How to lose your nanny in 10 days

© Tofi | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

1. Don’t sort the paperwork

Ideally you should have a contract in place before your nanny starts, but if you don’t then make signing one a top priority. Aside from being a legal obligation on your part, it’s a good idea to have the arrangement clarified in writing. You’ll also need her bank details and her National Insurance number, as well as her P45 from her previous job, to pay her correctly.

2. Don’t say thank you

It’s nice to say thank you to your nanny at the end of every day, but it’s absolutely vital if she goes out of her way to do something, whether you’ve asked her to or not. You might be paying her but a little gratitude goes a long way.

3. Go back on your word

The relationship between a nanny and employer is based on mutual trust and respect. You trust her to care for your children and she trusts you to keep your end of the bargain. If you agree to something, be it going to a specific playgroup or that she can leave half an hour early one day, don’t suddenly turn around and say you’ve changed your mind and it’s no longer possible.

4. Tell her she can’t sit on your chair

It’s understandable that even though you’ve let someone into your home you’ll still want to keep a bit of privacy, but do remember that it’s your nanny’s place of work where she will spend a great deal of time, and it’s vital that she feel comfortable. Dictating where she can and can’t sit is petty, and slights like that won’t make for an easy working relationship.

5. Be late without notice

Emergencies happen, that’s one of the reason why a nanny is such a great form of childcare, but it absolutely doesn’t excuse lateness with no warning. If your nanny finishes at 6, you haven’t left the office at 5.30 and you know it takes you 45 minutes to get home, you’re already late. Take a moment out of whatever you’re dealing with to call your nanny and apologise. Remember she may have plans for the evening too so she may not be thrilled with the news.

6. Don’t top up the kitty or reimburse her for expenses

If you ask your nanny to pick up essentials, such as nappies or bread, or expect her to take your children to activities then it’s expected that you pay for it. It’s courteous to provide a kitty for your nanny so she doesn’t have to fund day to day expenditure out of her own pocket, but if this is the arrangement you have make sure you pay her back promptly.

7. Leave a critical note, but don’t suggest improvements

Nannies don’t have mind-reading superpowers (for people over the age of 3, that is) so any time you need to tell your nanny you’d rather she did something a different way, tell her how you’d like it done. Also make sure you give any constructive criticism face to face – it can be really demoralising when someone is nice to your face and then an hour later you discover they weren’t happy at all.

8. Ask her to clean your bathroom

Most nannies will happily take care of nursery duties – that is chores related directly to the children such as cleaning up after meals, doing their laundry and hovering their bedrooms and playroom. Although some nannies will be happy to take on additional housekeeping duties, cleaning your bathroom is a step too far. Remember the top priority for a nanny is always the children.

9. Take a day off to follow her around

You probably don’t work too well with your boss breathing down your neck and your nanny is no exception. It’s difficult to interact naturally with children, sing, dance and be silly, if you know someone else is judging your every move. Added to that, children always behave differently when their parents are around, so any judgements you make are likely to be based on unsound evidence.

10. Don’t pay her

As much as your nanny probably loves her job, as a professional she does expect to be paid. Non-payment is a breach of contract, and your nanny would be perfectly justified in leaving immediately.

Meet The Blissful Baby Expert

This is a guest blog from Lisa Clegg, author of The Blissful Baby Expert. She shares how she came to write her manual for parents.

I grew up the 4^th eldest out of 26 grandchildren, surrounded by babies and small children from a young age. I’ve always been particularly interested in small babies and I was always the one who volunteered to take any babies off their parents’ hands at family get togethers and parties!

All I ever wanted to do was get a job working with children and after leaving school I went straight to college to do what was then called the NNEB-equivalent to an NVQ level 3 in childcare.

After completing the 2-year course I went straight into my 1^st nanny position where I had sole charge of 3 children. I continued in nannying up until I had my 1^st baby – Jack – in October 2002.

