Tag: nanny

Emergency planning

If you’re in the UK right now you won’t have been able to escape the weather forescats and the news reports of severe flooding, high winds and power outages, but how many nannies have an emergency plan agreed with the parents in case of disaster?

 

Imagine this:
Your workplace is on a flood plain and you start to notice water coming up through the drains. The river has flooded nearby fields and the road outside has started to flood. You start to worry that if you stay put you won’t be able to get your car out and will be trapped by the water. What do you do?

Or maybe you’ve been out for the day and as you return to your bosses’s house you find that the road is so flooded you can’t get by. Where do you go?

Obviously remaining in your charge’s home, where you employers expect you to be isn’t an option in either of those scenarios, but in the thick of an emergency situation it may be difficult to keep parents informed every step of the way. This is why a pre-agreed emergency plan that both nanny and parents are aware of is so important. Even if you don’t live on a flood plain you never know what might happen!

 

1. Agree a safe place, or two safe places in case one is also affected
If parents return home to find you gone and can’t get in touch with you they will know where to look. This might be your own home, your charge’s grandparents or a nanny friend’s. The idea is that you have somewhere to go away from the disaster, so the next street over probably won’t cut it. Make sure you know several alternative routes to get there too, and take natural obstacles like rivers into account.
 

2. Make a list of what to take with you

When you evacuate a house you need to assume that you won’t be back for a while. Some things, like a change of clothes and any special cuddly toys, you’ll take automatically, but your employer might want you to also take important documents with you too. Ask them if they have a file they would like you to grab on the way out, and if they don’t suggest they put one together.

 

3. Know how to secure the house before you leave

Obviously you and your charges are a priority but knowing how to switch the gas/electricity/water off (especially if it’s a gas leak or a plumbing disaster) could save time later.

 

4. Set an emergency contact

If you can’t check in with your employers for some reason, or they can’t reach you, designate a third party contact. That way if you have to leave your charge’s house and go to your agreed safe place you can leave a message with your employers and another person.

 

5. Have a waterproof emergency kit

Nannies nowadays usually have contact numbers on their mobile phone, and that’s fine until the network gets overloaded or your phone slips out of your pocket into the rising floodwaters. First item in your waterproof kit is laminated contact details for the parents and emergency contact. You should also laminate all your emergency information: your safe place, your ‘to-take’ list and instructions on how to secure the house. You should also have food and water, including baby milk if necessary (you can buy pre-sterilised, pre-made bottles), a first aid kit, and a torch and batteries.

 

It might seem extreme, and we hope you’ll never need to use it, but when it comes to you and your charge’s safety better safe than sorry!

Attachment childcare

Most people have heard of attachment parenting, if only in sensationalised form, also known as the Sears method. The idea is that an infant is kept as close its mother, or other caregiver, as possible by breastfeeding, using a sling, bed-sharing, responding sensitively to cries and, as the child grows, ensuring that any separation is child led as far as possible. It must be said that many parents follow some of these principles without defining themselves as attachment parents but when parents openly say they follow attachment parenting some childcarers start to panic.

 

There is no need to worry. Although the label might sound off-putting, by entering into a dialogue with parents about how they practice attachment parenting will help you understand and accommodate their child’s needs.

 

1. Breastfeeding

This is obviously a logistical problem when any breastfeeding mother goes back to work. Make sure you and your setting are supportive of continued breastfeeding; know the value of expressed breast milk and how to handle it, talk to the mother about feeding times and whether she would prefer you to feed the baby just before collection or her to feed on arrival/at home to fit in with her pumping schedule, and try attachment bottle feeding.

 

2. Using a sling

If a baby is accustomed to being held and soothed by their caregiver it’s very important to continue this in some way during the transition to childcare and the easiest way to do this is to use a sling. Slings are a very individual decision but try asking the parents for their input if you don’t have one of your own that fits you comfortably.

 

3. Bed-sharing

This is often the trickiest adjustment. It isn’t advised for anyone but breastfeeding mothers to bedshare with their infants so as a childcarer, potentially caring for other children at the same time, it’s not practical. Make the sleeping area as familiar as possible. Consider asking the parents to provide a pillowcase and blanket that they have slept with to provide a familiar smell and commit to stroking or patting the  baby to replace the comforting contact of their mother’s body or suggest naps in the sling. Above all don’t judge the parents for continuing to bedshare at home – it’s valuable time for them to reconnect and may allow the mother to rest while breastfeeding a baby who refuses milk during the day.

