Tag: nanny grinds

Persistent lateness and how to deal with it

It’s 10 minutes past finishing time and no sign of your employers, no call, no text. It’s 40 minutes past your contracted finish and your employer breezes in saying “Sorry! See you tomorrow.” It’s been 3 hours, you’ve put the children to bed, cancelled your plans for the evening and made a half-hearted attempt at tackling the ironing pile when your phone beeps – “Dinner nearly through, home in an hour or so”. Sound familiar?

Using the highly scientific research method known as ‘asking some people we know’ we found that this problem is shockingly common and there seem to be three main reasons for employer lateness, which require different tactics to resolve.

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Nanny or Nanny-housekeeper?

The rise of the nanny-housekeeper has been pretty universal. All over the country nannies are reporting that new jobs come with more household duties than they used to, and bosses are increasingly asking nannies to take on jobs around the house when charges move on to school or nursery.

It used to be said that you could either have a good cleaner or a good nanny. To a certain extent this holds – nannies become nannies, and train to become nannies, because they want to work with children. Most training courses don’t cover household duties, and placements in nurseries are more likely to be cleaning on a large scale using specially designed products and very resistant furniture. While nannies are usually happy to clear up after themselves and take on nursery duties such as children’s laundry, their focus will always be on the children and that may mean the housekeeping just doesn’t get done.

Cleaners are often great cleaners because of their attention to detail and their love of making things sparkle. That may mean their attention to the children suffers and their own feelings of frustration mount when things don’t stay clean and tidy for long.

So what can you reasonably expect someone to do when providing dedicated care for your children? The answer is it depends what you’re prepared to compromise on. If you’re modifying a job it’s important to discuss with your nanny what they feel capable or comfortable doing. A nanny who is also an excellent cook may not object to cooking a family meal for the evening and filling the freezer. A nanny who doesn’t mind ironing may be prepared to do yours alongside the children’s. Asking them if they would mind running the hoover round the rest of the house while they do the children’s bedrooms may also be possible, but do bear in mind the logistical problems this might bring if there are children at home full-time anfd the fact that nanny needs a break during the day!

A nanny-housekeeper, however, is employed to fulfill both roles and probably has experience of balancing the two. They are prepared to take on more cleaning than a dedicated nanny, will often shop and cook for the family and can work particularly well with school aged children. One of the most attractive features is how long-lived the role can be. Parents who are prepared to commit to employing a nanny-housekeeper from the start with more focus on childcare in the early years and on the household later will often find the same person will stay in the role, providing stability and continuity of care.

The 2 week itch

When you start a job everything seems great. Your charges are great. Your bosses are great. The area is great. The new routine is great.

Then reality hits, and at the end of the second week you wonder whether you really made the right choice after all. Are these hours as convenient as they seem? Is their behaviour getting worse? Are your bosses really pleased with what you’ve been doing? Maybe they’re re-evaluating their decision, just like you’re re-evaluating yours? Maybe this job is doomed? Is it worth the money to be unhappy? Are you even really unhappy?

When you start a job everything seems great. Your charges are great. Your bosses are great. The area is great. The new routine is great.

Then reality hits, and at the end of the second week you wonder whether you really made the right choice after all. Are these hours as convenient as they seem? Is their behaviour getting worse? Are your bosses really pleased with what you’ve been doing? Maybe they’re re-evaluating their decision, just like you’re re-evaluating yours? Maybe this job is doomed? Is it worth the money to be unhappy? Are you even really unhappy?

Recognise this feeling for what it is and you’ll feel better. It’s a natural instinct to take stock once the initial excitement of a new job has worn off, especially if your previous job was a good fit and you felt very comfortable. Building up trust with a new family is a relatively slow process and things won’t feel the same for a while. It’s a good idea to persevere until the end of the probationary period so you know you’ve given it a good shot, and things will probably improve past the 2 week point anyway.

Addressing any niggles you have at this stage is vital to prevent potentially difficult situations from escalating. Hearing positive feedback will boost your self-esteem and your employers will be reassured that you’re making an effort to fit in with their needs and wants rather than powering ahead with the way you’ve always done things. It also gives your bosses a safe space to raise anything they aren’t happy about. Everyone makes mistakes and it’s almost inevitable that you’ll have done something differently to how they would do it but rather than letting it build up you should clear the air and find out what they want you to do in future, or explain why you’ve chosen to do something differently.

Isolation can be a big factor if you’ve just moved to a new area or your nanny friends have charges of a different age. Be proactive about going out and finding new friends or tapping into contacts your bosses have already made, and don’t lose touch with your old friends. Nannies need peer support just as much as anyone else and your previous nanny network can help you through a tough time even if you don’t see them as often as you used to. If you’re new to nannying then try to buddy up with an experienced nanny to mentor you through the transition.

Give yourself positive things to look forward to over the next week at work and out of work too – introduce your charges to your favourite activities or plan a fun outing and treat yourself to something midweek as a little pick-me-up. The more positive memories and feelings you have about a new job, the more relaxed and confident you’ll feel, and everyone will pick up on it.

If nothing seems to be working give yourself a timeframe where you’ll give it your best, and if you don’t feel any different make the decision to move on. There’s no shame in accepting that you and the family aren’t a good match and you’ll soon find a job that’s perfect for you.