After my 2^nd son was born in 2006, I began doing some maternity night nanny contracts. I discovered night nannying by accident really browsing though the nannyjob website which I enjoyed doing on a regular basis. Like many people I knew that some mothers employ someone to come and live in and help them after the birth of their baby, a Maternity Nurse. However, I didn’t realise that a mother could employ someone to JUST do the nights-allowing her the crucial part of the day covered so that she could get some sleep! Having just gone through the sleepless nights myself with my 2^nd baby I knew first hand how torturous it can be when feel like you will never get a full night’s sleep again! A good night’s sleep means you feel like you can cope with anything during the day!

I absolutely loved night nannying as it gave me access to the age group I loved working with the most – those tiny newborns – and I knew exactly how the mothers I worked for would be feeling. I LOVE my job and get so much satisfaction from starting work with a new family, who are usually in chaos with neither parent knowing quite where to start! It’s fantastic to leave them confident about caring for their baby, with a happy baby who eats and sleeps well.

By using a routine as a basis and gently steering babies in the right direction from day 1, I have left happy parents at the end of each contract whose babies typically drop their night feed between 8-10 weeks, settle well during sleep times and are in general very relaxed happy babies from day to day.

It has worked for many mums and babies and it was all of them that inspired me to write my book THE BLISSFUL BABY EXPERT. I wanted to reach out to so many more parents who are desperate for answers to basic questions and who just need someone to point them in the right direction of keeping life with a new-born baby on an even keel. My book gives mums that starting block and as a mother of 3 children myself I understand first hand how difficult life with a new-born can be when you are not sure where to begin!

This guide has information on essential and non-essential items and equipment to buy for your baby, what to expect when going into hospital, coming home and the first few days and weeks, feeding, sleep, weaning, common problems and illnesses for mum and baby and even developmental milestones.

It has been tested by many parents with young babies and they all agree that there is nothing on the market that is as honest, informative and parent friendly. All reviews so far have been fantastic. As a mother, I can empathise with all these parents and have been through many of the same scenarios. This is not something that a lot of authors who have written parenting books can say, as many of them have never had their own children and experienced the challenges that motherhood brings!

I hope that my book will continue to help many more mums in the future.

THE BLISSFUL BABY EXPERT can be purchased from Amazon in ebook form, which can be downloaded to an Ipad or Iphone as well as many other devices once the kindle App has been installed, or paperbacks can be ordered through the website www.theblissfulbabyexpert.co.uk

How to talk to children about upsetting events

After the horrendous bombings at the Boston marathon, you may be asked questions by the children you care for. It’s understandable that they will want to make sense of the upsetting events around them, the images they see on the TV for the front pages of newspapers and perhaps the seemingly inexplicable sadness of adults around them. These questions do deserve answers, because they are a sign of a child’s worry which can easily multiply out of control but it’s best to talk to the children’s parents first about how they want their child’s questions handled.

At times such as these it’s especially important to maintain a routine and sense of normality. This provides children with the safety and security that they need. Getting out and about will allow children to see that their own neighbourhood is carrying on with daily life. This is an important step in separating which is shown on TV from their reality.

How much you tell a child will depend on their age and their personality. Younger children don’t yet have the capacity to separate what is away and close to them from fictional portrayals or events further away. They may become very scared and overwhelmed by their fears. At this age it’s important to reiterate that they are safe and this is something which happened far away. Focus on the positive role carried out by the emergency services and do acknowledge the sadness that injury and death brings but don’t dwell on it.

Older children still need to be reassured that they are safe but they are more likely to ask quoins owns about why it happened and whether it will happen to them. Questions of this nature are difficult to answer appropriately and it’s best to keep responses as simple as possible. Do be careful if children propose extreme solutions, either influenced by films or video games or repeating something they have heard an adult say. It’s important to encourage them to trust in the justice system and not assign blame, even if we ourselves are railing at the perpetrators. Children often have a strong innate sense of justice and want to know that the people responsible will in some way be punished but that can be disproportionate.

