How to recognise when your nanny’s had a bad day

I’m sure we’re all familiar with those days that just don’t quite go to plan. You know the ones. Maybe the weather’s bad, one of the children is unwell or the television stops working. Any one of these can turn an okay day, into a really bad day where nothing gets done and you just want to collapse at the end of it.

How would you feel then if your partner or significant other came home to what they deemed a messy house and asked you what you’ve been doing all day whilst they’ve been at work?

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Car Safety Advice for Nannies

A typical aspect of being a nanny involves driving the children you care for to and from activities, appointments, grocery shopping etc.

As a child-carer, your job involves catering to the well-being of the child in your charge. You need to have certain safety measures in place to ensure that everyone makes it from point A to point B safely.

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Do you begrudge your nanny a coffee?

Who pays for your nanny’s coffee when she’s out and about on work time? Does it matter where she is?

Saying yes, all the time means that, unless your nanny is restrained, your kitty expenses are likely to be high, and you may end up resenting paying your nanny to sit in coffee shops and drink coffee that you pay for, even if it is naptime or while your offspring go to ballet/Brownies/boxing. Very few nannies take advantage of their employers’ generosity in this regard, but small expenses certainly mount up, and sitting in coffee shops can easily become a habit rather than an occasional treat even when your children are older.

Most employers place limits on consumption out and about, either to a certain number of meals/trips per week or to specific locations such as soft play areas, which (terrible as the coffee is there) are barely tolerable without some form of beverage. The occasional lunch in a restaurant or coffee and cake in a café teaches children valuable social skills such as interacting with waiting staff and eating quietly and tidily and should generally be encouraged from time to time. A couple of coffees a week is a small price to pay for the goodwill it will get you in return.

Never allowing your nanny the odd coffee, especially at inflated soft play prices, is likely to breed resentment in the other direction. You may have a hard time understanding why you’re paying your nanny to drink coffee and watch your child play but if the choice is between paying for the coffee and denying your child the opportunity to scramble around in a relatively space environment, you’ll probably pick the coffee, because if you don’t pay then your nanny will either seethe quietly or just not go. How do you cope with the mine field of who pays for coffee / lunch if you are out and about with your nanny family? We’d love to hear your thoughts

The True Meaning of Christmas

Amid the shopping, toys, hustle and bustle of Christmas time, it is easy to forget the
real meaning behind it all. Children become carried away with the excitement of the
promise of new toys (and who could blame them?), and parents become fixated with
preparing for the day itself.

It seems that most of us could benefit from taking some time out from the hype as the
big day approaches.

So how can we ensure that we, and our children, remember what Christmas is really
all about?

Giving
The theme of giving runs strong at Christmas. We all know that presents are usually a
substantial part of Christmas excitement – whether we are excited to give or receive.
It’s natural to be excited about receiving gifts, and this shouldn’t be shamed or
quashed – however, placing an emphasis on giving is a wonderful thing also. There
are some really great ways you can do this for children:
• Together with the children, choose some old toys to donate to a charity shop,
refuge or children’s home. This will not only teach the children about the
value of giving to those less fortunate, but it will make space for the new toys
they will get at Christmas. However, the toy-donating shouldn’t be forced, as
it could be very traumatic for a child to unwillingly give away a much loved
toy. They should be able to give freely, or choose not to, or it defies the point
of giving in the first place.
• Encourage children to choose gifts for their siblings and friends themselves,
rather than relying on you to do so.
• Bake some Christmas-themed biscuits, mince pies or other treats together and
take them to a local old people’s home to give out to the residents. Some of
the residents will have few visitors at Christmas time, smiling children bearing
baked goods is bound to cheer a lonely heart.

Family
Christmas truly is a time for family – whether they are blood relatives, or our chosen
family. Today’s world is a big one, and families are often scattered across the globe
rather than living in close-knit communities. If this is the case for you, encourage the
children to make Christmas cards for absent friends and family members who cannot
be with you at this special time of the year. You could even organise a Christmas
carol sing-along over webcam for family members living abroad.

Christmas can also be an emotional time for families who are, sadly, missing some
members. Many people traditionally remember their loved ones who are no longer
with them with small ‘memorial services’ at home. This can be a great way to help
children grieve healthily. Grief is a powerful emotion, and children need to know that
they can express their grief openly with the support of their parents.

