Tag: nanny notice

Nanny Tips: Dealing with Disagreements

Every nanny’s dream is finding a family to work for, long term, that they click with.  The reality is that sometimes, even when a nanny has found that family, disagreements will still occur.  This is to be expected, and is usually nothing to worry about.

In much the same way as your personal relationships, disagreements and issues within working relationships needn’t spell the end of the relationship.  Most of the time they can be dealt with easily and with the minimum of drama.

Dealing with these disagreements in the right way is vital to maintaining a healthy working relationship with the family.  Following are some tips to help you deal with them, or avoid them altogether.

 

Make sure you have a contract

An in-depth nanny contract is the most effective way to prevent disagreements and issues occurring.  Although verbal contracts are legally binding, they are open to interpretation so it is important that your agreement is put down in writing and signed by all parties.  Insist that a contract is drawn up and signed as soon as possible after starting work, preferably before you start – and definitely by a month or two after your start date.  Be sure to keep your copy safe.

 

Check your contract

If you find yourself disagreeing with the parents over something like holiday or house rules, check the contract over.  It is easy to forget small points, especially things that may not have stuck out in your mind when the contract was drawn up.  The disagreement could be down to a simple misunderstanding on their (or your) behalf.

 

Be upfront from the beginning

Before you agree to work for a family, be sure to inform them of anything that could affect your ability to work the hours they require, if you have any holidays booked, or anything else that affects your work.  If these things are dealt with early on, they shouldn’t cause a problem later on.

 

Don’t wait for resentment to build

If something has bothered you then you need to be politely honest about it before it becomes a huge issue in your mind.  The problem might be something small and easily fixed – for example, the parents unthinkingly allowing the children to wake you up on a Saturday morning when you’re off-duty – or it may just be the product of a misunderstanding.  Either way, dealing with issues in a friendly manner, if and when they arise, is far preferable than hoping the problem will go away by itself.  That very rarely happens, and you will end up feeling resentful and angry towards the family.

 

Give plenty of notice

If you need some time off that hasn’t been pre-arranged with the family, make sure you broach the subject with plenty of time to spare.  They may not be able to fulfil your request but they have much more chance of doing so if they have enough time to organise alternative childcare, and they will appreciate the effort of giving plenty of notice.

When it doesn’t work out

Last week we posted about the ‘two week itch’, that point where the reality of your new job (or nanny) sinks in and you start to find things that you’re not happy with. Hopefully these issues can be resolved by communicating openly about your feelings and expectations and you can move forward happily. Unfortunately sometimes the situation doesn’t improve and you’re faced with a choice of bringing the arrangement to an end or persevering but being unhappy.

In a tough market it can be difficult to take the brave decision to give notice. If you’re still in the probationary period the contractual notice may be very short – perhaps one week instead of four, which doesn’t leave much time to find a new job or find a new nanny. You can give more notice that the minimum required but it’s good practice to agree on an end date and stick to that.

Notice should always be given in writing. You don’t need to give your reasons in the letter, but we would strongly recommend having an honest conversation about why you’re choosing to move on. It’s possible that you can still find a way forward, but equally if you just feel that you’re not a good fit for each other then be open about that. Sometimes it can be difficult to put your finger on exactly what’s up but things you can’t measure such as how similar your childcare styles are or how well a nanny has bonded with the children are very important to a good relationship.

Working through the notice period might feel awkard, because in many ways giving notice is personal rejection. Some employers may choose to pay in lieu of notice and it’s not uncommon to feel concern about a nanny’s commitment to the job once notice has been given by either party. Equally nannies might feel that the trust in the relationship has been broken and that can affect their work and allow resentment to build up. It’s still important to remain polite and respectful and work together for the benefit of the children. Maintaining an effective working relationship in dififcult circumstances is a sign of professionalism and maturity.

Some employers will take the notice period into account when writing a reference and some won’t. Some will refuse to provide a reference altogether but that can leave a nanny in a tricky situation. Employers should be prepared to at least provide a written reference confirming dates and duties, and if it was the employer’s choice to give notice and the reasons for terminating the contract are mentioned in a verbal reference they should make sure these were raised with the nanny and the nanny given opportunities to improve. Where the job was obtained through an agency the agency should be able to confirm to any future employer that it’s not a suspicious gap on the nanny’s CV.

If you need to have this difficult conversation then choose a time when the children are occupied and not just as one of you is about to rush out the door. It’s usually better to put it off for day but have the time to talk. Never leave a letter for the other party to find when you’re not around!