au pairs – Nannyjob blog

The Modern Au Pair in 2024: Understanding and Respect in the Host Family Relationship

In 2024, the role of an au pair continues to be an invaluable part of many families’ lives, offering a unique blend of childcare and cultural exchange. However, understanding the nuances of this role is crucial for a harmonious and respectful relationship. Here are updated guidelines and etiquette for families hosting an au pair.

Au Pairs as Part of the Family

While au pairs are employees, they should also be seen as family members. They live in your home, learn from your culture, and contribute to your family life. The compensation for an au pair is not just financial; it’s also about the experience and exposure to a new way of life. Encourage them to participate in family activities and treat them with the same respect and kindness you would extend to any family member. Open discussions, not commands, should be the norm for any issues or misunderstandings.

Defining the Role Respectfully

Au pairs typically receive a modest wage plus room and board. Their primary duties should include light housework and childcare, focusing on children over two years old. Clearly outline these responsibilities from the start, and respect the agreed boundaries. For instance, if an au pair has weekends off, this time should be respected. If additional tasks arise, discuss them openly and consider appropriate compensation.

Balancing Work and Cultural Learning

Remember, au pairs are in the country to learn about the culture and language. They often enroll in language courses and require time for studies. Legally, au pairs can work up to 35 hours a week (25 hours for those from certain countries), and they must have two full days off per week, including one full weekend off each month.

Mutual Respect and Communication

A positive attitude and a strong work ethic can be expected from an au pair, but this is nurtured through respect and clear communication. Be patient, especially if there are language barriers at the beginning. As their understanding of English improves, communication will become more effortless.

Hosting an au pair in 2024 is about embracing cultural exchange and mutual respect. By understanding their role and treating them as part of the family, you can ensure a rewarding experience for everyone involved.

A sticky end

One of our lovely Nannies messaged over the weekend to tell us how she has been getting on!

I’ve been an au pair with a family in France who since the beginning of September.

This afternoon, my host mother left me with 2 children for an hour and a half after school. The 3 yr. old wanted to have one of his chocolates but instead of just taking one from his sweet bowl, he brought the whole bowl into the living room.

He ate his chocolate and then I popped him in front of Sesame Street (I have about 75 episodes of this on my laptop and he loves it!) while I went to make dinner in the next room, which isn’t even a separate room as there’s just an archway.

I also had the baby girl who has finally learnt to crawl and is now getting into everything, so I was back and forth every few minutes to check she hadn’t found wires or got stuck under a chair (both have happened). Because there isn’t a door it’s hard to keep her contained! I then went back into the kitchen to serve up their dinner and was not out of the living room for any more than 3 minutes! I came back in to tell them that it was time to come and sit up to the table and heard the baby scrunching some plastic. She had her back to me, but when she turned round, I realised what she’d got: a plastic bag that (had) contained some of the chocolates and sweets from the sweet bowl that he had left on the table. I then noticed there was no chocolate in the bag, and that instead, it was all over her face, hands, and clothes. She’d even managed to get it on the bottom of her feet! She was really pleased with herself!

I took the empty sweets packet away (there were just some of the sweets left, one of which she’d clearly chewed on and decided she didn’t like…) and tried to clean up the sticky baby! She’d managed to get it everywhere, including on the glass table and the carpe

I was mid-stripping her clothes off and trying to keep the 3-year-old, who was attempting to hit his little thieving sister, at a distance, when the mother came back. I was there with a semi-naked baby who still had chocolate all around her mouth on my lap and a 3-year-old having a tantrum.

Not the ‘calm and well-organised scene with children happily eating dinner up to the table’ I was aiming for! So embarrassing!

Oops, Kate! We bet you won’t make that mistake again.

Taking risks

Risks, in general, are seen as a bad thing. Parents and child carers are told to minimise risks, to make things safer, to always be careful and pay attention, ready to swoop in the moment there’s danger. But what if this is a bad thing? Are we going to far?

Of course we don’t mean giving children uncooked chicken to eat, or letting them practice their new found cycling ability next to the river, we mean sensible risks. Perhaps instead of removing all the hazards teaching children to respect dangers and deal with them safely would help them lean. instead of hovering and catching children before they hit the ground allowing them to fall from a safe height and feel the effect of letting go and the point where they went too far.

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Sleep Difficulties with Children – How a Nanny Can Help

Having a young child who won’t or can’t sleep can have a knock-on effect for the entire family.

Sleep problems for babies and young children are becoming more commonplace and routines can be extremely difficult to stick to, especially when you’re not around your child 24/7. That’s where a nanny can step in and help to keep the routine running smoothly so that everyone in the family stays fully rested.

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Adapting to living with a family

Live in child carers, such as live in nannies, maternity nurses and au pairs, have to not only get to grips with demands of the job but also balance the dynamic of living in someone else’s house. The exact relationship depends on the job – for example au pairs are expected to be part of the family whereas nannies are more independent – but there are some things which almost every live in child carer experiences.

Household rhythms

Initially aligning times of meals and going to bed can be tough. Going to bed early, or being the last one up at night, may mean you feel a bit apart from the family you’re living with. If you don’t function until your second cup of coffee then negotiating the kitchen in the morning can be a challenge too.

