they’re not pregnant.

Stress

Stress can negatively affect a woman’s attitude toward pregnancy. Immense pressure and distress can push even the healthiest of women to deny the reality of pregnancy. Stress can affect the regularity of a woman’s menstrual cycle, so a woman who misses a period because she’s pregnant may falsely attribute her irregularity to stress

An inactive baby

Whether the baby rests in such a way that makes its movements hard to detect or it’s simply less active than others babies, movement in the womb — or lack thereof — can shape a woman’s perception of her pregnancy.

Mistaking pregnancy symptoms with another health issue

In some circumstances, a woman might not know she’s pregnant because she believes her pregnancy symptoms are caused by some other health problem. Women with a history of ovarian complications such as tumours or cysts may attribute discomfort or pain to their previous condition.

Source: Discovery Fit & Health

Here at Nannyjob we wish the British soldier and her new baby all the very best, and a safe journey back to their family in the UK.

Paternity Leave – Do Dads Get A Fair Deal?

When it comes to statutory paternity leave, how happy are we as parents? The lines in which specific gender roles once fitted have become less and less defined over time when it comes to work and child rearing, so what was once seen as a bonus amount of time for daddy to spend with his new baby, can now be seen as unfairly short.

The first few weeks of a baby’s life bring about some of the most precious moments we will ever spend with them, as well as probably one of the biggest culture shocks! Most parents would agree that having both of them around at this time to support one another – as well as baby, is hugely important. So with paternity leave at a standard of 2 weeks against the 52 weeks that mums get for maternity leave, do dads get a tough deal from the government?

Research in 2010 showed that new fathers with long enough service at a company were entitled to £124.88 a week for two weeks paternity leave, or 90% of their average weekly wage if that was lower. Assuming a 40 hour working week, this figure came in far below the minimum wage!

It’s a very confusing message to the modern dad… one who is made to believe that ‘co-parenting’ and working spouses each taking equal roles in child care are the done thing. Indeed just 29% of people now believing that parenting is solely a mothers job. Yet fathers are given little or no choice over how much time they can spend away from work and with his child at the beginning of this ‘equal’ new role he and his spouse have taken.

Damion Queva, owner of top dad’s magazine FQ, can see an argument from both fathers and an employers view points:

“There are a lot of very good businesses which already allow paternity leave beyond the statutory minimum. They recognise that a happy employee with a good work life balance will be a loyal employee… At the same time, I think it is reasonable for workers to give plenty of notice, clear their desks before they go off, maybe come in a bit earlier and leave a bit later before their leave starts.

“Times have changed, and so have our priorities, but that applies to employers as well as their employees.”

Are you a Dad who wishes for more paternity leave? Are you a parent who has come up with an innovative way round this problem that you’re willing to share?! Either way, post a comment to the blog or our Facebook page with your thoughts…

Childbirth: 5 Benefits Of Being A ‘Stay At Home’ Mum

Hands up if you spent a toe-curling hour of each Wednesday night over the last few months glued to the TV set, watching from behind a pillow as the ever popular ‘One Born Every Minute‘ quite literally delivered step-by-step, real-life, and often very graphic footage of hospital births into your front room … ?!? And hands up if watching it has made you ask yourself whether or not your next (or your first) child would be born on a maternity ward, or actually born in the comfort of that very aforementioned front room?!

There is still a huge proportion of women who opt for home births instead of hospital births, for a number of different reasons.

Throughout human history, women have always given birth in a familiar place, especially in the days when giving birth in a hospital, with it’s incredibly high infection rates, was more dangerous than at home. Not until almost 1940 did hospital-birth mortality rates in the Western world drop below those of home deliveries.

Even now, babies are still born at home in most places around the world. Although the move from birth at home to the hospital started in the 18th century, giving birth at home was the most common way in most countries until around 1950.