So, if you’re feeling the Christmas anxiety creeping in, try to relax and remember
what it’s all about. And most importantly, enjoy yourself!

The Greatest Gift You Can Give This Christmas is Your Time

Forget the presents, simply be present this Christmas!

Think about it honestly. How many times have you noticed yourself being with your child, but you’re not fully engaged? Maybe you were on your phone checking social media or emails. Perhaps you were simply running through all the things you still need to do to prepare for Christmas. Being there, but not being present is something we’re all guilty of occasionally, but Christmas time brings with it a real opportunity to make a change.

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Spooky Fun This Halloween!

Autumn is well and truly here in all it’s rainy finest! To many of us this may induce a collective ‘sigh’ as the nights draw in and we begin to dig out last year’s coats and SADS lamps (or maybe just us here at Nannyjob?!), but for others it means one thing – Halloween fun is just around the corner!

Scary outfits, parties, trick or treating, face painting, spooky decorations and pumpkins all spring to mind, so we’ve got some fantabulous ideas for you and your little ones to make this Halloween the most ghoulish yet!

Party fun

Staying at home and having a party is arguably safer than being out trick or treating, and is also a great chance to get little buddies round to play.

Decorate the house with streamers and props of skeletons and spiders, our favourites are from http://www.sillyjokes.co.uk/occasion/halloween/decor.html.

As well as rocking their very own home made outfits (more on that in a minute!), you can get the kids involved in some spooky games, including:

  • Apple bobbing
  • Wink murder
  • Making mummies (remember to stock up on loo roll for this one! Prizes go to the quickest or best attempt!)
  • Pin the tail on the witch’s cat
  • Halloween treasure hunt in the house or garden
  • Pass the pumpkin (fill an empty pumpkin with treats and play this in the same way as pass the parcel, each time the music stops the winner takes a goody out of the pumpkin, treats getting bigger towards the end!).

Face painting and costume making

Whether your little one wants to be a ghoulish ghost, a wicked witch, a scary skeleton or something entirely different, there are hours of fun to be had designing and making the costumes with them, and going to town with face painting. Here are some fabulous costume ideas from one of our favourite sites, Netmums:

Scary Spider

This an easy costume that’s really effective. Dress your child as a ‘scary spider’ using a black hoodie, black trousers, and black shoes. Make four more legs using two pairs of child’s tights and stuffing them with old stuffing from a pillow.

Grim Reaper

See if you can track down a cheap black hooded cloak from the supermarket to go over the body. Gather up the hair in a white swimming cap. Using face paints,cover your child’s face in white, rimming the eyes black. The final addition is a long stick (perhaps an old walking stick or a broom handle?) onto which you stick a cardboard ‘scythe’ – an easy take on the Grim Reaper!

Walking dead

A nice easy one, adaptable for both boys and girls! Simply get some old clothes and tear holes and rips in them. Cover exposed skin in fake blood. You could also buy some fabric bandaging to wrap around hands and heads (splatter with fake blood for extra effect)! Faces should be daubed in white face paint and powder, with a smattering of blood here and there!

Trick or Treating

Last but not least, classic Halloween fun usually involves traipsing the local neighbourhood and picking up some treats! In these strange times, this is probably something that many of us can’t do or don’t want to do but if you are planning on going out please do so safely and follow the guidance for your Tier. If you’re worried about safety, make sure you or another adult accompany the kids (standing a few feet away of course, so as not to cramp their spooky style!).

A word of advice when out trick or treating – make sure the children understand not to be too serious about the whole ‘trick’ part of this. There are a lot of people who really do get intimidated at Halloween and won’t answer their door, so encourage the children to understand this, and swiftly move on to the next house with no tricks in store!

Make sure you don’t forget to take a fun kitty bag to put all the treats in – decorate yours by sticking on home made pictures of bats, pumpkins and witches!

Have fun and stay spookily safe this Happy Halloween!

Why not share your plans for Halloween on our Nannyjob Facebook page….

Resetting The Body-Clock With Autumn Time Change

When the clocks go back in October, it can be a real nightmare for some families as it can take several weeks or even months to get their children back to sleeping to a civilised hour! Some parents never really manage it resign themselves to being woken early until the clocks change again in spring.

But don’t worry, there is a fun and simple solution to this problem and it takes just one weekend!

