Tag: grinds

Respect

Ask most nannies what they want in a job and they’ll tell you that what really makes a difference is respect. But what is respecting your nanny when all is said and done? We’ve come up with R.E.S.P.E.C.T. to help you respect your nanny.

Ask most nannies what they want in a job and they’ll tell you that what really makes a difference is respect. But what is respecting your nanny when all is said and done? We’ve come up with R.E.S.P.E.C.T. to help you respect your nanny.

Rights
Nannies have the same employment rights as anyone else and they don’t appreciate employers trying to cut corners. They are entitled to National Minimum Wage if live out, 5.6 weeks paid holiday per year, statutory sick, maternity, paternity and adoption pay, time off for ante-natal appointments, a contract, redundancy pay, notice of the end of employment and a whole lot more.

Earnings
While nannies of course love looking after children it is their job, and they expect to be paid the correct amount, on time. If you’re not sure how much to pay your nanny and how much goes to the tax-man, think about engaging a professional payroll company to manage it for you. They’ll produce the payslips too, which help your nanny keep track of their earnings.

Space
Live in nannies especially need their space respected. Their room should be for their use only, not extra storage for you or an additional guest room when they’re away. But respecting space isn’t just about physical space – it’s also about not contacting your nanny outside work hours unless it’s an emergency and allowing them to have a personal life that you don’t know about.

Professionalism
Nannies rarely give advice unless its asked for but they may make suggestions on ways to manage behaviour or translations. Respecting your nanny’s professional knowledge and experience makes for a happy relationship. Professional nannies are also capable of getting on with the job and don’t need micro-managing. Respect your nanny’s daily routines and timescales as long as everything is accomplished.

Expenses
No-one likes being out of pocket for work and nannies are no exception. If a nanny has paid for something out of their own pocket then the respectful thing to do is pay them back promptly.

Choices (decisions)
When parents don’t respect and back-up the choices a nanny makes, children learn they don’t have to respect the nanny either. If nanny said no biscuit then respect the choice they made, even if it’s not what you would have said. If you do disagree with a choice your nanny has made, be respectful and approach them about it in private.

Time
Respecting your nanny’s hours is one of the simplest things you can do to show respect. Allow them to start work on time a be home for them to finish on time. Their finish time is the time they should be able to walk out the door, not the time you get home and start a run-down of the day.

Image © Photographer: Freds | Agency: Dreamstime.com

Seventeen self-care tips

It’s the Christmas comedown, winter blues, that time of the year when you feel generally sorry for yourself, and you need a bit of TLC.

Taking time to look after yourself and recharge is super-important for nannies. You can’t nurture your charges and be infinitely patient if you’re feeling down in the dumps. Try a few of these to put a spring in your step and show yourself some love.

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Why you put up with your nanny’s quirks

 This is a guest post from a reader who wishes to remain anonymous. Just to remind you we welcome all contributions, and look forward to a respectful discussion!

Sometimes your nanny will drive you crazy. She dumps her bag just inside the door. She teaches your children songs that get on your nerves (get on your nerves, get on your nerves). The garden has been turned into a mud-pit. She never writes enough in the nanny diary. She always uses the last of the butter. There’s only ever one baby wipe left in packet. But you wouldn’t swap, or would you?

You focus on the good and let the niggles slide, and that’s fine as long as they’re just niggles. You can stop here if using up the butter is your biggest bugbear. This article is not for you.

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Why children act up for their parents

‘They never behave like this with me’. ‘The minute the mother walks in the door all hell breaks loose’. ‘The house is like a zoo when I get home’.

It’s a common complaint on both sides. Why do children act up when both nanny and parents are present? Here are 3 possible explanations:

They’re playing ‘power struggle’. Kids know that there’s a sense of hierarchy and they’re trying to navigate the complicated world of human relationships. When two people who are in charge of them are together, who is the one who has the ultimate power? The surest way for them to test this is to behave badly and see who tells them off, and whether the other person can over-rule any consequences.

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The less than perfect pram

Buying a pram is a huge decision for parents. In fact it’s probably the baby buy that they spend the most time on and among the most expensive items. Parents to be consider their comfort, what they will use the pram for and whether it will fit in their car….. but understandably they haven’t thought about their nanny.

