Tag: parents

Childcare to go!

Whether it’s action-packed adventure or chilling in the sun, more and more families are taking childcare with them on holiday. Travelling is increasingly part of a permanent nanny’s job or a temporary nanny can provide flexible, consistent, tailor-made childcare for families who just want a helping hand on holiday.*

 

3 things to talk about

– Money : For permanent nannies working normal hours means normal pay. Employers are responsible for paying all out-of-pocket expenses including flights, accommodation, food and travel insurance. If accommodation is limited then remember that nannies who have to share a room with the children usually expect to be paid a bit extra to compensate for the inconvenience, especially if a child still wakes in the night.
– Time off: Any time a nanny is expected to be present counts as work. Great bosses make it clear when nanny is welcome to relax by themselves or go out, and try to keep the children from barging in, just as a nanny would if asked to occupy the children while their bosses relax. Most nannies are happy to swap a morning for an evening babysitting or travel on a Sunday for a chance to shop or sightsee midweek but respect the hours agreed in the contract, even if they aren’t the usual 8am-6pm.
– Travelling time: In general travelling days, where the nanny travels with the family, are paid and as travelling can be lengthy (especially if it involves a 4am start) some overtime might be expected too. If employers happy to book a seat in a separate section of the plane then their nanny could have that time off during the day but chances their assistance will be wanted and they’re still prevented from spending the time as they choose.

 

2 Notes for nannies

– Check your nanny insurance. Most will cover you for travel with your permanent family for a certain number of days per year within the EU but there may be exclusions and this doesn’t replace travel or medical insurance for you!
– Don’t expect it to be a holiday for: it might be sunny, there might be a pool but you are still on duty!

 

1 top tip

– We hope travelling with your nanny or employers will be enjoyable, but if it doesn’t work out then don’t let it ruin a good relationship!

Separation Anxiety

Separating from their primary carer is a difficult experience for babies, and their parents too! In this post we look at some of the causes of separation anxiety and strategies to help.

 

What is separation anxiety?

Most people equate separation anxiety with crying and clinginess to a familiar adult. Separation anxiety is a natural stage that most children experience for the first time between 7 and 12 months. It’s a perfectly normal reaction to being parted from their primary carer. Unfortunately it also often coincides with a child entering childcare for the first time as a parent goes back to work. By the time a child is 2 years old, separation anxiety should have calmed down, although they may still be anxious or nervous about staying with an unfamiliar adult or in an unfamiliar place the first time it happens. Children (and adults) continue to experience some symptoms of separation anxiety even when they can rationalise what it happening. This can often be seen in parents leaving their child for the first time!

 

What causes separation anxiety?

Separation anxiety occurs when babies realise that things and people exist even when they can’t be seen. Babies realise that they are alone and feel that there should be someone there, so may cry in the night if they wake and find themselves alone or cry if you leave the room, or they feel anxious when a familiar adult leaves, even if there is someone to look after them.

 

What can help?

This depends on what is causing the anxiety and the extent you’re prepared to compromise what you do.

If a baby experiences separation anxiety every time you leave the room one option is to take them with you. At some stage they will outgrow their anxiety but this isn’t always practical.

Another strategy is to practice, first by playing peekaboo or hide and seek and then leaving the room and popping back in frequently. Say that you’re going and you’ll be back soon, and don’t worry if you can only manage 10 seconds at first. The most important thing is that you leave and come back.

Children will often experience less separation anxiety if left with another familiar adult so try to balance time spent with Mummy where Daddy leaves and time spent with Daddy and Mummy leaves. A child will feel more secure about the absence of one parent because the other parent is still there. Having other familiar adults – extended family, neighbours or friends – who will stay while you leave, even if it’s just to make a cup of tea, will acclimatise them to being without you without being alone.

At night or nap time do comfort a child but keep visits short and try to avoid lots of interaction. Their separation anxiety is real and distressing for them and they need to know that you are there. If they are unable to fall asleep because they are so distressed try the gradual retreat method where you put them in their cot and sit beside them, gradually moving further and further away until you are out the door. It may take a while and you need to be consistent but it is a gentle way to help them overcome their fear.

 

Separation anxiety and childcare – some advice for parents.

Children who have only ever been in the care of their parents naturally experience separation anxiety when they enter childcare or school.Children who are used to being around a wide range of familiar adults, for example extended family, are less likely to protest when Mummy or Daddy leaves although they are still likely to experience some separation anxiety. The transition just feels easier because they are accustomed to you leaving and coming back and you are used to leaving them.

