au pair – Nannyjob blog

Blog Post: The Modern Guide to Hosting an Au Pair in the UK

If you’re considering welcoming an au pair into your home to provide childcare assistance and cultural exchange, there are essential rules and etiquette to bear in mind to ensure a harmonious living arrangement. Here’s our guide to navigating the au pair experience in the UK.

1. Embrace Them as Family: While you’re the employer providing accommodation and pocket money, it’s crucial to view your au pair as part of the family. Beyond their duties, au pairs seek integration into English life and language. Involve them in family activities, share meals, and discuss any concerns respectfully, fostering a supportive environment.

2. Avoid Treating Them Like a Skivvy: Au pairs receive pocket money in exchange for light housework and childcare, not to act as full-time domestic help. Clearly outline their responsibilities, respecting agreed-upon boundaries, such as weekends off. Avoid tasking them with excessive duties or treating them as a ‘cinderella.’ Open communication ensures mutual understanding and respect.

3. Acknowledge Their Additional Responsibilities: Beyond childcare, au pairs are in the UK to immerse themselves in the culture and language. They’ll attend language classes and require study time. UK regulations permit au pairs to work up to 35 hours a week, with specific limits for Romanian and Bulgarian nationals. Ensure they have adequate downtime, including two days off weekly and one full weekend off monthly.

4. Foster a Culture of Mutual Respect: Expect a positive work ethic and demeanor from your au pair, but reciprocate with respect and appreciation. Clear communication, even if language barriers exist initially, is key to a successful partnership. Over time, as their English proficiency improves, communication will become smoother, enhancing the overall experience.

The Modern Au Pair in 2024: Understanding and Respect in the Host Family Relationship

In 2024, the role of an au pair continues to be an invaluable part of many families’ lives, offering a unique blend of childcare and cultural exchange. However, understanding the nuances of this role is crucial for a harmonious and respectful relationship. Here are updated guidelines and etiquette for families hosting an au pair.

Au Pairs as Part of the Family

While au pairs are employees, they should also be seen as family members. They live in your home, learn from your culture, and contribute to your family life. The compensation for an au pair is not just financial; it’s also about the experience and exposure to a new way of life. Encourage them to participate in family activities and treat them with the same respect and kindness you would extend to any family member. Open discussions, not commands, should be the norm for any issues or misunderstandings.

Defining the Role Respectfully

Au pairs typically receive a modest wage plus room and board. Their primary duties should include light housework and childcare, focusing on children over two years old. Clearly outline these responsibilities from the start, and respect the agreed boundaries. For instance, if an au pair has weekends off, this time should be respected. If additional tasks arise, discuss them openly and consider appropriate compensation.

Balancing Work and Cultural Learning

Remember, au pairs are in the country to learn about the culture and language. They often enroll in language courses and require time for studies. Legally, au pairs can work up to 35 hours a week (25 hours for those from certain countries), and they must have two full days off per week, including one full weekend off each month.

Mutual Respect and Communication

A positive attitude and a strong work ethic can be expected from an au pair, but this is nurtured through respect and clear communication. Be patient, especially if there are language barriers at the beginning. As their understanding of English improves, communication will become more effortless.

Hosting an au pair in 2024 is about embracing cultural exchange and mutual respect. By understanding their role and treating them as part of the family, you can ensure a rewarding experience for everyone involved.

The Ultimate Responsibility: Checking Your Nanny’s Identity, References, and Right to Work

When hiring a nanny, it’s essential to verify their identity, qualifications, and references thoroughly. As an employer, you have the responsibility to ensure they have the right to work in the UK and are suitable for taking care of your children and home. This article provides an up-to-date guide on the necessary checks you should conduct before hiring a nanny.

The Right to Work Check your prospective nanny’s passport, national identity card, or other proof of nationality to ensure their right to work in the UK. Be aware that some foreign nationals may have limitations on their work permits or visas, so seek specialist advice if needed.
Qualifications and Certificates Ask to see original certificates for any qualifications your nanny has obtained. Verify the authenticity of these documents by contacting the awarding body. If your nanny is OFSTED registered, ask to see their registration certificate, proof of common core skills, First Aid certificate, and public liability insurance.
References Request both written references and contact information from your nanny’s previous employers. Be prepared to ask specific questions related to their past performance and how they interacted with the children they cared for.