Eating different food

Even when you come from the same culture every family has their preferred meals and cooking methods. Food is so important that not having your favourite meals can have a bigger impact than you would think, or even grilled bacon instead of fried.

Knowing where to go when your employers are having a private conversation

When you live with people it can be hard to have privacy, and conversations can’t always be schedule. Almost every nanny has walked into the kitchen only to have their employers stop talking. Nine times out of ten it’s nothing bad, just something your bosses may not want you to know (yet) such as their plans for another baby. Worse still is knowing where to put yourself when your employers have an argument.

Negotiating bathroom time, and hot water usage

If you don’t have your own bathroom there may be peak times to avoid, and even when you do the sound of running water may disturb others. A greater crime is using all the hot water. Nobody likes a cold shower, so be mindful of how much you use, especially when you have guests, and find out how to put on the immersion heater or boost the heating.

Hearing children in your time off

Whether it’s the middle of the night or the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning, if your bedroom is within earshot of the children you’ll probably get disturbed. Much as you may love them, if you’ve planned to sleep, their noise is a nuisance you could do without. Even in the middle of the day if you’re trying to read, watch TV or skype a friend those noises can be a disturbance.

Remember that it can take time to adapt to your new housemates, and communication is really important not just about your working hours but regarding living arrangements too. Before taking a job it’s a good idea to ask about household routines and how much they expect you to be around vs in your room so you can decide whether you’ll fit in comfortably.

Discrimination

It is against the law to treat someone less favourably than someone else because of a personal characteristic such as religion, sex, gender reassignment or age.

Discrimination can include:

not hiring someone
selecting a particular person for redundancy
paying someone less than another worker without good reason

You can discriminate against someone even if you do not intend to. For example, you can discriminate indirectly by offering working conditions or rules that disadvantage one group of people more than another.

Discrimination in Job adverts

You must not state or imply in a job advert that you’ll discriminate against anyone. This includes saying that you are not able to cater for workers with a disability.

Only use phrases like ‘recent graduate’ or ‘highly experienced’ when these are actual requirements of the job. Otherwise you could discriminate against younger or older people who might not have had the opportunity to get qualifications.

Where you advertise might cause indirect discrimination – for example, advertising only in men’s magazines.

Top 10 essential items every Nanny carries

Like every child is different, every Nanny and Manny are different, but the one thing they all have in common is that they are always prepared! Here are our top 10 essential items that every Nanny carries with them. What is your most essential item? Or What have we missed off our list?

Mobile Phone with emergency contacts in – Mum, Dad, Grandparents, Neighbour, Doctor, Dentist, whoever is on your list make sure you have a plan of action if there is an emergency!
Medical Information for each child. In the UK we have the Red Book which should contain all the vital info you need such as food allergies, medication, etc. But if you don’t have this then keep a note handy with all the details. If the child, you care for becomes ill the first questions you will be asked are ‘Is the child taking any medication’ ‘Does the child have any allergies’ Having this information to hand may save valuable time.
First Aid Kit – You can buy a ready made one or simply carry the necessary items around with you such as Plasters, antiseptic wipes, safety pins, tweezers, gauze dressings, sterile eye dressings, crepe roll bandage, triangular bandage, disposable gloves.
Tissues, wet wipes and hand sanitizer.
Sunscreen and lip balm, even the most overcast days can require some protection from the sun, always better to be safe.
Nappies (Or underwear if potty trained), Changing mat, wipes, cream disposable potty, – you never know when you might be caught out!
Change of clothing, what child hasn’t rolled in the mud or been sick and needs to be changed.
Healthy snacks – children are constantly hungry, ready prepared fruit, rice cakes, raisins, prepped veg and hummus. All great energy boosters if you have a flagging child.
Bottled Water – Great for cleaning up a messy child or for a drink break through the day.
Small toys and books, if you must queue, go on public transport of just keep a child occupied while you wait for something, having a toy or book handy will help deal with any boredom the child might feel.

How to Deal with Sibling Rivalry

Even if they get along 90% of the time, there will always be moments when siblings don’t see eye to eye. Personalities can clash and arguments can begin over a variety of things from who has the most attention, playing with certain toys, playing with friends, and even the clothes they’re wearing.

The truth of the matter is that sibling rivalry is, and always will be common place, which is why we’ve put together some top tips to help you keep things running smoothly.

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Au Pair or Nanny – What’s the difference?

What’s the difference between a nanny and an au pair? It’s a question we hear from a lot of parents looking for childcare.

Nannies and au pairs are both extremely different and it’s important that you understand the differences and exactly what you’re looking for from a childcare provider, before you make any decisions. Which is why we’ve put together this article to help you.

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3 ways to better manage behaviour

Observe

Obviously we’re always watching children but simply watching is very different to keenly observing with an objective in mind. If you’re notice a pattern of negative behaviour make a special effort to observe and find the triggers. Sometimes the incidents seem random but there may be a bigger pattern behind it – common causes are unexpected tiredness, over-stimulation, teeth coming through. Sometimes it’s linked to something that we’re doing, albeit unintentionally. A child who doesn’t know what is expected of them will lash out when confused. This is particularly noticeable when children are growing in independence and learning new skills, but at the same time the mistakes they make are behaviours we don’t want to encourage. It’s difficult to learn to drink from an open cup without spilling once or twice.

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