It’s important to have a settling in period with a childminder or nursery, or a handover with a new nanny. Build up to a short day by first leaving for short periods, then half days and eventually a full day.

Make sure you always say good-bye when you go, and childcarers should always say good-bye at the end of the day too. Once you have left resist the temptation to pop back and see how they’re doing and then leaving again – this is confusing for children.

Always be positive about your chosen childcare. If your child senses that you are nervous or unsure they will pick up on this and feel unsettled too.

DBS update service

 

From 17 June 2013 keeping your Disclosure and Barring Service certificate (previous CRB check) up to date will be much simpler and more cost effective, thanks to the launch of the new Update Service.

What is the DBS?

DBS, or Disclosure and Barring Service, is the new name for the combined Criminal Records Bureau and the Independent Safeguarding Authority. This is the organisation (in the UK) which provides criminal disclosure certificates. A DBS certificate is required for any position where you will come into contact with children or vulnerable adults, such as working as a nanny.

 

How does the current system work?

Under the current system, the applicant is given a DBS certificate, which will list any offences the applicant has been charged with (or state that there are none). The certificate can only be guaranteed as of the date it is produced, which means that they are immediately out of date and a new one is required for any new post. This can be particularly problematic for temporary nannies and maternity nurses.

As anyone who has filled out the application form will know, it is a time consuming process and can be expensive, if the cost is not being met by your employer. For those in, or applying for, a voluntary role the application is usually free.

 

What is the Update Service?

The new Update Service is designed to reduce the bureaucracy and expense of the DBS system by allowing certificate holders to monitor their certificates online, allowing for future employers to view the necessary information, without the need for a new certificate (provided you already have a certificate of the required disclosure level).

The Update Service will cost £13 a year (or be provided free if your certificate is for a voluntary role), and you can link multiple certificates to one account. When applying for a new job, you can provide the employer with the details of your certificate and they can check the status of your certificate online. If your certificate is still up to date and accurate then you need take no further action. If something has changed you will have to apply for a new certificate.

 

How does it apply to me?

For nannies – you will require an enhanced disclosure certificate. This searches your history for any offences relating to children, as well things like theft convictions or anti social behaviour orders (ASBOs). You will need a DBS certificate whether your are working in a paid or voluntary capacity. With the update service (any check carried out after 17th June 2013) you will not have to apply for a new DBS certificate for every job. Instead you can choose to pay £13 a year and provide your propsective employers with the details so they can check whether anything has changed since your last check was carried out.

 

For parents – if you are looking to employ a nanny, you should ask to see a copy of a recent DBS certificate, or you may ask that they provide a new one specifically for you. For checks carried out after 17th June 2013 you can ask whether the applicant has subscribed to the update service. If they have they will be able to provide you with their details and you can go online to check whether their certificate is still up to date. If you see that there have been changes recorded you will need to ask them to apply for a new check. If they have not subscribed to the service then you should request a new check, which will need to be done via an umbrella body such as a nanny agency.

 

Do I need to subscribe?

There is no obligation to subscribe but there are several advantages:

You will not need to apply for a new check every time you apply for a new job. Instead you can demonstrate that your record is clean on an ongoing basis.

The £13 a year can be offset against tax, particularly for temporary nannies and maternity nurses.

Based on changing jobs every 3 years, this will save you time and money as you won’t need to apply for a new check before looking for a new job.

You may never need to fill in a DBS check form again!

 

 

A comprehensive guide for applicants can be found here.

A comprehensive guide for employers can be found here.

 

More information about the DBS, can be found at www.gov.uk/DBS.

9nifty no bake treats

Sometimes you want to have a yummy treat but you don’t want to use the oven or you’re too impatient to wait for a cake to bake. Maybe you don’t have any eggs, or flour? Don’t worry – we have 9 nifty treats to the rescue!

1. Chocolate cornflake crispies

They’re an oldie but a goodie.

Ingredients: chocolate (as much as you like) and cornflakes or rice crispies (just enough for the chocolate to cover them)

Equipment: Hob, saucepan and heatproof bowl or microwave and microwaveable bowl, large bowl and spoon for mixing, cupcake cases, fridge

Melt some chocolate either in a bowl over  saucepan on the hob or in the microwave, mix it with some cornflakes or rice crispies, spoon it into cupcake cases, pop them in the fridge and wait for them to set (that’s the hard bit!).