By diligently checking your nanny’s identity, references, and right to work, you can be confident that they are a suitable and trustworthy individual to care for your children. Remember, as an employer, it’s your ultimate responsibility to ensure your nanny is the right fit for your family.

Bonfire night safety

With the cost of living on the increase and many of us watching the pennies (and pounds!) you might decide to recreate some of the fun at home with sparklers or by building a small bonfire with older children, maybe even doing some campfire cooking. The most important thing to keep in mind is that fire, and fireworks, are dangerous.

Sparklers are cheap and fun. They give off sparkles as they burn and make pretty patterns, but they can also be very dangerous and definitely shouldn’t be used by children under 5. When using sparklers:

Make sure everyone wears gloves
Hold sparklers well away from you
Keep a bucket of water to put the finished sparklers in
Only light one at a time
Never pass lit sparklers
Keep children more than an arm + sparkler’s width apart – around 6ft or 2m is a good distance
Never allow them to wave sparklers at each other or duel with them

If you want to make a fire, then follow some simple rules and keep it small so it doesn’t get out of control. Remember that if it’s windy you shouldn’t build a fire as the wind could pick up burning sticks and quickly get out of control. If you decide to have a bonfire at home:

Build the fire carefully and make sure it on clear ground away from buildings, vehicles trees, fences and overhead cables. If your garden is too small to build a fire safely then go to a public display.
Make sure all clothing is safe to be around fires – some synthetic materials will melt when in contact with heat
Don’t use any accelerants such as petrol or lighter fuel to make the fire burn faster
Only put wood, cardboard, leaves and and paper on it but keep flyaway materials to a minimum
Have buckets or water or a fire extinguisher nearby
Follow basic fire safety rules and once the fire has died down make sure you dampen the embers to stop it relighting

And finally, we hope you don’t need it but here’s a quick refresher on how to care for a burn:

Cool under cold running water for at least 10 minutes
A burn larger than the size of your hand requires treatment in A&E, as do full thickness burns (these look white or charred) or partial thickness burns to the face, hands, feet, arms or legs (these burns have blisters).
Get medical help for any burn in a child under 5, a pregnant woman, someone over 60, has a pre-existing medical condition or if there are other injuries or the person is going into shock
Don’t pull off anything which is stuck to the burn – if necessary, cut the material around it
Don’t touch the burn or try to pop any blisters
Cover the burn with cling film or put a clear plastic bag over the hand or foot to prevent infection – do not apply ice, creams or greasy substances such as butter

Perfect Summer Holiday Activities for Children

British summertime is often unpredictable when it comes to the weather. It’s not unheard of to experience rain, sun, wind and even snow all in the same day. That’s why we’ve put together our top summer holiday activities for kids that you can do, no matter the weather.

Continue reading “Perfect Summer Holiday Activities for Children”

Keeping your cool

Some days can just be frustrating. Your alarm doesn’t go off, you forgot to fill up the car, there’s no milk when you get to work, the children won’t nap and bicker endlessly, you finish later than planned…..As child carers we don’t have the luxury of a 5 minute break to cool off with a cuppa, we can’t lock ourselves in the loo for a quick cry and we work with people who, by definition, are unreasonable. So how do you keep your cool when everything seems to be falling around you? We asked some of our Nannies for their top tips

Sammie, Nanny, 27

I recently took up yoga and meditation. Now when I’m getting a bit stressed, I trying to do some focused breathing, or sit in a relaxing pose. The little girl I look after tries to copy me and I think it calms her down too so it’s good for when we’re both stressed out.

Emma, Childminder, 32

Whenever I feel myself getting hot and bothered, I throw my plans for the next half an hour out the window and start an activity I enjoy doing. Playdough is therapeutic for me! Then my mindees come and join in and it reminds me why I love working with children.

Hannah, Nanny, 23

The best way to get rid of stress is to smile, make funny faces and funny noises. No-one can stay cross for long. You must laugh instead.

Nina, Nanny, 35

We always put on some music and have a bit of a boogie. Sometimes I need to stomp around a bit, so I pretend it’s dancing, sometimes I just need something to lift my spirits. If all else fails, there’s always Gloria Gaynor.

Eve, Childminder, 38

If I’m cross, I talk about it with the children. I think children are very sensitive and can pick up on your mood easily so it’s important to identify it for them and say what’s happened to make you feel that way. Children can have good suggestions for making you feel better too.

