It’s 10 minutes past finishing time and no sign of your employers, no call, no text. It’s 40 minutes past your contracted finish and your employer breezes in saying “Sorry! See you tomorrow.” It’s been 3 hours, you’ve put the children to bed, cancelled your plans for the evening and made a half-hearted attempt at tackling the ironing pile when your phone beeps – “Dinner nearly through, home in an hour or so”. Sound familiar?
Using the highly scientific research method known as ‘asking some people we know’ we found that this problem is shockingly common and there seem to be three main reasons for employer lateness, which require different tactics to resolve.
#1 Their commute takes a variable time
What they put in the contract was the best case scenario where they leave working at 5, catch the 5.15 train which has no delays and walk in the door at 5.55 allowing a brief exchange and you can leave at 6. But if they leave work at 5.04 they can’t catch a train before 5.27 and when 6 rolls round they’re still on it. They may feel it’s a matter of minute, and after all this flexibility is why they have a nanny rather than a nursery that kicks children out at 6 on the dot. This can be true, and some nannies are happy with an arrangement where twice a week they stay a few minutes over but other times they get a later start or can go half an hour early. When the give is all in your direction, though, you need to say something.
Train yourself in front of a mirror: “I’ve noticed you’re having trouble getting home by 6 because you’re held up at the office/your line is prone to delays. Would you like to extend my working hours by 15/30 minutes to take some of the pressure off?”
Phrase it like you’re doing them a favour and they’re likely to agree. Or they’ll be mortified and stop taking advantage.
For persistent offenders: “I’m happy to be flexible but I often find myself having to cancel plans because I’m still here at my contractual finish time. Can we come up with a solution together that allows me to honour commitments I make?”
#2 The parents are incapable of communicating with each other
The scale of this can range from one parent going for a quick drink after work assuming the other will be home to one parent hopping on a plane unaware that the other has done the same thing. Either way you’re left (literally) holding the baby and not knowing what’s going on. Even tougher is when the parents communicate with you but not each other. It puts you in an impossible position because you can’t just walk out and you’re always on edge because you never know when it’s going to happen again.
Try: “Perhaps we can set up a shared calendar so we can all see what’s planned? I understand wires get crossed but it’s worrying when I’m expecting you home and neither of you arrive”.
For persistent offenders: “Do you have an emergency contact I can ring to collect the children if I don’t have news from you by 7/8/9pm?”
#3 They just don’t care because their time is worth more than yours
This kind of parent is happy to pay overtime, but expects their nanny to be there 24/7. Some nannies, especially if they live in and don’t mind never making plans because they’re comfortable curling up with a good book or using their employer’s home gym, are fine with this. Others, often those who live out and have a full life outside work, can’t cope with the lack of respect shown for their private time.
The only solution: “Please accept my notice. I feel that I’m not the right nanny for your family.”