2.  No bake cheesecake

And you thought cheesecake was complicated…

Ingredients: Half a pack of digestive biscuits (or hob nobs or ginger nuts), 125g butter , 375g cream cheese, 1 x 400g tin of condensed milk, lemon juice (to taste)

Equipment: A freezer bag, rolling pin,  microwave and microwaveable bowl or hob with saucepan and heatproof bowl, mixing bowl and spoon, round baking tin with removable base (ideally springform), fridge, cling film, scales, tin opener

Take the cream cheese out the fridge to soften. Put the biscuits in the bag and crush them with the rolling pin. Melt the butter and combine it with the biscuit crumbs to make a base. Put that in the baking tin and chill until set (usually around 15mins). Then mix the cream cheese, condensed milk and lemon juice together, spoon it over the base and leave overnight.

3. Fruit ice lollies

Make these on a rainy day so when the sun comes out they’re ready!

Ingredients: Fresh fruit (berries, kiwi, peaches, apricot and mango all work well) fruit juice

Equipment: Ice lolly sticks and moulds, or you can improvise with lolly sticks and little plastic cups, chopping board, knife, freezer

Chop the fruit up and pop it in the moulds, fill to 2/3 with fruit juice, pop them in the freezer and enjoy!

4. Iced biscuits

It doesn’t much simpler (or messier) than this

Ingredients: Biscuits, tubes of ready made icing or  icing sugar, water and food colouring mixed to a smooth paste

Equipment: None if you’re using ready made icing tubes, a bowl, spoon and piping bags or bottles if you’re not

Give children the biscuits, give children the icing. Stand back.

5. Yoghurt dipped fruit

Fun and healthy!

Ingredients: Fruit (strawberries, blueberries, bananas, kiwis, raisins), greek yoghurt

Equipment: Knife, chopping board, bowl, trays suitable for freezing, baking paper, freezer

You can choose whether to leave fruit whole or cut it in half or into slices, depending on the fruit. Cover the trays with baking paper. Once prepared, dip the fruit in the yoghurt, put them on the tray, put the trays in the freezer and leave for an hour or so. The idea is to set the yoghurt but not to freeze the fruit (although you can if you want!)

6. Coconut lemon slice

A classic combination of flavours to try with children

Ingredients: 200g shortbread biscuits, 200g condensed milk, 2 cups coconut, zest of 1 lemon, 30g butter, 2 cups icing sugar, 3tbsp lemon juice

Equipment: Freezer bag, rolling pin, mixing bowl and spoon, deep baking tray, baking ppaer microwave and microwaveable bowl, lemon zester, fridge, scales, tin opener

Crush the biscuits in the freezer bag using the rolling pin, then put them in the mixing bowl with the condensed milk, coconut and lemon zest. Combine these, melt the butter and stir it in. Transfer the mix to the baking tray and press it down firmly. Make the icing by combining the sugar and lemon juice and spread it on top. Chill until set and keep in the fridge.

7. Eton Mess

Quick, easy and infinitely variable

Ingredients: Meringues, whipped cream, fresh fruit (traditionally strawberries, but other berries, pineapple, passionfruit and mango are yummy alternatives)

Equipment: knife, chopping board, small bowls

Prepare the fruit, add the meringues broken into small pieces, gently mix in the whipped cream and serve

8. Mini banoffee pies

Ingredients: Digestive biscuits, Carnation caramel, banana, whipped cream

Equipment: knife, chopping board, tin opener, spoon

Arrange the digestive biscuits on a plate, top with caramel, sliced banana and whipped cream

9. Microwave chocolate cake

Who said no baking meant no cake?

Ingredients: 4tbsp flour, 4tbsp sugar, 1tbsp cocoa, 2tbsp beaten egg (can be left out), 3tbsp milk, 3tbsp sunflower oil (or melted butter, or apparently mashed banana works too),  chocolate chips, optional flavouring – vanilla or cinnamon work well

Equipment: Microwave, microwaveable bowl, tablespoon

Mix ingredients together, microwave. My microwave cooks this to perfection in 1 min 30s but you may need to experiment a little.

 

Show your appreciation


6-13 May is Nanny Week in the UK, dedicated to the amazing childcare professionals who provide loving care for children in their own homes day after day. A good nanny is more than an employee, they become a vital part of the family, and deserve some appreciation. Obviously nothing replaces being a good, considerate employer all year round, but a little extra can go a very long way.

We asked over on our Facebook page what nannies would like their employers to do to show their appreciation this week, and top of the list was saying ‘Thank You’ – 2 simple words that make a huge difference because they mean that you have noticed what your nanny does and are grateful for it. It doesn’t cost you anything but it will mean the world to your nanny.