 

4. Responding to cries

One of the key principles of attachment parenting is a belief that cries are genuine attempts to communicate and should not be ignored. As any attachment parent of two or more will tell you this doesn’t mean running at the first whimper if you have another child to attend to, but
it does mean responding and trying to figure out what is wrong rather than leaving a baby to cry it out, or seeing whether he will settle after a few minutes crying by himself.

 

5. Child-led separation

Attachment parents may request a longer settling in period to gradually accustom their child to you and your setting. Use this time to observe and learn how the parents and child interact so you can provide consistency. It doesn’t mean that they don’t trust you or are hanging around to be difficult!

Smart socialising for nannies

One of the biggest concerns for nannies and parents alike is that nannying can be isolating for both nanny and child. Social contact is important for all human beings and as well as giving children the opportunity to play with others, going to groups and setting up playdates also gives nannies the opportunity to model social skills and how to form healthy relationships. But if you’re new to having a nanny or new to an area, how do you get started?

 

Have clear expectations

Whether you’re a parent or a nanny the interview process is the time to test out the other party’s take on socialising. It’s a question that might throw first-time employers but it can be helpful to remember that nannies don’t have coworkers and benefit from some kind of adult contact during the day so although it might feel like they’re asking to have their friends over to drink your coffee that’s not really the case, they just happen to have a network of ‘colleagues’ that they can take from job to job. There are no hard and fast rules , the most important thing is that both sides are happy with what is agreed.

 

Nannies don’t just have to see nannies

Sometimes new nannies can get hung up on only soicalising with other nannies and miss out on all the other social possibilities out there. While it can be great to meet up with someone who understands where you’re coming from, parents and childminders at groups with similar aged children can also enrich your social circle and at the end of the day playdates should be for children.

 

Be pro-active

Although there is a lot to get to grips with when you start a new job, be pro-active about finding social opportunities. Posting on the Nannyjob Meet Other Nannies messageboard or joining our social club for nannies can help you find nannies working near you and the Places to Go section will help you find activities in your area. Searching for groups and

 

Different social circles or friends in common?

This is probably one of the trickiest social situations to navigate. Are you happy to meet up with your boss’s NCT group and are they comfortable with that? Would you prefer that your nanny only meets up with people you know during work hours? What about playdates for school aged children? What about nannies who only work part-time? Again there are no hard and fast rules but communication is key to finding something that works for both of you!

Christmas presents for childcarers

Want to show your childcarer(s) how much you appreciate them but stuck for ideas? About to nip to Tesco to stock up on tins of Roses or bottles of vino? Hold on just a second and read our handy guide to buying something special for those other special people in your child’s life.

The task of buying for nursery staff can be daunting. Most parents opt for a a special something for their child’s keyworker and a joint gift for the staff in the room – a hamper with teas, herbal teas and coffees or some nice handwash and hand cream. They’re probably overflowing with chocolates and wine so think outside the box a little. Individual pamper hampers are a nice personal gift if you don’t have too many people to buy for or  individual cards with a voucher or gift card for an appropriate store will be appreciated too.

‘I didn’t know what to get the staff at nursery so I bought a plant for the staffroom and decorated it with cards and an ornament for each of them to take home’.

 

You’ll probably know a childminder or nanny better and be able to find something to their taste – a good book, tickets to a show or a gadget you know they’ll love. Unless you know that they love a particular type of chocolate or are partial to a nice G&T of an evening, try to avoid chocolate or alcohol based gifts. Equally a photo of your children, while very sweet, is unlikely to make them light up. They love them very much but chances are they have plenty of photos already. Cash always goes down well but it can feel awkward trying to decide an amount if it’s their only present- 1 week’s salary is a good guide for a nanny.

‘I gave my nanny a KitchenAid , which was less than a week’s salary but far more appreciated, and  a lift home so she didn’t need to take it on the tube!’

 

It can be more difficult giving cash to childminders, and if you’re strapped for cash a week is a lot of money, but if you do then make it clear it’s for them to spend on themselves. Sometimes the best gifts combine the practical with the personal – a case for an iPad or a smart hat and gloves set if you notice theirs are looking a big tatty. A token gift that you’ve put a lot of thought into is worth far more than an envelope stuffed with banknotes.