5 Benefits of modern day home birth:

One on one midwifery care. You get to know your midwife and know that she will be the person delivering baby, instead of whoever is on a hospital maternity ward on the day of your labour.
Start as you mean to go on. Other family members can be present, and the environment that you have set up for your new arrival is the one that he will immediately sense as he enters the world.
Less anxiety for you. You’re at home, in familiar surroundings, without hearing the cries of other labouring women or feeling any ‘white coat syndrome’. To some women this in itself can make all the difference to their decision.
Less pain for you. Of course, you may be laughing out loud at this sweeping generalisation of probably one of the most painful experiences a woman ever goes through, but it is proven that being in familiar surroundings gives women more control over how to deal with labour pains. There is then less chance of them producing the adrenaline hormone, which interrupts labour hormones and actually causes labour to be slower and more painful.
Lower rate of postnatal infections for both you and baby. It’s now considered an urban myth that you are safer giving birth in a hospital than at home. Low risk mums with straightforward pregnancies are deemed to be as safe at home as in hospital.

Needless to say, there are situations where expectant mums do not have the choice and need to give birth in a hospital environment, be it that she needs a cesarean, has had a higher risk pregnancy in some way, or due to not having suitable facilities or space at home.

For more information on birth or to find out if home or hospital is right for you, visit www.nct.org.uk, where you can find a wealth of information and help.

Separation Anxiety: When Does It Become A Problem?

The thought of hiring a nanny for the first time can be a daunting one for any parent. Mixed with the added concern about whether or not your child will take well to the nanny (and vice-versa!), the last thing you might consider is whether or not your little one is actually ok with you leaving for work each day – a situation that is probably totally new to them.

You and your child may both experience an element of separation anxiety as and when you return to work, which if course is entirely natural. If, however, you are worried about the level of anxiety your child is experiencing, or if this continues for longer than you think is natural for your child, it may be time to look further into how you and your nanny can help ease the situation.

What is child separation anxiety?

This is a normal part of child development, and can occur from as young as 8months. As the child gets older, it should fade away. Sometimes, however, a child’s fear about separation seems resurface from nowhere after time, or to build up more as time passes. If anxieties are prominent enough to get in the way of school or other activities, this can be a sign that a child has a separation anxiety disorder, and you may want to call on the help of a professional. There are also lots of things that as a parent or a nanny you can do to help.

Some common symptoms of separation anxiety becoming a disorder:

Complaints from the child of feeling physically ill, such as tummy ache or head ache upon separation or just before.
An irrational fear that something terrible may happen to a loved one whilst separated from them.
Nightmares about separation from loved ones.
Fear of going to school or nursery, or a straight refusal of doing so.
Reluctance to go to sleep, for fear of being alone.

Why might my child have a separation anxiety disorder?

Getting to the bottom of the reasons behind a child’s separation anxiety disorder makes you much more likely to help them. The following are common reasons that your child may be experiencing this:

Your anxieties. Parent’s own insecurities and anxieties about separation from the child are felt by your child more than you may think, and it is possible that the child is feeding from them, and learning part of this behaviour from you. Don’t panic if this rings true with you – as soon as you act in a more relaxed way around your child, they should begin to respond.
A change in normal routine – this is likely to be the case if you have recently introduced a nanny and are going back to work.
Any recent stressful situations – this might include moving house, a new sibling being born, falling out with a best friend, or the loss of a beloved pet.

Dealing with child separation anxiety disorder – Tips for parents:

Let your child get to know a new caregiver first. If you need to leave your child with a new nanny who they do not know, give them a chance to get to know each other while you’re still around, so they feel safe.
Create a positive spin. Reassuring your child that mummy and daddy are going away for a little while, but will always be home in a matter of hours, helps to give them something positive to focus on when you leave.
Talk it through. Getting down to your child’s physical level, listening to what they say and explaining that you understand how they are feeling can really help. Just as much as adults, children pick up on when someone is trying to understand them, and are likely to feel comforted by this.
Leave without fuss. Instead of reacting to your child’s anxiety by making a fanfare when you leave the house, kiss them goodbye, tell them that you will be back within a matter of hours and go.
Set boundaries. Make sure your child knows that although you understand how they are feeling and are trying to help, there are also rules that need to be followed.
Give praise. Make sure that any accomplishments, even seemingly small ones like eating all of their dinner, is praised, to help the child feel good about themselves as often as possible.

