Nannyjob blog – Page 27

When nanny gets married

One of our lovely nannies recently got married and she has kindly passed on some hints and tips to any nannies or employers in a similar situation.

Right from the start my employers were thrilled for me and very supportive. They bought me a lovely congratulations card and invited my fiancé over one evening for champagne. In case that sounds strange they’ve known him as long as I’ve been working for them and they’re happy for him to come over in the evening if I’m babysitting because he’s my lift home. My nanny family really do feel like another part of my family so them being happy for me was a big deal.

I waited to check with them before setting the date. We wanted to get married in June 2022 which was 15 months away at the time of our engagement and we wanted to go on a 2-week honeymoon. I also wanted a couple of days before the wedding which meant 2 and a half weeks off in term time – not the most convenient thing for my bosses. I offered to take it as unpaid holiday so they could afford a temp nanny, and so I could keep my holiday allowance for the year, but they said it would be my main wedding present to have it as paid leave and they would manage. I know this was a massive deal for them and it made a big difference. I think if they’d been difficult about the date, it would have made me feel like getting married was an inconvenience.

They stayed interested, particularly the girls I look after, the whole time and although I know I was probably a very enthusiastic bride they never once made me feel like I was boring them. In fact, they were understanding to the point of my dad boss listening to me weep about table plans one Monday in the run up. Obviously, I didn’t let wedding planning take over my life, and it stayed out of work hours most of the time, but employers who show an interest in the biggest thing that’s going on in your life are appreciated.

Next, I had the dilemma of whether I invited them to the wedding or not, even more complicated because the children were desperate to be attendants. I didn’t want my charges as bridesmaids, but I did want them to share part of my special day, so I invited them to the church service and the evening on the condition that they had a big nap in the afternoon. That way they missed all the embarrassing bits about me in the speeches! I also bought them special matching outfits that fitted with my colour scheme but weren’t the same as my adult bridesmaids and gave them special jobs to do like distributing the confetti after the service. I could focus on the ceremony without being a nanny to my charges (because we never really stop) and they felt part of it – win-win!

I also had a special picture of us taken on the day, and it will definitely be going in the album.

After so much excitement and a wonderful honeymoon I felt a bit deflated coming back to work, but they made a special banner to say, ‘welcome back Mrs xxxxx’ and that made me smile all day.

How to Combat the Post-School Meltdown

How many times have you picked your little one up from school, watched them wave goodbye to their teachers and friends with happy, smiling faces, only to turn to you with furrowed brows, crossed arms and a sullen temper?

If this is you, you’re not alone.

Continue reading “How to Combat the Post-School Meltdown”

5 Autumn Activities for Toddlers

With Autumn on the way, we’ve found 5 great activities for you and your little one to enjoy as the leaves begin to fall!

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Nanny Week

Everyone as a nanny horror story. It’s like pregnancy, labour, bringing up a baby, a toddler, a child. People are only too happy to share the bad with you. Careless nannies, thriving nannies, entitled nannies, grumpy nannies, late nannies, vanishing nannies, everyone knows at least one.

But what about all the wonderful nannies out there? Because they do exist. Selfless nannies, loving nannies, dedicated nannies, energetic nannie, professional nannies. We should all know at least one of them too. The job of a nanny has changed massively in the last 23 years since www.nannyjob.co.uk was created in 1999. Modern nannies are expected to have a dazzling array of skills – just keeping children safe and happy isn’t cutting it these days – and a professional outlook. They invest their own time and money in CPD and training and see each nanny as an important ambassador for the profession.

Nanny week celebrates these nannies. It recognises the work they do. It’s a virtual pat on the back from the world to a bunch of caring men and women who thoroughly deserve it. Here’s to you, nannies!

Settling in

Adapting to a new caregiver can be tricky for children of all ages, which they show in different ways so here are some ideas to establish a good connection, smooth the transition and ensure you get off on the right foot.

For babies gently does it. They have no notion of time so when mummy or daddy goes away they think it’s forever, even if they’ve been told it’s just 5 minutes. Spend time working alongside the parents so the little one can see you’re a trusted friend and will happily go to you before their parents go away. Investing in a secure attachment at the start should avoid further separation anxiety in the future. If they do get upset and their parents can’t come back then distract, distract, distract! Pop them in a pram or a sling and go for a walk, make their toys act funny scenes or try a bath. Most little ones love water and will happily splash around for ages.