 

Telling parents that you don’t like their pram is one of the most awkward things to do. You might be worried that you come across as petty or picky but a pram is an essential piece of equipment that you are likely to use every day and if you can’t push it comfortably, fold and unfold it, or fit it in your car then you need to tell them sooner rather than later. In a way it can feel like you’re questioning their parenting choices, because a pram is after all not just a mode of baby transport. It’s a very obvious signal to the rest of the world of the image that they want to project and their ideas may not mesh with what you know is comfortable for you. So how do you go about it?

In this case honestly is the best policy and make it clear that these are your personal feelings about an inanimate object, so rather than saying ‘your pram is really heavy’ try saying ‘I find the pram really heavy’. Offer workable solutions: ask them to teach you how to put it up and down, suggest that you take the bus instead of using your car or that they get a ‘car buggy’ for days out and you can use their pram when walking. If the handles are too high you can approach it in a joky manner, but don’t underestimate how serious a problem it is for you in the long term.

If you know of any affordable replacements then if they offer to get a new pram you can be ready with suggestions that will suit everyone. One of the biggest issues is height difference so if you’ve done some research don’t make the same mistake and forget about your very tall DadBoss!

The Trouble with Teens

The trouble with teens is they think they don’t need a nanny or au pair, especially if you’ve been with them since they were much younger. They might feel that they’ve outgrown you or be embarrassed that their friends don’t have someone looking after them. The truth is they don’t need you in the same way but that’s not to say they don’t need you at all.

They need a cook, chauffeur, laundry maid and friend – all of which are file in the dictionary of job descriptions under ‘nanny’. Parents who keep nannies on for older children often have busy lives, working long hours or traveling frequently and want someone else to take care of the day to day tasks so weekend time as a family can be maximized. So teens do still need someone to buy their supplies for school projects, someone to make sure they get some dinner and someone they trust who isn’t a parent or teacher to talk to. Next time they say they don’t need you then point out all the practical things you do.

The teenage years are a difficult time bringing lots of changes. If you’re young you might find it difficult to maintain your authority because they realise that firstly people have to earn respect and authority and secondly they’re not so much younger than you after all, which is often a problem for au pairs. If you’re more mature they might feel that you’re out of touch and don’t understand them.

Take time to connect with teens in your care. Fake an interest in the latest band/singer/soap if you have to because it’s important to them and it gives you something safe to talk about. Give them space and privacy with their friends and don’t push them for details of what’s going on at school unless there’s a problem.

Give them freedom, as long as your employers are happy, to manage their time or walk back from school/the bus by themselves. Learning independence is an important part of being a teen and it can be hard to resist the temptation as a nanny to ‘nanny’ them. Sometimes the very title nanny is a red flag to teens so have a chat with them and come up with a description you’re both happy with that they can use to other people. You can become their sibling’s nanny or a family assistant – your professional pride might take a hit but you can still list the job as nanny on your CV.

The hardest thing about nannying teens is leaning that you have to give a little on the boundaries. Consistency and structure are vital for toddler and younger school aged children but teens needs negotiation too. Get it right and you’ll have a treasured place in your teen charge’s heart, not that they’ll ever admit it!

How to lose your nanny in 10 days

© Tofi | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

 

1. Don’t sort the paperwork

Ideally you should have a contract in place before your nanny starts, but if you don’t then make signing one a top priority. Aside from being a legal obligation on your part, it’s a good idea to have the arrangement clarified in writing. You’ll also need her bank details and her National Insurance number, as well as her P45 from her previous job, to pay her correctly.

 

2. Don’t say thank you

It’s nice to say thank you to your nanny at the end of every day, but it’s absolutely vital if she goes out of her way to do something, whether you’ve asked her to or not. You might be paying her but a little gratitude goes a long way.

 

3. Go back on your word

The relationship between a nanny and employer is based on mutual trust and respect. You trust her to care for your children and she trusts you to keep your end of the bargain. If you agree to something, be it going to a specific playgroup or that she can leave half an hour early one day, don’t suddenly turn around and say you’ve changed your mind and it’s no longer possible.

 

4. Tell her she can’t sit on your chair

It’s understandable that even though you’ve let someone into your home you’ll still want to keep a bit of privacy, but do remember that it’s your nanny’s place of work where she will spend a great deal of time, and it’s vital that she feel comfortable. Dictating where she can and can’t sit is petty, and slights like that won’t make for an easy working relationship.