Dealing with child separation anxiety disorder – Tips for nannies:

Consistency. If you feel that a child you are looking after may have a separation anxiety disorder, try to ease them in to being in your care by continuing as much as possible with any routines they had before. The child is far less likely to feel that things are totally different without mummy or daddy there.
Listen. It’s vital to build a sense of trust up with the child, and making them feel that you want to listen to how they feel and understand them will help them to open up and feel at ease with you.
No distractions. If a child is distressed after a parent has left for the day, explain calmly that you are there to talk to them about their feelings, and give them time to come round, instead of distracting them with something else. The child is more likely to trust you and feel in control of the situation.
Give praise. Just like with parents, children will benefit by feeling a sense of achievement and being praised for any accomplishments.
Stay in control, calm and firm. Make sure the child is aware that you are the boss for the time their parents are away. The separation from their main authority figure is enough for a child with severe separation anxiety, without them feeling as though there is no authority there for them at all.

If you feel that a child is suffering from a case of separation anxiety disorder, and the above tips are not enough to help, it’s best to refer to a GP who can offer further advice.

Summer 2012 Fun Activities With The Kids!

With the days finally drawing out, and the smell of Summer hanging optimistically in the air, comes a wonderful time to think about doing things outdoors with the little ones. However – many of us feel a sensation of mild panic – how will we fill the long Summer days, and make the most of the weeks on end where there is no school or nursery to take over?

Children love being outside when the weather is fine, they can talk louder, jump higher, run faster and get dirtier. So what better excuse to lock away the games consoles and DVDs, and get some good old fashioned colour in their cheeks?! For the good of childminders, nannies and parents alike, here are our top ideas to keep children of mixed age groups occupied in the great outdoors (good old Blighty weather-dependant of course!):

Nature Drawing

If you have some woodland locally, or would prefer to just explore the garden, this is a great opportunity to wander around with sketchpads and take advantage of getting children to draw what they see. Whether it is sketching flowers, worms, trees or simply scribbling with some colour pencils for smaller tots, this is a lovely way of getting their creative juices flowing. This is also a great way to teach children the names of trees and flowers at the same time, and gives them something to stick on the wall once they get back inside.

Host your own back garden Olympics!

What better an activity for this Summer, whilst the professionals are battling it out in London, why not get into the spirit in your own way by setting up an Olympics style tournament for the children? The back garden, or local park are perfect locations, and kids will love choosing what ‘events’ they would like to compete in, be it running races, jumping into a sandpit, throwing bean bags as far as possible or whatever ideas they have! From making signs, leader boards and marking out tracks, there are many hours of fun to be had and you are sure to have stress-free bed-times after all the exercise!

Teddy bears picnic

No matter how many children you are responsible for, a teddy bears picnic is a great way for them to feel that their friends are included – whether they are fellow play mates, or a host of teddy bear friends! Set up beside a big tree for shade, cover picnic tables with gingham table cloths, and have large picnic blankets for the kids and their special friends to sit on. Make sure you send each special teddy his own invitation, and make place name cards for each one. Make some simple teddy ears for each child, by attaching ovals of brown felt to basic headbands, and paint the end of each little nose with black face paint, to make them really feel like one of their fluffy friends. Oh, and don’t forget to sing ‘If you go down to the woods today….’

