Tag: au pair

What you aren’t expecting when living and working with children

Even if you’ve got experience with children, if you haven’t lived and worked with them full time, and you’re not a parent yourself, these may take you by surprise!

 

1. Bumps and bruises

 

It’s surprising how strong these little people are! Whether you’re playing a game, taking a trip to the park or changing a nappy, you’re susceptible to bashes, knocks, and bumps which means that you’re covered in bruises yourself (especially if you bruise easily). I’m always finding bruises and trying to remember where I got them – it could be from anything, the baby dropping a toy on your foot, or an accidental kick when pushing a child on the swings!

 

2. Sleep

 

We all know that not all children sleep through the night, especially when they’re young, but what surprised me was the amount of different things that can disturb the night. From bedwetting, to ‘I just can’t sleep’, night time feeds, illness and nightmares… And then they will be up early in the morning too!

 

3. All things slime

 

Who knew how much snot and dribble could come out of those little humans! If they’re a bit older, they’ll deal with a lot of this themselves, but for young children and babies, it’s a constant battle to wipe noses, change nappies, and clear up dribble!

 

4. Laundry

 

You might have heard about how much laundry a baby makes, but did you ever think that some of that would be yours? A jumper you may have once been able to wear a few times before a wash, now might not last a full day!

 

5. Creatures

 

If your charges are at school or nursery, it is likely that they will come into contact with all kinds of germs and parasites. Think headlice, worms and chicken pox. Sadly these things aren’t contained just to the child and will most likely be spread to you, which means nitcombing and medicine for you too! Yuk!

 

6. Getting attached

 

Even after all of that, you will grow to love the little monsters. They’ll make you smile, give you cuddles and do some very cute and funny things so if you take a holiday away, expect to miss them!

 

Thanos for sharing, Cate! If you have something you’d like to share just drop us a line on frances@nannyjob.co.uk

Au pair vs nanny

What is an au pair?

An au pair is a young person, usually aged 17-25, who comes to the UK with the aim of improving their English and/or experiencing life in another country. They can come from any country in the European union or certain other countries which are eligible for a Tier 5 Youth Mobility Scheme Visa, including Australia, Canada, Japan and New Zealand. They live with a family (there is no such thing as a live out au pair) and are provided with a bedroom, all meals and some pocket money in return for some light childcare and helping with household chores. They should be included in family activities such as days or meals out too.

What do they do?

Au pairs usually look after children aged 3+ outside school or nursery times, although they may work alongside a parent caring for younger children or do short periods of wraparound care. They can prepare simple meals, play with children, supervise homework (although they may not be able to help), take children to and from activities and do chores such as sweeping the floor, washing up or tidying up toys.

What can’t they do?

Au pairs are not suitable for full time care, especially of young children. A reliable au pair may be able to provide a few weeks of full time care in school holidays for additional pay or time off. They also don’t do heavy cleaning such as cleaning windows or bathrooms (except their own) or family laundry.

How much are they paid?

An au pair is usually paid £70-100 per week. If they are paid above the lower earnings limit you will need to register as an employer. You may also need to register as an employer if they get another job, for example a Saturday job. You will also be expected to provide some form of transport so they can get to English classes etc unless everything is within walking distance. In London this is usually an Oyster card, outside London it is more common for an au pair to be provided with a local bus pass or bicycle or be insured on a car.

 

VS

 

What is a nanny?

A nanny is a qualified or experienced childcarer who is able to take sole charge of children on a full or part time basis. They may be of any nationality as long as they have the right to work in the UK and any age from 18 to 70+. They can live in or live out and are paid a salary, from which tax and national insurance must be deducted by their employer.

What do they do?

A nanny will take care of everything to do with the children, from feeding and changing to providing educational activities, making food and bottles to children’s laundry and cleaning their bedrooms. Some nannies are also willing to batch cook meals to freeze for the children or the family or take on PA duties such as waiting in for parcels or repairmen and picking up dry cleaning. They will supervise and help with homework and music practice and may work overnight or at weekends in a proxy parent role.

What can’t they do?

There is virtually nothing a nanny can’t do, but there are limits to what most will be happy to do. Nannies are not housekeepers, they do not usually tidy up after parents or manage the house. They also can’t fly using an umbrella.

