Tag: parents

How to lose your nanny in 10 days

© Tofi | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

 

1. Don’t sort the paperwork

Ideally you should have a contract in place before your nanny starts, but if you don’t then make signing one a top priority. Aside from being a legal obligation on your part, it’s a good idea to have the arrangement clarified in writing. You’ll also need her bank details and her National Insurance number, as well as her P45 from her previous job, to pay her correctly.

 

2. Don’t say thank you

It’s nice to say thank you to your nanny at the end of every day, but it’s absolutely vital if she goes out of her way to do something, whether you’ve asked her to or not. You might be paying her but a little gratitude goes a long way.

 

3. Go back on your word

The relationship between a nanny and employer is based on mutual trust and respect. You trust her to care for your children and she trusts you to keep your end of the bargain. If you agree to something, be it going to a specific playgroup or that she can leave half an hour early one day, don’t suddenly turn around and say you’ve changed your mind and it’s no longer possible.

 

4. Tell her she can’t sit on your chair

It’s understandable that even though you’ve let someone into your home you’ll still want to keep a bit of privacy, but do remember that it’s your nanny’s place of work where she will spend a great deal of time, and it’s vital that she feel comfortable. Dictating where she can and can’t sit is petty, and slights like that won’t make for an easy working relationship.

 

5. Be late without notice

Emergencies happen, that’s one of the reason why a nanny is such a great form of childcare, but it absolutely doesn’t excuse lateness with no warning. If your nanny finishes at 6, you haven’t left the office at 5.30 and you know it takes you 45 minutes to get home, you’re already late. Take a moment out of whatever you’re dealing with to call your nanny and apologise. Remember she may have plans for the evening too so she may not be thrilled with the news.

 

6. Don’t top up the kitty or reimburse her for expenses

If you ask your nanny to pick up essentials, such as nappies or bread, or expect her to take your children to activities then it’s expected that you pay for it. It’s courteous to provide a kitty for your nanny so she doesn’t have to fund day to day expenditure out of her own pocket, but if this is the arrangement you have make sure you pay her back promptly.

 

7. Leave a critical note, but don’t suggest improvements

Nannies don’t have mind-reading superpowers (for people over the age of 3, that is) so any time you need to tell your nanny you’d rather she did something a different way, tell her how you’d like it done. Also make sure you give any constructive criticism face to face – it can be really demoralising when someone is nice to your face and then an hour later you discover they weren’t happy at all.

 

8. Ask her to clean your bathroom

Most nannies will happily take care of nursery duties – that is chores related directly to the children such as cleaning up after meals, doing their laundry and hovering their bedrooms and playroom. Although some nannies will be happy to take on additional housekeeping duties, cleaning your bathroom is a step too far. Remember the top priority for a nanny is always the children.

 

9. Take a day off to follow her around

You probably don’t work too well with your boss breathing down your neck and your nanny is no exception. It’s difficult to interact naturally with children, sing, dance and be silly, if you know someone else is judging your every move. Added to that, children always behave differently when their parents are around, so any judgements you make are likely to be based on unsound evidence.

 

10. Don’t pay her

As much as your nanny probably loves her job, as a professional she does expect to be paid. Non-payment is a breach of contract, and your nanny would be perfectly justified in leaving immediately.

Measles

What is measles

Measles is a viral disease which used to be very common in childhood. It is highly contagious, particularly among children. There have been recent outbreaks in Wales, spreading into Gloucestershire, and in Yorkshire.

What are the symptoms

The first symptoms of measles are similar to a cold – runny nose, sneezing, red and watery eyes. It may be accompanied by a dry cough. A child may also be sensitive to light, have a temperature, be generally tired, irritable and achey, and have little appetite.

Measles has a red/brown spotty rash which often starts behind the ears and spreads over the head, body and legs. You can find a picture of it on the NHS slideshow. This rash in conjunction with a very high temperature (over 100F°) and small greyish spots inside the mouth are key indicators for measles.

Why is it serious

Measles can cause other complications, such as vomiting and diahorrhea, conjunctivitis, laryngitis, ear infections and febrile seizures.