‘Our childminder is a big tea drinker but I know she restricts her cuppas to when my active 2 year old can’t charge into her and knock them over. I got her a spill proof insulated mug which came in handy when he dropped his nap.’

 

For a casual babysitter an extra bit of cash is probably most appreciated, tucked inside a nice card. If you prefer to give a present rather than slip an extra tenner their way then think about their interests or what they’ll find useful- if they’re a student then funky notebooks or pens for use in lectures may brighten up their day.

‘My babysitter is a retired lady who lives a few doors down and has a beautiful garden. We got her a new pair of gardening gloves and some handcream so she can keep up the good work.’

 

If a carer has their own children with them at work you might want to buy a token gift for them as well. This doesn’t need to be expensive but will be very well received by the children and the thought and effort will be appreciated by your carer too.

Whether you give a significant gift or not,  put the effort into making a card with your children – the glitterier and messier the better – and send a card from yourself as well with a note saying how much you appreciate them! That’s a gift that keeps on giving.

The nanny diary: Day 5

This post brings us to the end of our series following a nanny and a mother through the first week of a new job. If you missed the first posts you can find them here: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4. And if you’re interested in writing a guest post or a nanny diary of your own then get in touch!

Nanny:

I felt really nervous all day with the chat looming in the evening.

I had questions of my own:

Do you still want me as your nanny?

Is there anything I did this week you would prefer I did differently? Is there anything I didn’t do?

I’m glad to say they still want me! And no major changes to be made! Which is a huge weight off my mind because nannying is such a personal job that when it doesn’t work out you feel like someone has broken up with you. Three more weeks of the probationary period to go still but a good start. It turns out it wasn’t anything bad at all, she just wanted time to think about real solutions to the stuff I’d raised throughout the week and I get the feeling that’s more her style than giving a quick yes or no answer, which I’m glad I discovered now before I need to ask something really important. Plus we’re probably getting a double pushchair and I’ve got a budget and free reign to choose two to show MB which I think is a really good sign, because if they didn’t want me to stay they wouldn’t be prepared to spend money on something they don’t really want, right?

Overall today was better than yesterday. No tantrums at least and I was super-efficient at getting all the jobs done.  I’m speeding up on the school run and probably getting fitter as a result and learning just how much leeway there is in the routine. It’s amazing how fast things become second nature, although I still need to check the schedule every morning before we start to make sure both boys have what they need for the morning even if I’ve put it ready the evening before.

I checked the calendar for the next month as well to give myself a heads up on anything important and it’s charge number 3’s birthday in two weeks, which brings a whole new load of challenges, not least how her siblings are going to be able to make her a card without her finding out! I’m really enjoying having such a busy job again. It’s a totally different kind of challenge.

Mother:

It’s Friday! And I don’t have piles of laundry! And the bedrooms are clean and tidy! I’m never letting this woman leave. That’s all!

The nanny diary: Day 2

 

If you want to catch up on the happenings of Day 1 of our real life nanny diary which follows a nanny and a mother in the first week of a job just click here

 

 

Nanny:

My legs were killing me this morning and we had even more walking today because there’s a baby class in the centre of town. The upside is I got promised Starbucks and told to make it a weekly thing because there isn’t time to go home in between the school run and class and nowhere to hang out in the middle. Yay!

We went to music class together and then MB left to meet a friend for lunch so I had to walk to nursery, only just making it in time for pick up, and number 3 came along quite happily which was a really good sign. I was a bit worried she would kick off that it was me picking her up but it was fine and she was super well behaved on the way home. I guess because MB doesn’t drive they’re all used to walking and have good road safety sense, or at least as good as a 2 year old can have. She walked part of the time and asked to go on the buggy board when she was tired which I found a bit difficult to push. I might ask MB about getting a cheap double buggy because I think my arms are too short!

I think one job for Monday afternoon is going to be preparing something for Tuesday lunch because time is really tight and we were a bit late today which pushed nap time back and the school run was a rush yesterday. Thankfully they didn’t sleep as long today and when I asked MB she said they often had a long nap Monday afternoon which I’m glad I found out now! I managed a load of laundry and transferred it to the dryer, and prepped dinner and even had a sit down to rest my aching legs before this evening’s charging around. Tuesday is normally going to be an early finish because as long as MB is back I can take the boys to Beavers and go home but today MB just wants me to check back in.