How much are they paid?

The 2013 nannytax salary survey showed that nanny ranges varied from £318 to £672 gross for a 50 hour week. Live in wages are typically lower than live out.

The Pufflympics

Stuck for ideas? Why not try a themed activity week?! Nanny Claire has done weeks of activities centered around Princesses,  cars and space, and here she shares her Winter Olympic theme with a twist.

 

I’m a nanny and look after 3 children, two girls E 12 years old and AM 6 years old and one boy AC 9 years old. My job is usually part-time, I do the school run and then ferrying around various after school activities and playdates. However, there are times that those who look after children dread…the school holidays.

I had not given much thought as to what we were going to do all week, swimming, movies and playdates were confirmed but they don’t take up the whole week. On Monday the kids were having breakfast and it just so happened that the Winter Olympics were on, so especially with sports obsessed AC, we  were watching the curling. I’m usually quite strict on TV hours, switched off after breakfast until at least 4:30pm, but the Winter Olympics is not on every  week so it’s an exception to the rule.

As most of us who look after children know, it’s not long before we get the inevitable phrase “What are we going to do today?”, one of the kids said that curling looking fun so I said I bet we can find something to do curling with if you get washed and dressed, at which point they vanished like speedy ninjas.

So now I had to find something to play curling with, I wandered around looking at the various toys and then I saw the puffles…If anyone doesn’t know what a puffle is, they are pets for penguins on the popular Club Penguin game, they are basically small round, come in various colours and have fuzzy hair. There happen to be quite a few in the kids collection, kind of curling stone shaped and should slide across the floor quite nicely!

The weather outside was typically pouring down with rain, so I tested some chalk on the kitchen tiles just to make sure it would come off  later (not my floor after all!), no problem there so I sketched out some circles to represent the house in curling, got the brush out of the cupboard  and we were ready to go! There was soon puffles flying in all directions and much laughing, arguing and cheering. We decided that scoring would be whoever got their puffles closest to the middle on their turn, I didn’t expect the game to be such a big hit and the kids asked what other events we could do.

So we looked up the other Olympic sports there were, and I tried to work out how we could replicate them at home, a brief thought of kids  sliding down the stairs on trays entered my mind swiftly followed by thoughts of a trip to A & E. However bob sleigh could work, if we made them for the  puffles and not the kids. So at dinner I told the kids we were going to be making bob sleds for the puffles tomorrow.

On Tuesday morning I was greeted with much excitement, “Are we still making sleds for puffles today? After breakfast I raided my box collection, always have a variety of empty boxes for such rainy days, I cut down 3 boxes to the same size for each of them, out came the glue, and various arts and crafts paraphernalia. There was much discussion about what would make it slide better, runners on the bottom, aerodynamics, making it look pretty, etc.

 

I fashioned a slide out of some cardboard box strips and white bin liners, and put it on the stairs, we then timed each puffle and recorded the time. The kids spontaneously decided to create a team name and made-up country for their puffles, so we then had team Fermat for E, team Mouseling for AM and team I Don’t Know for AC, they created maps for their countries and an event chart went up on the wall, all their own ideas I’m proud to say.

 

 

The pressure was now on me to come up with the next day’s event, thinking of the events involved I decided that the Ski slalom was possible with a little help from a remote control car! This did involve tying the puffle to the car under the pretence of a seat belt, and the kids made crash helmets out of craft foam for them! The kids have a building set called Cranium which is a set of poles and cloths which can be constructed to create play houses, etc. and the poles turned out to be quite useful for slalom flags. We opted for the rule of having to go around 2 poles at least and not all of them, this way they all had a good chance to get around the course successfully. They had plenty of time to practice driving the car before we did individual times and recorded them on the event sheet, needless to say puffles and poles went flying in all directions!

I went home that night and dreamt of puffles, and how to do the next event! I decided that I could recycle the bob sled run into a ski jump  and use the remote control car again; we used a sun lounger cushion so we didn’t mangle the car. I admit the car was very slow but managed to construct  the jump so if you lined up well you could get the car to do a small jump off the end, sufficient enough to get a small measurement anyway. The kids all got  to practice again before we took some final measurements. This wrapped up the final event of the Pufflympics, the next day was Friday and the last day of the holidays.

