nanny – Page 8 – Nannyjob blog

When nanny gets married

One of our lovely nannies recently got married and she has kindly passed on some hints and tips to any nannies or employers in a similar situation.

Right from the start my employers were thrilled for me and very supportive. They bought me a lovely congratulations card and invited my fiancé over one evening for champagne. In case that sounds strange they’ve known him as long as I’ve been working for them and they’re happy for him to come over in the evening if I’m babysitting because he’s my lift home. My nanny family really do feel like another part of my family so them being happy for me was a big deal.

I waited to check with them before setting the date. We wanted to get married in June 2022 which was 15 months away at the time of our engagement and we wanted to go on a 2-week honeymoon. I also wanted a couple of days before the wedding which meant 2 and a half weeks off in term time – not the most convenient thing for my bosses. I offered to take it as unpaid holiday so they could afford a temp nanny, and so I could keep my holiday allowance for the year, but they said it would be my main wedding present to have it as paid leave and they would manage. I know this was a massive deal for them and it made a big difference. I think if they’d been difficult about the date, it would have made me feel like getting married was an inconvenience.

They stayed interested, particularly the girls I look after, the whole time and although I know I was probably a very enthusiastic bride they never once made me feel like I was boring them. In fact, they were understanding to the point of my dad boss listening to me weep about table plans one Monday in the run up. Obviously, I didn’t let wedding planning take over my life, and it stayed out of work hours most of the time, but employers who show an interest in the biggest thing that’s going on in your life are appreciated.

Next, I had the dilemma of whether I invited them to the wedding or not, even more complicated because the children were desperate to be attendants. I didn’t want my charges as bridesmaids, but I did want them to share part of my special day, so I invited them to the church service and the evening on the condition that they had a big nap in the afternoon. That way they missed all the embarrassing bits about me in the speeches! I also bought them special matching outfits that fitted with my colour scheme but weren’t the same as my adult bridesmaids and gave them special jobs to do like distributing the confetti after the service. I could focus on the ceremony without being a nanny to my charges (because we never really stop) and they felt part of it – win-win!

I also had a special picture of us taken on the day, and it will definitely be going in the album.

After so much excitement and a wonderful honeymoon I felt a bit deflated coming back to work, but they made a special banner to say, ‘welcome back Mrs xxxxx’ and that made me smile all day.

How to Combat the Post-School Meltdown

How many times have you picked your little one up from school, watched them wave goodbye to their teachers and friends with happy, smiling faces, only to turn to you with furrowed brows, crossed arms and a sullen temper?

If this is you, you’re not alone.

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Reasonable duties for a nanny with nursery or school-aged charges

“What are reasonable duties for a nanny when children are nursery/school?” This is a question which comes up quite a lot, and as some nannies will be finding themselves with some free time as of this week, we thought we’d look.

Looking after other children

If there are younger children in the family, it’s a no brainer. A nanny’s wages won’t go down because they only have 1 child during these hours, and they’re still on call for any illness or closures, plus school holidays. If there aren’t younger children it’s possible to set up a nanny share, and this kind of arrangement can work well – Family A get to keep their nanny and reduce their costs, Family B get some solo time and reduced costs too. Bear in mind that any such arrangement needs to be formalised, and a nanny should never be offered as a free babysitter to another family without checking first.

Nursery duties

Most nannies will do nursery duties anyway, but usually while children nap. As a child going to nursery won’t be napping any longer (although some do) and a child at school won’t, so a nanny can use child-free hours to do laundry, ironing, batch-cooking (especially useful for school holidays), cleaning children’s bedrooms and bathrooms and so on.

PA duties

One big advantage of nanny is having someone at home to receive urgent parcels and let in workmen. With a little negotiation a nanny may take on some PA duties for the whole family, such as shopping for birthday presents and other specific items (or doing research online), ordering and receiving a weekly internet shop, dropping off dry cleaning, going to the Post Office and a hundred and one organisational duties around the house.

Light housekeeping duties

Nannies go into childcare to look after children, rather than clean, but adding a little light housekeeping such as hoovering, family cooking or family ironing. Most won’t clean parent’s bedrooms or bathrooms or do family laundry (especially if it involves underwear). For that you would need to find a nanny-housekeeper.

The 2 week itch

When you start a job everything seems great. Your charges are great. Your bosses are great. The area is great. The new routine is great.

