Tag: nanny tips

Smart socialising for nannies

One of the biggest concerns for nannies and parents alike is that nannying can be isolating for both nanny and child. Social contact is important for all human beings and as well as giving children the opportunity to play with others, going to groups and setting up playdates also gives nannies the opportunity to model social skills and how to form healthy relationships. But if you’re new to having a nanny or new to an area, how do you get started?

 

Have clear expectations

Whether you’re a parent or a nanny the interview process is the time to test out the other party’s take on socialising. It’s a question that might throw first-time employers but it can be helpful to remember that nannies don’t have coworkers and benefit from some kind of adult contact during the day so although it might feel like they’re asking to have their friends over to drink your coffee that’s not really the case, they just happen to have a network of ‘colleagues’ that they can take from job to job. There are no hard and fast rules , the most important thing is that both sides are happy with what is agreed.

 

Nannies don’t just have to see nannies

Sometimes new nannies can get hung up on only soicalising with other nannies and miss out on all the other social possibilities out there. While it can be great to meet up with someone who understands where you’re coming from, parents and childminders at groups with similar aged children can also enrich your social circle and at the end of the day playdates should be for children.

 

Be pro-active

Although there is a lot to get to grips with when you start a new job, be pro-active about finding social opportunities. Posting on the Nannyjob Meet Other Nannies messageboard or joining our social club for nannies can help you find nannies working near you and the Places to Go section will help you find activities in your area. Searching for groups and

 

Different social circles or friends in common?

This is probably one of the trickiest social situations to navigate. Are you happy to meet up with your boss’s NCT group and are they comfortable with that? Would you prefer that your nanny only meets up with people you know during work hours? What about playdates for school aged children? What about nannies who only work part-time? Again there are no hard and fast rules but communication is key to finding something that works for both of you!

How to keep your nanny – 10 ways

A while ago we posted a tongue in cheek post ‘How to lose your nanny in 10 days‘. Hopefully you’ve avoided making most of these mistakes and have a happy, settled relationship with your nanny. As the festive season looms (to be followed by that horrid January slump) we thought now might be a good time to look at ways you can keep your nanny happy.

  • Remember that one-off gestures are all well and good but the best way to keep your relationship (be it with your nanny or anyone else in fact) is constantly paying attention to the little things. Respecting your nanny will go a long way to ensuring their happiness and if you don’t have time to click on the link RESPECT stands for Rights, Earnings, Space, Professionalism, Expenses, Choices and Time. It’s worth just repeating that last one – your nanny’s finish time is the time they should be walking out the door, not the time you walk in. If you find yourself being persistently late then consider extending your nanny’s hours and paying for that time.
  • Make allowances, because your nanny is a person too, for the occasional late start (whether it’s a public transport mishap or a sleepy alarm clock) or off day. Allowing them to go early on occasion will make them a lot more tolerant of your occasional lateness (be it public transport or a meeting that overruns).  An unscheduled early finish rates pretty highly among the various perks nannies get, by the way! In the same vein appreciate the restrictions your nanny has on their time and let them run personal errands during work hours occasionally.
  • Get them a takeaway when they babysit, and if you have a netflix account or similar encourage them to use it. Or if they prefer to cook for themselves leave a bit of extra cash so they can pick up some special ingredients and have a nice meal.
  • Don’t skimp on sick pay if you can afford it. The odd bug happens to everyone and it’s doubly unfair for a nanny to have an unpaid sick day because they’re throwing up as a result of your little darlings’ generosity with their germs.
  • Let them use the stuff in your house. If you have a Kenwood Chef or a KitchenAid stand mixer and an enthusiastic baker for a nanny who’s planning to make her best friend’s birthday cake with a hand held beater from Tesco then let her use your kitchen one day. If their washing machine breaks down then instead of letting them trek to the launderette put your washing machine temporarily at their disposal. It might bump up your bills a bit but it’ll bump up goodwill even more.
  • Invite your nanny as a guest to significant events for the children like birthdays and christenings, unless you want them to work in which case pay them overtime. Chances are they won’t come but most nannies will appreciate that you think of them as part of the family.
  • Remember them on their birthday and at Christmas (or equivalent major religious festival that you or they celebrate). You don’t need to give an extravagant gift or a month’s salary as a bonus to show your appreciate them and all the work they do. Something small and personal with a voucher for their favourite store will probably go down well. Photographs of your children in expensive frames, while lovely to look at, aren’t a winner unless it’s a leaving gift.
  • Review their performance and their pay once a year. If you can’t afford a pay rise then try and show them you appreciate their work in another way, or give them some extra holiday as a reward for staying with the family. The very least you can do is point out what a great job they’ve done through the year and all the times you’ve noticed and appreciated them going the extra mile. 
  • Recommend them if they want extra babysitting and you know someone who wants a sitter. If your nanny doesn’t want to babysit then point your friend in the direction of our free babysitting section!
  • Finally…. Say thank you. Every day. Without fail.