Less common, but more serious complications include pneumonia, bronchitis, croup, encephalitis (inflammation of the brain), meningitis and hepatitis. Rare but very serious complications are infection of the optic nerve, which causes blindness, heart and lung problems, and a rare brain complication, which is fatal.

How can you treat it

There is nothing that can be done to treat measles itself. Any secondary infections may be treated with antibiotics. The best thing to do is to treat the symptoms individually.

  • Keep children hydrated and at a comfortable temperature. Use paediatric paracetemol or ibuprofen to relieve pain and fever.
  • If a child has a cough then humidify the room using a bowl of water. A drink of honey and lemon may help but this shouldn’t be given to babies under 12 months, as honey is not suitable for them.
  • Keep light levels low but closing curtains and using night lights instead of the main lighting in a room.
  • Clean sore and gunky eyes with cotton wool and warm water. Remember to throw away each ball as you use it so you don’t spread infection.

How can you prevent it

The only sure way to prevent measles is by vaccinating against it. This is usually done with the MMR jab which requires 2 injections at least 3 months apart, usually the first given between 12 and 13 months and another between 3 and 5 years old. If you need urgent protection because of an outbreak in your area or because you are travelling abroad an additional dose can be given to children under 12 months. Premature babies may have a special vaccination schedule.

As a nanny it’s important to make sure you are immunised against measles. If you are in any doubt whether you are immune or whether you need to be vaccinated, ask your doctor for a blood test, explaining that you work with young children and potentially pregnant women too.

Meet The Blissful Baby Expert

 

 

This is a guest blog from Lisa Clegg, author of The Blissful Baby Expert. She shares how she came to write her manual for parents.

I grew up the 4th eldest out of 26 grandchildren, surrounded by babies and small children from a young age. I’ve always been particularly interested in small babies and I was always the one who volunteered to take any babies off their parents’ hands at family get togethers and parties!

All I ever wanted to do was get a job working with children and after leaving school I went straight to college to do what was then called the NNEB-equivalent to an NVQ level 3 in childcare.

After completing the 2-year course I went straight into my 1st nanny position where I had sole charge of 3 children. I continued in nannying up until I had my 1st baby  – Jack – in October 2002.

After my 2nd son was born in 2006, I began doing some maternity night nanny contracts. I discovered night nannying by accident really browsing though the nannyjob website which I enjoyed doing on a regular basis. Like many people I knew that some mothers employ someone to come and live in and help them after the birth of their baby, a Maternity Nurse.  However, I didn’t realise that a mother could employ someone to  JUST do the nights-allowing her the crucial part of the day covered so that she could get some sleep! Having just gone through the sleepless nights myself with my 2nd baby I knew first hand how torturous it can be when feel like you will never get a full night’s sleep again! A good night’s sleep means you feel like you can cope with anything during the day!

I absolutely loved night nannying as it gave me access to the age group I loved working with the most – those tiny newborns – and I knew exactly how the mothers I worked for would be feeling. I LOVE my job and get so much satisfaction from starting work with a new family, who are usually in chaos with neither parent knowing quite where to start! It’s fantastic to leave them confident about caring for their baby, with a happy baby who eats and sleeps well.

By using a routine as a basis and gently steering babies in the right direction from day 1,  I have left happy parents at the end of each contract whose babies typically drop their night feed between 8-10 weeks, settle well during sleep times and are in general very relaxed happy babies from day to day.

It has worked for many mums and babies and it was all of them that inspired me to write my book THE BLISSFUL BABY EXPERT. I wanted to reach out to so many more parents who are desperate for answers to basic questions and who just need someone to point them in the right direction of keeping life with a new-born baby on an even keel. My book gives mums that starting block and as a mother of 3 children myself I understand first hand how difficult life with a new-born can be when you are not sure where to begin!

This guide has information on essential and non-essential items and equipment to buy for your baby, what to expect when going into hospital, coming home and the first few days and weeks, feeding, sleep, weaning, common problems and illnesses for mum and baby and even developmental milestones.

It has been tested by many parents with young babies and they all agree that there is nothing on the market that is as honest, informative and parent friendly. All reviews so far have been fantastic. As a mother, I can empathise with  all these parents and have been through many of the same scenarios. This is not something that a lot of authors who have written parenting books can say, as many of them have never had their own children and experienced the challenges that motherhood brings!