Then reality hits, and at the end of the second week you wonder whether you really made the right choice after all. Are these hours as convenient as they seem? Is their behaviour getting worse? Are your bosses really pleased with what you’ve been doing? Maybe they’re re-evaluating their decision, just like you’re re-evaluating yours? Maybe this job is doomed? Is it worth the money to be unhappy? Are you even really unhappy?

When you start a job everything seems great. Your charges are great. Your bosses are great. The area is great. The new routine is great.

Recognise this feeling for what it is and you’ll feel better. It’s a natural instinct to take stock once the initial excitement of a new job has worn off, especially if your previous job was a good fit and you felt very comfortable. Building up trust with a new family is a relatively slow process and things won’t feel the same for a while. It’s a good idea to persevere until the end of the probationary period so you know you’ve given it a good shot, and things will probably improve past the 2 week point anyway.

Addressing any niggles you have at this stage is vital to prevent potentially difficult situations from escalating. Hearing positive feedback will boost your self-esteem and your employers will be reassured that you’re making an effort to fit in with their needs and wants rather than powering ahead with the way you’ve always done things. It also gives your bosses a safe space to raise anything they aren’t happy about. Everyone makes mistakes and it’s almost inevitable that you’ll have done something differently to how they would do it but rather than letting it build up you should clear the air and find out what they want you to do in future, or explain why you’ve chosen to do something differently.

Isolation can be a big factor if you’ve just moved to a new area or your nanny friends have charges of a different age. Be proactive about going out and finding new friends or tapping into contacts your bosses have already made, and don’t lose touch with your old friends. Nannies need peer support just as much as anyone else and your previous nanny network can help you through a tough time even if you don’t see them as often as you used to. If you’re new to nannying then try to buddy up with an experienced nanny to mentor you through the transition.

Give yourself positive things to look forward to over the next week at work and out of work too – introduce your charges to your favourite activities or plan a fun outing and treat yourself to something midweek as a little pick-me-up. The more positive memories and feelings you have about a new job, the more relaxed and confident you’ll feel, and everyone will pick up on it.

If nothing seems to be working give yourself a timeframe where you’ll give it your best, and if you don’t feel any different make the decision to move on. There’s no shame in accepting that you and the family aren’t a good match and you’ll soon find a job that’s perfect for you.

What gets you a nanny job?

We’ve talked before about the importance of a good profile in winning you work as a nanny, but a CV – and your experience and qualifications – will only get you as far as the interview.

Imagine opening a mystery box of chocolates. You have preferences – for example you prefer milk chocolate and don’t like nuts – and you can make decisions about what you see on the outside. That’s what your CV is for, to help the family pick out the milk chocolates and discard the nuts. Other things you can only tell by biting into the chocolate and discovering the hidden nuts inside. Sometimes a really tasty-looking chocolate can be disappointing, and sometimes a chocolate that seems plain on the outside can have a surprising centre.

Once you actually meet the parents, what is it that will land you the job?

Remember that the interview is first and foremost a chance for you and the family to interact, so don’t sit there passively! Taking an active part in the discussion and asking well- timed questions will show that you’re interested in hearing about them and their expectations as well as being prepared to answer questions about your experience and approach to childcare. Respond to the family’s cues and where they ask you what you would do in certain situations you should answer the question and then reflect it back to them to find out what their preferences are.

Let your enthusiasm for your job, and children, shine through. A happy, animated nanny who is able to describe what they do on a day to day basis is much more likeable than a coldly, professional nanny who gives textbook answers. Also show enthusiasm for the children if they are there. Try to get to know your future charges by smiling, waving and asking them questions, getting down on their level and responding to any overtures they make such as bringing you a favourite toy.

You probably have a list of questions in your head (or on paper!) that you want answered and chances are some of these will be covered before they ask whether you have any questions at the end of the interview. Pay attention to what the family say all the way through so unless you’ve genuinely forgotten the answer (in which case you should apologise and just ask them for clarification) you don’t ask for information you’ve already been given.

Also make sure your questions don’t focus solely on hours, pay and holidays, although that is obviously very important ground to cover. Ask about the children’s favourite activities, how the parents like to communicate during the day and what their priorities are as a family. Taking an interest in them as people will also help you decide whether you feel able to work with them.

The main objective of an interview is to establish a good relationship between you and the family, so you both leave with the impression that you could work well together.

How Nannies Can Help Home Schooling Families

With a number of positive factors including flexibility, term-time holidays, child-led learning and learning at the child’s pace, instead of the pace of the class, home education (home schooling in the US) has seen a huge rise in popularity and it’s not surprising that nannies have been stepping in to help.