Although presenting a calm exterior and brave face to children is important, nannies must not just block out events around them. It is both permissible and appropriate to express shock and disbelief, or to want to seek reassurance. Alone all day without adult company it can be easy for things to prey on your mind. Talk to others – a mentor, a trusted nanny friend or an online community – who understand the pressures and may be able to share coping strategies or provide ideas for answering difficult questions, which may continue to surface in the days and weeks to come.

How to create a nanny CV personal profile

Many people nowadays suggest that you add a personal profile to the top of your CV and nanny jobs are no different. Summing up your interests and experience in 3 or 4 lines, while daunting, allows you to showcase your strengths to parents from the very start. But what to include?

Your qualifications

You spent time gaining your qualifications so don’t hesitate to use the word trained and mention the awarding body. NNEB, CACHE and Montessori qualifications are all highly sought after. You don’t need to go into details of your course – there will be space for you to do that later on your CV.

Your experience

The word experienced will tick another box for many parents, simple as it may sound. You might want to specify what type of experience you have – nanny, nursery, teaching, childminding – or how much experience you have. Here is a great place to sum up whether you have experience as a maternity or night nanny, with multiples or as part of a nanny shar but again finer details should feature further down your CV.

Your approach

Are you firm with the children?A believer in routines? Are you spontaneous? Focused on education? Are you tidy? Calm? Active? Energetic? You should consider what you’re really like on a day to day basis and what your natural reaction to children is. Try to find adjectives which will really resonate with parents but be honest about what you’re really like.

(Just a little aside – flexible might be interpreted as willing to stay late or willing to do extra housework so consider how flexible you really are before you say the F-word!)

Your skills

Are you an amazing cook? Great at time management? Fluent in another language? A talented artist? A dab hand with a sewing machine? A black belt in karate? Anything with a wow factor should definitely appear in your personal profile.

Your wishlist

What kind of nanny job are you seeking? Live in or live out? Full or part time? Do you want the relationship to be friendly but entirely professional? Do you want to become part of the family? Are you looking for a hectic but stimulating position with a busy family or would you prefer something more laid back? You personal profile is your only brief chance to mention your requirements on your CV!

Finally, get a friend or past employer to read it over for you. Sometimes other people can be a better judge of what we write than we can ourselves and they may have ideas that haven’t crossed your mind.

The wheels on the car go round and round

freeimage-6735132(1) — © Teo73 | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

It’s a rare child who never has to go in the car, and an even rarer one who never fights going into the carseat or gets bored after 5 minutes making a journey less than pleasant for everyone involved. Today we’re going to look at some ideas which will hopefully make your life easier.

Earlier this year we came across a nifty little product on Twitter, called My Car Step, which attaches safely to the car seat. Invented by a mum fed up of battling her daughter, this award winning product allows children to climb into the carseat by themselves instead of being lifted, or manhandled, in. As we said in our post on tantrums, allowing children independence can defuse situations and, as a bonus this will save your back some strain, because you no longer need to perform contorted lifting manoeuvres. For nannies or childminders, who can lift multiple children into carseats on a daily basis for twenty years or more, good lifting technique and minimising strain is invaluable.

Once your little cherubs are safely attached it’s worth making the environment as comfortable as possible. Sunshades will reduce glare and making sure that the children are wearing the name number of layers as you will allow you to control the car’s temperature appropriately. Take their personal preferences into account regarding recline where possible – better that a child is happy but falls asleep upright than is reclined from the start and protests all the way. On long journeys you can stop briefly to adjust the recline to ensure they remain comfortable. Before setting off check that they have any toys within easy reach, and if necessary a drink of some kind.

Music can make journeys a lot more bearable for children, as singing along to their favourite nursery rhymes with sound effects and actions will keep them occupied. If it gets unbearable for you make a compilation of songs you all enjoy and listen to that instead. While you may appreciate the radio, young children may be bored by adverts and some songs won’t be age appropriate.

One perennial favourite is I-spy, a game with endless possibilities and several variations. Under-2s will join in looking for objects if you say ‘I spy with my little eye a bus/tractor/cow’. Preschoolers are able to identify objects associated with colours ‘I spy something red/green/yellow’ and once children are confidently recognising phonics or letters your can play the classic version.