We decided to host our own closing ceremony; a toy shopping trolley became a puffle parade float with a few adaptions of course. The kids designed their own part of the float to put their puffle on to reflect their team and country. Next was designing their own podium step, E helped me make some medals by gluing some sequins to stickers and then cutting them out. E made a party playlist on her iPod and wrote a speech, AC lined the parade route on the floor with string and AM helped me get some food ready. It was junk food heaven as I let them have full reign on what food they wanted, so we had hot dogs, pizza, chips, cheese sandwiches and squishy tomatoes (AM really really likes cherry tomatoes roasted until extremely squishy)!

So after a busy week hosting the Pufflympics the kids had been entertained all week when it was generally too rainy to go outside, and I hadn’t been driven mad by kids asking what they can do every 10 minutes. Most importantly we all learned a lot more about the winter Olympic sports, lots of fancy new words and rules and at a fraction of a cost compared to the real thing. I essentially used toys and things we had in the house, the kids had a blast and spontaneously  added lots of their own ideas of what they could do. If you fancy hosting your own event you don’t necessarily have to have puffles on hand, cars would also have made great competitors for the Carlympics or a variety of cuddly toys for the Cuddlympics? You don’t need to be confined indoors or to the Olympics either. Why not host the World Cup or the Commonwealth Games outside?

The Trouble with Teens

The trouble with teens is they think they don’t need a nanny or au pair, especially if you’ve been with them since they were much younger. They might feel that they’ve outgrown you or be embarrassed that their friends don’t have someone looking after them. The truth is they don’t need you in the same way but that’s not to say they don’t need you at all.

They need a cook, chauffeur, laundry maid and friend – all of which are file in the dictionary of job descriptions under ‘nanny’. Parents who keep nannies on for older children often have busy lives, working long hours or traveling frequently and want someone else to take care of the day to day tasks so weekend time as a family can be maximized. So teens do still need someone to buy their supplies for school projects, someone to make sure they get some dinner and someone they trust who isn’t a parent or teacher to talk to. Next time they say they don’t need you then point out all the practical things you do.

The teenage years are a difficult time bringing lots of changes. If you’re young you might find it difficult to maintain your authority because they realise that firstly people have to earn respect and authority and secondly they’re not so much younger than you after all, which is often a problem for au pairs. If you’re more mature they might feel that you’re out of touch and don’t understand them.

Take time to connect with teens in your care. Fake an interest in the latest band/singer/soap if you have to because it’s important to them and it gives you something safe to talk about. Give them space and privacy with their friends and don’t push them for details of what’s going on at school unless there’s a problem.

Give them freedom, as long as your employers are happy, to manage their time or walk back from school/the bus by themselves. Learning independence is an important part of being a teen and it can be hard to resist the temptation as a nanny to ‘nanny’ them. Sometimes the very title nanny is a red flag to teens so have a chat with them and come up with a description you’re both happy with that they can use to other people. You can become their sibling’s nanny or a family assistant – your professional pride might take a hit but you can still list the job as nanny on your CV.

The hardest thing about nannying teens is leaning that you have to give a little on the boundaries. Consistency and structure are vital for toddler and younger school aged children but teens needs negotiation too. Get it right and you’ll have a treasured place in your teen charge’s heart, not that they’ll ever admit it!

First Aid for childcarers

One of the most common requirements for childcarers is a valid paediatric first aid certificate. All registered child minders have to hold this, as well as OFSTED registered nannies. Nurseries only have to have one member of staff trained but it’s good practice for most, if not all, staff to have done a course.

Accidents can happen at any time and frighteningly quickly. One of the biggest risks for small children is choking. The leading First Aid organizations in the UK have just published new guidance for managing choking in a baby. Instead of lying the baby along your arm and giving back slaps to dislodge the blockage they now recommend putting the child face down across your lap to administer back slaps. Changes like this are part of the reason a First Aid certificate should always be within date and fully renewed every 3 years.

It’s important to make sure the certificate specifically covers paediatric first aid as some treatment is different for children that won’t have been covered on an adult course.