Think about it, a nanny who helps a home educating family isn’t a far cry from a governess. Back in the day, governesses were hired to educate and care for the family’s children which allowed parents to focus on work and other pursuits.

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How Nannies Can Help with Back to School

Back to school is often a nightmarish time for working parents. At a time of year where colds, illness, and head lice are rife, not to mention tantrums and an unwillingness to go back to school, it’s a time where your nanny can make the difference between a bad day and a great day.

We’ve put together our top tips for both nannies and parents to help with the back-to-school transition.

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Post-holiday light blues

You’ve had two glorious, sun-soaked, weeks, lying in bed until 11am if you want, walking at your own pace, negotiating stairs without a pushchair, eating leisurely meals without having to give anyone else a taste, wearing clothes that would stain if even near playdough and going to the loo in peace…. and now you must go back to work.

You’ve missed the little munchkins. You’ve found yourself singing ‘baa baa black sheep’ as you walk along, you can’t stand still (instead you bob and sway which is perfectly natural with a baby in your arms but makes you look a bit odd without one) and you’re constantly pointing out cows, birds and boats to your slightly bemused family and friends. But still it’s been holiday….and now you must go back to work.

Your charges have also been on holiday. They’ve missed their nanny, but they’ve had the undivided attention of their parents, and grandparents too, with late nights and as much TV and ice cream as they want. It’s a shock to the system all round, compounded by the fact that you are supposed to be Nanny Sunshine while your bosses grouch off on their commute (or skip merrily out the door, pleased to be back in the office).

You unilaterally decide it’s going to be a bit of a lazy day, a slow breakfast, a trip to the park in the morning, a quick to prepare lunch (check the fridge in case there isn’t any food, revise plans for trip to the park and Tesco in the morning), make some cakes for tea and some holiday inspired artwork in afternoon. A quick smile as you compare your plans for the day with the equivalent that’s waiting for your boss, and most of your friends. You have no inbox full of urgent emails, just a full laundry basket, and no great crisis to deal with apart from the nap and/or potty-training regressions, but you’ll have them sorted in no time. You also get cake later.

Together you make exciting plans: swimming, seeing friends, measuring how tall the sunflowers have grown. You notice all the things they’ve learnt to do over the past fortnight, their new words, how tall they’ve grown. They tell you about their holiday, you tell them edited highlights of yours. They ask if they can come with you next year, you laugh. You go and swing, slide and scrabble in the sand. Somehow building a sandcastle is more satisfying in the park with children than it is on a beach without.

You chuck in a load of laundry when you get home and prepare bizarre sandwich fillings that seem more logical to you than some of the food you’ve tasted over the last couple of weeks. You wonder what the 3-year-old would have thought about the chicken and banana curry sandwich you tried and consider finding a recipe just to see, only to conclude you didn’t like it that much. After lunch it’s nap time, but you call it a siesta in an exaggerated Spanish accent to prolong the holiday mood and say you’ll make ‘sangria’ for their snack. Laundry out, laundry in, make list of jobs to do over the next week, look up new activities starting in September, put dinner on, finally succeed in drinking an entire cup of coffee.

The afternoon passes messily: flour, sugar, icing sugar, paint. Tidying up is a shock to the system but a quick bit of improv turns it into a game. You have a quick internal debate about the order of bath and dinner but as dinner involves tomato sauce you decide it’s better to do a quick wipe now and have a slightly sticky dinner than risk having to do bath twice.

You know why you’re lucky to be back at work at the end of the day, when your boss arrives grimy and tired to clean and happy children (and two leftover portions of spag bol because you were feeling generous) and your charges hug you goodbye, frantically reminding you that you promised they could go swimming tomorrow.

You have the best job in the world. You’re a nanny.

Why You Should Visit Your Local Library This Summer

The summer holidays can be stressful for parents and nannies alike. Trying to find new and exciting activities to keep the kids entertained every day is no easy feat. When you consider the many rainy days experienced in the average British summertime, you might find that you and your children are going a little stir crazy.

Over the summer holidays, libraries all around the country will be pulling out all the stops kids entertained by putting on various activities including hosting character visits and read-a-longs to craft or computer sessions, and much more.

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Perfect Summer Holiday Activities for Children

British summertime is often unpredictable when it comes to the weather. It’s not unheard of to experience rain, sun, wind and even snow all in the same day. That’s why we’ve put together our top summer holiday activities for kids that you can do, no matter the weather.

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