Flexibility: the F word

Flexibility is a buzzword when it comes to childcare. Many parents need someone willing to be a bit flexible with hours to cover unexpected delays and duties to pick up the slack when needed. Most child carers are keen to emphasise their flexibility to maximise their chances of getting a job. But are you using the F-word too much?

Just as our ideas of physical flexibility differ, the types of flexibility different types of childcares often do too. A flexible nursery is a bit like being able to touch your toes with your hands, which is better than only reaching your knees if that’s all another nursery can do for you, but a flexible nanny is more like being able to touch your toes to the back of your head. Even if you don’t touch your toes on a regular basis, it can be reassuring to know that flexibility is there if you need it, just like it can be reassuring to know you have a bit of leeway to cover those unexpected delays.

When choosing childcare options parents should assess how much flexibility they really need – remember needing unusual hours isn’t the same as needing flexible childcare, although you might need someone who is flexible with the hours they’ll agree to work. Different types of childcare are by nature more flexible than others – a nursery has fixed opening and closing times for good reasons, but a childminder has a little more leeway to decide what those are and whether they are willing to make exceptions on an occasional or more regular basis. One flexible childminder might not mind early drop offs or late pickups for core contracted hours, another may mean they  will offer an extended hours service but expect this to be agreed in advance. A nanny, especially a live-in nanny, can give even more flexibility, including late notice and overnight care, but this shouldn’t be taken for granted and should always be compensated accordingly.

Child carers promising flexibility in hours provided therefore need to be careful about what they mean. You might be happy to work up to 10 hours a day and although you don’t mind whether those 10 hours are 5am to 3pm or 11am to 9pm you still expect to clock off when those 10 hours are done. Or maybe you’re happy to occasionally start an hour earlier or finish an hour later but are generally available between 8am and 6pm. Perhaps you’re one of the few happy to commit to a set number of hours over the month whenever the parents need you. All of those are being flexible but option 1 is what a shift worker might mean by flexible childcare, option 2 is what someone with a complicated commute prone to delays might mean.

Flexible working is also a two-way street. The quickest way to turn a relationship sour is to demand full flexibility from a childcare provider and never give any back. Giving a little can build up a store of goodwill for the times you need extra help. As one nanny said ‘I absolutely don’t mind doing later days when I am let off early sometimes.

It’s not just working hours that require flexibility – nannies are often asked to be flexible when it comes to jobs around the home. Most nannies will empty a full kitchen bin or put a coffee cup in the dishwasher, and if it’s been a nightmare morning and the breakfast things are left on the side occasionally then that’s okay too. In general, though, nannies don’t expect to act as housekeepers unless it’s part of the job description, so if a nanny says at interview, they’re flexible on duties it’s well worth finding out what that really means.

Just a little flexibility in return goes a long way, allowing a nanny to run some personal errands during the working day occasionally or accepting that a childminder might need to close earlier on occasion can make a relationship a whole lot smoother.

At the end of the day being truly flexible means accepting that sometimes things are going to be a little different.

7 Ways to Get Your Baby to Fall Asleep and Stay Asleep

Whether you’re nannying or parenting (or both!) chances are you’ve experienced sleep problems with baby. Here are some tried and tested techniques to help get baby to fall and stay asleep.

Night Parenting Decisions

Develop a realistic attitude about nighttime parenting. Sleeping, like eating, is not a state you can force a baby into. Best you can do is to create a secure environment that allows sleep to overtake your baby. A realistic long- term goal is to help your baby develop a healthy attitude about sleep: that sleep is a pleasant state to enter and a secure state to remain in.

Stay flexible

No single approach will work with all babies all the time or even all the time with the same baby. Don’t persist with a failing experiment. If the “sleep program” isn’t working for your family, drop it. Develop a nighttime parenting style that works for you. Babies have different nighttime temperaments and families have varied lifestyles. Keep working at a style of nighttime parenting that fits the temperament of your baby and your own lifestyle. If it’s working, stick with it. If it’s not, be open to trying other nighttime parenting styles.

