How to Be a Good Role Model for Your Nanny Children – Part Two

Last week, we began discussing the importance of being a positive role model for the children in your life and gave you 5 tips to help you on your way to being a better role model for your nanny children. If you missed last week’s posts How to Be a Good Role Model for Your Nanny Children – Part One, be sure to check it out.

Since this is such an important topic and we couldn’t fit everything into just one post, we decided to carry it over to this week to give you another 5 tips:

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3 ways to better manage behaviour

Observe

Obviously we’re always watching children but simply watching is very different to keenly observing with an objective in mind. If you’re notice a pattern of negative behaviour make a special effort to observe and find the triggers. Sometimes the incidents seem random but there may be a bigger pattern behind it – common causes are unexpected tiredness, over-stimulation, teeth coming through. Sometimes it’s linked to something that we’re doing, albeit unintentionally. A child who doesn’t know what is expected of them will lash out when confused. This is particularly noticeable when children are growing in independence and learning new skills, but at the same time the mistakes they make are behaviours we don’t want to encourage. It’s difficult to learn to drink from an open cup without spilling once or twice.

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New qualifications for childcarers

On 1 September 2014 the standard qualifications for new learners within the childcare profession changed from the Certificate and Diploma for the Children and Young People’s Workdforce to the Early Years Educator Qualifications. Previous diplomas, including the BTEC, NNEB and DCE as well as the DCYPW, remain full and relevant and therefore suitable for nannies.

The new qualifications focus on the 0-5 age range, with some knowledge of the 5-7 age group, and require a Grade C pass in GCSE English and Maths. For the academic year 2014/2015 this will be an end of course, rather than an entry, requirement but in following years learners will be expected to obtain these before enrolling on the course if they are accessing funding.

Early Years Educator qualifications can be taken at a college or in a workplace, but the workplace needs to be registered and following the EYFS, meaning that nannies would need to undertake practical placements to complete the course. It will take 12-24 months to complete. The qualification is the same standard as A-levels and can be used to apply for university to study courses such as childhood and early years, primary teaching or nursing.

The criteria for the new EYE qualifications set out by the Government can be found here.

Surviving emergency childcare

It happens to everyone at some point. Sick child, sick childminder or nanny, unexpected business trip, one child in hospital and siblings not allowed in or your carefully prepared backup plan for nursery closure has fallen through. You need emergency childcare. Apart from the logistics of sourcing a temporary nanny, emergency childminder or last minute nursery place there are a few things to consider. You want to make the handover as smooth and stressfree as possible for you, your temporary childcare and above all your child.

 

It happens to everyone at some point. Sick child, sick childminder or nanny, unexpected business trip, one child in hospital and siblings not allowed in or your carefully prepared backup plan for nursery closure has fallen through. You need emergency childcare. Apart from the logistics of sourcing a temporary nanny, emergency childminder or last minute nursery place there are a few things to consider. You want to make the handover as smooth and stress-free as possible for you, your temporary childcare and above all your child

 

There are many ways to find emergency childcare, via an agency or searching for temporary nannies with availability. It’s best to maximise your chances by following as many leads as possible. Once you’ve found someone don’t be tempted to skip steps – ask for at least 2 references and either request scans of their checks and qualifications or get them to bring them along so you can see for yourself before they start work.

Prepare your child as much as possible for the change to his routine by talking about the new childcare and highlighting the advantages and similarities. Reassure them that this isn’t a permanent change to their routine and they will be able to return to normal afterwards. A special comforter, blanket or cuddly toy, even if usually reserved for bedtimes, may help your child deal with the transition.

Leave a much detail as possible for your new nanny or childminder concerning your child’s routine and favourite foods and activities and, if you have chosen an emergency nanny, your house.An experienced temporary nanny will be used to parachuting in and getting on with it but it’s better to have too much detail than none at all. After all if everything is going well they may not need to refer to your speedily put together manual but should they need to know something it will make their life, and yours, a lot easier if they can just scan through to find what they need to know.

Where possible ensure sufficient time for a handover but don’t drag it out for too long. It’s hard leaving your child with someone she and you don’t know but it can be very confusing if you’ve explained that the emergency nanny or childminder is going to look after her and then you don’t leave. Tell the emergency childcarer to call you if there are any problems or your child doesn’t settle, and leave as many numbers as possible for you and your partner so you can be reached easily.