Thorough First Aid training means a childcarer should feel confident about handling an incident and this will help them stay calm and remember what to do. A course should also involve hands on practice to ensure the techniques are correctly understood. No amount of reading can replace this practical component.

We urge parents to ensure their nannies and babysitters are trained in First Aid and support this petition to make it a legal requirement for all nursery worker to hold a First Aid certificate too. Please take a moment to read and sign.

First Aid courses are available through organisations such as the Red Cross and St John’s Ambulance, private providers and many nanny agencies.

Attachment childcare

Most people have heard of attachment parenting, if only in sensationalised form, also known as the Sears method. The idea is that an infant is kept as close its mother, or other caregiver, as possible by breastfeeding, using a sling, bed-sharing, responding sensitively to cries and, as the child grows, ensuring that any separation is child led as far as possible. It must be said that many parents follow some of these principles without defining themselves as attachment parents but when parents openly say they follow attachment parenting some childcarers start to panic.

 

There is no need to worry. Although the label might sound off-putting, by entering into a dialogue with parents about how they practice attachment parenting will help you understand and accommodate their child’s needs.

 

1. Breastfeeding

This is obviously a logistical problem when any breastfeeding mother goes back to work. Make sure you and your setting are supportive of continued breastfeeding; know the value of expressed breast milk and how to handle it, talk to the mother about feeding times and whether she would prefer you to feed the baby just before collection or her to feed on arrival/at home to fit in with her pumping schedule, and try attachment bottle feeding.

 

2. Using a sling

If a baby is accustomed to being held and soothed by their caregiver it’s very important to continue this in some way during the transition to childcare and the easiest way to do this is to use a sling. Slings are a very individual decision but try asking the parents for their input if you don’t have one of your own that fits you comfortably.

 

3. Bed-sharing

This is often the trickiest adjustment. It isn’t advised for anyone but breastfeeding mothers to bedshare with their infants so as a childcarer, potentially caring for other children at the same time, it’s not practical. Make the sleeping area as familiar as possible. Consider asking the parents to provide a pillowcase and blanket that they have slept with to provide a familiar smell and commit to stroking or patting the  baby to replace the comforting contact of their mother’s body or suggest naps in the sling. Above all don’t judge the parents for continuing to bedshare at home – it’s valuable time for them to reconnect and may allow the mother to rest while breastfeeding a baby who refuses milk during the day.

 

4. Responding to cries

One of the key principles of attachment parenting is a belief that cries are genuine attempts to communicate and should not be ignored. As any attachment parent of two or more will tell you this doesn’t mean running at the first whimper if you have another child to attend to, but
it does mean responding and trying to figure out what is wrong rather than leaving a baby to cry it out, or seeing whether he will settle after a few minutes crying by himself.

 

5. Child-led separation

Attachment parents may request a longer settling in period to gradually accustom their child to you and your setting. Use this time to observe and learn how the parents and child interact so you can provide consistency. It doesn’t mean that they don’t trust you or are hanging around to be difficult!

Christmas presents for childcarers

Want to show your childcarer(s) how much you appreciate them but stuck for ideas? About to nip to Tesco to stock up on tins of Roses or bottles of vino? Hold on just a second and read our handy guide to buying something special for those other special people in your child’s life.

The task of buying for nursery staff can be daunting. Most parents opt for a a special something for their child’s keyworker and a joint gift for the staff in the room – a hamper with teas, herbal teas and coffees or some nice handwash and hand cream. They’re probably overflowing with chocolates and wine so think outside the box a little. Individual pamper hampers are a nice personal gift if you don’t have too many people to buy for or  individual cards with a voucher or gift card for an appropriate store will be appreciated too.

‘I didn’t know what to get the staff at nursery so I bought a plant for the staffroom and decorated it with cards and an ornament for each of them to take home’.

 

You’ll probably know a childminder or nanny better and be able to find something to their taste – a good book, tickets to a show or a gadget you know they’ll love. Unless you know that they love a particular type of chocolate or are partial to a nice G&T of an evening, try to avoid chocolate or alcohol based gifts. Equally a photo of your children, while very sweet, is unlikely to make them light up. They love them very much but chances are they have plenty of photos already. Cash always goes down well but it can feel awkward trying to decide an amount if it’s their only present- 1 week’s salary is a good guide for a nanny.