I hope that my book will continue to help many more mums in the future.

 

THE BLISSFUL BABY EXPERT can be purchased from Amazon in ebook form, which can be downloaded to an Ipad or Iphone as well as many other devices once the kindle App has been installed,  or paperbacks can be ordered through the website www.theblissfulbabyexpert.co.uk

 

 

 

How to talk to children about upsetting events

After the horrendous bombings at the Boston marathon, you may be asked questions by the children you care for. It’s understandable that they will want to make sense of the upsetting events around them, the images they see on the TV for the front pages of newspapers and perhaps the seemingly inexplicable sadness of adults around them. These questions do deserve answers, because they are a sign of a child’s worry which can easily multiply out of control but it’s best to talk to the children’s parents first about how they want their child’s questions handled.

At times such as these it’s especially important to maintain a routine and sense of normality. This provides children with the safety and security that they need. Getting out and about will allow children to see that their own neighbourhood is carrying on with daily life. This is an important step in separating which is shown on TV from their reality.

How much you tell a child will depend on their age and their personality. Younger children don’t yet have the capacity to separate what is away and close to them from fictional portrayals or events further away. They may become very scared and overwhelmed by their fears. At this age it’s important to reiterate that they are safe and this is something which happened far away. Focus on the positive role carried out by the emergency services and do acknowledge the sadness that injury and death brings but don’t dwell on it.

Older children still need to be reassured that they are safe but they are more likely to ask quoins owns about why it happened and whether it will happen to them. Questions of this nature are difficult to answer appropriately and it’s best to keep responses as simple as possible. Do be careful if children propose extreme solutions, either influenced by films or video games or repeating something they have heard an adult say. It’s important to encourage them to trust in the justice system and not assign blame, even if we ourselves are railing at the perpetrators. Children often have a strong innate sense of justice and want to know that the people responsible will in some way be punished but that can be disproportionate.

Although presenting a calm exterior and brave face to children is important, nannies must not just block out events around them. It is both permissible and appropriate to express shock and disbelief, or to want to seek reassurance. Alone all day without adult company it can be easy for things to prey on your mind. Talk to others – a mentor, a trusted nanny friend or an online community – who understand the pressures and may be able to share coping strategies or provide ideas for answering difficult questions, which may continue to surface in the days and weeks to come.

Continued life and Thymes

Kuvona | www.dreamstime.com
Like many other families who employ a nanny, we use a nanny/parent diary to communicate with each other and write down important messages. This is recommended by practically every book, website, parent at playgroup and nanny at interview. Of course it takes a bit of trial and error to get right….

When we started I obsessively wrote down everything, and I mean everything – nappies, precise waking times, feed timings to the last millisecond. Ellie, to be fair, played along and I have an excruciatingly thorough account of the first six weeks. Sin #1, overinformation.

Then I got lazy and days went by (possibly up to s week) when I didn’t even read the thing let alone write something down. When I did it was a quick note, mostly critical, and this is where we came to our first cropper. Sin #2, underuse.

One Sunday, slightly exasperated that Ol seemed to have no clothes, I flipped to Monday and scrawled “please make sure you do a wash on Friday so we have enough clothes for the weekend”. Monday evening I came home and, remembering that I’d left something in the diary, checked to see the reply.

“Wash was done Thursday. Please see April 9 re: sorted clothes and April 11 re: suggested purchases.”

Oh.

Now had I actually talked rather than relying on just writing I might have discovered that Ellie, in a bout of efficiency had sorted through Ol’s clothes and he only had about 5 outfits which fitted (hence the follow up note on the Friday), and of course because it was in the diary it was assumed that the message had been read and understood. Wrong. To compound this, instead of politely asking Ellie to do the laundry (whereupon I would have discovered that she actually did), I wrote a snippy note in a fit of pique. Sin #3, relying on the diary and sin #4, writing something in a way you’d never say it.

