What’s the difference between a nanny and an au pair? It’s a question we hear from a lot of parents looking for childcare.
Nannies and au pairs are both extremely different and it’s important that you understand the differences and exactly what you’re looking for from a childcare provider, before you make any decisions. Which is why we’ve put together this article to help you.
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Do you give your nanny a Christmas bonus?
A Christmas bonus is a great way to show your nanny how grateful you are for all that they’ve done over the past year.
Your nanny takes a lot off your plate by helping with homework, nap times, meal times, school runs and so much more. So, how do you show your appreciation?
Many families aren’t clear on why Christmas bonuses are important, or how to go about giving one. That’s why we’ve put together answers to the most common questions about giving a Christmas bonus.
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Observe
Obviously we’re always watching children but simply watching is very different to keenly observing with an objective in mind. If you’re notice a pattern of negative behaviour make a special effort to observe and find the triggers. Sometimes the incidents seem random but there may be a bigger pattern behind it – common causes are unexpected tiredness, over-stimulation, teeth coming through. Sometimes it’s linked to something that we’re doing, albeit unintentionally. A child who doesn’t know what is expected of them will lash out when confused. This is particularly noticeable when children are growing in independence and learning new skills, but at the same time the mistakes they make are behaviours we don’t want to encourage. It’s difficult to learn to drink from an open cup without spilling once or twice.
‘They never behave like this with me’. ‘The minute the mother walks in the door all hell breaks loose’. ‘The house is like a zoo when I get home’.
It’s a common complaint on both sides. Why do children act up when both nanny and parents are present? Here are 3 possible explanations:
They’re playing ‘power struggle’. Kids know that there’s a sense of hierarchy and they’re trying to navigate the complicated world of human relationships. When two people who are in charge of them are together, who is the one who has the ultimate power? The surest way for them to test this is to behave badly and see who tells them off, and whether the other person can over-rule any consequences.
Hiring a nanny is a risky business. You’re working from CVs with a variety of qualifications and employment histories, and a three line personal statement which is telling you what you want to hear. Not only that but you’re choosing someone to take your place, in a high-pressure, unsupervised role with unrestricted access to your children. Mitigating risk, a natural human tendency, is going to play a big part in your decision making when choosing a nanny.
To do this you may place arbitrary limits – you want your nanny to be confident handling an emergency so you insist they have a first aid certificate (sensible), you want to know they are a reasonable and law abiding person so you ask for a DBS check (also sensible). You may have preconceived notions about certain academic backgrounds or hobbies, which again is you trying to reduce risk by avoiding the unknown. You may be put off by an unprofessional email address, or an overly-familiar voicemail message, because it calls that person’s judgement into question.
A good nanny is a prize, one that other families may stoop low enough to try to steal from you. Nanny poaching can happen anywhere from the school gate to your own garden gate and it can be anyone including your next door neighbour or anyone close friend.
Some will say that a nanny who allows herself to be poached wasn’t happy in her job anyway. After all when you’re in a content and committed relationship you’re not casting around for a better partner! If you do sweep the room occasionally it’s just eye candy, and while your nanny might periodically flick through job ads it isn’t necessarily a sign of discontent. Poaching is more dangerous. Poaching is the equivalent of someone coming up to you in a bar, buying you a drink or six while whispering sweet nothings in your ear and ultimately enticing you to come home with them.
You can’t stop someone coming up to your nanny and buying them that drink, but you can make sure their sweet nothings fall on deaf ears and here’s how…
Continue reading “How to poach-proof your nanny relationship”
As employees nannies are entitled to paid holiday and the amount is specified in the contract. It can be expressed as weeks, days or hours depending on the nanny’s employment pattern – see here for more.
Previously the norm was to give 4 weeks plus Bank Holidays, but recently the trend has been to state 5.6 weeks (28 days) including Bank Holidays, which usually works out to the same amount but fairer to part-time workers who may not be actively working on Bank Holidays but are still entitled to the same proportion of holiday as full-time employees. Holiday in a nanny share can be complicated to arrange but it’s important that the nanny gets their full holiday entitlement so both families must communicate clearly.