Older children who don’t get car sick can play a version of I-spy bingo. Create some cars with pictures of different objects such as a bus, a set of traffic lights, a bicycle or a letterbox, and include some less common ones. When children see the object they can mark it on their card. The idea is to get a row, or if your feeling really adventurous, a full house. This also improves memory and recall as they will need to be able to tell you when and where they saw the objects.

Children who can recognise letters can help you make up funny sentences from the letters on car number plates. Y491 AMS makes You Are My Squishy or You Ate Many Satsumas. K920 LSC can become Katie Likes Scented Candles or Kicking Leaves Someone Crying.

Even young children can get involved in making up stories about other people on the road. This enhances social and emotional development, introduces children to situational humour, and exercises their imagination. This is especially good if you’re stuck in traffic and can see pedestrians walking by. You can pick someone who is walking by and ask the children where they think the person is going. Are they in a hurry? Why might that be?

Check our our ‘Travel with children‘ board on Pinterest for more ideas.

Finally, even if the traffic is frustrating, you’re late and it’s raining outside, keep your cool. Children will easily pick up on tension and frustration, and if you’re constantly enraged when on the road they’ll begin to associate going in the car with negative emotions. Ideally journeys should be fun and education, but most of all, happy!

We hope you find some of this helpful. What’s your fail safe technique for car journeys?

Nanny Natter

Two beautifull young women — from http://www.stockfreeimages.com/

It’s half-term and for some people that means a whirl of playdates and trips out, for others it means the cancellation of the only adult interaction they have in their week.

It can be tough as a nanny to find people to talk to as nannies don’t have colleagues in the traditional sense. New jobs often mean losing touch with an established circle of nanny friends and any local nannies may know your own employers. Plus talking about your employer or charge to someone who knows them without revealing confidential information is virtually impossible when they know your charges and possibly your employers, and that can add up to create a lonely situation.

Nannyjob has a long history of providing nannies with a chance to talk to and meet fellow nannies and childcare professionals. Our messageboards are one of the few dedicated nanny forums on the web with sections for training and careers, resources, places to go and things to do, and meet other nannies as well as general childcare, events and chat so you can ask questions, share advice and get ideas. Check out discussions on what you need when you start a new job, structured learning for young children, and Happyland!

We also have a Facebook page where we can post questions on behalf of nannies or parents and open the question to our network of 1,400 (and counting). It’s also a great place to keep up with our blog posts on Government proposals, our parent blogger, articles on articles about essential skills for nannies or different careers in childcare and we’ll soon be launching a nanny panel on our blog who will give their personal take on different situations that nannies encounter in their work. You can follow us on Twitter too @nanny_job and join in discussions there.

When nannies or other childcarers register on the site to create a CV and use the jobseeker or babysitting advert services, they also have the opportunity to join the Nannyjob Social Club. This allows you to make nanny friends in your area either by putting a profile up and waiting for them to contact you or contacting people who have already posted their profile. It’s a great way to get started if you’re new to an area and worth checking on a regular basis to see whether anyone has recently moved to your area too.

Come and join one (or all!) of our communities today!

A Career As A Nanny, Is It For You?

What is a nanny?

A nanny is a professional childcare provider. A nanny works in a similar way to a childminder, with the difference that she will work in the client’s home rather than in her own home.

What does a nanny do?

Many people are under the assumption that being a nanny is easy. They think that it’s simply a case of playing with somebody else’s children all day. Well, there is playing involved, but there’s a lot more to it than that.

A nanny will usually work long hours, and will spend the majority of her time ferrying children around to various activities, doing the school run, preparing meals and tidying up after the children. As a nanny, you will earn a reasonably good wage but you will not usually get very much time off.

Being a nanny is hard graft. You will need to have excellent interpersonal skills and a high level of patience. As well as looking after the children, you will likely be responsible for some housekeeping too – the level of which should be negotiated when drawing up your contract.