‘I gave my nanny a KitchenAid , which was less than a week’s salary but far more appreciated, and  a lift home so she didn’t need to take it on the tube!’

 

It can be more difficult giving cash to childminders, and if you’re strapped for cash a week is a lot of money, but if you do then make it clear it’s for them to spend on themselves. Sometimes the best gifts combine the practical with the personal – a case for an iPad or a smart hat and gloves set if you notice theirs are looking a big tatty. A token gift that you’ve put a lot of thought into is worth far more than an envelope stuffed with banknotes.

‘Our childminder is a big tea drinker but I know she restricts her cuppas to when my active 2 year old can’t charge into her and knock them over. I got her a spill proof insulated mug which came in handy when he dropped his nap.’

 

For a casual babysitter an extra bit of cash is probably most appreciated, tucked inside a nice card. If you prefer to give a present rather than slip an extra tenner their way then think about their interests or what they’ll find useful- if they’re a student then funky notebooks or pens for use in lectures may brighten up their day.

‘My babysitter is a retired lady who lives a few doors down and has a beautiful garden. We got her a new pair of gardening gloves and some handcream so she can keep up the good work.’

 

If a carer has their own children with them at work you might want to buy a token gift for them as well. This doesn’t need to be expensive but will be very well received by the children and the thought and effort will be appreciated by your carer too.

Whether you give a significant gift or not,  put the effort into making a card with your children – the glitterier and messier the better – and send a card from yourself as well with a note saying how much you appreciate them! That’s a gift that keeps on giving.

Preparing for a new nanny job

 

What information do I need to have?

While it’s good practice for nannies to have certain information in writing there are no obligations, unless your nanny insurance states otherwise. Common requirements there are a signed contract, which proves you are permitted to be in charge of the child, and permission to administer over the counter or prescription medication. Other information should be in their red book, which should at least be stored somewhere you can access it, but do keep a record in your purse of their full names, dates of birth and important medical information just in case something happens when out and about.

Continue reading “Preparing for a new nanny job”

Separation Anxiety

Separating from their primary carer is a difficult experience for babies, and their parents too! In this post we look at some of the causes of separation anxiety and strategies to help.

 

What is separation anxiety?

Most people equate separation anxiety with crying and clinginess to a familiar adult. Separation anxiety is a natural stage that most children experience for the first time between 7 and 12 months. It’s a perfectly normal reaction to being parted from their primary carer. Unfortunately it also often coincides with a child entering childcare for the first time as a parent goes back to work. By the time a child is 2 years old, separation anxiety should have calmed down, although they may still be anxious or nervous about staying with an unfamiliar adult or in an unfamiliar place the first time it happens. Children (and adults) continue to experience some symptoms of separation anxiety even when they can rationalise what it happening. This can often be seen in parents leaving their child for the first time!

 

What causes separation anxiety?

Separation anxiety occurs when babies realise that things and people exist even when they can’t be seen. Babies realise that they are alone and feel that there should be someone there, so may cry in the night if they wake and find themselves alone or cry if you leave the room, or they feel anxious when a familiar adult leaves, even if there is someone to look after them.

 

What can help?

This depends on what is causing the anxiety and the extent you’re prepared to compromise what you do.

If a baby experiences separation anxiety every time you leave the room one option is to take them with you. At some stage they will outgrow their anxiety but this isn’t always practical.

Another strategy is to practice, first by playing peekaboo or hide and seek and then leaving the room and popping back in frequently. Say that you’re going and you’ll be back soon, and don’t worry if you can only manage 10 seconds at first. The most important thing is that you leave and come back.

Children will often experience less separation anxiety if left with another familiar adult so try to balance time spent with Mummy where Daddy leaves and time spent with Daddy and Mummy leaves. A child will feel more secure about the absence of one parent because the other parent is still there. Having other familiar adults – extended family, neighbours or friends – who will stay while you leave, even if it’s just to make a cup of tea, will acclimatise them to being without you without being alone.