Discuss payment beforehand. There’s nothing worse than turning up at the end of the day with an empty purse to find that they are expecting cash. There’s nothing illegal about paying in cash, in fact many childcarers who take short-notice, short-term jobs prefer it as it means they know they’ve been paid. Be aware that paying in cash doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t have to deduct tax and National Insurance or a temporary nanny; some are self-employed but if they’re there for more than a few days they may be expecting you to act as their employer. If you already employ a nanny and use a payroll agency then they should be able to help you.

Prepare for emergencies by leaving a letter of consent for medical treatment. It would be exceptionally bad luck to face a trip to A&E on top of your childcare crisis but these things can happen and it’s safer to be prepared.

Finally, give yourself permission to make the day as easy as possible. The housework can wait, dinner can be the freezer’s finest or a takeaway, take a taxi – surviving emergency childcare is tough enough without extra work.

Hopefully you and your child will come through smiling, and even asking for your temporary nanny to come back!

 

The Pufflympics

Stuck for ideas? Why not try a themed activity week?! Nanny Claire has done weeks of activities centered around Princesses,  cars and space, and here she shares her Winter Olympic theme with a twist.

 

I’m a nanny and look after 3 children, two girls E 12 years old and AM 6 years old and one boy AC 9 years old. My job is usually part-time, I do the school run and then ferrying around various after school activities and playdates. However, there are times that those who look after children dread…the school holidays.

I had not given much thought as to what we were going to do all week, swimming, movies and playdates were confirmed but they don’t take up the whole week. On Monday the kids were having breakfast and it just so happened that the Winter Olympics were on, so especially with sports obsessed AC, we  were watching the curling. I’m usually quite strict on TV hours, switched off after breakfast until at least 4:30pm, but the Winter Olympics is not on every  week so it’s an exception to the rule.

As most of us who look after children know, it’s not long before we get the inevitable phrase “What are we going to do today?”, one of the kids said that curling looking fun so I said I bet we can find something to do curling with if you get washed and dressed, at which point they vanished like speedy ninjas.

So now I had to find something to play curling with, I wandered around looking at the various toys and then I saw the puffles…If anyone doesn’t know what a puffle is, they are pets for penguins on the popular Club Penguin game, they are basically small round, come in various colours and have fuzzy hair. There happen to be quite a few in the kids collection, kind of curling stone shaped and should slide across the floor quite nicely!

The weather outside was typically pouring down with rain, so I tested some chalk on the kitchen tiles just to make sure it would come off  later (not my floor after all!), no problem there so I sketched out some circles to represent the house in curling, got the brush out of the cupboard  and we were ready to go! There was soon puffles flying in all directions and much laughing, arguing and cheering. We decided that scoring would be whoever got their puffles closest to the middle on their turn, I didn’t expect the game to be such a big hit and the kids asked what other events we could do.

So we looked up the other Olympic sports there were, and I tried to work out how we could replicate them at home, a brief thought of kids  sliding down the stairs on trays entered my mind swiftly followed by thoughts of a trip to A & E. However bob sleigh could work, if we made them for the  puffles and not the kids. So at dinner I told the kids we were going to be making bob sleds for the puffles tomorrow.

On Tuesday morning I was greeted with much excitement, “Are we still making sleds for puffles today? After breakfast I raided my box collection, always have a variety of empty boxes for such rainy days, I cut down 3 boxes to the same size for each of them, out came the glue, and various arts and crafts paraphernalia. There was much discussion about what would make it slide better, runners on the bottom, aerodynamics, making it look pretty, etc.

 

I fashioned a slide out of some cardboard box strips and white bin liners, and put it on the stairs, we then timed each puffle and recorded the time. The kids spontaneously decided to create a team name and made-up country for their puffles, so we then had team Fermat for E, team Mouseling for AM and team I Don’t Know for AC, they created maps for their countries and an event chart went up on the wall, all their own ideas I’m proud to say.

 

 

The pressure was now on me to come up with the next day’s event, thinking of the events involved I decided that the Ski slalom was possible with a little help from a remote control car! This did involve tying the puffle to the car under the pretence of a seat belt, and the kids made crash helmets out of craft foam for them! The kids have a building set called Cranium which is a set of poles and cloths which can be constructed to create play houses, etc. and the poles turned out to be quite useful for slalom flags. We opted for the rule of having to go around 2 poles at least and not all of them, this way they all had a good chance to get around the course successfully. They had plenty of time to practice driving the car before we did individual times and recorded them on the event sheet, needless to say puffles and poles went flying in all directions!