However, the rewards are not just monetary. Being a nanny can be an incredibly enjoyable and rewarding job for somebody who loves taking care of children. It is a very important job – the children you care for will remember you for the rest of their lives. You will be the person who is mostly responsible for their day-to-day care, therefore the bond you will forge with them will be strong.

Why a nanny?

All kinds of families hire nannies, but the majority of families that do are busy, full-time working parents. They choose nannies because they are the most convenient solution to their childcare needs. They often start work early and finish late, so they need a childcare provider who will either be on-site (most nannies are live-in nannies) or who will come to the house to work. They haven’t got the time to be dropping off and picking up their children from nursery or from a childminders home.

Additionally, many parents prefer to use a nanny because it can be beneficial emotionally for the children. It is vitally important that children are able to form strong attachments with their carers in their early years. A nanny often becomes like a much-loved relative, or even a third parent. This kind of bond is very important and this may well be the parents’ motivation for choosing a nanny.

What qualifications do I need to be a nanny?

Although you do not technically need any qualifications to be a nanny, employers will be looking for proof of your skills. The N.N.E.B Diploma is widely recognised and, up until recently, was considered to be the only nanny qualification that was necessary. Now, there are many courses you can attend to gain skills, but an N.N.E.B Diploma is what employers will be looking for.

However, many experienced and brilliant nannies will have no formal qualifications. They will have excellent references, though, and many years of experience under their belts.

You will also need to provide an enhanced disclosure to be able to work as a nanny in the UK, and at least a basic first aid certificate.

Please note – for the purpose of this article I have referred to nannies as female. However, there are male nannies out there, but they are not as common as female nannies.

Childcare: Which Provider is Right for You?

Childcare is something that nearly all parents will have to consider at some stage. Nowadays, most parents need to work at least part-time, or they may choose to work. Even those that are full time stay-at-home parents will probably need to utilise the services of a childcare provider at some point during their children’s lives.

There are lots of options available to choose from when it comes to childcare. In this article, we will go over the commonly available childcare providers in the hope that we will make a sometimes-difficult (and often emotional) decision a little easier.

Childminders

Childminders are self-employed childcare professionals who look after children in their own homes, from very young babies to pre-teens. They are usually able to provide flexible hours, and are sometimes able to pick up and drop off children, which can make life a little easier for a busy working parent. Childminder rates across the country vary, but the average is £3.84 per child per hour. The benefits of using a childminder are many, especially for the child who will usually find it easier to settle in than they would at a nursery.

Nurseries

Nurseries provide childcare to many children at once. They generally accept children from a few weeks old, until the age of four. The children are usually cared for in large groups, with the babies being kept separately from the older ones. Many parents prefer to have a childminder or nanny to provide childcare for their little ones because the busy environment of a nursery can be too much for a baby or toddler. However, some children thrive on the stimulating and structured environment of a nursery – it all depends on the child’s individual temperament. Nursery fees vary, but for a child under two it can cost £177 per week for a full-time place – even more in inner London.

Nannies

Nannies provide childcare in the child’s home, and usually live on-site. You would be the nanny’s employer, and therefore would be responsible for paying her tax and NI contributions. Nannies are a popular childcare choice with parents who both work long hours. They are generally the most expensive childcare provider, with their take-home wages ranging from £280-£380 per week. Many parents see this as a small price to pay to have their childcare provider on site, available for unsociable hours if she is needed (although her hours will need to be agreed upon in advance and contracted). There is also an emotional benefit to the children, who will be looked after by the same person each day in a familiar environment.

Au Pairs

Au pairs are usually the cheapest childcare option, as they don’t generally charge a real wage. They will live in your home, so you will be required to feed them and house them, as well as paying them pocket money of a minimum of £65 per week if they are working 25 hours. Au pairs come from other European countries, and come to the UK on au pair schemes to improve their English whilst doing some babysitting to earn money. They will also usually do some housekeeping. Au pairs should be treated as part of the family rather than an employee, and they shouldn’t be required to work the same long hours of a nanny because they need time to study.