We had a good chat about playdates on the way home. When I asked about them at interview she said she was really happy that it will be possible and she wants me to feel free to arrange things for the children or have people over and then she refused to let the eldest go between school and Beavers tonight but I’m glad we had time together for her to explain where she’s coming from, and it makes sense. Plus it makes my life easier if I can just leave when MB comes home without having to do an activity run!

I really need a hot bath but we don’t have a bathtub so a long, hot shower in going to have to do and an early night. I think I’ll be able to cancel my gym membership at this rate.

Mother:

Today was, I think, a pretty good test day. I hung back a bit in the morning and even managed to put make up on before the school run. We had a quick chat about yesterday when getting coffee in between school and rhyme time and there didn’t seem anything majorly wrong. I managed grown up lunch out with a friend and met up at the school gate just in time to explain the rules on impromptu playdates. We had an activity this evening so it’s fine if it’s planned in advance and they have everything they need in the morning and they can go with a friend but otherwise only on free evenings. I’ve spent 6 months enforcing this rule after we went a bit playdate silly and I really don’t want it broken now.

The first benefit of having a nanny has become clear! Dinner is all prepared and just needs to be reheated and the shepherd’s pie was huge enough for all the family. I asked if it was okay if we ate some too and she seemed a bit embarrassed but said we could. I don’t know what she was embarrassed about because it was great.

The nanny diary: Day 1

This week we’re doing something a little different. A real life series of 5 posts detailing the first 5 days from a nanny and a mother’s perspective!

 

 

Nanny:

My alarm went of at 6.15am this morning and I practically sprinted out of bed into the shower. I needed to be at my new job for 7.30 and I really didn’t want to be late. It turns out that there is very little traffic so I ended up being 20 minutes early and parked my car around the corner and waited. I rang the doorbell 5 minutes early, which felt a little odd knowing that in a couple of hours I’d have keys and probably wouldn’t be ringing the bell every morning!

Everyone was having breakfast when I walked in and MB offered me some toast, but I ate breakfast before I left. It’s good to know I can have breakfast at work. 5 minutes more sleep! Then it was all systems go brushing teeth, putting on coats and shoes and getting out the door to go to school. There are 4 children, 2 at school, 1 doing half days at nursery and 1 at home full time, so there’s a lot to get ready and we’re going to be walking everywhere. Thankfully I have 2 days with MB at home to get all the local routes and shortcuts in my head. MB explains the rules and I’m glad we seem on the same page.

After an hour out and about we’re at home and baby is napping in the pram so we have a cuppa and run through a typical week, MB shows me how all the appliances work and shares her routine for getting the housework that I’ll be taking on done although she says I don’t have to stick to it, and once baby woke up she made a start preparing lunch while I fed baby and played a little game of peekaboo. Soon it was time to head out to nursery and fetch charge number 3. We all ate lunch together and I managed to get spaghetti sauce down my top. Ooops.

This afternoon was my first time alone with the younger two, which they spend napping, and I decided to make a treasure basket as they don’t seem to have one. They woke up just before needed to go to the school run so it was a bit of a rush to prepare a bottle and get ready and leave. I’m not used to leaving this much time for walking so I’m going to have to make a note to watch that especially this week.

After-school was a blur of taking number 1 to a violin lesson, taking number 2 to karate (is there anything cuter than a bunch of 5 year olds doing karate?), picking up number 1, picking up number 2, eating tea, doing homework/reading and getting everyone ready for bed. I feel exhausted and I have no idea how MB has been doing this on her own. Most nights she says she’ll be home by 5 so we’ll sort out the last hour and a half between us but if she has a late meeting I can see myself running in circles.

 

Mother:

Last night I was writing down everything I need to talk about and I didn’t realise how much I do until I was trying to consciously explain while doing it. I’m sure there are things I’ve forgotten to talk about today. I’ve also realised I’m not looking forward to the end of maternity leave and I’m feeling a bit funny about having a nanny because we’ve always used nursery or a childminder but fingers crossed it will make life that much easier.