Things jogged along nicely for a while, but then I committed sin #5 (diarising something before it was confirmed). I put something in the diary 3 weeks in advance, because I knew we’d need a babysit, and this happened over a weekend so I didn’t want to text to ask there and then. I had it in the back of my mind to bring it up very quickly Monday, just to say there was something in the diary, but, fairly predictably, I forgot. Luckily I have a very understanding and organised nanny who looks through the month ahead every Monday (which is the only reason Granny got a handcrafted birthday card this year) and who called to ask whether we wanted her to babysit

Far be it from me to tender advice…. but I’ll go you 2 bits anyway.

Use your diary judiciously – not too much, but not so little that you never look at it and miss important info

AND

Never use your diary as a substitute for talking, even if its just to say “did you see the diary?”

Pizza Thyme

© Kuvona | Dreamstime.com

As we all know small children have an unfortunate habit of repeating snippets of conversation they’ve overhead at inconvenient times. They parrot back words and phrases that they’ve overheard, frequently without you even knowing that they’ve overheard and sometimes that you didn’t particularly want them to hear.

We instituted a no swearing in front of the child rule after Ol’s thirty-second word was ‘oh c**p’, used in context I hasten to add, and needless to say it doesn’t figure on the list of ‘My First Fifty Words’ that every paranoid first-time mother fills in. Other than that, though, we’ve got off fairly lightly so far. Or at least I thought we had.

Every now and again Ellie will recount something with an unholy amount of glee. I’ve learnt to be wary of a conversation at the end of the day which starts with a meaningful ‘so…’.

‘So…you know you keep a box of tampax at toddler height in the downstairs loo?’

‘So…your son overfilled his nappy today and had an impromptu bath just before lunch.’

‘So…he’s really mastered the whole spoon as a catapult thing now.’

I have a rule that if I can get in the door, put my bag down, hang my coat up and get the kettle on without hearing ‘so…..’, I’m safe.

The other night I came in as usual. Bag down, check. Toddler anchored to the ankle, check. Coat away, check. Toddler into the arms, smothered with kisses, and released. Check. Kettle on, check. Relax.

Ellie shoots me a mischevious glance.

“Ol, poppet, what did you want for dinner?” she cooed sweetly.

“A PIZZA!” Ol announced proudly. I spin my head round so fast my neck practically breaks.

“Shall Ellie make you pizza?” she asked.

“No, telephone a pizza,” he said seriously, toddling off into the hall. I covered my face with my hands.

“We don’t have takeaway pizza that often,” I begin. Ellie shoots me a look which immediately conveys that she knows I’m lying and it doesn’t really matter whether we have pizza every night she doesn’t leave something for us.

Ol reappears with the cordless phone and presses some buttons. Thankfully the keypad on this actually locks, something a childless person wouldn’t have known or thought about when buying said phone but pretty useful when you discover that it does.

“Yes, hello. A pizza?” Ol cocked his head to one side. “Okay. A pepperoni and a veggie supreme……Half hour great okaybye. Bedtime Ollypop”.

Ellie falls about laughing. I feel a giggle rising up inside me too. It’s cute, admittedly but three embarrassing things.

One that our son is practically able to order our pizza for us.

Two we obviously have pizza so often they know our voices and address without even asking.

Three we order it so frequently just before putting him to bed that he tags ‘bedtime Ollypop’ onto the order.

Oh the shame….Maybe we’ll have Chinese tomorrow.

Thyme for thinking

© Kuvona | Dreamstime.com

We’re pleased to welcome back Suzannah Thyme for her second post on the Nannyjob blog!

 

If you read my first post you might remember that our nanny has been with us for a year. The time has simply flown by and we count ourselves very lucky that Ellie has put up with us for this long. Having a nanny isn’t quite the same as having any other type of employee, particularly when it comes to managing performance and formal reviews. It tends to be an ongoing process – slightly elongated handovers or a sit down with a cup of tea on the rare days that I do work from home while Ol naps – for us at least and the idea of ‘managing’ Ellie in that way filled me with trepidation.

 

I turned where most people do these days, the internet, for to gather advice and gauge opinions on what was and wasn’t normal. It seemed a mixed bag, some had a very formal process with a self-evaluation form to comment on their performance, others let it slide by with nothing at all, a good number had an informal meeting or formal chat with a bit of warning that the contract would be reviewed. After canvassing Ed for his opinion, which elicited the information that he was going on a 10 day business trip of which I had no prior knowledge, we (read: I) decided on the slightly more formal chat approach.