 

5. Be late without notice

Emergencies happen, that’s one of the reason why a nanny is such a great form of childcare, but it absolutely doesn’t excuse lateness with no warning. If your nanny finishes at 6, you haven’t left the office at 5.30 and you know it takes you 45 minutes to get home, you’re already late. Take a moment out of whatever you’re dealing with to call your nanny and apologise. Remember she may have plans for the evening too so she may not be thrilled with the news.

 

6. Don’t top up the kitty or reimburse her for expenses

If you ask your nanny to pick up essentials, such as nappies or bread, or expect her to take your children to activities then it’s expected that you pay for it. It’s courteous to provide a kitty for your nanny so she doesn’t have to fund day to day expenditure out of her own pocket, but if this is the arrangement you have make sure you pay her back promptly.

 

7. Leave a critical note, but don’t suggest improvements

Nannies don’t have mind-reading superpowers (for people over the age of 3, that is) so any time you need to tell your nanny you’d rather she did something a different way, tell her how you’d like it done. Also make sure you give any constructive criticism face to face – it can be really demoralising when someone is nice to your face and then an hour later you discover they weren’t happy at all.

 

8. Ask her to clean your bathroom

Most nannies will happily take care of nursery duties – that is chores related directly to the children such as cleaning up after meals, doing their laundry and hovering their bedrooms and playroom. Although some nannies will be happy to take on additional housekeeping duties, cleaning your bathroom is a step too far. Remember the top priority for a nanny is always the children.

 

9. Take a day off to follow her around

You probably don’t work too well with your boss breathing down your neck and your nanny is no exception. It’s difficult to interact naturally with children, sing, dance and be silly, if you know someone else is judging your every move. Added to that, children always behave differently when their parents are around, so any judgements you make are likely to be based on unsound evidence.

 

10. Don’t pay her

As much as your nanny probably loves her job, as a professional she does expect to be paid. Non-payment is a breach of contract, and your nanny would be perfectly justified in leaving immediately.

Private Tutor 101

What is a private tutor?

A private tutor is a highly knowledgeable, usually somewhat qualified individual who teaches students privately to help them develop their knowledge of certain subjects.  Tutoring can be a fulfilling and very lucrative part-time job – or even full time, if you gain enough students.

 

Who would hire a private tutor?

Private tutors teach tutees of all age groups, from very young children to mature adults.  There are a huge number of reasons why someone might hire a private tutor – private tutoring is popular with many different people.  They may be:

 

  • A teenager wanting to improve on a certain subject that they are struggling with for their GCSE’s
  • Parents of a home educated child, who feel that their own knowledge or teaching skills in some subjects is lacking
  • A mature student (or indeed any student) who feels the need to ‘bulk up’ their learning outside of school hours
  • Anybody who feels they need a more tailored approach to education than a school environment can offer

 

How much will a private tutor cost?

Depending on the subject and level of education, you can expect to pay somewhere between £20-£35 per hour for private tutoring.  However, many trainee teachers will offer their services as a private tutor for much less than this as a way to hone their teaching skills further.  If the private tutor will have to travel, it is generally expected that the tutee will pay their travel expenses.

 

I want to become a private tutor. What qualifications do I need?

You will need to have an excellent level of knowledge in the subject you wish to teach, plus the ability to tailor your teaching techniques to your student.  Excellent interpersonal skills are of a very high priority.  It is not necessary to have a teaching qualification, however your level of formal qualification will dictate how much you can charge.  PGCE graduates will be able to charge more than those who haven’t qualified yet, just as experienced teachers will be able to charge more than NQT’s (Newly Qualified Teachers)

 

How can I find work as a private tutor?

You can advertise your services anywhere you wish – local papers, shop windows and billboards are popular choices. However, arguably the best way to advertise is through specialist agencies.  These of course will charge a fee but many feel that it is a small price to pay to ensure your ad reaches those who want to see it.  Many private tutors find work solely through word-of-mouth recommendations, so do a good job and you may find your tutees spread the word!

 

Is there anything else I need to know?

As a private tutor you will be self-employed, so you will need to deal with your own income tax and National Insurance contributions.  Also, it would be very beneficial for you to obtain an enhanced CRB (Criminal Records Bureau) check.  At the present time it is not possible for individuals to obtain these, so signing up with an agency for private tutors would be a good idea.