Be aware that if your child has a habit of early rising before the clocks change, this may not work. You may need to make additional changes.

The idea is to get your child so exhausted that you break their current habit of waking at a particular time. You can then reset their body-clock based on how much sleep they need each night and putting them to bed at the right according to this.

Friday Night – Bedtime 2-3 hours later than usual

Instead of giving your child dinner at dinner time, give them a snack then give them a bath. Get them dressed then go out for dinner. Take plenty of toys/games and keep them entertained by bringing the different toys/games out one at a time. Travel home with the windows down in the car and the music up or walk home so that they don’t fall asleep on the way. When you get home, do the usual bath (yes, two baths! The first was to wake them up a bit) and bedtime routine and put them to bed 2-3 hours later than usual. The older they are, generally, the later you will need to keep them up.

Don’t expect them to sleep any later the next morning, but do expect them to be a bit over-tired and grumpy by the afternoon. If your child usually has a nap, limit it to 50% of their usual nap time.

Saturday Night – Bedtime 1.5-2.5 hours later than usual

This similar to the first night, so have a snack instead of dinner, then go out to play! Take the torches to the park and have some fun. When you get home, sit down to a nice family meal (you may need to keep the heating down low to keep them awake). Afterwards give them a really long bath (keep adding hot water), and get ready for bed as usual. Put them to bed 1.5-2.5 hours later than usual depending on their age.

Again, your child probably won’t sleep any later their usual wake up time, which will be an hour earlier as the clocks will have gone back at 2am! Limit any naps to 50% of the usual time.

Sunday Night – Bedtime 1-1.5 hours later than usual

Do the usual bedtime routine, just slightly later than usual. Your child should be absolutely exhausted by now and by the third morning they will sleep later. Their body clock has now been reset! Hooray!

For the next few days, maintain a bedtime 30-45 minutes later than you would normally and then on Wednesday or Thursday, go back to their usual bedtime. This helps to stop them falling back to their spring/summer wake-up time.

Most children between the ages of 3 and 8 years need 11-12 hours’ sleep in every 24 hours. 8-11 year-olds generally need 10-11 hours’ sleep.

Set each child’s bedtime based on how many hours’ sleep that individual child needs, and work backwards from when you want them to wake in the morning.  This can sometimes mean that younger children go to bed a little later than older children, but it is worth it if it means that everybody wakes around the same time and nobody is over-tired as a result of being woken by the one little person who doesn’t need as much sleep.

Enjoy resetting your children’s body-clocks, it is fun!!! Spread the word and the parks will be filled with children and torches on one Saturday night in October each year!

Is Childcare Harmful for my Child?

Leaving baby
Most of us know what it’s like to be a first-time Mum going back to work after a period of maternity leave. We consider our childcare options: day nursery or nanny or childminder? Which is best for my child? Can I afford what I want? Will it be ok to leave my baby in the care of someone else?

You wonder (or worry!) how your child will get on with the new minder(s); whether you’re doing the right thing in going back to work and leaving your child with – as is the case most of the time – a complete stranger. And many of us will feel a certain amount of joy, a freedom, a sense of “getting back to normal”, a reclaiming of our identity, in getting back to work.

The naysayers
Then we hear so-called experts such as the psychologist and broadcaster Oliver James claim that mothers of toddlers should avoid working outside the home and leaving young children in the care of others for long periods. In his 2010 book “How Not to F*** Them Up” James wrote that mothers who go out to work and leave their toddlers in day care are to blame for their child’s bad behaviour. James’s views are controversial to say the least.

The best of both worlds?
Is it unnatural to leave your child with someone else while you go out to do a day’s work in order to pay the bills or to further your career or simply to do a job you enjoy? Of course, there are women (and some men) who prefer to stay at home to raise their children but they have to be able to afford to do so. Can working parents have the best of both worlds? Is it possible to go out to work and be confident that the childcare you have chosen is “good enough” for your child?

The data
Recent studies show that childcare is not in fact harmful for children, once it is consistent, i.e. children are not given to one person one day and left with another on another day in a haphazard way, and once it is of a high standard. In other words if you can’t be the one to look after your child you want “second best” to be the very best. This is where careful consideration of your childcare options comes in. One of our previous blog articles, “Choosing Childcare That’s Right for You” is worth a read for more information on making this decision.