 

The next challenge was when to schedule it. Evenings aren’t the best time for anyone and mornings tend to be rushed, certainly on my part, so we were evidently going to have to put aside a specific time. In the end it seemed most sensible to ask Ellie for the equivalent of a babysit and explain that we’d chat once Ol was in bed – takeaway and wine included. Luckily she was amenable to this plan, but once again the nagging conscience which insists that she’s entitled to her own life outside of work and this was an intrusion wouldn’t quite go away, as it does every time we ask for a babysit even though she insists she doesn’t mind.

 

Time and place set I turned my mind to the content. What does one discuss in a nanny’s review? Evaluating performance over the past year was easy -“You’re doing a brilliant job, will you stay until Ol leaves home?” was what I essentially wanted to say. There were no foreseeable changes and we didn’t need to modify the contract. Once again I turned to the internet and discovered that nannies typically wanted to discuss holiday and payrises. Ah.

 

Holiday isn’t a problem as far as I know. Bank Holidays off, 2 weeks her choice, which she tends to take a one week and then a few days here and there, 2 weeks ours, except it’s been more over the last year, and the time between Christmas and New Year. We’ve never sorted our holiday out that far in advance, although maybe we should talk about that and pencil in key dates. And dates when holiday wouldn’t work so well for us. But the idea of a payrise strikes fear into my heart.

 

Much as we love Ellie and I would pay her millions if I could we’re stretching our budget already to afford a nanny for one child. It’s a luxury for us and any rise we could afford would be paltry in the extreme on an hourly basis. We gave a bonus at Christmas, which is uncomfortably close to the review given that I’ve not been paid for January yet, but then again it’s not really her fault she started a new job so close to Christmas when I would happily have given a bonus in June. Sitting down with a calculator I worked out we could afford about £75 a month over a year, which doesn’t sound a lot. If anyone has any ideas on extra things I can do to show appreciation I’d be grateful….

Tablets for tots

You’ll have noticed that THE present for children this year was…. a tablet.

From LeapFrog’s LeapPad and VTech’s Innotab  to Asus’ Nexus 7 and Apple’s iPad mini, tablets are everywhere, loaded with educational apps and games to keep children amused. So what are the pros and cons of tablets for tots?

+1 They’re ultra portable

Books, DVDs, CDs, card games, pens and paper. Leave them all at home, there’s an app that will so it for you. You can also access media content legally for much less than the book or DVD would cost and easily pop on something for you too.

+1 They’re intuitive

Even children as young as 1 can get their heads around touch screen technology. Unlike traditional PC based educational games tablet apps are easy to get to grips with.

+ They promote hand eye coordination and fine motor skills, literacy and mathematical ability

Children have to learn to control their hands and fingers to use a tablet, and some games encourage matching, sorting and counting skills,  shape, number and letter recognition, and phonics, as well as making a variety of e-books easily accessible.

+ They grow and evolve with the child

Leapfrog and Vtech etc aside adults can get as much use out of tablets as children and teens. The sheer number of apps is staggering and a new tablet now should, barring breakages, provide entertainment for years that can vary according the child’s tastes.

-1 They stifle the imagination

There are some good, creative drawing and music apps out there but it’s no substitute for the opportunities real art materials or musical instruments give you. There’s also no scope to put a lion on Old MacDonald’s farm or adapt what the wheels on the bus do if you’re just listening to a recorded version.

-1 They’re fragile

Most tablets aren’t hugely robust, even when they come encased in rubber, and older children will probably want a 7-inch adult tablet anyway. Young children can’t appreciate that their new toy is a complex electronic device to be treated with care and even with the best will in the world a older child may accidentally drop it.

-1 They’re sedentary activities

You don’t move much when you’re using a tablet and it’s certainly no substitute for running around outside. Repetitive use of one hand could also lead to RSI, especially as the way children use touch screen technology when they’re young will set them up for how they use it in later life and it’s not going away.

-1 Children can access the Internet unsupervised or run up a bill buying apps

Most tablets aimed at the children’s market incorporate parental control but if you accidentally leave that off and your iTunes or Android marketplace account logged it’s scarily easy and fast for a child to run up a bill. Most free apps include a quick link to the full version and an imprudent tap or two could be pricy.