When it doesn’t work out

Last week we posted about the ‘two week itch’, that point where the reality of your new job (or nanny) sinks in and you start to find things that you’re not happy with. Hopefully these issues can be resolved by communicating openly about your feelings and expectations and you can move forward happily. Unfortunately sometimes the situation doesn’t improve and you’re faced with a choice of bringing the arrangement to an end or persevering but being unhappy.

In a tough market it can be difficult to take the brave decision to give notice. If you’re still in the probationary period the contractual notice may be very short – perhaps one week instead of four, which doesn’t leave much time to find a new job or find a new nanny. You can give more notice that the minimum required but it’s good practice to agree on an end date and stick to that.

Notice should always be given in writing. You don’t need to give your reasons in the letter, but we would strongly recommend having an honest conversation about why you’re choosing to move on. It’s possible that you can still find a way forward, but equally if you just feel that you’re not a good fit for each other then be open about that. Sometimes it can be difficult to put your finger on exactly what’s up but things you can’t measure such as how similar your childcare styles are or how well a nanny has bonded with the children are very important to a good relationship.

Working through the notice period might feel awkard, because in many ways giving notice is personal rejection. Some employers may choose to pay in lieu of notice and it’s not uncommon to feel concern about a nanny’s commitment to the job once notice has been given by either party. Equally nannies might feel that the trust in the relationship has been broken and that can affect their work and allow resentment to build up. It’s still important to remain polite and respectful and work together for the benefit of the children. Maintaining an effective working relationship in dififcult circumstances is a sign of professionalism and maturity.

Some employers will take the notice period into account when writing a reference and some won’t. Some will refuse to provide a reference altogether but that can leave a nanny in a tricky situation. Employers should be prepared to at least provide a written reference confirming dates and duties, and if it was the employer’s choice to give notice and the reasons for terminating the contract are mentioned in a verbal reference they should make sure these were raised with the nanny and the nanny given opportunities to improve. Where the job was obtained through an agency the agency should be able to confirm to any future employer that it’s not a suspicious gap on the nanny’s CV.

If you need to have this difficult conversation then choose a time when the children are occupied and not just as one of you is about to rush out the door. It’s usually better to put it off for day but have the time to talk. Never leave a letter for the other party to find when you’re not around!

Preparing for a new nanny job

 

What information do I need to have?

While it’s good practice for nannies to have certain information in writing there are no obligations, unless your nanny insurance states otherwise. Common requirements there are a signed contract, which proves you are permitted to be in charge of the child, and permission to administer over the counter or prescription medication. Other information should be in their red book, which should at least be stored somewhere you can access it, but do keep a record in your purse of their full names, dates of birth and important medical information just in case something happens when out and about.

Continue reading “Preparing for a new nanny job”

Questions not to ask at interview

Interviewing can be a nerve wracking process and it’s understandable that families want to find out as much about their potential nanny as possible, but there are certain questions which should be avoided in case they lead to direct or indirect discrimination.

In some cases you may have reasons for wanting to know the information and feel that bring direct and open is the best way, but you must phrase your questions carefully so they are supported by a legitimate need and do not leave you open to claims of discrimination.

“Are you married/in a relationship?”

Why it’s bad: Questions about marital status can be seen as discrimatory, or trying to find out about sexual preferences.
Why you might want to know: If you’re hiring a live in nanny you might want to know whether they’re going to move their partner in too, or whether you’ll be waking up to a string of different ‘houseguests’
What you can say: “Would you expect to have guests to stay?”

“Do you have children?”

Why it’s bad: A nanny could claim that you discriminated against them if you didn’t give them the job and gave it to someone who didn’t have children.
Why you might want to know: A whole host of reasons, including whether the nanny is likely to want to bring their children to work regularly or occasionally or whether they have their own children to pick up from childcare, thus reducing their flexibility.
What you can say: “Do you have any obligations at home which may interfere with your attendance or ability to do this job and how do you plan to minimise the impact of those?

