parents – Page 9 – Nannyjob blog

Childcare is Tough! Stay Energised with These Top Tips!

Being a parent is tough! Being a nanny is tough! Working in a nursery is tough! Raising a child is one of the most rewarding, but also one of the most challenging things you could ever do. The trouble with constantly taking care of the needs of your child or young charges is that it’s easy to push aside your own which can quickly lead to burnout that can affect both you and your children.

Try these top tips to help you take care of and re-energise yourself:

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Gender Stereotyping – What Is It and How to Avoid It

The topic of gender stereotyping with regards to children has been gaining a lot of traction in the news and online. You’ve probably already seen at least one article, video or news feature on this topic.

But what is it?

Gender stereotyping is associating certain expectations or ideals depending upon someone’s gender. In relation to children, this could be that typically, girls should like the colour pink and should play with dolls and kitchen sets, whereas boys should like the colour blue and should be more physical in their play, making mess or playing with action figures and video games.

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Keeping your cool

Some days can just be frustrating. Your alarm doesn’t go off, you forgot to fill up the car, there’s no milk when you get to work, the children won’t nap and bicker endlessly, you finish later than planned…..As child carers we don’t have the luxury of a 5 minute break to cool off with a cuppa, we can’t lock ourselves in the loo for a quick cry and we work with people who, by definition, are unreasonable. So how do you keep your cool when everything seems to be falling around you? We asked some of our Nannies for their top tips

Sammie, Nanny, 27

I recently took up yoga and meditation. Now when I’m getting a bit stressed, I trying to do some focused breathing, or sit in a relaxing pose. The little girl I look after tries to copy me and I think it calms her down too so it’s good for when we’re both stressed out.

Emma, Childminder, 32

Whenever I feel myself getting hot and bothered, I throw my plans for the next half an hour out the window and start an activity I enjoy doing. Playdough is therapeutic for me! Then my mindees come and join in and it reminds me why I love working with children.

Hannah, Nanny, 23

The best way to get rid of stress is to smile, make funny faces and funny noises. No-one can stay cross for long. You must laugh instead.

Nina, Nanny, 35

We always put on some music and have a bit of a boogie. Sometimes I need to stomp around a bit, so I pretend it’s dancing, sometimes I just need something to lift my spirits. If all else fails, there’s always Gloria Gaynor.

Eve, Childminder, 38

If I’m cross, I talk about it with the children. I think children are very sensitive and can pick up on your mood easily so it’s important to identify it for them and say what’s happened to make you feel that way. Children can have good suggestions for making you feel better too.

Jess, Nanny, 29

Counting to 10 always works for me. Plus, it’s educational. You just keep counting until you’ve cooled off.

Patricia, Nanny, 54

I’ve learned that you must talk about what made you upset in the first place, so you don’t end up in one of ‘those’ moods with it being one of ‘those’ days. If you feel your boss has been inconsiderate, write it down and chat about it in the evening. If your charges are pushing the boundaries talk to them and to their parents. Talking means you’re not trying to cope on your own and you’re taking steps to resolve the problem.

Lucia, Childminder, 32

Learn to let go. It’s not worth working yourself up because you end up getting unhappier as the day goes on. Holding onto what went wrong only makes more things feel like they’re going wrong. Let it go as soon as it happens.

Debbie, Nanny, 41

Don’t take responsibility for children’s behaviour and emotions. They’re their own person and although they need to learn to control how they feel don’t feel like you’re failing and stress yourself out because they aren’t behaving properly. Your own feelings and actions are the only thing you’re responsible for. Let them be angry if they need to.

Hassle free holidays

Holidays can be a sticky topic for nannies and employers to discuss. Every employee has the right to take 5.6 weeks (28 days full time, pro rata for part time positions) holiday per year. This breaks down to 8 Bank holidays and 4 weeks of other holiday, which is how it’s been expressed for many years in nanny contracts, although with an increase in part-time positions this is no longer a good idea.

Many people plan to take their most substantial holiday between June and September to benefit from the summer weather or because they are restricted by school holidays. It’s important to agree ahead of time when holidays will be so both parties have a chance to make plans, particularly as prices during school holidays can be very high. It’s not unheard of among nannies for employers to only inform their nanny of holiday plans at the very last minute, leaving the nanny with 2 weeks holiday that they’ve made no plans for.

