Last week we posted about the ‘two week itch’, that point where the reality of your new job (or nanny) sinks in and you start to find things that you’re not happy with. Hopefully these issues can be resolved by communicating openly about your feelings and expectations and you can move forward happily. Unfortunately sometimes the situation doesn’t improve and you’re faced with a choice of bringing the arrangement to an end or persevering but being unhappy.
In a tough market it can be difficult to take the brave decision to give notice. If you’re still in the probationary period the contractual notice may be very short – perhaps one week instead of four, which doesn’t leave much time to find a new job or find a new nanny. You can give more notice that the minimum required but it’s good practice to agree on an end date and stick to that.
Notice should always be given in writing. You don’t need to give your reasons in the letter, but we would strongly recommend having an honest conversation about why you’re choosing to move on. It’s possible that you can still find a way forward, but equally if you just feel that you’re not a good fit for each other then be open about that. Sometimes it can be difficult to put your finger on exactly what’s up but things you can’t measure such as how similar your childcare styles are or how well a nanny has bonded with the children are very important to a good relationship.
Working through the notice period might feel awkard, because in many ways giving notice is personal rejection. Some employers may choose to pay in lieu of notice and it’s not uncommon to feel concern about a nanny’s commitment to the job once notice has been given by either party. Equally nannies might feel that the trust in the relationship has been broken and that can affect their work and allow resentment to build up. It’s still important to remain polite and respectful and work together for the benefit of the children. Maintaining an effective working relationship in dififcult circumstances is a sign of professionalism and maturity.
Some employers will take the notice period into account when writing a reference and some won’t. Some will refuse to provide a reference altogether but that can leave a nanny in a tricky situation. Employers should be prepared to at least provide a written reference confirming dates and duties, and if it was the employer’s choice to give notice and the reasons for terminating the contract are mentioned in a verbal reference they should make sure these were raised with the nanny and the nanny given opportunities to improve. Where the job was obtained through an agency the agency should be able to confirm to any future employer that it’s not a suspicious gap on the nanny’s CV.
If you need to have this difficult conversation then choose a time when the children are occupied and not just as one of you is about to rush out the door. It’s usually better to put it off for day but have the time to talk. Never leave a letter for the other party to find when you’re not around!