If you are in the mood to spend a little more time, effort or cash then coming home early unexpectedly and letting your nanny go home is a great bonus. Getting them a nice cake to have with tea or coffee during nap time, or making sure the fridge is stocked with their favourite snack is another little gesture to show them you care.

Showing your appreciation all year round will make your nanny feel valued, but if you’ve got into the habit of treating them as part of the furniture make a special effort today to show them just how much they mean to you.

How to lose your nanny in 10 days

© Tofi | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

 

1. Don’t sort the paperwork

Ideally you should have a contract in place before your nanny starts, but if you don’t then make signing one a top priority. Aside from being a legal obligation on your part, it’s a good idea to have the arrangement clarified in writing. You’ll also need her bank details and her National Insurance number, as well as her P45 from her previous job, to pay her correctly.

 

2. Don’t say thank you

It’s nice to say thank you to your nanny at the end of every day, but it’s absolutely vital if she goes out of her way to do something, whether you’ve asked her to or not. You might be paying her but a little gratitude goes a long way.

 

3. Go back on your word

The relationship between a nanny and employer is based on mutual trust and respect. You trust her to care for your children and she trusts you to keep your end of the bargain. If you agree to something, be it going to a specific playgroup or that she can leave half an hour early one day, don’t suddenly turn around and say you’ve changed your mind and it’s no longer possible.

 

4. Tell her she can’t sit on your chair

It’s understandable that even though you’ve let someone into your home you’ll still want to keep a bit of privacy, but do remember that it’s your nanny’s place of work where she will spend a great deal of time, and it’s vital that she feel comfortable. Dictating where she can and can’t sit is petty, and slights like that won’t make for an easy working relationship.

 

5. Be late without notice

Emergencies happen, that’s one of the reason why a nanny is such a great form of childcare, but it absolutely doesn’t excuse lateness with no warning. If your nanny finishes at 6, you haven’t left the office at 5.30 and you know it takes you 45 minutes to get home, you’re already late. Take a moment out of whatever you’re dealing with to call your nanny and apologise. Remember she may have plans for the evening too so she may not be thrilled with the news.

 

6. Don’t top up the kitty or reimburse her for expenses

If you ask your nanny to pick up essentials, such as nappies or bread, or expect her to take your children to activities then it’s expected that you pay for it. It’s courteous to provide a kitty for your nanny so she doesn’t have to fund day to day expenditure out of her own pocket, but if this is the arrangement you have make sure you pay her back promptly.

 

7. Leave a critical note, but don’t suggest improvements

Nannies don’t have mind-reading superpowers (for people over the age of 3, that is) so any time you need to tell your nanny you’d rather she did something a different way, tell her how you’d like it done. Also make sure you give any constructive criticism face to face – it can be really demoralising when someone is nice to your face and then an hour later you discover they weren’t happy at all.

 

8. Ask her to clean your bathroom

Most nannies will happily take care of nursery duties – that is chores related directly to the children such as cleaning up after meals, doing their laundry and hovering their bedrooms and playroom. Although some nannies will be happy to take on additional housekeeping duties, cleaning your bathroom is a step too far. Remember the top priority for a nanny is always the children.

 

9. Take a day off to follow her around

You probably don’t work too well with your boss breathing down your neck and your nanny is no exception. It’s difficult to interact naturally with children, sing, dance and be silly, if you know someone else is judging your every move. Added to that, children always behave differently when their parents are around, so any judgements you make are likely to be based on unsound evidence.

 

10. Don’t pay her

As much as your nanny probably loves her job, as a professional she does expect to be paid. Non-payment is a breach of contract, and your nanny would be perfectly justified in leaving immediately.

Measles

What is measles

Measles is a viral disease which used to be very common in childhood. It is highly contagious, particularly among children. There have been recent outbreaks in Wales, spreading into Gloucestershire, and in Yorkshire.

What are the symptoms

The first symptoms of measles are similar to a cold – runny nose, sneezing, red and watery eyes. It may be accompanied by a dry cough. A child may also be sensitive to light, have a temperature, be generally tired, irritable and achey, and have little appetite.

Measles has a red/brown spotty rash which often starts behind the ears and spreads over the head, body and legs. You can find a picture of it on the NHS slideshow. This rash in conjunction with a very high temperature (over 100F°) and small greyish spots inside the mouth are key indicators for measles.

Why is it serious

Measles can cause other complications, such as vomiting and diahorrhea, conjunctivitis, laryngitis, ear infections and febrile seizures.