For nannies it’s never a good idea to book a holiday without clearing it first with your employers. Employers can refuse holiday requests, although they do have to enable you to take your holiday at some point during the year. Most contracts say the holiday is 50% the employer’s choice and 50% the nanny’s but this is a custom rather than a legal right. It may be very inconvenient for you employer to find cover for you that week so communicate your plans well in advance and try to offer a couple of different dates. Your employers should appreciate the flexibility. The best case scenario is to sit down at the beginning of the school or calendar year and work out when holidays are likely. Then as plans firm up you can confirm or change holiday plans.

A common stumbling block is when employers take more holiday that they have given their nanny in the contract. There is no legal right to have more holiday than the 5.6 weeks every employee is entitled to, however it is a customary perk (and excellent compensation for working long hours) to give a nanny additional paid time off when their employer is away. If your contract explicitly states that there is more holiday then this is a contractual right. A nanny might be asked to do some jobs around the home while their charges are away, such as sorting through toys or clothes, batch cooking for the freezer, buying and naming new school uniform or spring cleaning children’s rooms. If you do request this additional work from your nanny then leave them the autonomy to decide when it’s done. They may choose to ‘work from home’ buying and naming school uniform, or spend an evening sorting clothes or cooking instead of arriving at 8am.

Finding cover for a nanny can be a problem; If it’s impossible to take time off working and you have no family support then investigate activity camps for older children, or ask your nanny if any of their friends would be interested in a week or two of extra work. Alternatively a temporary nanny will provide the same level of cover you are used to – particularly important if you need to travel for work or work long hours. You can either use an agency or search our database to find a temporary nanny.

As always, communicating with each other about your plans is vital! If you do this then there’s no reason holidays should cause any hassle!

Image © Siart | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

When and how to potty train

Summer is a great time for potty training, and if school is approaching in the autumn and your soon-to-be Reception child is still clinging stubbornly to nappies it’s the last real chance before September.

There are 3 things to consider before you start – age and readiness, timing, and method.

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Spotlight on cars

If a nanny drives as part of her (or his) job then they may use their own car or a car provided for them by their employer. Nowadays most nannies have their own cars but may not be happy to use them for work. If they are then there are several things to take into account:

Mileage – anyone using their car for work can be paid 45p/mile for the first 10,000 miles free of tax. If a nanny does over 10,000 miles this drops to 25p/mile. Miles done should be recorded (most people find a little notebook helpful) and submitted at regular intervals.

Insurance – nannies using their own car need to have business class insurance and the insurer needs to be aware what their job is.

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Sleep Difficulties with Children – How a Nanny Can Help

Having a young child who won’t or can’t sleep can have a knock-on effect for the entire family.

Sleep problems for babies and young children are becoming more commonplace and routines can be extremely difficult to stick to, especially when you’re not around your child 24/7. That’s where a nanny can step in and help to keep the routine running smoothly so that everyone in the family stays fully rested.

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10 reasons to hire a nanny

Thought about hiring a nanny but not convinced? Here are 10 reasons to take the plunge.

Beat the morning rush. You can leave your children to get up at their own pace and even you’re your nanny sort breakfast for them while you get ready. No more turning up to work with snot and porridge on your jacket.
Calm evenings. If you want, your nanny will do bath or dinner or both, meaning you don’t have to pick up the children from childcare, get home and do the whole evening routine.
No time off for sick children. Nannies will care for poorly babies and children that childminders and nursery won’t take.
A strong, secure attachment. It’s vital, particularly for babies, for children to form a secure attachment to a limited number of caregivers. A nanny provides consistent, loving attention.
Things done your way. Want your children to eat organic? Nap at certain times? Go to the library twice a week? You’re the boss.
They cook and clean, and tidy, and shop. Only for the children but they will prepare children’s meals, including dinner ready for you to reheat, do their laundry, clean their bedrooms, make sure you have bread, milk and nappies and generally leave the house in the state you left it that morning (if not better).
They bake. Seriously. Most nannies will happily bake with their charges meaning cake for you, we mean, cake for the school bake sale, saving you precious time the night before.
Cheaper for larger families. It might seem the pricy option but it’s about the same as two in nursery, or one in full time nursery and two in wraparound care. And no unpaid time off for you while you’re still paying childcare (see point 3).
You choose them. In a nursery you don’t get to choose who looks after your children, but with a nanny you have a great deal of choice. You can find someone who fits perfectly with your family or speaks a language you want your children to learn.
Extended hours. Arranged far enough in advance most nannies will agree to the occasional early start or late finish, which means you aren’t scrambling around to fill the gaps if you have a big business trip. Live in nannies are even more flexible and may regularly start early, babysit, or even work overnight.