Cycling

What’s that saying again – once you learn how to ride a bike you never forget?! Well, prove that you haven’t by hiring bikes with the kids and going on a designated route, or simply hitting the park for the morning. If you look after children who are too small to ride, bikes with baby seats are available to hire, and mean that everyone can be involved. www.cyclehireinfo.com offers great information and advice about hiring bikes all over the UK.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure you get out there and enjoy the good weather whilst its here! Why not let us know what you plan to get up to by posting your summer activities onto our Facebook page?

Nanny Contract: Why and How

When you hire a nanny, you become an employer. And as an employer, you will need to provide your nanny with a contract detailing important information about her responsibilities as your employee, and your responsibilities as her employer.

Why Do We Need a Written Contract?
Verbal agreements are legally binding, but they are open to interpretation. Furthermore, providing a written contract shows that you take your responsibilities as her employer seriously, and that is important. Feeling valued is a big part of being a happy nanny – and happy nannies are usually great nannies.

Employment law will protect both of you regardless of whether or not you have a nanny contract in place, but a contract is personal to your own circumstances. Employment law covers the basics.

What Should be Covered in a Nanny Contract?
There are two schools of thought here. Some believe that a nanny contract should be extensive, covering things like duties and house rules (if the nanny is live-in). Others say that the contract should cover the basics, and that the details of day-to-day tasks and responsibilities should be covered in a separate job description document. Either way, your nanny contract should always include the following points:

Your name and the nanny’s name
Place of work
Start date (and end date, if the nanny is filling a temporary position such as maternity leave)
Job title
Weekly working hours
Details of the nanny’s salary – including when and how often she will be paid
Details of the nanny’s holiday entitlement
Details of the nanny’s sick leave entitlement
Details of the nanny’s pension (if there is no pension plan, this should be stated)
Notice period
Probation/trial period (if there is one)
Information on disciplinary procedures
Details of sackable offences.

How Can I Be Sure Our Contract is Legally Satisfactory?
If you use a nanny agency to hire your nanny, they will be able to provide you with a sample contract that you can amend as necessary. If you wish to create your own contract from scratch, it may be a wise idea to seek advice from a professional.

The nanny contract should, ideally, be drawn up and signed by both parties (and the nanny provided with a copy) before the nanny starts work. In any case, the contract should always be dealt with within one or two months of the nanny’s employment start date.

What If We Want to Change the Contract?
If you and your nanny wish to change any terms on your nanny contract, you are free to do so at any time. A new contract should be drawn up and signed by both parties, making the old contract obsolete.

Nanny Interview Tips: What to Ask

When you interview for a nanny job, it’s not just you going under scrutiny. The interview is an opportunity for both nanny and employer to figure out if they are a good fit for one another.

During your interview, there will be a time that your prospective employer asks you if you have any questions for them. So what kind of questions should you be asking?

Parenting Style

It is very important that you and your employer are in agreement with how the children should be raised. You need to feel comfortable employing the same or similar discipline methods as the parents would use. It would not be fair for your employer to expect you to use, for example, time-outs, if that is not something you are comfortable with – instead, they should find a nanny whose childcare philosophy meshes with their own. Similarly, the parents need to know that their own efforts to discipline their children are not going to be undermined when they are in the care of their nanny. Be sure that you are both on the same page. It is worth bringing a written list of specific questions relating to common situations – for example, what would the parents do if an older sibling hit a younger one, or if a sibling is repeatedly snatching from another.

Holidays

By law, nannies are entitled to 5.6 weeks of holiday per year, which includes 4 working weeks of standard leave and 8 bank holidays as paid days off. Some nannies will be offered more holiday than this, but this is the statutory amount that, by law, you are entitled to. When interviewing for a new nanny job, it is worth discussing how the timings of your holidays will be arranged. Unlike most other jobs, it generally isn’t possible to take time off whenever you feel like you need a break, because the parents will need to find additional childcare for that time which can be difficult to do. What many nannies agree with their employers is that they will choose when to take two of their weeks, and the employers will choose the other two weeks – they may choose the time to coincide with when they will be taking a family holiday, or when the parents themselves have time off work. Finding out where each of you stand when it comes to holiday now will save having to deal with aggravation later down the line.