Less common, but more serious complications include pneumonia, bronchitis, croup, encephalitis (inflammation of the brain), meningitis and hepatitis. Rare but very serious complications are infection of the optic nerve, which causes blindness, heart and lung problems, and a rare brain complication, which is fatal.

How can you treat it

There is nothing that can be done to treat measles itself. Any secondary infections may be treated with antibiotics. The best thing to do is to treat the symptoms individually.

  • Keep children hydrated and at a comfortable temperature. Use paediatric paracetemol or ibuprofen to relieve pain and fever.
  • If a child has a cough then humidify the room using a bowl of water. A drink of honey and lemon may help but this shouldn’t be given to babies under 12 months, as honey is not suitable for them.
  • Keep light levels low but closing curtains and using night lights instead of the main lighting in a room.
  • Clean sore and gunky eyes with cotton wool and warm water. Remember to throw away each ball as you use it so you don’t spread infection.

How can you prevent it

The only sure way to prevent measles is by vaccinating against it. This is usually done with the MMR jab which requires 2 injections at least 3 months apart, usually the first given between 12 and 13 months and another between 3 and 5 years old. If you need urgent protection because of an outbreak in your area or because you are travelling abroad an additional dose can be given to children under 12 months. Premature babies may have a special vaccination schedule.

As a nanny it’s important to make sure you are immunised against measles. If you are in any doubt whether you are immune or whether you need to be vaccinated, ask your doctor for a blood test, explaining that you work with young children and potentially pregnant women too.

Meet The Blissful Baby Expert

 

 

This is a guest blog from Lisa Clegg, author of The Blissful Baby Expert. She shares how she came to write her manual for parents.

I grew up the 4th eldest out of 26 grandchildren, surrounded by babies and small children from a young age. I’ve always been particularly interested in small babies and I was always the one who volunteered to take any babies off their parents’ hands at family get togethers and parties!

All I ever wanted to do was get a job working with children and after leaving school I went straight to college to do what was then called the NNEB-equivalent to an NVQ level 3 in childcare.

After completing the 2-year course I went straight into my 1st nanny position where I had sole charge of 3 children. I continued in nannying up until I had my 1st baby  – Jack – in October 2002.

After my 2nd son was born in 2006, I began doing some maternity night nanny contracts. I discovered night nannying by accident really browsing though the nannyjob website which I enjoyed doing on a regular basis. Like many people I knew that some mothers employ someone to come and live in and help them after the birth of their baby, a Maternity Nurse.  However, I didn’t realise that a mother could employ someone to  JUST do the nights-allowing her the crucial part of the day covered so that she could get some sleep! Having just gone through the sleepless nights myself with my 2nd baby I knew first hand how torturous it can be when feel like you will never get a full night’s sleep again! A good night’s sleep means you feel like you can cope with anything during the day!

I absolutely loved night nannying as it gave me access to the age group I loved working with the most – those tiny newborns – and I knew exactly how the mothers I worked for would be feeling. I LOVE my job and get so much satisfaction from starting work with a new family, who are usually in chaos with neither parent knowing quite where to start! It’s fantastic to leave them confident about caring for their baby, with a happy baby who eats and sleeps well.

By using a routine as a basis and gently steering babies in the right direction from day 1,  I have left happy parents at the end of each contract whose babies typically drop their night feed between 8-10 weeks, settle well during sleep times and are in general very relaxed happy babies from day to day.

It has worked for many mums and babies and it was all of them that inspired me to write my book THE BLISSFUL BABY EXPERT. I wanted to reach out to so many more parents who are desperate for answers to basic questions and who just need someone to point them in the right direction of keeping life with a new-born baby on an even keel. My book gives mums that starting block and as a mother of 3 children myself I understand first hand how difficult life with a new-born can be when you are not sure where to begin!

This guide has information on essential and non-essential items and equipment to buy for your baby, what to expect when going into hospital, coming home and the first few days and weeks, feeding, sleep, weaning, common problems and illnesses for mum and baby and even developmental milestones.

It has been tested by many parents with young babies and they all agree that there is nothing on the market that is as honest, informative and parent friendly. All reviews so far have been fantastic. As a mother, I can empathise with  all these parents and have been through many of the same scenarios. This is not something that a lot of authors who have written parenting books can say, as many of them have never had their own children and experienced the challenges that motherhood brings!

I hope that my book will continue to help many more mums in the future.