Nannying for children in hospital

Most children will end up visiting the hospital at some point in their life. The lucky ones have a quick trip to A&E and go straight home but sometimes a longer stay is needed. This can be a very testing time for the family and you may need to step into the breach to provide support but it can be difficult to know what to do beyond keeping everything ticking over.

If there are other children in the family your job probably won’t change much athough you might end up working longer hours to allow your employers to spend time at the hospital. Ask whether siblings are allowed to visit and if the parents would like your charges to see each other. Bear in mind that some hospitals don’t allow children to go onto the ward so be ready to suggest other ways your charges can keep in touch, such as drawing pictures or speaking on skype.

You can support the parents by packing supplies for your charge ready to take to the hospital. Hospital food often isn’t appetising so if they are allowed to take snacks in then you can go to the shops and prepare a care package for them to take in. You can also keep up a stream of clean pyjamas and other clothes as hospitals can be hot and sticky places. If allowed, toys from home will help relieve some of the boredom of being stuck in a hospital bed, and for school aged children keep in touch with school in case they ask to do some homework! It’s a huge help for parents to be able to come home, empty a bag and repack it with everything that’s been laid out ready.

Volunteer to take a turn sitting at the bedside to give your employer’s a break and provide a change of scenery for your charge. Your employers will feel more relaxed leaving their poorly child with someone they know and trust too. Children’s development doesn’t stop when they’re in hospital so you can talk to the doctors and nurses about providing some suitable activities. Encourage them to play, talk and laugh with you as they would at home.

You also need to recognise that it’s a worrying time for you. Most nannies become deeply aatached to their charges and it’s difficult to see someone you love in distress. Look after yourself and don’t be afraid to share your feelings with your family or nanny friends.

When they come home from hospital your charge may have medication to take or specific care routines to follow. Make sure you’re clear on what these are and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Communication will be more important than ever and be sensitive to the fact that your employers might want to check in with you more often to see how everything is going.

If you’re a nanny and have some tips about working with a hospitalised charge don’t hestitate to share them on our Facebook page, Twitter or our messageboards.

Nanny references

Writing a nanny a reference can be tough. It usually means your childcarer is moving on and whether it’s your choice or theirs it’s often an emotional time. A glowing reference will help your nanny find a wonderful new job and show them how much you appreciate the job they’ve done for you.

Writing a nanny a reference can be tough. It usually means your child carer is moving on and whether it’s your choice or theirs it’s often an emotional time. A glowing reference will help your nanny find a wonderful new job and show them how much you appreciate the job they’ve done for you.

A good reference is about a page of A4 long. It often takes the form of a letter and includes your contact details so prospective employers can contact you. It should be written in the first person and split into easily readable paragraphs, each with a theme, for example your nanny’s day to day duties, their attitude to work, any particular skills they have and times they’ve gone above and beyond. You might find it helpful to refer to previous annual performance reviews when you sit down to write.

Give plenty of detail about your nanny’s current job and how that has evolved over time. If your nanny started when your child was a baby and they’re now at school you have 4+ years of very varied duties to cover! Don’t assume that a new-to-the-nannying-world prospective employer will know what ‘usual nursery duties’ or ‘daily care’ involves. Expanding on these shows what your expectations of your nanny were on a day to day basis, and of course you should comment on how well these expectations were met.

Providing specific examples will also help a prospective employer build up a complete picture of your nanny. Perhaps your nanny helped your child overcome shyness or transformed a fussy eater? By giving details of how they accomplished that you can demonstrate their approach to the children in their care as well as showcasing a positive impact they’ve had on your family.

Think about the kind of skills or attributes you really appreciate in your nanny. If your nanny is very organised or an excellent time-keeper then mention that in their reference. If the children are always laughing when you come home in the evening or they always have something they created that day to show you then share that with prospective employers. Bear in mind when writing a reference that your nanny may not always work as a nanny, or even in childcare, so highlight two or three highly transferrable skills.

A trickier task is writing a reference for a nanny who has been less than satisfactory. In this case a brief reference confirming length of employment and duties with an invitation for prospective employers to contact you will be more than sufficient.

Expect to be contacted whether you give a positive or neutral reference. Prospective employers will want to both check the veracity of your reference and ask detailed questions of their own. Be factual and honest – if they ask whether you ever needed to use a disciplinary procedure and you did then you should answer the question fully and truthfully. If that was the cause for terminating the nanny’s employment you are allowed to share that. If it was resolved satisfactorily use it as an example of how your nanny took your feedback on board and improved their performance.

Writing a reference is one of the kindest and most lasting things you can do for an excellent nanny and it will serve them all through their career, so it’s worth taking the time to do the task fully and well.