Decide where baby sleeps best

There is no right or wrong place for babies to sleep. Wherever all family members sleep the best is the right arrangement for you and your baby. Some babies sleep best in their own crib in their own room, some sleep better in their own crib in the parents’ bedroom. Remember – sleep is not a state you can force your baby into. Sleep must naturally overtake your baby. Your nighttime parenting role is to set the conditions that make sleep attractive and to present cues that suggest to baby that sleep is expected.

Get baby used to a variety of sleep associations

The way an infant goes to sleep at night is the way she expects to go back to sleep when she awakens. So, if your infant is always rocked or nursed to sleep, she will expect to be rocked or nursed back to sleep. Sometimes nurse her off to sleep, sometimes rock her off to sleep, sometimes sing her off to sleep, and sometimes use tape recordings; and switch off with your spouse on putting her to bed.

Daytime mellowing

A peaceful daytime is likely to lead to a restful night. The more attached you are to your baby during the day and the more baby is held and calmed during the day, the more likely this peacefulness is to carry through into the night. If your baby has a restless night, take inventory of unsettling circumstances that may occur during the day: Are you too busy? Are the daycare and the daycare provider the right match for your baby? Does your baby spend a lot of time being held and in-arms by a caregiver, or is he more of a “crib baby” during the day? We have noticed babies who are carried in baby slings for several hours a day settle better at night. Babywearing mellows the infant during the day, behavior that carries over into restfulness at night.

Set predictable and consistent nap routines

Pick out the times of the day that you are most tired, for example 11:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m. Lie down with your baby at these times every day for about a week to get your baby used to a daytime nap routine. This also sets you up to get some much-needed daytime rest rather than be tempted to “finally get something done” while baby is napping. Babies who have consistent nap routines during the day are more likely to sleep longer stretches at night.

Consistent bedtimes and rituals

Babies who enjoy consistent bedtimes and familiar going-to-sleep rituals usually go to sleep easier and stay asleep longer. Yet, because of modern lifestyles, consistent and early bedtimes are not as common, or realistic, as they used to be. Busy two- income parents often don’t get home until six or seven o’clock in the evening, so it’s common for older babies and toddlers to procrastinate the bedtime ritual. This is prime time with their parents, and they are going to milk it for all they can get. In some families, a later afternoon nap and a later bedtime is more practical. Familiar bedtime rituals set the baby up for sleep. The sequence of a warm bath, rocking, nursing, lullabies, etc. set the baby up to feel that sleep is expected to follow. Capitalise on a principle of early infant development: patterns of association. Baby’s developing brain is like a computer, storing thousands of sequences that become patterns. When baby clicks into the early part of the bedtime ritual, he is programmed for the whole pattern that results in drifting off to sleep.

How to Ditch the Working Mother’s Guilt!

As mothers we all carry around a backpack full of guilt. No matter which way we turn or what we try to do, there is always niggles at the back of our minds telling us we should be doing more.

Maybe we shouldn’t return from work exhausted, or linger in the bath that little bit longer just to have a few moments peace and quiet, yet when all said and done, it has been clinically proven that guilt is quite simply a self-indulgent affair.

If you shake your head at this, think about it. Who does it benefit? Why do we feel it? We chastise ourselves for not spending enough time with our children, or for asking the nanny to attend a play, when really the only person it serves to help is us.

By putting ourselves through this mental torture we somehow believe that we are reaping what we deserve for our misdemeanours or failings as parents, yet none of us are failures, and our children would quite happily second that.

Having a nanny or child-minder is a wonderful option that many cannot afford. By developing a close relationship with your child’s daytime (sometimes night time) carer you are providing the next best thing to being there yourself. A good nanny will listen to your worries or fears, and will make sure they spend time researching your child and learning how best to handle them in order to produce a happy, well balanced and disciplined individual.

You little one will be showered with love, rewards, praise and also guidance whilst you are working providing for the family and being the best role model you possibly can. In a lazy nation, with surges of unemployment, bringing up a child that understands the value of working and sees it as a staple of everyday life should eradicate any guilt you may feel as you leave in the morning.

The pressure on us to perform is always immense, outside influences sometimes drip into our psyches and we feel the judgement as if it were tangible, coupled with our own persecutions it’s no wonder we feel wretched sometimes, so the best present you can give yourself is to nip guilt in the bud as soon as it starts to form.

