The trouble with teens is they think they don’t need a nanny or au pair, especially if you’ve been with them since they were much younger. They might feel that they’ve outgrown you or be embarrassed that their friends don’t have someone looking after them. The truth is they don’t need you in the same way but that’s not to say they don’t need you at all.
They need a cook, chauffeur, laundry maid and friend – all of which are file in the dictionary of job descriptions under ‘nanny’. Parents who keep nannies on for older children often have busy lives, working long hours or traveling frequently and want someone else to take care of the day to day tasks so weekend time as a family can be maximized. So teens do still need someone to buy their supplies for school projects, someone to make sure they get some dinner and someone they trust who isn’t a parent or teacher to talk to. Next time they say they don’t need you then point out all the practical things you do.
The teenage years are a difficult time bringing lots of changes. If you’re young you might find it difficult to maintain your authority because they realise that firstly people have to earn respect and authority and secondly they’re not so much younger than you after all, which is often a problem for au pairs. If you’re more mature they might feel that you’re out of touch and don’t understand them.
Take time to connect with teens in your care. Fake an interest in the latest band/singer/soap if you have to because it’s important to them and it gives you something safe to talk about. Give them space and privacy with their friends and don’t push them for details of what’s going on at school unless there’s a problem.
Give them freedom, as long as your employers are happy, to manage their time or walk back from school/the bus by themselves. Learning independence is an important part of being a teen and it can be hard to resist the temptation as a nanny to ‘nanny’ them. Sometimes the very title nanny is a red flag to teens so have a chat with them and come up with a description you’re both happy with that they can use to other people. You can become their sibling’s nanny or a family assistant – your professional pride might take a hit but you can still list the job as nanny on your CV.
The hardest thing about nannying teens is leaning that you have to give a little on the boundaries. Consistency and structure are vital for toddler and younger school aged children but teens needs negotiation too. Get it right and you’ll have a treasured place in your teen charge’s heart, not that they’ll ever admit it!