“Are you planning to have children soon?”

Why it’s bad: This is definitely discriminatory – although you are trying to reduce the impact of an employee going on maternity or paternity leave it’s illegal to ask this question.
Why you might want to know: A nanny planning to start a family will mean you need to find alternative childcare to cover the leave they are entitled to.
What you can say: Nothing. This is a risk you need to be prepared to take.

“Do you have a disability?”

Why it’s bad: Asking someone whether they have a disability contravenes legislation on equality.
Why you might want to know: Some disabilities may impair a nanny’s ability to do their job.
What you can say: You can focus on whether the applicant is able to do the job e.g. “Are you able to lift and carry my toddler?”. You can also ask whether you need to make reasonable adjustments once a job offer has been made. As an employer it is up to you to decide what is ‘reasonable’ in terms of your requirements. You may not be able to adjust working hours, for example, but you may be able to accommodate time off for treatment on a regular basis. If you are in any doubt we suggest you seek specialist advice.

“How old are you?”

Why it’s bad: Knowing someone’s age could lead to a claim of age discrimination. You must focus on someone’s ability to do the job, whether old or young.
Why you might want to know: Nosiness!
What you can say: Nothing.

“Where do you come from?”

Why it’s bad: Nationality and ethnicity should have no bearing on someone’s suitability as a nanny.
Why you might want to know: If you require your nanny to travel or if you have concerns about their right to work in the UK (which you should verify in any case) you may feel reassured by knowing their nationality. You may also think this is a friendly question inviting the nanny to talk about themselves. In rare cases it may be a genuine occupational requirement that a nanny holds a particular passport.
What you can say: “Are you able to travel within the EU without restrictions/to X with the appropriate visa?” “Can you provide evidence of your right to work in the UK?”

“What religion are you?”

Why it’s bad: This question is grounds for claiming discrimination.
Why you might want to know: If you want your nanny to support your religious practices you might think the simplest way is if they belong to your religion.
What you can say: “We are Jewish/Hindu/Catholic and would like you to respect our traditions and support our children in their religious development. Do you feel comfortable doing that?”

Childcare to go!

Whether it’s action-packed adventure or chilling in the sun, more and more families are taking childcare with them on holiday. Travelling is increasingly part of a permanent nanny’s job or a temporary nanny can provide flexible, consistent, tailor-made childcare for families who just want a helping hand on holiday.*

 

3 things to talk about

– Money : For permanent nannies working normal hours means normal pay. Employers are responsible for paying all out-of-pocket expenses including flights, accommodation, food and travel insurance. If accommodation is limited then remember that nannies who have to share a room with the children usually expect to be paid a bit extra to compensate for the inconvenience, especially if a child still wakes in the night.
– Time off: Any time a nanny is expected to be present counts as work. Great bosses make it clear when nanny is welcome to relax by themselves or go out, and try to keep the children from barging in, just as a nanny would if asked to occupy the children while their bosses relax. Most nannies are happy to swap a morning for an evening babysitting or travel on a Sunday for a chance to shop or sightsee midweek but respect the hours agreed in the contract, even if they aren’t the usual 8am-6pm.
– Travelling time: In general travelling days, where the nanny travels with the family, are paid and as travelling can be lengthy (especially if it involves a 4am start) some overtime might be expected too. If employers happy to book a seat in a separate section of the plane then their nanny could have that time off during the day but chances their assistance will be wanted and they’re still prevented from spending the time as they choose.

 

2 Notes for nannies

– Check your nanny insurance. Most will cover you for travel with your permanent family for a certain number of days per year within the EU but there may be exclusions and this doesn’t replace travel or medical insurance for you!
– Don’t expect it to be a holiday for: it might be sunny, there might be a pool but you are still on duty!

 

1 top tip

– We hope travelling with your nanny or employers will be enjoyable, but if it doesn’t work out then don’t let it ruin a good relationship!

Safer baby sleep

This is a guest posting from The Lullaby Trust. The Lullaby Trust, formerly FSID, promotes expert advice on safer baby sleep and provides specialist support for bereaved families.

Working with a baby or toddler can be an exciting and rewarding experience. However, we know how worrying it can be making the best decisions to keep babies and toddlers as safe as possible.

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is the sudden and unexplained death of a baby where no cause is found. While SIDS is rare, it can still happen and our advice below will ensure that the baby or toddler in your care is sleeping as safely as can be both a night and during the day.