Every parent is different, and no two parents have identical views on how to raise a  child, but quite simply if your little one is healthy, happy and secure, you’re doing the best you possibly can.

It’s perfectly natural to feel a little frazzled when you return from work to a child instantly demanding your attention, yet from previous evenings you’ll know this soon dissipates. No matter how great the childcare, or how old the child, even when having the best day of their lives, children will want mummy’s undivided attention as soon as she walks through the door. Some children don’t mind how they receive the attention, they will tantrum, or some will quite simply hug and hug and hug.

However a fabulous trick is to take a breath before you enter the house. If you’ve driven home, give yourself five minutes of uninterrupted peace, listen to classical music or read a favourite book before stepping into your home and your child’s arms fully refreshed and recharged ready for the bedtime routine.

Common Childhood Illnesses: A Guide

As someone with young children in your care daily, it’s important to have a basic understanding of common childhood illnesses and how to treat them.

Here are 5 common illnesses, their symptoms and how to treat them:

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Organisation tips for busy nannies

Failing to plan is planning to fail. Organising your time and your working environment effectively means you will feel less stressed, more in control and able to focus on the things you love rather than chores you hate.

Failing to plan is planning to fail. Organising your time and your working environment effectively means you will feel less stressed, more in control and able to focus on the things you love rather than chores you hate.

Have a diary

If you and your nanny family don’t already have a diary, ideally a page per day, then invest in one. Write down your menu plans, shopping lists, any appointments, groups, playdates or changes to the usual routine. Remind your bosses to fill things in as well and check a couple of weeks ahead or before planning anything on a specific date in case there’s something already there. Don’t be afraid to put your plans in, particularly if they involve you leaving right on time or mean you’re unable to babysit. Don’t like a paper diary? Share a Google calendar with your boss!

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Stain removal

Small children are messy, sticky creatures – there’s no getting away from it – and that means that their clothes, and yours, can take quite a beating at mealtimes and when playing. Treating stains properly straight away reduces the risk of permanent damage to clothes, which is good news when your favourite top has a close encounter of the strawberry kind.

Small children are messy, sticky creatures – there’s no getting away from it – and that means that their clothes, and yours, can take quite a beating at mealtimes and when playing. Treating stains properly straight away reduces the risk of permanent damage to clothes, which is good news when your favourite top has a close encounter of the strawberry kind.

Grass stains – soak in milk, rinse and wash as normal

Red fruits – stretch out the area where the stain is and pour boiling water onto it or soak in very hot water and agitate frequently

Blood – the best stain remover is that person’s saliva which contains enzymes to help break it down but in case you don’t want to teach children to spit or it’s a big stain you should run the stain under cold water. For delicate fabrics mix salt and water together and spread it on the stain or try hand soap.

Chocolate – wash as soon as possible in warm water and soap flakes or hand soap

Grease – the best method is to apply dishwashing liquid to the back of the stain (so the inside of a t-shirt for example), rub in and then rinse out with hot water from the back of the stain. If you can see any grease on the right side lift it gently with kitchen roll. Repeat if necessary.

Tomato – you can either stretch out the fabric, stain down, over a sieve or colander and pour boiling water over it from a distance of about a foot OR sponge the stain with cold water, rub it with a slice of lemon, and
then spray with stain remover before washing.

Mud – the good news is that mud should wash out of most clothes easily, but if you get mud on your UGG boots leave them to dry and then brush off. If this leaves behind marks from the water then wet the whole of the boot again (trust us!) before blotting it with a towel so it’s evenly wet and stuff with newspaper before leaving them to dry overnight.

Banana – probably the most challenging and one of the most common stains! Treat ASAP by applying dry borax then pouring hot water through the stain and washing as normal.

Keeping fit as a nanny

Working 8-6 leaves little time and energy for going to the gym but it’s important to take care of yourself so here are 7 steps to better fitness during your work hours!

Working 8-6 leaves little time and energy for going to the gym but it’s important to take care of yourself so here are 7 steps to better fitness during your work hours!