Other Duties

It is essential to find out at an early stage if you will be required to complete any other duties on top of your childcare duties. Housekeeping arrangements can be somewhat of a bugbear if not dealt with early on. Obviously, you will need to do a basic amount of housekeeping in order to keep the home running smoothly whilst you are in charge, but it is worth finding out if your employer expects you to do anything on top of the required amount of laundry, cooking and picking up after yourself and the children. Nannies are generally not housekeepers too, but some will happily take on extra housekeeping duties – find out what your employer expects.

Private Tutor 101

What is a private tutor?

A private tutor is a highly knowledgeable, usually somewhat qualified individual who teaches students privately to help them develop their knowledge of certain subjects. Tutoring can be a fulfilling and very lucrative part-time job – or even full time, if you gain enough students.

Who would hire a private tutor?

Private tutors teach tutees of all age groups, from very young children to mature adults. There are a huge number of reasons why someone might hire a private tutor – private tutoring is popular with many different people. They may be:

A teenager wanting to improve on a certain subject that they are struggling with for their GCSE’s
Parents of a home educated child, who feel that their own knowledge or teaching skills in some subjects is lacking
A mature student (or indeed any student) who feels the need to ‘bulk up’ their learning outside of school hours
Anybody who feels they need a more tailored approach to education than a school environment can offer

How much will a private tutor cost?

Depending on the subject and level of education, you can expect to pay somewhere between £20-£35 per hour for private tutoring. However, many trainee teachers will offer their services as a private tutor for much less than this as a way to hone their teaching skills further. If the private tutor will have to travel, it is generally expected that the tutee will pay their travel expenses.

I want to become a private tutor. What qualifications do I need?

You will need to have an excellent level of knowledge in the subject you wish to teach, plus the ability to tailor your teaching techniques to your student. Excellent interpersonal skills are of a very high priority. It is not necessary to have a teaching qualification, however your level of formal qualification will dictate how much you can charge. PGCE graduates will be able to charge more than those who haven’t qualified yet, just as experienced teachers will be able to charge more than NQT’s (Newly Qualified Teachers)

How can I find work as a private tutor?

You can advertise your services anywhere you wish – local papers, shop windows and billboards are popular choices. However, arguably the best way to advertise is through specialist agencies. These of course will charge a fee but many feel that it is a small price to pay to ensure your ad reaches those who want to see it. Many private tutors find work solely through word-of-mouth recommendations, so do a good job and you may find your tutees spread the word!

Is there anything else I need to know?

As a private tutor you will be self-employed, so you will need to deal with your own income tax and National Insurance contributions. Also, it would be very beneficial for you to obtain an enhanced CRB (Criminal Records Bureau) check. At the present time it is not possible for individuals to obtain these, so signing up with an agency for private tutors would be a good idea.

A Career As A Nanny, Is It For You?

What is a nanny?

A nanny is a professional childcare provider. A nanny works in a similar way to a childminder, with the difference that she will work in the client’s home rather than in her own home.

What does a nanny do?

Many people are under the assumption that being a nanny is easy. They think that it’s simply a case of playing with somebody else’s children all day. Well, there is playing involved, but there’s a lot more to it than that.

A nanny will usually work long hours, and will spend the majority of her time ferrying children around to various activities, doing the school run, preparing meals and tidying up after the children. As a nanny, you will earn a reasonably good wage but you will not usually get very much time off.

Being a nanny is hard graft. You will need to have excellent interpersonal skills and a high level of patience. As well as looking after the children, you will likely be responsible for some housekeeping too – the level of which should be negotiated when drawing up your contract.