As of December last year businesses providing food, which includes childcare providers, have to give information about the allergens in the food they provide. This applies not only to home-made food but also pre-prepared food bought and served when out and about. In practice children are unable to make their own decisions about avoiding allergens so it’s important to communicate with parents about foods to avoid, what you will be serving, and when their children have consumed allergens.
The legislation applies to 14 allergens:
Nannies tend to cook food that parents provide, so the parents should be aware of which allergens are available for consumption. It’s worth noting down in a communication diary what allergens were contained in the food consumed that day. Similarly if eating out inform the parents what allergens were present in writing, so make a habit of noting down food information when out and about.
NB Self-employed nannies, as a business, do have a responsibility to provide this information, like nurseries and childminders.
It’s a fact of life that people get ill, and those in contact with small children more often than most. One of the advantages of a nanny is that they will care for poorly children, but an oft cited disadvantage is that you rely on one person for your childcare, as you do with a childminder, and if they are sick you have no childcare. The sooner everyone knows about any sickness, the easier it is to deal with the disruption.
Tips for parents:
Sick children: As we said a nanny will normally care for sick children as part of their job, but it’s always good to give your nanny a heads up before they arrive. If your nanny is female and your children have an illness which could be dangerous in pregnancy you should warn your nanny in case they are in the early stages and haven’t told you.
Sick parents: There’s no reason your nanny shouldn’t come to work but they might need to adjust their plans slightly to give you the peace and quiet you need to recuperate.
Sick nannies: Before employing a nanny it’s a good idea to have a backup plan in place. Local nanny agencies should have temporary nannies available to work in your area or your employer may offer emergency childcare solutions. Most nannies will only take time off when they’re absolutely incapable of coming to work so even if it’s a day when you have a really important meeting try not to make them feel worse than they already do.
Tips for nannies:
Sick children: Your charges may want Mummy or Daddy, and many more cuddles than usual. Make sure your employers understand that your priority is your poorly charge and the usual jobs might not get done.
Sick parents: It can be hard having parents at home, especially when the children don’t understand that they need to rest. Don’t feel too awkward though – chances are they’re too busy feeling rubbish to listen to your out of tune renditions of head, shoulders, knees and toes at nappy change time.
Sick nannies: Call, rather than text, if you know the night before that you won’t be in the next day. Send a text between 10pm and 6am and follow it up with a phone call to make sure your employers know you won’t be in. If you can suggest any nanny friends who might be happy to cover all or part of the day, and it’s a good idea to have a list in the nanny diary at your boss’s house, then your employers will probably be very grateful.
It’s the time of year when parents are doing their first payroll run with a new nanny and if your initial sums were out it can be an unpleasant experience discovering that you’ve got a higher bill than you thought you had.
Problem #1 Nanny has another job
Even if it’s a Saturday job, if she had that job first she’ll be on a BR tax code with you, which means no tax free allowance and all earnings taxed at 20%. It used to be possible to split tax codes but HMRC are very reluctant to do that since real time information (RTI) was introduced. If you agreed a net salary then you are liable for all the tax and National Insurance contributions, which can be a lot more than you bargained for.
Problem #2 Nanny has a student loan
Student loan repayments kick in above £325/week (£1,409/month or £16,910/year) gross. 9% of the amount above this salary needs to be paid to the Student Loans Company on the nanny’s behalf, and you’re also liable for this if you agreed a net salary, which if a nanny is earning £2,250 a month is an extra £75. Nannies with degrees are becoming increasingly common, and most of those who have studied in the UK will have taken out a student loan. An even nastier surprise is where you think you’ve employed a nanny and are paying under the repayment threshold but overtime has pushed them over.
Problem #3 Nanny has a special code
HMRC allocate codes based on an individual’s situation. Most people with one job will have a standard tax code (for 2014 this is 1000L), however if a nanny has to pay back tax which was underpaid in previous years or receives benefits in kind they may have a special tax code which reduces their personal allowance (for example 700L which means they have a personal tax allowance of only £7,000 for the year), increasing your tax liability if you have agreed upon a net salary.
The simplest way to avoid any nasty surprises your end is to agree a gross salary in the contract. That way you know what your costs are, and you deduct the amount of tax (and anything else) your nanny is required to pay rather than adding to your bill.