1. Walk: Get that buggy, or that sling, out and go for a long walk. Don’t just amble round the park, take it up a level. If you have toddler or preschool aged charges get them to scoot or bike. We can guarantee that you’ll be running to keep up.

2. Skip: You probably haven’t used a skipping rope since primary school but it’s an amazing cardiac workout. Teach children from about the age of 4, and challenge each other to skip for a set length of time or learn new tricks.

3. Plank: Got a baby charge? Plank while they’re doing tummy time and chat away. Nearly crawling? You’re down on their level, cheering along? Toddler or older? Get them to do it alongside you, or let them use you as a climbing frame!

4. Squat and lunge: Squats are great while winding or soothing a cranky baby, and you can lunge your way round the kitchen while you cook.

5. Work your abs: Sit your charge on your tummy and do some crunches, or play peekaboo by placing them in front of your feet and appearing from behind your knees.

6. Yoga: Even preschoolers can do some basic yoga poses – just look at Waybuloo. The tree pose is a fun challenge for everyone, and what child doesn’t love being upside down in downwards facing dog? Make triangles with your body, practice your archery in the warrior pose and twinkle like a star.

7. Dance: Put some funky music on and get moving! Shake your head, your hips, your arms and your legs. Do some ballet to classical music. Jump up and down. Go wild.

When nanny gets married

One of our lovely nannies recently got married and she has kindly passed on some hints and tips to any nannies or employers in a similar situation.

One of our lovely nannies recently got married and she has kindly passed on some hints and tips to any nannies or employers in a similar situation.

Right from the start my employers were thrilled for me and very supportive. They bought me a lovely congratulations card and invited my fiancé over one evening for champagne. In case that sounds strange they’ve known him as long as I’ve been working for them and they’re happy for him to come over in the evening if I’m babysitting because he’s my lift home. My nanny family really do feel like another part of my family so them being happy for me was a big deal.

I waited to check with them before setting the date. We wanted to get married in June 2022 which was 15 months away at the time of our engagement and we wanted to go on a 2-week honeymoon. I also wanted a couple of days before the wedding which meant 2 and a half weeks off in term time – not the most convenient thing for my bosses. I offered to take it as unpaid holiday so they could afford a temp nanny, and so I could keep my holiday allowance for the year, but they said it would be my main wedding present to have it as paid leave and they would manage. I know this was a massive deal for them and it made a big difference. I think if they’d been difficult about the date, it would have made me feel like getting married was an inconvenience.

They stayed interested, particularly the girls I look after, the whole time and although I know I was probably a very enthusiastic bride they never once made me feel like I was boring them. In fact, they were understanding to the point of my dad boss listening to me weep about table plans one Monday in the run up. Obviously, I didn’t let wedding planning take over my life, and it stayed out of work hours most of the time, but employers who show an interest in the biggest thing that’s going on in your life are appreciated.

Next, I had the dilemma of whether I invited them to the wedding or not, even more complicated because the children were desperate to be attendants. I didn’t want my charges as bridesmaids, but I did want them to share part of my special day, so I invited them to the church service and the evening on the condition that they had a big nap in the afternoon. That way they missed all the embarrassing bits about me in the speeches! I also bought them special matching outfits that fitted with my colour scheme but weren’t the same as my adult bridesmaids and gave them special jobs to do like distributing the confetti after the service. I could focus on the ceremony without being a nanny to my charges (because we never really stop) and they felt part of it – win-win!

I also had a special picture of us taken on the day, and it will definitely be going in the album.

After so much excitement and a wonderful honeymoon I felt a bit deflated coming back to work, but they made a special banner to say, ‘welcome back Mrs xxxxx’ and that made me smile all day.

How to Combat the Post-School Meltdown

How many times have you picked your little one up from school, watched them wave goodbye to their teachers and friends with happy, smiling faces, only to turn to you with furrowed brows, crossed arms and a sullen temper?

If this is you, you’re not alone.

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5 Autumn Activities for Toddlers

With Autumn on the way, we’ve found 5 great activities for you and your little one to enjoy as the leaves begin to fall!

With Autumn on the way, we’ve found 5 great activities for you and your little one to enjoy as the leaves begin to fall!

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