Things you can do when working with a baby:

Always place the baby on their back to sleep

• You should always place the baby on their back to sleep and not on their front or side

• Make sure you and the family you work with are consistent with back sleeping- the chance of SIDS is particularly high for babies who are sometimes placed on their front or side

• Once the baby can roll from back to front and back again, on their own, they can be left to find their own position

Keep the baby smoke free

• Never smoke around the baby or have the baby on contact with smoky skin or clothing.

• Don’t let people smoke near the baby and keep the house, car, and other places the baby spends time, smoke free

Opt for expressed breast milk over formula

• If you have the option, always prioritise breast milk over formula, as this can be protective against the risk of SIDS

Place the baby to sleep in a cot or Moses basket in the same room as you for the first 6 months, even during the day. It’s the safest place.

• The chance of SIDS is lower when babies sleep in the same room as their parents or carers, but do not share the same bed as them

Ensure the baby has a firm, flat, waterproof mattress in a good condition

• You and the baby’s family should avoid using soft or bulky bedding (such as quilts, pillows and duvets) as these increase the chance of SIDS

• Sleep the baby on a firm, flat mattress that is clean and in a good condition. A mattress with a waterproof cover will help you keep it clean and dry

 

Things to avoid when working with a baby:

Never sleep on a sofa or in an armchair with the baby either next to you or on your chest, even during the day

• Sofa sharing with a baby greatly increases the chance of SIDS

Avoid letting the baby get too hot or too cold

• A room temperature of 16-20⁰C, with light bedding or a lightweight well-fitting sleeping bag, is comfortable and safe for sleeping babies

• Check the baby regularly to see if he or she is too hot. Look for sweating or feel the baby’s tummy – their hands and feet will usually be cooler, that’s normal. If the baby is hot, remove one or more layers of bedclothes.

Don’t cover the baby’s face or head while sleeping or use loose bedding

• The use of loose bedding which can cover the baby’s face or head can be dangerous and can increase the chance of SIDS

• To keep the baby safe and their head uncovered while they are sleeping you should:

o Place your baby on their back in the ‘feet to foot’ position – this is where the baby’s feet are placed at the foot of the cot – so they can’t wriggle down under the blankets

o Use blankets which are firmly tucked in, no higher than the baby’s shoulders or baby sleeping bag

For more information and advice, see the Lullaby Trust’s website at www.lullabytrust.org.uk, or phone the information and advice line on 0808 802 6869.

Happy nannying!

Thyme for thinking

© Kuvona | Dreamstime.com

We’re pleased to welcome back Suzannah Thyme for her second post on the Nannyjob blog!

 

If you read my first post you might remember that our nanny has been with us for a year. The time has simply flown by and we count ourselves very lucky that Ellie has put up with us for this long. Having a nanny isn’t quite the same as having any other type of employee, particularly when it comes to managing performance and formal reviews. It tends to be an ongoing process – slightly elongated handovers or a sit down with a cup of tea on the rare days that I do work from home while Ol naps – for us at least and the idea of ‘managing’ Ellie in that way filled me with trepidation.

 

I turned where most people do these days, the internet, for to gather advice and gauge opinions on what was and wasn’t normal. It seemed a mixed bag, some had a very formal process with a self-evaluation form to comment on their performance, others let it slide by with nothing at all, a good number had an informal meeting or formal chat with a bit of warning that the contract would be reviewed. After canvassing Ed for his opinion, which elicited the information that he was going on a 10 day business trip of which I had no prior knowledge, we (read: I) decided on the slightly more formal chat approach.

 

The next challenge was when to schedule it. Evenings aren’t the best time for anyone and mornings tend to be rushed, certainly on my part, so we were evidently going to have to put aside a specific time. In the end it seemed most sensible to ask Ellie for the equivalent of a babysit and explain that we’d chat once Ol was in bed – takeaway and wine included. Luckily she was amenable to this plan, but once again the nagging conscience which insists that she’s entitled to her own life outside of work and this was an intrusion wouldn’t quite go away, as it does every time we ask for a babysit even though she insists she doesn’t mind.

 

Time and place set I turned my mind to the content. What does one discuss in a nanny’s review? Evaluating performance over the past year was easy -“You’re doing a brilliant job, will you stay until Ol leaves home?” was what I essentially wanted to say. There were no foreseeable changes and we didn’t need to modify the contract. Once again I turned to the internet and discovered that nannies typically wanted to discuss holiday and payrises. Ah.