First day seems to have gone okay. I’m desperately trying not to step in and let her find her own way of doing things. I’m also trying to feel my way through the etiquette of having a nanny. Should she be eating breakfast with the children in the morning? Will she eat dinner with them in the evening? Do I need to justify every parenting move I’ve made or is it all common sense?

I’m reassured that she took the pace of the day in her stride – it’s all go to get to nursery at 8.30, school at 8.45, nursery at 11.30, lunch and naps, school at 3.30 and anything after-school so having someone who can keep to time and get where they need is so important. Tomorrow is the day for letting go!

How to keep your nanny – 10 ways

A while ago we posted a tongue in cheek post ‘How to lose your nanny in 10 days‘. Hopefully you’ve avoided making most of these mistakes and have a happy, settled relationship with your nanny. As the festive season looms (to be followed by that horrid January slump) we thought now might be a good time to look at ways you can keep your nanny happy.

  • Remember that one-off gestures are all well and good but the best way to keep your relationship (be it with your nanny or anyone else in fact) is constantly paying attention to the little things. Respecting your nanny will go a long way to ensuring their happiness and if you don’t have time to click on the link RESPECT stands for Rights, Earnings, Space, Professionalism, Expenses, Choices and Time. It’s worth just repeating that last one – your nanny’s finish time is the time they should be walking out the door, not the time you walk in. If you find yourself being persistently late then consider extending your nanny’s hours and paying for that time.
  • Make allowances, because your nanny is a person too, for the occasional late start (whether it’s a public transport mishap or a sleepy alarm clock) or off day. Allowing them to go early on occasion will make them a lot more tolerant of your occasional lateness (be it public transport or a meeting that overruns).  An unscheduled early finish rates pretty highly among the various perks nannies get, by the way! In the same vein appreciate the restrictions your nanny has on their time and let them run personal errands during work hours occasionally.
  • Get them a takeaway when they babysit, and if you have a netflix account or similar encourage them to use it. Or if they prefer to cook for themselves leave a bit of extra cash so they can pick up some special ingredients and have a nice meal.
  • Don’t skimp on sick pay if you can afford it. The odd bug happens to everyone and it’s doubly unfair for a nanny to have an unpaid sick day because they’re throwing up as a result of your little darlings’ generosity with their germs.
  • Let them use the stuff in your house. If you have a Kenwood Chef or a KitchenAid stand mixer and an enthusiastic baker for a nanny who’s planning to make her best friend’s birthday cake with a hand held beater from Tesco then let her use your kitchen one day. If their washing machine breaks down then instead of letting them trek to the launderette put your washing machine temporarily at their disposal. It might bump up your bills a bit but it’ll bump up goodwill even more.
  • Invite your nanny as a guest to significant events for the children like birthdays and christenings, unless you want them to work in which case pay them overtime. Chances are they won’t come but most nannies will appreciate that you think of them as part of the family.
  • Remember them on their birthday and at Christmas (or equivalent major religious festival that you or they celebrate). You don’t need to give an extravagant gift or a month’s salary as a bonus to show your appreciate them and all the work they do. Something small and personal with a voucher for their favourite store will probably go down well. Photographs of your children in expensive frames, while lovely to look at, aren’t a winner unless it’s a leaving gift.
  • Review their performance and their pay once a year. If you can’t afford a pay rise then try and show them you appreciate their work in another way, or give them some extra holiday as a reward for staying with the family. The very least you can do is point out what a great job they’ve done through the year and all the times you’ve noticed and appreciated them going the extra mile. 
  • Recommend them if they want extra babysitting and you know someone who wants a sitter. If your nanny doesn’t want to babysit then point your friend in the direction of our free babysitting section!
  • Finally…. Say thank you. Every day. Without fail.

Parent v Nanny

Today we’ve got a special guest blog from Tanya, talking about her transition from being a nanny to motherhood.

 

I qualified as a nursery nurse over 15 years ago. Since then I have worked with children of all ages from 3 months up to 12 years both in educational settings and as a Nanny.

In October 2009 I found out I was expecting our first child. At that time I had been with my current family for 4 years, caring for 2 children.

I felt pretty well equipped for once baby came home etc. but was fairly nervous about the actual delivery! Fear of the unknown I suppose.

I was lucky enough to be given ante-natal classes as a gift from my employers. My husband and I were keen to meet people at the same stage as we were and learn a bit more about the imminent delivery! The people we met at class gave us a great support network for once baby arrived. The classes also provided good information about the weeks ahead and of course the all important delivery!