I went home that night and dreamt of puffles, and how to do the next event! I decided that I could recycle the bob sled run into a ski jump  and use the remote control car again; we used a sun lounger cushion so we didn’t mangle the car. I admit the car was very slow but managed to construct  the jump so if you lined up well you could get the car to do a small jump off the end, sufficient enough to get a small measurement anyway. The kids all got  to practice again before we took some final measurements. This wrapped up the final event of the Pufflympics, the next day was Friday and the last day of the holidays.

We decided to host our own closing ceremony; a toy shopping trolley became a puffle parade float with a few adaptions of course. The kids designed their own part of the float to put their puffle on to reflect their team and country. Next was designing their own podium step, E helped me make some medals by gluing some sequins to stickers and then cutting them out. E made a party playlist on her iPod and wrote a speech, AC lined the parade route on the floor with string and AM helped me get some food ready. It was junk food heaven as I let them have full reign on what food they wanted, so we had hot dogs, pizza, chips, cheese sandwiches and squishy tomatoes (AM really really likes cherry tomatoes roasted until extremely squishy)!

So after a busy week hosting the Pufflympics the kids had been entertained all week when it was generally too rainy to go outside, and I hadn’t been driven mad by kids asking what they can do every 10 minutes. Most importantly we all learned a lot more about the winter Olympic sports, lots of fancy new words and rules and at a fraction of a cost compared to the real thing. I essentially used toys and things we had in the house, the kids had a blast and spontaneously  added lots of their own ideas of what they could do. If you fancy hosting your own event you don’t necessarily have to have puffles on hand, cars would also have made great competitors for the Carlympics or a variety of cuddly toys for the Cuddlympics? You don’t need to be confined indoors or to the Olympics either. Why not host the World Cup or the Commonwealth Games outside?

First Aid for childcarers

One of the most common requirements for childcarers is a valid paediatric first aid certificate. All registered child minders have to hold this, as well as OFSTED registered nannies. Nurseries only have to have one member of staff trained but it’s good practice for most, if not all, staff to have done a course.

Accidents can happen at any time and frighteningly quickly. One of the biggest risks for small children is choking. The leading First Aid organizations in the UK have just published new guidance for managing choking in a baby. Instead of lying the baby along your arm and giving back slaps to dislodge the blockage they now recommend putting the child face down across your lap to administer back slaps. Changes like this are part of the reason a First Aid certificate should always be within date and fully renewed every 3 years.

It’s important to make sure the certificate specifically covers paediatric first aid as some treatment is different for children that won’t have been covered on an adult course.

Thorough First Aid training means a childcarer should feel confident about handling an incident and this will help them stay calm and remember what to do. A course should also involve hands on practice to ensure the techniques are correctly understood. No amount of reading can replace this practical component.

We urge parents to ensure their nannies and babysitters are trained in First Aid and support this petition to make it a legal requirement for all nursery worker to hold a First Aid certificate too. Please take a moment to read and sign.

First Aid courses are available through organisations such as the Red Cross and St John’s Ambulance, private providers and many nanny agencies.

Attachment childcare

Most people have heard of attachment parenting, if only in sensationalised form, also known as the Sears method. The idea is that an infant is kept as close its mother, or other caregiver, as possible by breastfeeding, using a sling, bed-sharing, responding sensitively to cries and, as the child grows, ensuring that any separation is child led as far as possible. It must be said that many parents follow some of these principles without defining themselves as attachment parents but when parents openly say they follow attachment parenting some childcarers start to panic.

 

There is no need to worry. Although the label might sound off-putting, by entering into a dialogue with parents about how they practice attachment parenting will help you understand and accommodate their child’s needs.

 

1. Breastfeeding

This is obviously a logistical problem when any breastfeeding mother goes back to work. Make sure you and your setting are supportive of continued breastfeeding; know the value of expressed breast milk and how to handle it, talk to the mother about feeding times and whether she would prefer you to feed the baby just before collection or her to feed on arrival/at home to fit in with her pumping schedule, and try attachment bottle feeding.

 

2. Using a sling

If a baby is accustomed to being held and soothed by their caregiver it’s very important to continue this in some way during the transition to childcare and the easiest way to do this is to use a sling. Slings are a very individual decision but try asking the parents for their input if you don’t have one of your own that fits you comfortably.