Jess, Nanny, 29

Counting to 10 always works for me. Plus, it’s educational. You just keep counting until you’ve cooled off.

Patricia, Nanny, 54

I’ve learned that you must talk about what made you upset in the first place, so you don’t end up in one of ‘those’ moods with it being one of ‘those’ days. If you feel your boss has been inconsiderate, write it down and chat about it in the evening. If your charges are pushing the boundaries talk to them and to their parents. Talking means you’re not trying to cope on your own and you’re taking steps to resolve the problem.

Lucia, Childminder, 32

Learn to let go. It’s not worth working yourself up because you end up getting unhappier as the day goes on. Holding onto what went wrong only makes more things feel like they’re going wrong. Let it go as soon as it happens.

Debbie, Nanny, 41

Don’t take responsibility for children’s behaviour and emotions. They’re their own person and although they need to learn to control how they feel don’t feel like you’re failing and stress yourself out because they aren’t behaving properly. Your own feelings and actions are the only thing you’re responsible for. Let them be angry if they need to.

Choosing childcare

One of the biggest decisions to do with children is choosing what form of childcare you want to use once you return to work. This decision is governed by a number of factors, including the hours you need, the cost of childcare and availability in your area, but also reflects your personal preferences.

Hours

Some childcare providers e.g. nurseries are only open between fixed times. In order to use this type of chidcare your working hours and commute should fit comfortably within these times. Childminders offer a little more flexibility – although most advertise core hours they are better equipped than nurseries to flex by 15 minutes either way if they so wish, and may be more accommodating of shift patterns. Nannies and nanny shares (were two families jointly employ a nanny to care for children from both families at once) are the most flexible form of childcare because as an employer you can dictate the hours you want and advertise accordingly. Au pairs can provide before and after school wrap around are in a similar way to nannies but are not normally suitable for extended charge of young children, although they are a viable option for nursery wraparound care.

Cost

If you wish to claim any help with childcare costs from the Government you will need to ensure you use registered childcare.

Childcare costs vary between regions but according to the Daycare Trust’s annual childcare costs survey childminders are cheaper on average, followed by nurseries, with nannies being the most expensive for one child. A nanny, however, is a fixed cost per family so can be a good option for families with 2 or more children and offers better flexibility with school holidays etc so if you have older children or planning on having more it may work out cheaper in the long run.

Nanny salaries vary between an average of £600 gross weekly for a live in nanny outside London and the Home Counties and £700 gross weekly for a live out nanny in Central London, working up to 60 hours per week. A less qualified or experienced nanny will earn less than this, and the more experience and qualifications a nanny has, the more they will earn. There will also be additional cost such as employer’s liability insurance if not included in your house insurance, a payroll company, car insurance if the nanny is driving your car, a kitty for activities and any emergency bread and milk shopping and the cost of feeding your nanny, and if they live in, associated bills, which can easily come to £50-100 per week. In a nanny share the cost is likely to be around 60% of employing a nanny by yourself.

An au pair is paid between £70 and £100 a week plus board and lodging for 25-30 hours’ work but as for nannies you will need to factor in around another £50-100 on bills and food, depending on how environmentally aware your au pair is and whether they fit well with your family’s eating pattern or you end up buying additional food, car insurance if you require your au pair to drive, which can be expensive for under-25s holding a non-UK license, a basic mobile phone and inclusion in any family outings and activities.

Personal preferences

Do you want your child to be cared for in a home environment? You’ll need to look at a nanny or childminder.

Do you want your child to be around other children? A nursery, childminder or nanny share would probably suit you best.

Do you want your children to be cared for in a setting with more than one adult? A nursery or a childminder working with an assistant/another childminder is the best option for you.

Do you want your child to be cared for by only one person? A childminder or nanny will ensure your child receives consistent care.

Are you prepared to become an employer? If not, a nanny is not a viable option as nannies cannot be self-employed except in very specific circumstances.

Want to find out more? Look at our past blog posts on ‘why to choose a childminder‘, ‘nursery care to suit your child‘, or ‘is a nanny right for you?‘ or go and search for childcarers in your area.