-1 They’re addictive

You know those adults who always have some kind of electronic device in their hand? Chances are they’re addicted. The brain quickly becomes dependent on the instant gratification a smartphone can provide and this can also less to problems with concentration later on. Children are especially vulnerable because their brains are still very plastic, which means new habits can form easily.
Our verdict:

Handle with care, both literally and figuratively! While they might keep children occupied for hours, you should also make time for activities away from the tablet, even if you’re essentially doing the same thing. If you’re a childcarer make sure to communicate with the parents about appropriate usage and stick to their rules.  Consider limiting use to specific locations or certain times of day to ensure that it isn’t overused and always double check the content and parental controls on a standard tablet. Finally, remember an interactive tablet is no substitute for an interactive adult!

Keeping up with the Thymes

Nannyjob is delighted to introduce our new parent blogger -Mrs Thyme – who will be blogging about the ups and downs of employing a nanny and family life.

© Kuvona | Dreamstime.com

Let me start by saying I’ve never actually blogged before. I love and loathe in equal parts the various Mummy blogs that pop up periodically on my Twitter feed – love them because I’m a proper nosy parker, secretly loathe them because they are filled with the kind of perfection I aspire to. So bear with me while I work this out and here goes!

 

The logical place to start seems to be introducing our family, a cosy little group of 3 – Suzannah (that’s me), Edward and Oliver (18 months) – plus 1 –   Ellie, our nanny who has been with us for almost exactly a year. We all work full time, Ol probably hardest of all playing and growing, and are probably all having trouble adjusting after time off over Christmas.

 

It’s times like this, after the holidays, where I feel enormously grateful for having a nanny. Colleagues who drop their children at a child-minder or nursery don’t have the luxury of coming home to a tidy house and an empty laundry basket. I don’t know how she does it but Ellie by herself with Ol is more productive than Ed and I put together tag teaming toddler demands and miscellaneous household tasks like putting a wash on and hanging it out to dry. Add cooking 2 nutritious meals, and fitting in a class or run around at the park and some kind of art, craft or baking. I’m exhausted thinking about it.

 

I’ve tried to see how it’s done when working from home, but I know nannies hate that (parents working from home, not domestic espionage) because you disrupt their routine, no matter how hard you try to limit your caffeine and biscuit consumption so you don’t need to go to the kitchen. Children’s bat like hearing can pick your voice up from the other end of the house if you’re on the phone to a colleague or a client and you can forget about going to the loo. I laugh at people who say working at home is wonderfully relaxing. They either have school-aged children, or better yet no children at all, and sit productively at their computer simultaneously dyeing their hair and waiting for their toenails to dry. I tried it once but the increasingly loud sighs and increasingly lengthy tantrums every time I popped back to the bathroom to complete the next stage of my beautification put me off.

 

A couple of days after the announcement that I’ll be working from home I’ll be treated to an anecdote from Ellie about something a work-from-home boss of a nanny friend of hers has done. It’s a subtle, yet effective, way of letting me know that I shouldn’t even think about committing that particular sin, although some of them are rather funny like the MumBoss who didn’t get dressed until 10am and took very serious conference calls wearing slinky PJs. I thought in the beginning Ellie would be glad to shorten her day by the 3 hours that cover my commute (yes, 3 hours, the District line can be a little challenging) – fully paid of course – and have the opportunity to have a real lunch-break, maybe even schedule a hair appointment because I don’t mind being flexible, but it seems that isn’t the case, so I rarely do. I will commit the sin from time to time just to save myself the commute and prove that I can be productive whilst working from home, building up credit for those vaccinations, birthdays and, way into the future, first days at nursery or school and nativity plays or end of term shows. In a way I understand, it takes a brave person to sing, dance and discipline a toddler under the watchful eye of another adult, and I would hate my own boss breathing down my neck all the time.

 

So today I’m at work, and basking in the knowledge that when I arrive home we’ll have lasagna for dinner tonight and Ol’s washing will be underway and there may even be cake. If I did all that I’d expect Ed to bring me flowers, so I’ll just pencil in a stop on the way home to pick something up for Ellie even though she does it every day and I can’t thank her enough.