The reality
Nowadays most women have no choice but to work and their attitude is usually “I am doing my best”. Working motherhood is a reality so it’s crucial that you find childcare that’s right for you. Rather than assuming you won’t be able to afford a nanny, take a look at the NannyJob website. If you have more than one child, you may find that sending them to a childminder or a nursery can often work out nearly or as expensive. The advantage with a nanny too is that your children will be cared for in their own home by just one person. Alternatively, if you have just one child and wish to reduce your childcare costs, a nannyshare might be worth looking into. Visit our parents section at nannyjob.co.uk to begin your search.

7 Ways to Get Your Baby to Fall Asleep and Stay Asleep

Whether you’re nannying or parenting (or both!) chances are you’ve experienced sleep problems with baby. Here are some tried and tested techniques to help get baby to fall and stay asleep.

Night Parenting Decisions

Develop a realistic attitude about nighttime parenting. Sleeping, like eating, is not a state you can force a baby into. Best you can do is to create a secure environment that allows sleep to overtake your baby. A realistic long- term goal is to help your baby develop a healthy attitude about sleep: that sleep is a pleasant state to enter and a secure state to remain in.

Stay flexible

No single approach will work with all babies all the time or even all the time with the same baby. Don’t persist with a failing experiment. If the “sleep program” isn’t working for your family, drop it. Develop a nighttime parenting style that works for you. Babies have different nighttime temperaments and families have varied lifestyles. Keep working at a style of nighttime parenting that fits the temperament of your baby and your own lifestyle. If it’s working, stick with it. If it’s not, be open to trying other nighttime parenting styles.

Decide where baby sleeps best

There is no right or wrong place for babies to sleep. Wherever all family members sleep the best is the right arrangement for you and your baby. Some babies sleep best in their own crib in their own room, some sleep better in their own crib in the parents’ bedroom. Remember – sleep is not a state you can force your baby into. Sleep must naturally overtake your baby. Your nighttime parenting role is to set the conditions that make sleep attractive and to present cues that suggest to baby that sleep is expected.

Get baby used to a variety of sleep associations

The way an infant goes to sleep at night is the way she expects to go back to sleep when she awakens. So, if your infant is always rocked or nursed to sleep, she will expect to be rocked or nursed back to sleep. Sometimes nurse her off to sleep, sometimes rock her off to sleep, sometimes sing her off to sleep, and sometimes use tape recordings; and switch off with your spouse on putting her to bed.

Daytime mellowing

A peaceful daytime is likely to lead to a restful night. The more attached you are to your baby during the day and the more baby is held and calmed during the day, the more likely this peacefulness is to carry through into the night. If your baby has a restless night, take inventory of unsettling circumstances that may occur during the day: Are you too busy? Are the daycare and the daycare provider the right match for your baby? Does your baby spend a lot of time being held and in-arms by a caregiver, or is he more of a “crib baby” during the day? We have noticed babies who are carried in baby slings for several hours a day settle better at night. Babywearing mellows the infant during the day, behavior that carries over into restfulness at night.

Set predictable and consistent nap routines

Pick out the times of the day that you are most tired, for example 11:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m. Lie down with your baby at these times every day for about a week to get your baby used to a daytime nap routine. This also sets you up to get some much-needed daytime rest rather than be tempted to “finally get something done” while baby is napping. Babies who have consistent nap routines during the day are more likely to sleep longer stretches at night.

Consistent bedtimes and rituals

Babies who enjoy consistent bedtimes and familiar going-to-sleep rituals usually go to sleep easier and stay asleep longer. Yet, because of modern lifestyles, consistent and early bedtimes are not as common, or realistic, as they used to be. Busy two- income parents often don’t get home until six or seven o’clock in the evening, so it’s common for older babies and toddlers to procrastinate the bedtime ritual. This is prime time with their parents, and they are going to milk it for all they can get. In some families, a later afternoon nap and a later bedtime is more practical. Familiar bedtime rituals set the baby up for sleep. The sequence of a warm bath, rocking, nursing, lullabies, etc. set the baby up to feel that sleep is expected to follow. Capitalise on a principle of early infant development: patterns of association. Baby’s developing brain is like a computer, storing thousands of sequences that become patterns. When baby clicks into the early part of the bedtime ritual, he is programmed for the whole pattern that results in drifting off to sleep.