When parents won’t listen (or change)

As a childcarer you may sometimes find yourself in the situation where you have repeatedly tried to communicate with the parents about an issue and been ignored, or told that the parents will do something only to find they haven’t. At this point you need to make a decision about how important the issue is, to the children and to you, and whether you can work with things are they are.

Any concerns about the children’s safety or well-being must be reported. If you feel a parent’s actions or inaction mount up to abuse or neglect then you have a duty to get in touch with your relevant local authority.

Where it’s not a safeguarding issue, but makes carrying out your job difficult for you then you need to decide what actions you can take without the overt support of the parents, assuming they are happy for you to do so. Children can be quick to notice inconsistencies so acknowledge any differences between what you say and what the parents say, however they are also capable of learning which behaviours are acceptable with which adult and as long as you are consistent with them they will learn (even if it takes a little longer!).

All this, though, can make your job extremely stressful. Finding ways to wind down at the end of the day, or even quietly blow off steam half way through, are vital for your well-being. Feeling alone and unsupported can really sap your morale so share your feelings with your loved ones or friends. Often as nannies we feel we can’t talk to anyone about what goes on in our job but it’s perfectly okay to reveal our feelings and frustrations. As a general rule talking in ‘I’ terms (I feel I…. etc) won’t give anything away and it will help you acknowledge your own emotions instead of bottling them up. Sport can be a great way to relieve frustration, and crafts that occupy your hands such as knitting or card-making can be a good way to calm down and focus on something positive and productive. Creating a time to work through your feelings and set them to rest is another good way to keep your kind clear and preventing stress in your job invading your life. Work on accepting what you can’t change and seeing the positives in the things you can.

Ultimately if you feel the parents are making it impossible for you to continue, or you are unable to destress at least at the end of a working week then it might be time for you to move on. You can change the children but you can’t change the parents, and sometimes accepting that is the hardest thing of all.

Sleep Difficulties with Children – How a Nanny Can Help

Having a young child who won’t or can’t sleep can have a knock-on effect for the entire family.

Sleep problems for babies and young children are becoming more commonplace and routines can be extremely difficult to stick to, especially when you’re not around your child 24/7. That’s where a nanny can step in and help to keep the routine running smoothly so that everyone in the family stays fully rested.

Continue reading “Sleep Difficulties with Children – How a Nanny Can Help”

Talking tantrums

Parents and childcarers – nannies, childminders, aupairs or nursery staff – are almost all familiar with the tantrums, but there can be differences of opinion on how to deal with them.

As a childcarer it’s difficult to bring up a sensitive subject. Tantrums are an entirely normal phase of development, coming from a child’s desire to show their independence and assert themselves or an inability to communicate, and intellectually parents know that but no-one likes to hear that their child has been ‘misbehaving’.

Parents may not share details of the behaviours with childcarers, perhaps feeling that it’s a reflection on their parenting skills, or perceived lack thereof. Children do often save their worst behaviour for their parents but it is not a sign of weakness to make others aware of facts.

It’s important that neither party shies away from discussing the issue. The best way to deal with tantrums is a consistent approach from everyone involved. That way a child quickly learns what the limits are and that having a paddy isn’t an effective way of getting what they want. Communicating also allows parents and childcarers to share tips and tricks. Parents may know what frustrates their child and be adept at handling it so sharing that information with their child’s carer is vital to help prevent tantrums. Childcarers may be able to offer strategies that have worked with other children or reassure parents that their child is indeed learning to deal with frustration and that the tantrums will soon decrease.

Toddlers especially need to make sense of the world. It’s reassuring for them to have a set of consistent rules and boundaries, consistent positive attention for good behaviour and a consistent response to a tantrum. It’s especially important that everyone is on the same page when it comes to safety. Communicating about expectations and accommodating each other’s practices where possible makes the transition as easy as possible for children and avoids unnecessary tantrums.

Children also need autonomy. Some adults are inclined to say ‘no’ to anything out of the ordinary, even when it’s perfectly possible to accommodate a request, and others will bend over backwards to comply. Obviously in group childcare settings it’s more difficult to deal with individual whims, and it doesn’t do any good to spoil children by giving in to them all the time, but by working together parents and carers can agree what will or won’t be accommodated.

Finally, while it’s important to communicate between adults it’s also important not to let what happens when you aren’t there affect your relationship with a child. Sharing information should help you understand and deal with tantrums, but it needs to be done sensitively and with respect.