 

Holiday isn’t a problem as far as I know. Bank Holidays off, 2 weeks her choice, which she tends to take a one week and then a few days here and there, 2 weeks ours, except it’s been more over the last year, and the time between Christmas and New Year. We’ve never sorted our holiday out that far in advance, although maybe we should talk about that and pencil in key dates. And dates when holiday wouldn’t work so well for us. But the idea of a payrise strikes fear into my heart.

 

Much as we love Ellie and I would pay her millions if I could we’re stretching our budget already to afford a nanny for one child. It’s a luxury for us and any rise we could afford would be paltry in the extreme on an hourly basis. We gave a bonus at Christmas, which is uncomfortably close to the review given that I’ve not been paid for January yet, but then again it’s not really her fault she started a new job so close to Christmas when I would happily have given a bonus in June. Sitting down with a calculator I worked out we could afford about £75 a month over a year, which doesn’t sound a lot. If anyone has any ideas on extra things I can do to show appreciation I’d be grateful….

Keeping up with the Thymes

Nannyjob is delighted to introduce our new parent blogger -Mrs Thyme – who will be blogging about the ups and downs of employing a nanny and family life.

© Kuvona | Dreamstime.com

Let me start by saying I’ve never actually blogged before. I love and loathe in equal parts the various Mummy blogs that pop up periodically on my Twitter feed – love them because I’m a proper nosy parker, secretly loathe them because they are filled with the kind of perfection I aspire to. So bear with me while I work this out and here goes!

 

The logical place to start seems to be introducing our family, a cosy little group of 3 – Suzannah (that’s me), Edward and Oliver (18 months) – plus 1 –   Ellie, our nanny who has been with us for almost exactly a year. We all work full time, Ol probably hardest of all playing and growing, and are probably all having trouble adjusting after time off over Christmas.

 

It’s times like this, after the holidays, where I feel enormously grateful for having a nanny. Colleagues who drop their children at a child-minder or nursery don’t have the luxury of coming home to a tidy house and an empty laundry basket. I don’t know how she does it but Ellie by herself with Ol is more productive than Ed and I put together tag teaming toddler demands and miscellaneous household tasks like putting a wash on and hanging it out to dry. Add cooking 2 nutritious meals, and fitting in a class or run around at the park and some kind of art, craft or baking. I’m exhausted thinking about it.

 

I’ve tried to see how it’s done when working from home, but I know nannies hate that (parents working from home, not domestic espionage) because you disrupt their routine, no matter how hard you try to limit your caffeine and biscuit consumption so you don’t need to go to the kitchen. Children’s bat like hearing can pick your voice up from the other end of the house if you’re on the phone to a colleague or a client and you can forget about going to the loo. I laugh at people who say working at home is wonderfully relaxing. They either have school-aged children, or better yet no children at all, and sit productively at their computer simultaneously dyeing their hair and waiting for their toenails to dry. I tried it once but the increasingly loud sighs and increasingly lengthy tantrums every time I popped back to the bathroom to complete the next stage of my beautification put me off.

 

A couple of days after the announcement that I’ll be working from home I’ll be treated to an anecdote from Ellie about something a work-from-home boss of a nanny friend of hers has done. It’s a subtle, yet effective, way of letting me know that I shouldn’t even think about committing that particular sin, although some of them are rather funny like the MumBoss who didn’t get dressed until 10am and took very serious conference calls wearing slinky PJs. I thought in the beginning Ellie would be glad to shorten her day by the 3 hours that cover my commute (yes, 3 hours, the District line can be a little challenging) – fully paid of course – and have the opportunity to have a real lunch-break, maybe even schedule a hair appointment because I don’t mind being flexible, but it seems that isn’t the case, so I rarely do. I will commit the sin from time to time just to save myself the commute and prove that I can be productive whilst working from home, building up credit for those vaccinations, birthdays and, way into the future, first days at nursery or school and nativity plays or end of term shows. In a way I understand, it takes a brave person to sing, dance and discipline a toddler under the watchful eye of another adult, and I would hate my own boss breathing down my neck all the time.

 

So today I’m at work, and basking in the knowledge that when I arrive home we’ll have lasagna for dinner tonight and Ol’s washing will be underway and there may even be cake. If I did all that I’d expect Ed to bring me flowers, so I’ll just pencil in a stop on the way home to pick something up for Ellie even though she does it every day and I can’t thank her enough.