At night or nap time do comfort a child but keep visits short and try to avoid lots of interaction. Their separation anxiety is real and distressing for them and they need to know that you are there. If they are unable to fall asleep because they are so distressed try the gradual retreat method where you put them in their cot and sit beside them, gradually moving further and further away until you are out the door. It may take a while and you need to be consistent but it is a gentle way to help them overcome their fear.

 

Separation anxiety and childcare – some advice for parents.

Children who have only ever been in the care of their parents naturally experience separation anxiety when they enter childcare or school.Children who are used to being around a wide range of familiar adults, for example extended family, are less likely to protest when Mummy or Daddy leaves although they are still likely to experience some separation anxiety. The transition just feels easier because they are accustomed to you leaving and coming back and you are used to leaving them.

It’s important to have a settling in period with a childminder or nursery, or a handover with a new nanny. Build up to a short day by first leaving for short periods, then half days and eventually a full day.

Make sure you always say good-bye when you go, and childcarers should always say good-bye at the end of the day too. Once you have left resist the temptation to pop back and see how they’re doing and then leaving again – this is confusing for children.

Always be positive about your chosen childcare. If your child senses that you are nervous or unsure they will pick up on this and feel unsettled too.

Safer baby sleep

This is a guest posting from The Lullaby Trust. The Lullaby Trust, formerly FSID, promotes expert advice on safer baby sleep and provides specialist support for bereaved families.

Working with a baby or toddler can be an exciting and rewarding experience. However, we know how worrying it can be making the best decisions to keep babies and toddlers as safe as possible.

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is the sudden and unexplained death of a baby where no cause is found. While SIDS is rare, it can still happen and our advice below will ensure that the baby or toddler in your care is sleeping as safely as can be both a night and during the day.

Things you can do when working with a baby:

Always place the baby on their back to sleep

• You should always place the baby on their back to sleep and not on their front or side

• Make sure you and the family you work with are consistent with back sleeping- the chance of SIDS is particularly high for babies who are sometimes placed on their front or side

• Once the baby can roll from back to front and back again, on their own, they can be left to find their own position

Keep the baby smoke free

• Never smoke around the baby or have the baby on contact with smoky skin or clothing.

• Don’t let people smoke near the baby and keep the house, car, and other places the baby spends time, smoke free

Opt for expressed breast milk over formula

• If you have the option, always prioritise breast milk over formula, as this can be protective against the risk of SIDS

Place the baby to sleep in a cot or Moses basket in the same room as you for the first 6 months, even during the day. It’s the safest place.

• The chance of SIDS is lower when babies sleep in the same room as their parents or carers, but do not share the same bed as them

Ensure the baby has a firm, flat, waterproof mattress in a good condition

• You and the baby’s family should avoid using soft or bulky bedding (such as quilts, pillows and duvets) as these increase the chance of SIDS

• Sleep the baby on a firm, flat mattress that is clean and in a good condition. A mattress with a waterproof cover will help you keep it clean and dry

 

Things to avoid when working with a baby:

Never sleep on a sofa or in an armchair with the baby either next to you or on your chest, even during the day

• Sofa sharing with a baby greatly increases the chance of SIDS

Avoid letting the baby get too hot or too cold

• A room temperature of 16-20⁰C, with light bedding or a lightweight well-fitting sleeping bag, is comfortable and safe for sleeping babies

• Check the baby regularly to see if he or she is too hot. Look for sweating or feel the baby’s tummy – their hands and feet will usually be cooler, that’s normal. If the baby is hot, remove one or more layers of bedclothes.

Don’t cover the baby’s face or head while sleeping or use loose bedding

• The use of loose bedding which can cover the baby’s face or head can be dangerous and can increase the chance of SIDS

• To keep the baby safe and their head uncovered while they are sleeping you should:

o Place your baby on their back in the ‘feet to foot’ position – this is where the baby’s feet are placed at the foot of the cot – so they can’t wriggle down under the blankets

o Use blankets which are firmly tucked in, no higher than the baby’s shoulders or baby sleeping bag

For more information and advice, see the Lullaby Trust’s website at www.lullabytrust.org.uk, or phone the information and advice line on 0808 802 6869.

Happy nannying!