 

3. Bed-sharing

This is often the trickiest adjustment. It isn’t advised for anyone but breastfeeding mothers to bedshare with their infants so as a childcarer, potentially caring for other children at the same time, it’s not practical. Make the sleeping area as familiar as possible. Consider asking the parents to provide a pillowcase and blanket that they have slept with to provide a familiar smell and commit to stroking or patting the  baby to replace the comforting contact of their mother’s body or suggest naps in the sling. Above all don’t judge the parents for continuing to bedshare at home – it’s valuable time for them to reconnect and may allow the mother to rest while breastfeeding a baby who refuses milk during the day.

 

4. Responding to cries

One of the key principles of attachment parenting is a belief that cries are genuine attempts to communicate and should not be ignored. As any attachment parent of two or more will tell you this doesn’t mean running at the first whimper if you have another child to attend to, but
it does mean responding and trying to figure out what is wrong rather than leaving a baby to cry it out, or seeing whether he will settle after a few minutes crying by himself.

 

5. Child-led separation

Attachment parents may request a longer settling in period to gradually accustom their child to you and your setting. Use this time to observe and learn how the parents and child interact so you can provide consistency. It doesn’t mean that they don’t trust you or are hanging around to be difficult!

Christmas presents for childcarers

Want to show your childcarer(s) how much you appreciate them but stuck for ideas? About to nip to Tesco to stock up on tins of Roses or bottles of vino? Hold on just a second and read our handy guide to buying something special for those other special people in your child’s life.

The task of buying for nursery staff can be daunting. Most parents opt for a a special something for their child’s keyworker and a joint gift for the staff in the room – a hamper with teas, herbal teas and coffees or some nice handwash and hand cream. They’re probably overflowing with chocolates and wine so think outside the box a little. Individual pamper hampers are a nice personal gift if you don’t have too many people to buy for or  individual cards with a voucher or gift card for an appropriate store will be appreciated too.

‘I didn’t know what to get the staff at nursery so I bought a plant for the staffroom and decorated it with cards and an ornament for each of them to take home’.

 

You’ll probably know a childminder or nanny better and be able to find something to their taste – a good book, tickets to a show or a gadget you know they’ll love. Unless you know that they love a particular type of chocolate or are partial to a nice G&T of an evening, try to avoid chocolate or alcohol based gifts. Equally a photo of your children, while very sweet, is unlikely to make them light up. They love them very much but chances are they have plenty of photos already. Cash always goes down well but it can feel awkward trying to decide an amount if it’s their only present- 1 week’s salary is a good guide for a nanny.

‘I gave my nanny a KitchenAid , which was less than a week’s salary but far more appreciated, and  a lift home so she didn’t need to take it on the tube!’

 

It can be more difficult giving cash to childminders, and if you’re strapped for cash a week is a lot of money, but if you do then make it clear it’s for them to spend on themselves. Sometimes the best gifts combine the practical with the personal – a case for an iPad or a smart hat and gloves set if you notice theirs are looking a big tatty. A token gift that you’ve put a lot of thought into is worth far more than an envelope stuffed with banknotes.

‘Our childminder is a big tea drinker but I know she restricts her cuppas to when my active 2 year old can’t charge into her and knock them over. I got her a spill proof insulated mug which came in handy when he dropped his nap.’

 

For a casual babysitter an extra bit of cash is probably most appreciated, tucked inside a nice card. If you prefer to give a present rather than slip an extra tenner their way then think about their interests or what they’ll find useful- if they’re a student then funky notebooks or pens for use in lectures may brighten up their day.

‘My babysitter is a retired lady who lives a few doors down and has a beautiful garden. We got her a new pair of gardening gloves and some handcream so she can keep up the good work.’

 

If a carer has their own children with them at work you might want to buy a token gift for them as well. This doesn’t need to be expensive but will be very well received by the children and the thought and effort will be appreciated by your carer too.

Whether you give a significant gift or not,  put the effort into making a card with your children – the glitterier and messier the better – and send a card from yourself as well with a note saying how much you appreciate them! That’s a gift that keeps on giving.

Separation Anxiety

Separating from their primary carer is a difficult experience for babies, and their parents too! In this post we look at some of the causes of separation anxiety and strategies to help.

 

What is separation anxiety?

Most people equate separation anxiety with crying and clinginess to a familiar adult. Separation anxiety is a natural stage that most children experience for the first time between 7 and 12 months. It’s a perfectly normal reaction to being parted from their primary carer. Unfortunately it also often coincides with a child entering childcare for the first time as a parent goes back to work. By the time a child is 2 years old, separation anxiety should have calmed down, although they may still be anxious or nervous about staying with an unfamiliar adult or in an unfamiliar place the first time it happens. Children (and adults) continue to experience some symptoms of separation anxiety even when they can rationalise what it happening. This can often be seen in parents leaving their child for the first time!