Lily arrived a week early. An easy pregnancy ended with a slightly less easy delivery. Once she did arrive emotions were definitely altered forever.

The obvious main difference in being a parent is ultimately your decision is final, which sometimes feels very daunting.

In my role as a nanny I work with parents and discuss ideas to improve or manage various situations or scenarios. I’m not the type of nanny who expects the parents to do everything my way but work more as a team to get better results.

As a parent you are more aware of making decisions and how this will affect your lives. I think having a newborn and the tiredness and emotions that go along with this made it much harder to work through phases.

As a nanny I also had fairly fixed ideas of how I was going to ‘manage’ my new baby. Due to various reasons this didn’t happen and I did feel under extra pressure to do the ‘right’ thing. Ultimately the ‘right’ thing is that you feel comfortable in your daily decisions and that you and baby are happy and settled.

Outside pressure also affected me a lot. I was lucky to have lots of friends who work in childcare or who have their own children (or both!). Obviously everyone likes to help and support a friend and advice was always welcome. However they all had their own words of wisdom. At the time I felt I should take every point if view on board rather than do what was best for us as a family.

Having a ‘difficult’ baby isn’t easy and even my years of training didn’t prepare me for the constant demands of being a mummy. Of course I would never change being a mummy but there is definitely something to be said for clocking on and off as a nanny!

As Lily has got older she has become a very lively, funny and inquisitive girl. She likes to push boundaries and has a very strong sense of being her own person. Of course as a nanny working through the terrible twos and potty training is just part of the job. As a parent it’s non stop – no finishing at 6pm, having to be on top of a situation 100% of the time and multitasking household chores. You forget as a nanny you are there just for the children and that’s what you are paid to do so anything extra gets put to one side.

As a working mum, I still nanny part time with Lily coming along too. Time can seem limited but we try to do things together everyday and Lily gets to do a variety of activities. Consistency is key and we try hard to keep the rules the same regardless of if we are at home, at work, or just out and about. She’s not perfect but she’s 3 and spirited.

For me being a mum is a much harder job than being a nanny but I’m sure this isn’t the case for everyone!

 

Nanny contracts

If you’ve recently employed a nanny you should have signed a contract with them before handing over your children and the house keys, but you do have 2 months from the date your nanny starts work to provide your nanny with a written statement of employment so if you haven’t already then it’s not too late. You can find out more about the why and how of nanny contracts here and Nannyjob also provides 2 model contracts for you to download and use if you wish, and we’ve put together some additional pointers.

Agree a gross wage

As an employer you are responsible for deducting tax and National Insurance, leaving your nanny with their net pay. It’s important to put a gross wage in the contract so your nanny’s personal tax arrangements don’t result in overly-complex calculations each payment period.

 

Be precise about holiday

Each employee is entitled to 5.6 weeks holiday per year, which is 28 days for a full time worker and pro rata-ed down for a part-time worker. This includes any Bank Holidays, which means a full time worker will get 4 weeks plus 8 Bank Holidays. For part time workers the picture is more complex. A nanny who works Monday and Tuesday is entitled to 11.2 days (you can round up but not down) and will have 4 Bank Holidays on working days in 2014, leaving 7.2 days rather than 8 (which would be 4 working weeks) to choose. A nanny working Tuesday and Wednesday has only 1 Bank Holiday on working days in 2014, leaving 10.2 days of holiday. Allocating 4 working weeks or 8 days, would give less that the statutory minimum.

If your nanny works variable hours you might be better using an accrual method so both of you are clear in the contract how holiday will be worked out fairly.

 

Agree a list of duties

A written contract is the best reference for what duties have been agreed in case of any disputes further down the line. It’s also a useful tool for assessing and appraising performance, and if problems arise it gives clear indications of what can be considered poor performance for disciplinary purposes.

 

Define gross misconduct

In rare situations you may want to dismiss your nanny instantly without notice but there needs to be a provision in the contract for this. Common grounds for summary dismissal as a result of gross misconduct are child abuse, theft, using alcohol or illegal drugs whilst on duty and being found guilty of a serious criminal offence. Remember that if you dismiss your nanny for harming a child you have a responsibility to report that to the DBS.