 

THE BLISSFUL BABY EXPERT can be purchased from Amazon in ebook form, which can be downloaded to an Ipad or Iphone as well as many other devices once the kindle App has been installed,  or paperbacks can be ordered through the website www.theblissfulbabyexpert.co.uk

 

 

 

How to talk to children about upsetting events

After the horrendous bombings at the Boston marathon, you may be asked questions by the children you care for. It’s understandable that they will want to make sense of the upsetting events around them, the images they see on the TV for the front pages of newspapers and perhaps the seemingly inexplicable sadness of adults around them. These questions do deserve answers, because they are a sign of a child’s worry which can easily multiply out of control but it’s best to talk to the children’s parents first about how they want their child’s questions handled.

At times such as these it’s especially important to maintain a routine and sense of normality. This provides children with the safety and security that they need. Getting out and about will allow children to see that their own neighbourhood is carrying on with daily life. This is an important step in separating which is shown on TV from their reality.

How much you tell a child will depend on their age and their personality. Younger children don’t yet have the capacity to separate what is away and close to them from fictional portrayals or events further away. They may become very scared and overwhelmed by their fears. At this age it’s important to reiterate that they are safe and this is something which happened far away. Focus on the positive role carried out by the emergency services and do acknowledge the sadness that injury and death brings but don’t dwell on it.

Older children still need to be reassured that they are safe but they are more likely to ask quoins owns about why it happened and whether it will happen to them. Questions of this nature are difficult to answer appropriately and it’s best to keep responses as simple as possible. Do be careful if children propose extreme solutions, either influenced by films or video games or repeating something they have heard an adult say. It’s important to encourage them to trust in the justice system and not assign blame, even if we ourselves are railing at the perpetrators. Children often have a strong innate sense of justice and want to know that the people responsible will in some way be punished but that can be disproportionate.

Although presenting a calm exterior and brave face to children is important, nannies must not just block out events around them. It is both permissible and appropriate to express shock and disbelief, or to want to seek reassurance. Alone all day without adult company it can be easy for things to prey on your mind. Talk to others – a mentor, a trusted nanny friend or an online community – who understand the pressures and may be able to share coping strategies or provide ideas for answering difficult questions, which may continue to surface in the days and weeks to come.

Continued life and Thymes

Kuvona | www.dreamstime.com
Like many other families who employ a nanny, we use a nanny/parent diary to communicate with each other and write down important messages. This is recommended by practically every book, website, parent at playgroup and nanny at interview. Of course it takes a bit of trial and error to get right….

When we started I obsessively wrote down everything, and I mean everything – nappies, precise waking times, feed timings to the last millisecond. Ellie, to be fair, played along and I have an excruciatingly thorough account of the first six weeks. Sin #1, overinformation.

Then I got lazy and days went by (possibly up to s week) when I didn’t even read the thing let alone write something down. When I did it was a quick note, mostly critical, and this is where we came to our first cropper. Sin #2, underuse.

One Sunday, slightly exasperated that Ol seemed to have no clothes, I flipped to Monday and scrawled “please make sure you do a wash on Friday so we have enough clothes for the weekend”. Monday evening I came home and, remembering that I’d left something in the diary, checked to see the reply.

“Wash was done Thursday. Please see April 9 re: sorted clothes and April 11 re: suggested purchases.”

Oh.

Now had I actually talked rather than relying on just writing I might have discovered that Ellie, in a bout of efficiency had sorted through Ol’s clothes and he only had about 5 outfits which fitted (hence the follow up note on the Friday), and of course because it was in the diary it was assumed that the message had been read and understood. Wrong. To compound this, instead of politely asking Ellie to do the laundry (whereupon I would have discovered that she actually did), I wrote a snippy note in a fit of pique. Sin #3, relying on the diary and sin #4, writing something in a way you’d never say it.

Things jogged along nicely for a while, but then I committed sin #5 (diarising something before it was confirmed). I put something in the diary 3 weeks in advance, because I knew we’d need a babysit, and this happened over a weekend so I didn’t want to text to ask there and then. I had it in the back of my mind to bring it up very quickly Monday, just to say there was something in the diary, but, fairly predictably, I forgot. Luckily I have a very understanding and organised nanny who looks through the month ahead every Monday (which is the only reason Granny got a handcrafted birthday card this year) and who called to ask whether we wanted her to babysit

Far be it from me to tender advice…. but I’ll go you 2 bits anyway.

Use your diary judiciously – not too much, but not so little that you never look at it and miss important info

AND

Never use your diary as a substitute for talking, even if its just to say “did you see the diary?”