Toddlers understand time better, but they also understand that if they cry they can sometimes get what they want – which at the start will be their parents staying home. Don’t be offended, or alarmed, if they cry consistently in the morning when you arrive. It’s not that they don’t like you, it’s that they’ve connected you arriving to their parents leaving. Create a special good morning ritual that makes them laugh. In time they’ll look forward to you arriving so they can share that moment with you. Make sure your days are fun packed but follow their routine. Toddlers can get very anxious with too much change so even if would do things differently let them adapt to you first.

Preschoolers are often confident enough to separate from their parents easily so win them over by finding out what their favourite things are in advance and fitting as much as you can into their first few days. Like toddlers they can be sensitive to changes in routine but they also understand that different places and people have different rules, so short of any massive overhauls start as you mean to go on.

School aged children can be the toughest group to connect with. Often you see them in the morning, when they’re still sleepy and it’s a rush to get everyone out the house in time, and at the end of the day when they’re tired and you have the evening routine to get through. Take an interest in them and listen to what they have to say about their day, especially if they have younger siblings who are at home with you all day long. Inject a bit of fun into every day, even if it’s just 5 minutes, so you’re not always the bad cop.

Above all be patient and kind. Children and parents move at their own pace but over time you’ll develop a great bond.

10 reasons to look forward to autumn

Here at Nannyjob we love summer, we really do, but lots of think autumn is our favourite season and here’s why.

1. Conkers. I’m never going to get over my excitement at finding a shiny brown conker and you can use them for so many things. Throw them, grow them, squash them, smash them. Conkers are great.

2. Dry leaves. One of my favourite things to do is to go for a walk kicking up lots of dry leaves. I hope this year it will stay dry so we can play in them.

3. Preparing for Christmas. I know it’s September but I love Christmas and it starts at the end of November for me! Christmas crafts, Christmas songs and plotting Christmas presents all make me really happy.

4. Dark evenings. Some people hate them but I like heading home in the dark and coming back to a warm and bright house.

5. Hot chocolate. Finally an excuse to warm up by drinking some hot chocolatey milky goodness whether it’s out and about or at home. I like to add ginger or cinnamon to mix it up a bit.

6. Pumpkins. I love carving pumpkins ready for Halloween and they taste pretty good too. One of my favourites is pumpkin pie from when I spent a year as an au pair in the US. You don’t even have to cut up a pumpkin to make it!

7. Cute hats and scarves. I love novelty hats on children and I crochet my charges a new hat every year. They’re going to be a frog and a bunny so if you see us, wave hello.

8. My Ugg boots. Banished for the summer they can come out from the bottom of the wardrobe. They’re probably the comfiest thing I’ve ever owned.

9. Apples. I know what you’re thinking, all the things so far have been really unhealthy. I even made pumpkin unhealthy! But in season apples are one of my fave foods, especially in a crumble.

10. Fires. At the risk of sounding like a pyromaniac I love bonfires. I love seeing the flames, hearing the crackling and smelling the smoke from a wood fire. Possibly best avoided with children, though…

Reasonable duties for a nanny with nursery or school-aged charges

“What are reasonable duties for a nanny when children are nursery/school?” This is a question which comes up quite a lot, and as some nannies will be finding themselves with some free time as of this week, we thought we’d look.

Looking after other children

If there are younger children in the family, it’s a no brainer. A nanny’s wages won’t go down because they only have 1 child during these hours, and they’re still on call for any illness or closures, plus school holidays. If there aren’t younger children it’s possible to set up a nanny share, and this kind of arrangement can work well – Family A get to keep their nanny and reduce their costs, Family B get some solo time and reduced costs too. Bear in mind that any such arrangement needs to be formalised, and a nanny should never be offered as a free babysitter to another family without checking first.

Nursery duties

Most nannies will do nursery duties anyway, but usually while children nap. As a child going to nursery won’t be napping any longer (although some do) and a child at school won’t, so a nanny can use child-free hours to do laundry, ironing, batch-cooking (especially useful for school holidays), cleaning children’s bedrooms and bathrooms and so on.

PA duties

One big advantage of nanny is having someone at home to receive urgent parcels and let in workmen. With a little negotiation a nanny may take on some PA duties for the whole family, such as shopping for birthday presents and other specific items (or doing research online), ordering and receiving a weekly internet shop, dropping off dry cleaning, going to the Post Office and a hundred and one organisational duties around the house.

Light housekeeping duties

Nannies go into childcare to look after children, rather than clean, but adding a little light housekeeping such as hoovering, family cooking or family ironing. Most won’t clean parent’s bedrooms or bathrooms or do family laundry (especially if it involves underwear). For that you would need to find a nanny-housekeeper.

The 2 week itch

When you start a job everything seems great. Your charges are great. Your bosses are great. The area is great. The new routine is great.