 

What causes separation anxiety?

Separation anxiety occurs when babies realise that things and people exist even when they can’t be seen. Babies realise that they are alone and feel that there should be someone there, so may cry in the night if they wake and find themselves alone or cry if you leave the room, or they feel anxious when a familiar adult leaves, even if there is someone to look after them.

 

What can help?

This depends on what is causing the anxiety and the extent you’re prepared to compromise what you do.

If a baby experiences separation anxiety every time you leave the room one option is to take them with you. At some stage they will outgrow their anxiety but this isn’t always practical.

Another strategy is to practice, first by playing peekaboo or hide and seek and then leaving the room and popping back in frequently. Say that you’re going and you’ll be back soon, and don’t worry if you can only manage 10 seconds at first. The most important thing is that you leave and come back.

Children will often experience less separation anxiety if left with another familiar adult so try to balance time spent with Mummy where Daddy leaves and time spent with Daddy and Mummy leaves. A child will feel more secure about the absence of one parent because the other parent is still there. Having other familiar adults – extended family, neighbours or friends – who will stay while you leave, even if it’s just to make a cup of tea, will acclimatise them to being without you without being alone.

At night or nap time do comfort a child but keep visits short and try to avoid lots of interaction. Their separation anxiety is real and distressing for them and they need to know that you are there. If they are unable to fall asleep because they are so distressed try the gradual retreat method where you put them in their cot and sit beside them, gradually moving further and further away until you are out the door. It may take a while and you need to be consistent but it is a gentle way to help them overcome their fear.

 

Separation anxiety and childcare – some advice for parents.

Children who have only ever been in the care of their parents naturally experience separation anxiety when they enter childcare or school.Children who are used to being around a wide range of familiar adults, for example extended family, are less likely to protest when Mummy or Daddy leaves although they are still likely to experience some separation anxiety. The transition just feels easier because they are accustomed to you leaving and coming back and you are used to leaving them.

It’s important to have a settling in period with a childminder or nursery, or a handover with a new nanny. Build up to a short day by first leaving for short periods, then half days and eventually a full day.

Make sure you always say good-bye when you go, and childcarers should always say good-bye at the end of the day too. Once you have left resist the temptation to pop back and see how they’re doing and then leaving again – this is confusing for children.

Always be positive about your chosen childcare. If your child senses that you are nervous or unsure they will pick up on this and feel unsettled too.

How to talk to children about upsetting events

After the horrendous bombings at the Boston marathon, you may be asked questions by the children you care for. It’s understandable that they will want to make sense of the upsetting events around them, the images they see on the TV for the front pages of newspapers and perhaps the seemingly inexplicable sadness of adults around them. These questions do deserve answers, because they are a sign of a child’s worry which can easily multiply out of control but it’s best to talk to the children’s parents first about how they want their child’s questions handled.

At times such as these it’s especially important to maintain a routine and sense of normality. This provides children with the safety and security that they need. Getting out and about will allow children to see that their own neighbourhood is carrying on with daily life. This is an important step in separating which is shown on TV from their reality.

How much you tell a child will depend on their age and their personality. Younger children don’t yet have the capacity to separate what is away and close to them from fictional portrayals or events further away. They may become very scared and overwhelmed by their fears. At this age it’s important to reiterate that they are safe and this is something which happened far away. Focus on the positive role carried out by the emergency services and do acknowledge the sadness that injury and death brings but don’t dwell on it.

Older children still need to be reassured that they are safe but they are more likely to ask quoins owns about why it happened and whether it will happen to them. Questions of this nature are difficult to answer appropriately and it’s best to keep responses as simple as possible. Do be careful if children propose extreme solutions, either influenced by films or video games or repeating something they have heard an adult say. It’s important to encourage them to trust in the justice system and not assign blame, even if we ourselves are railing at the perpetrators. Children often have a strong innate sense of justice and want to know that the people responsible will in some way be punished but that can be disproportionate.

Although presenting a calm exterior and brave face to children is important, nannies must not just block out events around them. It is both permissible and appropriate to express shock and disbelief, or to want to seek reassurance. Alone all day without adult company it can be easy for things to prey on your mind. Talk to others – a mentor, a trusted nanny friend or an online community – who understand the pressures and may be able to share coping strategies or provide ideas for answering difficult questions, which may continue to surface in the days and weeks to come.