However, the rewards are not just monetary. Being a nanny can be an incredibly enjoyable and rewarding job for somebody who loves taking care of children. It is a very important job – the children you care for will remember you for the rest of their lives. You will be the person who is mostly responsible for their day-to-day care, therefore the bond you will forge with them will be strong.

Why a nanny?

All kinds of families hire nannies, but the majority of families that do are busy, full-time working parents. They choose nannies because they are the most convenient solution to their childcare needs. They often start work early and finish late, so they need a childcare provider who will either be on-site (most nannies are live-in nannies) or who will come to the house to work. They haven’t got the time to be dropping off and picking up their children from nursery or from a childminders home.

Additionally, many parents prefer to use a nanny because it can be beneficial emotionally for the children. It is vitally important that children are able to form strong attachments with their carers in their early years. A nanny often becomes like a much-loved relative, or even a third parent. This kind of bond is very important and this may well be the parents’ motivation for choosing a nanny.

What qualifications do I need to be a nanny?

Although you do not technically need any qualifications to be a nanny, employers will be looking for proof of your skills. The N.N.E.B Diploma is widely recognised and, up until recently, was considered to be the only nanny qualification that was necessary. Now, there are many courses you can attend to gain skills, but an N.N.E.B Diploma is what employers will be looking for.

However, many experienced and brilliant nannies will have no formal qualifications. They will have excellent references, though, and many years of experience under their belts.

You will also need to provide an enhanced disclosure to be able to work as a nanny in the UK, and at least a basic first aid certificate.

Please note – for the purpose of this article I have referred to nannies as female. However, there are male nannies out there, but they are not as common as female nannies.

Childcare: Which Provider is Right for You?

Childcare is something that nearly all parents will have to consider at some stage. Nowadays, most parents need to work at least part-time, or they may choose to work. Even those that are full time stay-at-home parents will probably need to utilise the services of a childcare provider at some point during their children’s lives.

There are lots of options available to choose from when it comes to childcare. In this article, we will go over the commonly available childcare providers in the hope that we will make a sometimes-difficult (and often emotional) decision a little easier.

Childminders

Childminders are self-employed childcare professionals who look after children in their own homes, from very young babies to pre-teens. They are usually able to provide flexible hours, and are sometimes able to pick up and drop off children, which can make life a little easier for a busy working parent. Childminder rates across the country vary, but the average is £3.84 per child per hour. The benefits of using a childminder are many, especially for the child who will usually find it easier to settle in than they would at a nursery.

Nurseries

Nurseries provide childcare to many children at once. They generally accept children from a few weeks old, until the age of four. The children are usually cared for in large groups, with the babies being kept separately from the older ones. Many parents prefer to have a childminder or nanny to provide childcare for their little ones because the busy environment of a nursery can be too much for a baby or toddler. However, some children thrive on the stimulating and structured environment of a nursery – it all depends on the child’s individual temperament. Nursery fees vary, but for a child under two it can cost £177 per week for a full-time place – even more in inner London.

Nannies

Nannies provide childcare in the child’s home, and usually live on-site. You would be the nanny’s employer, and therefore would be responsible for paying her tax and NI contributions. Nannies are a popular childcare choice with parents who both work long hours. They are generally the most expensive childcare provider, with their take-home wages ranging from £280-£380 per week. Many parents see this as a small price to pay to have their childcare provider on site, available for unsociable hours if she is needed (although her hours will need to be agreed upon in advance and contracted). There is also an emotional benefit to the children, who will be looked after by the same person each day in a familiar environment.

Au Pairs

Au pairs are usually the cheapest childcare option, as they don’t generally charge a real wage. They will live in your home, so you will be required to feed them and house them, as well as paying them pocket money of a minimum of £65 per week if they are working 25 hours. Au pairs come from other European countries, and come to the UK on au pair schemes to improve their English whilst doing some babysitting to earn money. They will also usually do some housekeeping. Au pairs should be treated as part of the family rather than an employee, and they shouldn’t be required to work the same long hours of a nanny because they need time to study.