Then reality hits, and at the end of the second week you wonder whether you really made the right choice after all. Are these hours as convenient as they seem? Is their behaviour getting worse? Are your bosses really pleased with what you’ve been doing? Maybe they’re re-evaluating their decision, just like you’re re-evaluating yours? Maybe this job is doomed? Is it worth the money to be unhappy? Are you even really unhappy?

When you start a job everything seems great. Your charges are great. Your bosses are great. The area is great. The new routine is great.

Recognise this feeling for what it is and you’ll feel better. It’s a natural instinct to take stock once the initial excitement of a new job has worn off, especially if your previous job was a good fit and you felt very comfortable. Building up trust with a new family is a relatively slow process and things won’t feel the same for a while. It’s a good idea to persevere until the end of the probationary period so you know you’ve given it a good shot, and things will probably improve past the 2 week point anyway.

Addressing any niggles you have at this stage is vital to prevent potentially difficult situations from escalating. Hearing positive feedback will boost your self-esteem and your employers will be reassured that you’re making an effort to fit in with their needs and wants rather than powering ahead with the way you’ve always done things. It also gives your bosses a safe space to raise anything they aren’t happy about. Everyone makes mistakes and it’s almost inevitable that you’ll have done something differently to how they would do it but rather than letting it build up you should clear the air and find out what they want you to do in future, or explain why you’ve chosen to do something differently.

Isolation can be a big factor if you’ve just moved to a new area or your nanny friends have charges of a different age. Be proactive about going out and finding new friends or tapping into contacts your bosses have already made, and don’t lose touch with your old friends. Nannies need peer support just as much as anyone else and your previous nanny network can help you through a tough time even if you don’t see them as often as you used to. If you’re new to nannying then try to buddy up with an experienced nanny to mentor you through the transition.

Give yourself positive things to look forward to over the next week at work and out of work too – introduce your charges to your favourite activities or plan a fun outing and treat yourself to something midweek as a little pick-me-up. The more positive memories and feelings you have about a new job, the more relaxed and confident you’ll feel, and everyone will pick up on it.

If nothing seems to be working give yourself a timeframe where you’ll give it your best, and if you don’t feel any different make the decision to move on. There’s no shame in accepting that you and the family aren’t a good match and you’ll soon find a job that’s perfect for you.

What gets you a nanny job?

We’ve talked before about the importance of a good profile in winning you work as a nanny, but a CV – and your experience and qualifications – will only get you as far as the interview.

Imagine opening a mystery box of chocolates. You have preferences – for example you prefer milk chocolate and don’t like nuts – and you can make decisions about what you see on the outside. That’s what your CV is for, to help the family pick out the milk chocolates and discard the nuts. Other things you can only tell by biting into the chocolate and discovering the hidden nuts inside. Sometimes a really tasty-looking chocolate can be disappointing, and sometimes a chocolate that seems plain on the outside can have a surprising centre.

Once you actually meet the parents, what is it that will land you the job?

Remember that the interview is first and foremost a chance for you and the family to interact, so don’t sit there passively! Taking an active part in the discussion and asking well- timed questions will show that you’re interested in hearing about them and their expectations as well as being prepared to answer questions about your experience and approach to childcare. Respond to the family’s cues and where they ask you what you would do in certain situations you should answer the question and then reflect it back to them to find out what their preferences are.

Let your enthusiasm for your job, and children, shine through. A happy, animated nanny who is able to describe what they do on a day to day basis is much more likeable than a coldly, professional nanny who gives textbook answers. Also show enthusiasm for the children if they are there. Try to get to know your future charges by smiling, waving and asking them questions, getting down on their level and responding to any overtures they make such as bringing you a favourite toy.

You probably have a list of questions in your head (or on paper!) that you want answered and chances are some of these will be covered before they ask whether you have any questions at the end of the interview. Pay attention to what the family say all the way through so unless you’ve genuinely forgotten the answer (in which case you should apologise and just ask them for clarification) you don’t ask for information you’ve already been given.

Also make sure your questions don’t focus solely on hours, pay and holidays, although that is obviously very important ground to cover. Ask about the children’s favourite activities, how the parents like to communicate during the day and what their priorities are as a family. Taking an interest in them as people will also help you decide whether you feel able to work with them.

The main objective of an interview is to establish a good relationship between you and the family, so you both leave with the impression that you could work well together.

Back to School: How to Support Your Child as They Transition to a New Year

It’s back-to-school time for children all over the UK next week. Whilst a lot of children find starting, or going back to school very exciting, moving into a different year can be difficult for some children, and moving to a different school can be even harder.

We’ve put together our top tips to help you support your transitioning child to ensure a smooth start to the new school year!

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